ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

What do you do if your gf has or seems to have depression?

nice picture OP. I think it's better than the usual

My dating site profile makes it very clear that I'm a crazy cat guy (even though I have only a picture with my only cat at the time). Is this a red flag for most girls? How much?

There's no such thing as a crazy cat guy. The stereotype is of an old washed up hag who can't attract a man, who fulfills her nurturing instincts by buying a shitload of cats to replace her missing children.

If you're really trying to play that angle, then you're playing on this miserable stereotype that is hyperfeminine, and then trying to be cute and genderswap it. What the fuck kind of impression do you think you'll get?

If you like cats, perfectly fine. I want one myself quite badly. Just be proud of it and cool, that's all. Don't make excuses for yourself like
"yeah heh... I'm the "craaaazy cat guy" hehe pretty quirky huh ladies?"

IDK what your situation is, but just for example, you can neatly arrange their bowls and boxes, have a excellent schedule that you're proud of, keep them well groomed, have a pedigree that you know by heart, anything like this. Show that you have a hobby that you're proud of, that you care about. That is fare more important that sticking some dumbass label on yourself hoping a girl will resonate with it.

Women will respect and admire you for basically anything you do, so long as you actually love it and feel pride.

Like me and World of Warcraft. If I choose to be ashamed, no girl would touch me.
"heh yeah, I play WoW sometimes, it's cool i guess..."

no, I go:
"FUCK YEAH I PLAY WOW. LEVEL 60 DRUID MAXED OUT HEALS UP IN THIS BITCH!"

ok drama... but you get the idea. It's all about how you conduct yourself that matters to girls. The hobby itself is less important. Just be proud of what you love because it is you, a real part of you.

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I slightly have farmer's tan, is this a problem for most girls?

I was wondering if posting a picture of me swimming in the pool would help, but then I noticed, "Oh! Farmer's tan."

No, this is 100% not a problem to girls

As a man, if I don’t cum for a while, I become extremely horny and focused on sex. Do women work the same at all in this capacity? Or is the sex drive static regardless of the frequency of masturbation?

Oh fuck hang on.

Either gender.
In terms of being a problem, is "catching feelings" just a meme for people that want to fuck around? That is, if I know a grill for a relatively short time and haven't asked her out yet, is it obsessive or a lack of control or something if I'm instantly crushing on her?
Is a crush seperate from the first stage of love that lasts a few years? I haven't felt this way since highschool and I've never really dated anyone before or anything, so this is unfamiliar territory.

..can I get burned this way when a better mentality could've produced better results?
I know I shouldn't instantly marry someone, but I don't know if I'm setting myself up for hurt like last time or what.

Why do I already feel like thinking the world isn't shitty?

I don't wanna get my hopes too far up if that ain't how it do.
Maybe I'm worrying too much?

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Friends convinced me to go speed dating, what do i say to people at this event, I'm kind of a boring guy who doesn't leave the house much outside work and work is pretty dull.
I'm worried I'll have nothing to say and I'll just end up awkwardly staring at the person, what can i say to encourage someone to talk about themselves and not about me?

Anyone else can’t stop having raw sex during hookups?
I haven’t gotten anything yet but I just don’t enjoy condom sex at all. Feel nothing.. should I stop? Are STDs really that prominent?

Yes

Yes, you should stop you fucking idiot. STDs are everywhere and its a miracle your dick isnt dripping in them. Grow up.

What the fuck do you mean “grow up”. This isn’t some instance of me doing anything ethically wrong, just because you morally won’t do it doesn’t make me childish. You are either a bitter woman who doesn’t get dick or a virgin guy upset he isn’t getting laid. It isn’t that fucking serious, lots of people have unprotected sex and generally the main concern is if the girl got pregnant.

How do I ask a girl out in a setting where everyone can hear our conversation and knows us? This girl that works at the barber shop I go to is really cute and always talks to me, but I know the owners and the place is super small. Don't wanna put her in an awkward spot.

you're taking a high risk for your health and the health of your partners as well.

either get tested and have your partner tested, or use a condom

>Don't wanna put her in an awkward spot
Then don't ask her out at work.

>This isn’t some instance of me doing anything ethically wrong
That's exactly what it is, manwhore. Whatever the prominence of STD's is, you don't have enough of them.
>It isn’t that fucking serious, lots of people have unprotected sex
And lots of people are human garbage, your point?

>"the only reason you could oppose this is if you aren't getting any, lol"
They also could have an ounce of self-restraint, or, incredible as it may seem, they may see some things as more important than base physical pleasure, especially when it comes with myriad consequences. But naturally to knuckledragging baboons like you, it's inconceivable that anyone isn't thinking with their genitals. Get AIDS, that is if you don't already have it.

no

tell her to go to a psychiatrist or psycholigist because clinical depression is due to a chemical imbalance and is unlikely to resolve itself without help, not saying necessarily she should take anti depressents but maybe therapy could help or something like cbd (some believe depression and anxiety can be caused by inflamation, which cbd could help with) or it could even be a vitamin d deficiency. try to get to the root of why she is possibly feeling depressed. talk to her about it and be patient.

Exactly what I said. Grow the fuck up. Risking your sexual health because your dick feels better is immature, so grow up.

be there for her, listen to her and never blame her for having depression

you're definitely worrying too much. it's totally nornal to have a crush and the catching feelings thing is a meme to everyone besides thottish men and women. i'd say get to know them, ask them out and see how it goes. if they're just looking to hook up, that will become apparent pretty quickly.

Omg you post the same fucking thing but worded differently in every single fucking thread. Fuck off.
NO ONE CARES.

Not at all. That's pretty good actually, especially for smaller women.

I personally don't. I haven't masturbated in about 9 months and have almost no sex drive at all. But I'm also 17 months post partum.

It means that she doesn't want anything to do with you anymore, but is being extremely self-protecting about it because you're too dumb to understand what she really means.

Are these stupid questions?
These are probably stupid questions...
Damn it.

I feel so dumb about this.

no, they're not. don't beat yourself up for asking a question that you need to be answered. dating is confusing, its ok.

Oh. I didn't see this post before.
Thanks.

If my bf goes on spa days without me often, he's got to be doing something sketchy, right?

Yes because what guy willingly goes to a spa?

what sort of spas?

pretty much all the massage places in my city provide handjob/blowjob services.

So i asked out a coworker and got rejected.

How do I turn my feelings off so we can just be work friends?

Just avoid her. She's already going to start avoiding you.
Focus on your work. Focus on being better than you were before. You're giving her power for no reason.

Are girls ok with dating someone 10+ years older than them?

I am, I think age gaps are hot depending on the person

He's probably gay and indulging in bath house culture

Hey girls would you text a guy every day and be #1 friends with him on Snapchat if you saw him as just a friend? This girl contacts me more than my best dude friends, and it’s a somewhat recent phenomenon.

Bumble profile question says
>My mother would describe me as... handsome
Girl messages
>Your mother would also describe me as handsome
is she a dude?
How do I respond? lol

I was talking to a female coworker about this last week and she though a 10 year gap was weird.

How do I stop being clingy?

I'm not very good with people. And while I'm not on the spectrum, I dont think many people would doubt me if I said I was. At 26 I got my very first boyfriend and we've been dating for almost a year. We see each other a lot, but it never feels enough to me. I always text him back immediately. He can take awhile sometimes and every single time my mind starts going a mile a minute thinking I said something wrong. I reread my text over and over to make sure it couldn't be misconstrued. I know its silly and I know he is probably busy, but i can't help it. I just want to know if there is a way to stop feeling like this?

@girls

how often do you go home with guys at clubs? ive been regularly going to clubs (lets say at least twice a month) for about 2 years and ive only convinced one girl. i approach a lot, often grinding and making out but rarely the full dance. what kind of thing decides it for you?

Girls,

If a guy invites you to dinner, what initial assumptions do you usually make about the bill? Without any additional context, do you assume he's going to pay for everything, or do you assume it's going to be 50/50?

>To girls

>How do I initiate sex with a girl?
I have never had a GF before. I'm not a virgin, although my first time was just sort of stroke of luck hookup. I've started seeing this girl. We've been on a few dates. Gone to a bars. Gone back to her apartment, kissed, cuddled, made out. I've grabbed her ass and tits, neck kissed her, etc.

I know I sound clueless, but do I literally just ask her if she wants to have sex? I know there's a more sexy and intimate way of posing the question. I guess I'm nervous about initiating because I have a lack of experience and am scared that she'll be a

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If its a first date, and you asked them out, you should absolutely pay. Doesnt mean they wont offer to split, most will out of common courtesy, but they likely expect you will pay anyway. As you should.

for support
for socialization
for protection

Going to a bar alone is desperation or depression.

>ask her
Fuck no. Nothing turns a girl off faster than being asked.

You simply continue to escalate. Take her shirt off, or tell her to take it off, or go for her belt or something. You can spend hours making out with a girl, and they'll do it happily, but if you don't move to take her shirt off then she won't do it either.

Sounds good, I usually pay 100% of the bill anyway.

I was just a little concerned because I noticed a few weird patterns with my last few dinner dates. The girl usually ordered a very basic entree, and wouldn't order any appetizers, drinks (not even a soda), or dessert. I wasn't sure if she was just being polite, or if she was worried that I wouldn't pay for her. I also don't want to brazenly state "It's okay, I'll pay for everything" because like you've said, the dude paying is the norm; it (probably) goes without saying.

>a way to stop feeling like this?

To grow up, basically. Most people experience their first love in their late teens and after that it's never quite as intense an emotion. There isn't much you can do to stop it except exercise some self control over your thoughts.

He's with you, not anyone else, so don't go around assuming he's ditching you just because he doesn't text back in under a minute. It's unhealthy AND it's unattractive to be placing him under that kind of pressure, even in your own mind.

You should absolutely not pay on a first date. That way if she isn’t worth your time or decides to be a fucking log, it’s no harm no foul.
You should also not expect your first date to be paid for in return.

It's the 21st century. It kinda helps to ask, because consent is a very important thing to have.

Probably don't want to come across like a hamplanet who eats a lot because it's fairly "unladylike" and is one of those things that girls think guys notice that we really don't give a shit about. As long as they aren't presently fat and can stay that way who cares what they eat.

wrong, dont pay for your date's dinner. Going on a date and paying will guarantee nothing. I have never paid for any of my past gf's dinners and they were fine with it.

You don't have to ask.

You just make your next move clear and you give her a chance to refuse.

Say you're sitting on the couch making out or whatever. You've been at it for a while and getting a handful, and then you decide it's time to escalate. You reach around and lift her shirt part way, but you do it slowly so she has a chance to stop you. After a certain point she's not going to stop you because she's tacitly agreeing, so you lift it all the way off.

You continue to do this all the way up until sex proper. Give plenty of opportunity for her to say no or tell you to cool it.

If I'm just beeing myself personality is masculine, yet innocent and sweet; this seems like a bad mix. Is there really girl for me?

My gf wants to go clubbing with her girlfriends. I don’t see the point in this since, in my clubbing experience, clubs only exist for the 80% of dudes there to hit on the remaining 20% of women. How do I express my concern to her without sounding insecure? I don’t see why she’d do this unless she just wants attention, and I am unfortunately the jealous type.

This is all true 100%. Keep going until she stops you. This principle extends beyond sex even.

The absolute state of modern "men"

>masculine, yet innocent and sweet
This is how most US soldiers act after they've been stationed in Japan.

If you're into Asian girls, this could work.

>my gf wants to go out with her friends to a highly common activity

The fuck is wrong with you? Even if your gf likes getting attention, she's still going to tell any creepy dudes to fuck off and then come home to you.

>tfw I kissed a girl by surprise and a day later she told me I was moving too fast
fug

>she's still going to tell any creepy dudes to fuck off and then come home to you.

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Extra emphasis on "men."

Welcome back, LitHit. Missed you, you fucking cunt-blaster.

>surprise
You see your issue, right?

Picking your moment for a kiss is important, but also important is making sure she's feeling the moment as much as you are by making her come the last little bit of the way.

You lean in for a kiss slowly, make eye contact with her a couple of times, and she will move toward you too if she wants it. Planting one on her before she sees it coming is a good way to get a slap.

The fact that she dumped me a week later is surprisingly nice of her.

Hitler please avoid weighing in on topics that are outside of your amish ideals about how people ought to spend their time.

Hi.

>Amish
Hardly. I'm not religious, nor is the concept of restraint a relic of centuries past that you'll only find among assorted Luddites.

Seriously, though, the level of fear and doubt people have, not around actually going to known hotbeds of degeneracy (i.e. sausagefest clubs), but around seeming "insecure" about a very rational worry, is just laughable. And then the coping naivety that you see with the cuckolds, like "she'll still come back to you at night" from the post I gave a frog.
Reminds me of that screencapped post (from twitter, I think, but who knows) where an actual cuck said something along the lines of "yeah, you might have done everything with my gf, and fathered her child, but if she's in my arms when she goes to sleep, who really wins? [smug emoji]". It's the same kind of ridiculous and delusional mindset, and it doesn't take a genius to point that out.

Now, if the question were "how do I enjoy myself when going out?", then you're right, I wouldn't have much idea of it (besides saying to avoid clubs in the first place), nor would I really bother addressing it.

Hitler was into some pretty freaky stuff. I mean the real Hitler; he loved pissing on women.

>he loved pissing on women.
I knew Drumpf was just like Hitler

It's a pretty good mix.
The only things I can see as negative are extreme points of those traits
>masculine to the point you become a macho, violent
>innocent to the point you become painfully naive and dumb
>sweet to everyone you meet, without saving it for people who mean something to you

Is she interested? I can never tell with this one. She sends paragraph text messages in reply to my short texts or more often than not out of the blue after like a month of 0 communication. When we hung out last she asked to go back to my apartment and even though her friend was with us she held my arm and leaned her head against my shoulder/cuddled me as we all watched a show. We've been out of contact for a month due to winter break and I saw the apology in the beginning as maybe a red flag. What do?

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Don't be the guy who tells his girlfriend that he doesn't want her to go out with her friends because he's jealous. The only thing you're going to get is to have her friends up your ass and if she ever expresses to them the desire to cheat or leave, they'll endorse it. You don't want to have her friends against you.
You come off as insecure by bringing this argument up because you ARE insecure.

You can tell her that your clubbing experience was mostly about a bunch of guys hitting on the few girls there, and it makes you a little uncomfortable. Don't ask her to not go (even if she asks you "do you want me not to go, say that it's not up to you to decide for her). Let her decide that on her own what she's going to do, knowing it makes you uncomfortable.
If you don't trust that your girlfriend won't cheat on you on a night out, maybe reconsider your relationship.

>what initial assumptions do you usually make about the bill?
I assume he's going to pay, but I'll offer to pay the whole bill, and then to split anyway. Normally, he'll refuse and say it's on him.

Just ask if steaight up if she is interested in what you want. Stop wasting time.

Can someone for the love of god please answer me what the fuck is even happening anymore. Long story short:
>Been with a 17y old girl for 6 Months now
>had to split, mostly because of parents, but she said that "she didn't wanted to hurt me anymore"
>Blocked me on the 15th (before my birthday)
>unbdlocked me on the 16th and sent me an emotional letter
>blocked me on the 18th again telling me, that I'll be regretting it to lose her
>unblocked me yesterday at 11pm, because she saw an instagram story of another girl, who was with me and a friend in a bar. They invited me because I was 24/7 at home devastated. I didn't drank anything, just played cards
>She told me yesterday that we have to meet at a spot on monday
>SHE BLOCKED ME AGAIN TODAY AND TOLD ME TO STAY AT HOME ON MONDAY

GUYS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I'M TURNING COMPLETLY CRAZY FOR FUCKS SAKE. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HER

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Stop dating 17 year olds. Teenagers are crazy emotional and out of their mind.

25 kissless virgin here.
If I do get the opportunity to hook up with a girl, how do I hide the fact that I have no experience?

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Well said,but always remember.There's an always a bright side from them to us.

Mainly girls, but guys are free to chime in.

I feel very angry at a close female friend of mine. She never really tries to understand what I'm feeling and it seems like she's really inconsiderate of other people's emotions. Yesterday, I kind of blew up a bit over this and asked her what she thought of me (because I do like her), and she gave me a really cold rejection.
Due to this rejection, I've just gotten really angry with her. I thought maybe it was just the rejection, but even after sleeping on it I still feel pissed.

I want to talk to her about it but
1) She did just reject me and I don't want to come off as just angry over the rejection
2) In some ways I feel like she did nothing wrong. She hangs out with me, we have fun, then she goes home. We've also only known each other for only a couple months.
3) I really do value her as a friend. I don't want to start a confrontation and end up losing her.

How can I resolve this?

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>How can I resolve this?
By doing nothing about it.

Sorry, dude here.

well i still do love her. She was my second ltg and it looked like it could last forever

What do you mean? I don't think it's just going to go away.

A good example: She doesn't like texting, but she loves talking to people in person. However she never explained this to me, so when she excitedly gave me her number and told me thank you for talking to her and then proceeded to barely text me at all, I thought she hated me.

Dude, you're kids.
Your "LTG" lasted very little, and it looked like it could last forever because you're kid.
Sucks, but get over it.

Being angry about rejection will not cause acceptance. Maintain the relationship that you have and things will grow(one way or another.) Some people aren't text people.

Like I said, I'm not really pissed at her for rejecting me. It just kind of ripped the bandaid off what I was already feeling, frustration.
She also has this habit of ignoring you if she didn't understand what you said. You could be in the middle of a deep conversation that suddenly stops because she didn't hear something you said.

>She's already going to start avoiding you.
Not always true. A coworker that rejected me kept looking for me at work and hanging out with me. Just act as if nothing happened because nothing really did.

Yes. Like I said. Being pissed is the opposite direction of your goal. I'm not so young. She sounds like a lot of chicks. They pretty much fall into the same category after a while. Don't be mad. Good luck bro.

Chicks dig a guy with talent, or so I've been told.

How do you girls feel about the following:
>the ability to speak multiple languages, but none of the romance languages (ie. not French/Italian/Spanish/Portuguese)
>the ability to play uncommon instruments (ie. not guitar/piano/drums, but something unusual like the accordion, marimba, ukulele, etc.)
>good at non-mainstream sports (ie. not baseball/basketball/football/hockey, but something like jai alai, water polo, etc.)
Do they look like tryhards?

Yeah so far she is not avoiding me.

We don't talk on snapchat as much as before though. Really that is all that has changed.

Dont look for other peoples' approval and youll land a good gf.
She might've lost comfort but it may come back if you act chill.

Look man... first of all, it’s not really fair to be mad at friends for their personality traits. Sure, you can be annoyed or dislike those qualities, but at the end of the day, you have no agency over them, they are their own people, and you are the one choosing to interact with them.

If it bugs you that much, just don’t have much to do with them. Never keep around people who you with bring you more net negativity or harm than positivity in your life.

You can try to talk it out, but they are not here to be better friends for you, they are here to live their own lives. This is especially true when this is someone you barely know to begin with.

At the end of the day you have to learn to gotta accept and measure people as a whole, not just in bits and parts. Once you have a measure of them, that’s when you give them a corresponding and appropriate level of importance in your life. You can’t change others, but you *can* change the way you interact with them.

Second, if this is really annoying you this much, then why do you like her for a relationship ? This is all a part of her personality, and if you can’t deal now, then you absolutely couldn’t in a relationship either. Things don’t magically change just because you get together.

I had a best friend where basically I had a similar problem with her, where she could be very cold and selfish at times, but I didn’t care because her other qualities made her cool to hang out with,

At one point however, she was interested in trying for something more and I had to immediately shoot that down because I already knew, the shit i could stand as best friend, I absolutely would not be able to put up with in a girlfriend.. Having matching communication tendencies and skills is fundamentally important—perhaps *the* most important thing—to being able to have a relationship that lasts for any significant amount of time; and we just did not share that.