ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Previous thread: GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like ?
>What do girls/guys think about
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, .

>I'm an insecure/suicidal/anxious person who doesn't leave home
Watch these and follow these channels:
youtu.be/S8CNAiKZEEM
youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_K7XH1AIG8wZtQSM56Tyc-CR9ypvCbrF

>Guys insecure with their 4+ inches dick
Fuck off

>Why is there no new thread?
Create one yourself. You can use these macros: imgur.com/a/y6BF2

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Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

femanons what do you masturbate to, we know woman don't really watch porn so what do you think about?

It's my ex gfs birthday in a few days. We had a really nasty breakup months ago. Should I wish her happy birthday or just let it the fuck go and get on with my life. She already told me she's in love with another man, go figures hah.

How can you tell when a girl actually likes you and when she's just pretending to for a joke or a dare or something? I've had plenty of times (especially in grade school) when girls would approach me, claim they really like me, and run away laughing. There are tons of similar cases, but the main problem is I just can't tell anymore when a girl actually likes me or if they're just teasing me because they know I'm a fucking virgin loser

Also, how to you approach women without them assuming you want sex or a gf? It's like casually talking to a girl is impossible

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For the men (from a girl):

On what basis would you ever physically or mentally abuse a woman?

I ask, because I've been mentally abused by several guys, physically abused by one, and the justifications all of them have given me were something along the lines of: "It's for your own good."

I used to (and still probably do) think this when I was in high school. I made 0 friends because I always thought someone being nice to me was going to turn on me. That only happened less than like 5 times but I ruined way more chances than that by letting myself be controlled by it. I wish I knew the answer user, the only thing we can do is assume that that isn't what they're doing and keep trucking.

should i tell a girl im talking to online that i have feelings for her even though i know theres nothing that would come from it and i would love just being friends?

its eating me up inside and bottling everything up fucking hurts. i've never connected with someone so hard before

Myself personally the only way I could abuse someone is if I don't know I'm doing it (unconscious manipulation or some shit).

That is a shit excuse and if someone abuses you then you leave immediately and never come back or talk to them again.

I wouldn't? maybe stop hanging around with massive cunts.

I never would myself, but I imagine they're just afraid of you being disloyal to them going all feminist on them.

Serious answer, I would never knowingly and intentionally abuse someone while sane.

Sarcastic answer, if she called me daddy.

If I'm actively abusing someone then I am straight up not going to be aware of it. That's not a tool I deliberately keep in my bag.

>femanons what do you masturbate to
Thoughts, mostly. Usually fuelled by something I read or watched.

Hard-core porn doesn't do it for me, so you're right about that. It's just not really appealing. There is too much missing, and I'm not given any context to the situation. The closest would probably be hentai/comics, where there is at least some semblance of story.

That seems like the only way. It has ruined all kinds of opportunities for me as well. I have major trust issues desu. Because of that, I'd rather be left alone than open my heart to someone who just wants to piss all over it.

That's life though. Maybe I should focus on building up my low-ass self-esteem.

I used to watch porn. I also read a lot of literotica.
I mostly look at pictures or videos of my boyfriend now.

What can I give a guy friend (read: crush) as a birthday present? Preferably something that makes it clear I am interested in him.

Got plenty of cash, and I wouldn't mind spending big, I'm just worried it would have the opposite effect of what I am hoping for.

Much like everyone else, I wouldn't actually DO this. However, I guess I've noticed this from my father. It's a sense of superiority, control, and anything that doesn't resemble that must be set back in place through force or manipulation.

I know of some dudes who get a kick out of that, knowingly shaping someone's mind to the point where they feel owned. Others, like my Caribbean father, are raised in their households where women are subservient.

Dunno why I typed all that, but I hope it helps.

Dumber question for my half. Ladies, would you judge a man approaching 27 years of age for having a handful of Kpop and vidya posters on his wall?

Something meaningful for him.
The first birthday gift I got for my boyfriend (LDR) were tickets for his favourite hockey team, in a town near mine. We're long distance, so I told him that we could meet up there, go see a hockey match of his favourite team and then spend the weekend together.

>Thoughts, mostly. Usually fuelled by something I read or watched
like what though,
> I also read a lot of literotica
any noteable examples?

>Ladies, would you judge a man approaching 27 years of age for having a handful of Kpop and vidya posters on his wall?
...Maybe.

But it depends heavily on what it is. Kpop can look fine, but if it is scantily clad teens, I would probably be concerned.

Same with video game posters. I am not much of a gamer, and I still have a pretty cool Bloodborne poster hanging over my bed, simply because it looks amazing, and there is something funny about having a beautiful scenic picture of the Hunters Dream at my bed. If it's some weeb stuff with panty shots, again, it would be an entirely different story.

Generally though, I judge guys regarding a lot more than someone putting up things related to their interests. Worst possible example I have, was this guy with a super small apartment, who still had a weight lifting station (or whatever it is called). That is so cringe, that I am pretty sure I would be more accepting of someone with some questionable fanservice poster.

>any noteable examples?
I don't want to go and look, to be honest. I probably change them every time.
I like BDSM stories, I like first time stories. Well written, good grammar, somewhat realistic.

There's one I liked about a female teacher who dommes two of her students, pretty hot.

It's hard to even know what self esteem is when we've not had it for so so long. I've never liked myself, I don't even know what it looks like. And how can I expect anyone to like me when I don't even like myself?

>like what though,
Like... imagining two characters from a show go at it, read a story with some veiled sexual action going on, etc. The more into the characters I am, the better, usually. Literotica used to be a good source for me, but I've kinda grown out of it. Too much is so painfully obviously written by guys, who think girls fall apart into helplessly horny sexmachines if anything touches their bare skin.

I can't actually name anything notable. I don't have anything I go back to, so it changes from time to time. Currently, I'm a bit stuck over a pretty mediocre Assassins Apprentice book, which has some pretty interesting characters.

Damn that Hunter's Dream poster sounds pretty nice. Link?

And nah it's all older idols. Signed stuff from concerts and such. Thank you for your answer!

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Have you listened to audio erotica? Jow Forumsgonewildaudio for example? I found it like a month ago and it's way better than video porn to me (male). There are a lot of women on that sub and they seem to like it a lot.

Interesting, so it's more the circumstance of the sexual encounter than anything else?

I feel that. I've considered talking to a shrink, but I don't think that'll do anything. Who's to say they won't just tell me what I want to hear anyways?

One thing's for certain though, the only person who can fix this is myself. I don't exactly know how, but I'll be damned if I'm still in the same state when I'm 30 or something.

How much do guys care if you have hair around your anus?

I've been with a guy and he never complained but I wonder if it ever bothered him during certain positions in sex

I do! I really liked it. I feel weird now because I feel like it's cheating to watch porn or listen to audio porn after I met my boyfriend (yeah I know, I'm fucked in the head) and it turns me off entirely.
I liked the idea much more than regular porn tho.

Yes, definitely. I don't care much about the visuals (unless it's something I'm really not into) but more about the circumstances.

When I go down to lick your pussy and asshole, I just don't want to have a mouth full of hair. I'm down there to make you feel good, not to eat hair haha.

>Others, like my Caribbean father, are raised in their households where women are subservient.
Which culture? I ask, because I live in a neighbourhood that's primarily Haitians, Jamaicans, and Trinidadians, and all of them are very different.

hmm, would you say romance movies/books etc have a similar effect or is that a step too far removed from the actual sex?

I'm taking therapy right now, only went twice so far, but I'm hopeful. I think in the next few sessions I'll mention this.

Not that it's easy to bring up, I rarely talk positively about myself.

Nah, I need the sex.

cool thanks.

My parents are Haitian, but my father came to the US in his 20s whereas my mother came when she was a kid. She's super Americanized and doesn't really like when his mannerisms come out, but still puts up with it because she "has to."

I've heard similar stories from kids with Jamaican and Trini parents as well. Perhaps it's really dependent on how Americanized the parents are.

I'm Canadian, so "Canadized" as well.

Met this one girl from one of my over summer classes ( not related to uni ). There were maybe ~6 of us and out of 6 of us she was already friends with 4 and has come with them. I really started liking her and it seemed like she spent more time talking to me than to them.
I asked her out m few months later saying "we haven't seen each other in a while" and stuff like that.
She took time to reply and then said "you mean all of my friends and I or just you and me, I'll see when they are free if first"
She jumped to realization that I wanted to go out with all of them and not just her, even though I haven't talked much to others, does this just mean there wasn't any chance for me to make it?

I'm not a fan, but I'm not really in a position to complain, I can't imagine there's much to like about my body.

no, she's testing the water to avoid an awkward situation, be clear with your intentions nigga.

In regards to dick size, what's too small, ideal, and too big?

Wanted to add: yeah, I actually do see that a lot with Haitian guys. Dated one of them and he was pretty male chauvinist, i.e. he thought I (white woman) always needed to be "protected". Don't know if your father is like that too.

But she jumped to that option so fast. She knows that I only really talked to her there.

...

ok then tell her to forget it and call her a slut for good measure. (or stop being a fucking spazz and do what I told you)

Kek. For real though.

>And nah it's all older idols. Signed stuff from concerts and such. Thank you for your answer!
Signed stuff sounds cool.

Couldn't find an exact picture, but it was something like this, just a slightly different angle, and a bit more zoomed out. Got it in a nice frame from a friend.

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For girls:

< 4 is too small
6 < x < 7 is ideal
8 > is too big

Let it the fuck go.

I fucking meant to say "for me, not for all girls". I'm sleepy. I have slept like 6 hours in 2 days.
I'm sorry.

do girls shit test for a guys loyalty before they even start dating?

this girl is giving me the biggest guilt trip for "flirting" with other women, but we've never dated, havent even met yet. we know each other through online. she's been calling me a fuckboi, womanizer, etc.

i already told her i liked her but she gave no indication of her feeling the same way.

>do girls shit test for a guys loyalty before they even start dating?
If I'm flirting with a guy and it's pretty clear we're interested in each other, and he's flirting with other women, I'm not "guilt tripping him" but I'm dropping him.

Why don't you ask her out?

Had a female friend with whom I hung out with a lot, and was flirty with. She told me she felt I was sometimes/often being manipulative, and she didn't understand why.

I didn't do it consciously, but after she mentioned it, I did notice that I had unconsciously done some manipulative things a few times, even though I had no ill-will towards her.
I feel like manipulation on some (innocent) level is a normal part of human socializing, and that what constitutes as malevolent manipulation depends on both parties.
Some might feel that totally innocent comments from a partner are manipulative, while others might not feel like anything's wrong even in a full-blown mainpulatively abusive relationship.

Basically make sure you and your partner are on the same wavelength, and don't accept shit you don't feel comfortable with. If you feel like they're manipulating you, say it. If they don't agree/won't change their behavior, get out.

>How can you tell when a girl actually likes you
Go near them and say "Do you like me?". If they say something along the lines of "Yes.", chances are they like you. If they don't, it's safe to assume they don't like you.

>Also, how to you approach women without them assuming you want sex or a gf?
Literally just talk to them about something that's not flirty.

Is it wrong of me to stay friends with guy who loves me if I only see him as a friend? I care about him a lot but purely as a friend. But he still cares about me more than a friend even 4 years after I told him that wouldn't happen with us.

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What's wrong, user?

>and the justifications all of them have given me were something along the lines of: "It's for your own good."
Lots of people use excuses like that for being shitty, not just in relationship but in general.

I'm exactly 4 inches erect

If there's nothing that would come from it, and you love just being friends, why would you tell her that you have feelings for her?
If you actually would love just being friends, you've already got what you want. No need to ruin it.

If on the other hand you would actually love being more than friends and you think that telling her about your feelings might (realistically) change your friendship into something more, you should tell her.

It's a bit of a grey area, but I'd say it's generally wrong.

That's awesome, you're not in the too small range! You're in the acceptable range. If only it was ≤, user, you'd be screwed.

>6 < x < 7 is ideal
>8 > is too big
It just ain't fair.

I love him very much as a friend. I want the best for him and told him he's a great catch and a woman would be lucky to have him. But he says he hates when I say stuff like that.

I'm sure there are women who are don to take your huge dick, but I honestly already can't take my boyfriend's who is a little above 7".

Rightfully so. God damn, what a fucking awful thing to say.

>told him he's a great catch and a woman would be lucky to have him.
I know you think you're being nice by saying that, but he can tell you're lying.

Why?

If he was a great catch, you'd date him. You're lying to him and it's rude.
I know you mean good, but honestly just tell him why you don't want to date him and perhaps risk to lose him or hurt his feelings, instead of giving him this kind of shit.

A high quality pocket knife.

I'm not lying. He is great. He's very loving and caring and funny and smart.

Yeah, but nobody wants that type of girl.

>He is great. He's very loving and caring and funny and smart.
That may be true, but evidently that's not enough to make him a catch. Or at least, that's how I guarantee he feels.

People can be a great catch and still not right for each other.

I swear to god guys literally play this game trying to make themselves miserable so they can complain. I've met super nice guys but they just aren't my type. So someone else can meet them and be happy. Ffs dudes the world is not out to get you.

>"someone else will do it lmao"
Typical female attitude.

It's hard because being around reminds him why he likes you and he convinces himself there could be a chance one day. yoi can stay friends but I suggest some distance and helping him meet other women. I think most likely he'll one day disappear from your life for good and settle for some other girl resenting you, but there is a chance he will move on and be a really cool friend later.

>In regards to dick size, what's too small, ideal, and too big?
Below 4 inch is too small I think. My toy is 4 inches, and hits everything it needs to, so 4 inches is fine, but it definitely shouldnt' be much smaller.

Ideal would probably be around 5ish. Tried it, felt just right.

Too big is somewhere between 6 and 7. Not sure where. Tried a guy around that size, but never got his exact length. He claimed to be 7, but I am pretty sure he was slightly smaller. He had to be careful, or it would hurt.

Only had 2 partners, so take this with a grain of salt. First I know was about 5, give or take, and that was by far the preferred size to the other guy who claimed to be 7.

>You should date someone who isn't your type, and you realistically wouldn't be a good match with, just because someone has to do it, and it might as well be you
Kids these days are so entitled.

>tfw 5'
>tfw tall so it's always going to be a disappointing surprise

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Keep playing the pity game
It's your life

I'm a girl. I understand where you're coming from, but he's not a "great catch" according to you. You don't genuinely think so.
You might think he's a good person, but not someone you'd date, hence not a great catch.
Just say
>You're a good person
>I wouldn't date you because X and Y
>I still am sure you'd make some other women happy because I think you have W and Z qualities, which are absolutely great in a dude.
>I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings.
Works much better, is honest, makes the other person feel like you're not lying to them.

>So someone else can meet them and be happy.
This is what everyone says about unattractive guys, and while they probably aren't lying, it's not true. I'm not saying you have some moral responsibility to date him, obviously you should only date people you like, but don't say this kind of thing.

>I think most likely he'll one day disappear from your life for good and settle for some other girl resenting you, but there is a chance he will move on and be a really cool friend later.
Not her but I just want to say I was a dude on the opposite side of her story. And I did exactly what you said. I resented her and told her I can't be friends with you anymore because I have feelings for you that you don't have for me. She cried and said why can't I just stay friends with her. I told her I'll never speak to her again. So yeah I never moved on and still refuse to talk to her like 5 years later even when she sends me messages asking me how I'm doing and if I'm ok.

When a girl says “maybe” or “possibly” that means “no”, right?

It's not wrong persay, but if it's causing him discomfort/pain to be near you, and you consider yourself his friend, you might want to do the selfless thing and cut him off.

It depends on the person if they're able to not let their feelings come in between friendship.

Me personally, I've been absolutely in love with a girl, but they were already in a relationship. I didn't have the need to ruin their thing, or even tell her about my feelings. I'm quite content with being her friend.
But other times I've know right off the bat that I would not settle for being their friend, and have either made a move or distanced myself from them.

tobehonest it depends. I think most people find it too difficult to not ruin friendships because of feels.

depends on the question, but that's a safe assumption.

youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

Not true. I'm a dude and can be just friends with girls who I deem either too ugly to date or girls I deem too attractive for me to attain. I just can't be friends with average attractiveness girls.

Well that obviously doesn't apply in this situation, since this guy's been orbiting for 4years.

I know. I just wanted to disprove the video. I think its dumb when people say guys can't be friends with girls. Its very easy to be friends with them if you don't find them attractive or if you find them completely unattainable.

Hm. My father is more possessive. We're all means to his ends. I got a college education to teach him stuff, kinda thing. My mom's the bread winner so he can spend the money.

Though I do know a few Haitians that are as you described. Same thing though, they were all FOB. On new years one of them straight up said that he only wants a gf to serve him and nothing else. Described how he's grooming this college girl and yadda yadda. It's frustrating to get into it with them, but ultimately not much I can do.

Thank you! Will look into it.

What do I talk about with a girl I'm interested in? Weird, and juvenile question I know. I feel like I should try and build more rapport with occasional texts on discord or whatever.

Reminder to literally never stay friends with a girl if she rejects you. Drop her from you life immediately.

As a guy, I have absolutely been friends with girls who I had absolutely 0 interest in being anything more with. Didn't even remotely want to fuck them, didn't want to be in a relationship, nothing.
But now that I think about it those times when _I_ didn't catch any feelings, I think _they_ might have.
So I guess it's very likely that at least one person in a cross-sex friendship will catch feels, but I do think it's still totally possible that neither will.

>Too big is somewhere between 6 and 7.
Fuck, have I just been lied to my whole life?

English isn't my first language, but I am in a realtionship with a girl from the US. I know that you don't use the word "love" too early.
Anyway, I'm making her a cute book on Valentine's can I write stuff like "I love your your eyes" "I love your confidence" or should I change love to like?

Anything you want.
My boyfriend and I talked about anything. We often just really shitpost.

Yeah, I the only way I can be friends with girls is when they're either unattractive or so far out of my league that I don't even bother to consider them. Fortunately or unfortunately 90% of girls fall into one of those two categories, so I don't have much trouble being friends with women.

No that's fine, especially since it's for valentine's. "I love *you*" is the one that's sketchy, but even that's more or less allowed on valentine's day.

>He's not a great catch
Can't account for different taste.

I can't do that overly social and confident guy, who thinks he owns the world. Even worse if he is obviously a ladies man, works out, and clearly draws the looks of other women. I'm not the competing type.

That doesn't mean I don't recognize this sort of guy would be extremely attractive to any ordinary girl.