To make a long story short

to make a long story short

>made friends with grill last year of hs
>we talk on and off for a couple ayears
>talking becomes more frequent, decide to hook up when we're both back from uni
>both catch feels, end up dating for 9 months
>i switch degrees to medicine, consider just joining her uni (she was doing psych)
>ended up with us mutually agreeing to do ldr
>4th year of uni, i almost cheated and told her about it
>felt like it put a permanent ding in our relationship, but holy fuck man maintaining an ldr for 5 years was rough
>im back home and in the middle of my licensing exams
>she's going ape shit because im constantly either studying or attending lectures (8-12hrs a day + self study) she doesn't understand at all and wants me to drop med all together
>parents can see im miserable w/o her, dad offers to just hand me a wad of cash and let me go to her and make my own way
>decide to stick with my career
>we have a few fights, then a breakup talk
>she goes out that same night and makes out with some co-worker in his car

literal fucking meltdown on my end. sounds stupid to say so here of all places but i knew her for 7 years, dated for 5, i really did love her

now i'm pretty sure im depressed, it's been 4 months and i dont really feel like doing anything. i managed to pass my exams tho despite what she put me through. another problem i have is considering ive been talking to the same person for 5 years i no longer know how to approach women. im a few months away from 25. should i just kms?

Attached: tijzpeqsorp01.jpg (720x712, 64K)

Once you become a doctor and rake in big bucks you can get sexy bitches no problem. Time to move on buddy.

forgot to mention, ended stuff with her on the spot, took all our mutal friends away from her, made sure to publicly let everyone know she's a cheating whore, threathened to leak her nudes and in my anger told her i hope she gets raped and murdered

not proud of any of it but i think i was justified

she had a shitty childhood, divorced abusive dad etc

guess she hid her mental issues pretty well

my best friend told me that from his conversations with her about our relationship he got the impression that she was very non-committal about significant issues and was content to let me do all the figuring out on my own, not taking any risks to herself really at any point.

i feel like it's not fair though, there has to be some justice involved here. i can't exactly spread nudes around since it would be dumb to jeopardize being a doctor over this.

sometimes when i get really really low i just fantasize about tracking her down and killing her

people in my life give me a wide berth because i've been quite unstable as of late and prone to snapping and chewing people the fuck out when they get irritating

Kill yourself? No, breaking up is shit and everyone has a rough time with it.

You did the right thing in every situation. You didn't let pussy stray you off your path, and even after she did what she did you didn't breakdown and hit the bottle. You passed all your exams.

Yeah, I know it's rough, but think of it like this: if she was that quick to make out with some dude in a car while you're hard at work, what do you think would have happened if you dropped out of school to go be with her? Sounds like a year into that relationship you'd probably catch her fucking around and she'd blame it on you because you're at work all the time or bring up that time you ALMOST cheated. Then you're out the girl and the career.

It'll get better. Breaking up sucks and you feel like shit. The best thing to do is find a new chick and you'll forget about the other one.

thing is (probably gonna get called out for this)
i loved her. i guess it's kinda relationship solipsism or at least that's how i'd describe it. you know how the average idiot goes through life thinking they're special and the world revolves around them? same kinda principle except i thought this was the greatest relationship in the world and it was going to be that kind of love that inspires people to do stuff. we'd talked about names for kids, what colour our house would be, the garden design, all kinds of stuff. my life revolved around her. now that she's gone it just feels aimless and pointless.

as for that almost cheated point yup, that's exactly one of the things she used to defend herself. nvm the fact that i literally just cuddled with this girl who was into me while we were watching a movie, didn't even feel her up or make out or any fucking thing, just needed some human contact and intimacy and i felt terrible about it and told her then and there.

idk, i was proud of it, seeing my other uni friends hooking up with morons and getting themselves into so much shit, i had a peaceful life that was mapped out, i was cultivating something i cared about and now it's gone and my entire worldview has changed or should change? idk

like i said, we were friends. for a long time. before we even dated. idk what could have possessed her to do something like this instead of just breaking up with me like a normal human being. literally just took her starting at a new job entering fucking data to leave me for some 22 y/o fuckboy graphic designer she's known for a few months or so.

>i loved her
Yeah, I kind of presumed that. The thing is, you're not the only person in the world that has had a terrible break up. Honestly it probably would have happened anyway, but in an alternate reality you would have thrown away your career, lost her anyway, and probably racked up a bunch of debt or something fucking stupid. Then you'd be making a thread talking about how you fucked up your career AND your relationship. Also you're fat in this alternate timeline.

And don't spread her nudes around, or kill her or whatever. It sound cliche, but the best revenge is living well. Go be a doctor or whatever it is you're doing, post pics on Facebook of the hot bitches you're fucking on the beach. Next thing you know you'll actually be happy and well off, having a beer with your buds while she's stuck with some fuckboy.

>>she doesn't understand at all and wants me to drop med all together
>>she goes out that same night and makes out with some co-worker in his car

She was trash. She would have hurt you much more if you sticked together. Maybe you would already have kids with her, bought a house together and THEN she broke your heart and wanted you to dump your plans and future for her. Be glad you had a good time together, but learn how to move on.

You sound like you study very hard, you're diong it in a great field. Your family got your back. Work on yourself and you will have a great life ahead of you. You will find someone who is worth it.

Loving someone won’t make you happy. Someone respecting you will. Life lessons learned the hard way. You’re alright, man. Go be a doctor.

lol nigga just finish school, get a job and rake in the doctor bucks. At least all this happened before you got married and had kids. Now she can’t rape your wallet raw with child support and alimony. You’ll meet someone else eventually

>took all our mutal friends away from her, made sure to publicly let everyone know she's a cheating whore, threathened to leak her nudes and in my anger told her i hope she gets raped and murdered
I seriously hope you didn’t do that

I did, I sacrificed a lot during uni (degree wasn't ez by any means) as well as social life just to keep her happy. This one time she threw this big stink about me eating pot brownies with my friends because she wanted US to try them together. So I didn't. This was just one of many incidents.

My negative reaction was only as strong as the positive emotions I felt for her.

The fuck was I supposed to do her? Pat her on the back and tell her it's okay?

>My negative reaction was only as strong as the positive emotions I felt for her.
What sort of bullshit is that? You loved her so much that you had to threaten violence against her? Nah man you’re just an asshole.
>The fuck was I supposed to do her? Pat her on the back and tell her it's okay?
No, it’s okay to be angry at her. You can be upset without outing yourself as a psycho

where the fuck did i threathen violence against her?
I said I HOPE she gets raped and murdered. If I really wanted to do something I wouldn't have made any threats, case in point, I haven't yet leaked her nudes even though I have a fuckton of them. I could also literally call into where she works or call the cops on her place with a drug complaint. I haven't done a single one of those things despite thinking about them

guess you're a woman with the same kind of mental deficit as her, to expect people to not react strongly in situations where they have every right to. it's fine though cheating is totally forgivable and people should get away with it completely.


If you can't see the difference between "I hope you die" and "I hope you get raped and murdered," we can't help you.

gr8 b8 m8

Attached: 3F947393-4EE0-45FD-BD3A-6C9CC0A7E571.jpg (475x356, 54K)

yeah i'm the shit person for saying something while my world was ending, nothing to do with her cheating in the first place

thanks feminism

I think OP left the thread and this dude just came here to troll.

No it's me. Explain to me how saying something awful is worse than doing something awful? I'm curious, if you can actually come up with a logical debate for what you're saying

I dated the same girl for 7 years and it was not long distance. We knew each other to our cores, and there's not a part of her body my mouth hadn't been on. We broke up 3 months ago. You'll be fine. I'm getting there.

That's pretty rough and I'm sorry to hear about it. I guess it actually being 7 years together makes it all the more rough. Hope you guys ended it on good terms at least though unlike what happened with me

>No it's me
so halfway through the thread you decided to start capitalizing every sentence and correctly type contractions? yeah nah gtfo troll

whoops not contractions, correctly typing “I”
I am retard

i can't tell if this is some master level bait or what kind of endgame you have in mind outside of just wasting my time and whoever else's time who happens to read your bullshit, either stick to the topic or get the fuck out honestly

make me sweety :)

Lad. You had a high school sweetheart. It didn't work out. She ended up being an insensitive slag. Sure it doesnt happen to everyone, sure it sucks, but it is not an uncommon story. Maybe its okay to take a break from dating. Focus on med school, that shit is hard enough. Maybe use newfound free time to hit the gym, exercise makes you feel better. You are not even 25. You are a fucking baby in the grand scheme of things, your life is nowhere near over. Finish up med school, start your residency or whatever it is you guys do, start raking in the dollars, do some productive stuff like going to the gym or church or a book club, whatever, and you will find another girl. If there was ever a demographic of people that didnt have to worry about getting women, it would be doctors.

Attached: c3849f329a79.png (604x587, 403K)

Alright well this took a turn. You need to apologize dude. I admit I've lashed out after breakups like that and it never has good consequences. And it doesn't make me feel better either. You'll be ok, you have a lot of life ahead of you and can find a girl who doesn't have as much baggage. But apologize sincerely and then you can start the process of moving on.

This. If you really want to hurt this girl but feel like you're not able to enough then you're not only a cunt but you'll be a miserable cunt until you literally forget about her.

Fir future reference: Ask her what she wants and actually listen. Find out why she wants these things and how. Tell her what you want and make sure you want it and that she understands because you communicate it properly. Explain why and how you want these things. Find a compromise that satisfies your individual needs.

The number 1 killer of goid or potentially healthy relationships is garbage communication skills in one or both parties.

Im honestly surprised that two people in the fields you're in couldn't reach an adequate compromise on your own. You both recieve communications training.

Ok... so you ARE an ass

No you're a shit person for thinking you're entitled to treat people like shit. 2 wrongs don't make a right. I don't care what happened, be the bigger person

>not proud of any of it but i think i was justified
No. No it was not. That's not how you treat someone you love user. That's how you treat a misbehaving child if you're a tyrant.

I do understand you're hurt and you felt betrayed. But retribution against loved ones should always be even handed.

Well for one... it's still awful and doesn't justify shit... You almost did the same thing she did to you so how much room to do have to say she wronged you so badly? Yes it was awful. No that doesn't mean it's your turn to be awful. What an unhealthy pair. You two weren't meant for eachother

Do not even fucking listen to those fucking hippies that are probably females. Liars and cheaters need to be treated like shit. DO NOT BE A FUCKING ALTRUIST WHEN SOMEONE FUCKS WITH YOU.

You did the right thing.

How am I supposed to sincerely apologize when she didn't even attempt to give me any closure or any semblance of apology, even the stuff she said was bs like "I'm sorry this happened to you" like I was in a natural fucking disaster and everything that occurred wasn't DIRECTLY due to her own actions. Practically everyone we knew was pissed as fuck at her, they knew what our relationship had been like and they also knew exactly how many hoops I had to jump through just to keep it going. Some of our friends outright refused to ever speak to her again. I can't chronicle our entire relationship because I don't think anyone is going to bother reading all of it

Yeah thanks for the sage advice here, we only managed to keep an LDR going for 5 fucking years, I'm sure that would have been possible without any kind of communication skills.

She constantly expected me to figure out what was in her head without being direct about it. Even if it hadn't been an LDR I wouldn't have tolerated that crap so well. Mindgames are for dumb teenagers, come out with what's on your mind instead of expecting someone else to put in all the effort and then throw it back in their face when they fall short of unrealistic expectations. Which is exactly what she used to do. "You're supposed to just know, I don't want to explain myself to you all the time." I seriously hope this isn't a condition that afflicts all women.

Stop projecting your insecurities user. I agree that as a general rule of thumb cheaters are garbage. But as always context is king.

Cheating on your husband of ten years and having him unknowingly raise your kids is heinous behaviour worthy of infamy and legal punishment on top of social ostracism.

This however seems like an anger fueled frustrated miscommunicated venting by one confused individual in a relationship with another. With bad handling of the event on top of it and piling of justifications on a guilty conscience.

I think both of you are idealistic as fuck. Like I said, my worldview is changing or is at a crossroads sort of, and from where I'm standing there really isn't much of a distinction between right and wrong, because people seem to do whatever the fuck they want regardless of the consequences to others, they're good when it suits them and bad when it suits them. There's nothing to be gained out of being the bigger person. At that point in time I wanted to hurt her as much as I possibly could, so I did. I'm glad I didn't actually share her nudes but I feel like it's one drunken bad decision away at this point.

I don't think what I did was right, I do feel like I had some justification for being angry and saying it, it's not like it was a random fucking hookup, she had been getting close to this dude and talking to him for months, even before we broke up she had the nerve to mention him to me and say they were friends. Not to mention other suspicious shit like deleting 100+ people we went to school with off her FB, etc. It goes on. But yeah from the looks of it they're most likely third wave feminists coming out of the woodwork.

May I remind you OP was cuddling up to some other girl as well and was one move away from cheating himself. So she kissed a dude. And he cuddled. No one fucked anyone. This was totally repairable until OP went blew a gasket and said he hoped she was raped and murdered. I've been there, lashed out, didn't feel any better but got in A LOT of trouble. OP should apologize while he can and not look quite as of an asshole as he really is.

If you guys were unable to reach a compromise and you both ultimately wanted the same thing out of the relationship then it stands to reason that your communication could be improved. That isn't to say you didn't have any, just that you both could have done better.

As a side note, it affects many women, yes. Part of being a skilled communicator is being able to draw out what she is trying to say in clearer words.

What more context would you like exactly?
I don't see how I could get any clearer than this.
Yes, I'm angry, but I don't think I'm confused, what went down is pretty black and white, and said relationship no longer exists and hasn't existed for months now, nice reading comprehension right there.

I'm not even slightly guilty about anything I said, she 100% deserved the shit she got from me and any sane person would agree. If I wanted to actually be vicious and vindictive there was a lot more shit I could have done but I didn't, maybe I'm not as much of a shitheel as you think I am?

Answer the following questions for clarity though:

1. Are you a woman?
2. How would you have handled it?

>Stop projecting your insecurities user
Attack of character. Typical female behavior. Cheating should not be tolerated by anyone. And it should be treated with disgust..

We get it. She was a bitch. And you're mad that you wasted 5 years, tons of effort, and probably money on her. Being mad isn't going to make it hurt any less or reward you for making it through a shitty ldr. Like we've been saying: MOVE ON. You have other things going for you. You'll be better than fine without her. Stop being mad, stop being a dick about it and have some fucking pride.

>Are you a woman?

>How would you have handled it?

Pretty much cut out the public shaming thing and nude pics threat. It will get out soon enough and I dont need to feel like a slimeball on top of everything. It's childish.

I never called you a shitheel. I did however accurately state that you were acting like a tyrant and seeking to punish and get retribution. You should seek to be just not to be overbearing and destructive. Not because it's "right" or "ethical" but because it's healthier for you.

Not every single instance. No. Again: context is king.

I'm trying. It's just hard.

Idk, to me it just feels like it doesn't make any sense for there to be no consequences. I didn't want anything to do with her at that point, I told our mutual friends it was either her or me, they went with me.

No one deserves to be told they should be raped and murdered. And the majority here is NOT agreeing with you. Being mad doesn't justify it. And yes you definitely are a shitheel. Which, I mean, I have been one before so I get it, but you gotta at least realize that you're being a shitty person

There's practically never women here btw

No one deserves to be cheated on either.

So I suppose "deserve"has nothing to do with it.

Oh and the rape and murdered thing was a bit much too. I mean, i get it, but come on dial the angry 12 yr old back a bit. That just isn't something you say. Again, you were angry and felt betrayed, i get it, I've been there.

But you need to strive to have control over your emotions or else be ruled by them. And at that point the difference between you and child is miniscule. You're in control always, or at least you should strive for that.

Ending it immediately was the right call, no doubt. Communication with friends also very cool, very healthy. Everything ekse was though? pent up frustration being let out and you know it. It was angry flailing. You should work on that because you know you can do better.

>No one deserves to be cheated on either.
Well that's just not true.

I understand what you're trying to get across to me and I'll keep it in mind from now on. I do have a problem with keeping my emotions in check when I'm in an extremely stressful situation. Curiously enough it's never happened to me when it comes to work-related stuff, only things in my personal life with family/closefriends/loved ones etc.

How fucking hard is it to break up with someone like a normal human being if you don't want to be with them to the point where you'd irreversibly damage what you have with them by being intimate with someone else?

No I mean OP is right about that. It really doesn't have anything to do with what someone "deserves". It's about how you handle adversity. It happens to everyone. The question is are you prideful enough to rise above it or do you devolve and take part in the mudslinging.

>How fucking hard is it to break up with someone like a normal human being
Maybe there's kids involved, money, legal issues, immigration, abuse, something . But to just say it's *always* this or that is just you projecting your own life experiences. I mean fuck dude, not much more to say about that then to reiterate: context is king

You're both scummy kids who deserved each other. And both cheaters. Work on yourself and healing and grow up a little.

Yeah user, I'm sure he'll take you seriously.

That's fair. To bad.

It sounds like you were both terrible people, and you should both use this experience to learn not what to do to people going forward.

You didn't even make time to regularly visit eachother during uni? Some relationship. It sounds like you were more like penpals.

I was studying medicine, not whatever community college degree you might be used to. And she was in Australia.