I recently had a nasty breakup, found out she moved on very quickly while we were supposed to take time to think about our future. I cut off with her and I want to send her a last letter even though I’m quite bitter and sorry.
I don’t know the tone I should get, I don’t want to appear pathetic nor arrogant. Anyone has ever went through that ? How were your «last» letter/text/call ? Any advice ? I will send it with her stuff and everything she gave me.
Am I doing it right ?
>I don’t want to appear pathetic nor arrogant
So don’t write the letter. You don’t need this final “gotcha!” in order to move on
Honestly the best thing is never contact her again. A letter let's her know you're thinking of her, which pleases her no matter the context.
She'll feel more shitty if she thinks that she never crosses your mind.
>we were supposed to take time to think about our future
You fell for it buddy, sorry to tell you, and no amount of letter writing will change anything.
Girls have a much deeper need to be wanted than men do. This is usually expressed in their desire to be in a relationship. It's something they place a lot of value on.
So, when you're with a girl and things go south, she's suddenly without the thing which fulfills her primal need to be wanted, and they go looking for a replacement immediately.
Almost invariably girls will jump on the next dick way sooner than you'd have thought. It's probably some guy she had on her backburner for a while. It's just how girls operate.
In another 6ish months, regardless of whether she's still with the new guy or not, she'll start to slow down and realise that she never processed the breakup with you and those emotions will come back to fuck her up. This is the guilt phase, where the hurt they are finally feeling over the break up (dulled because it was a long time ago, after all) is translated into guilt over jumping on the next dick so quickly. Sometimes the guilt is because they feel easy or like a slut for having just gone out with the next guy in line, other times the guilt is because they know they ruined a good thing and replaced it with an insufficient band aid.
>I don't want to appear pathetic
Writing some letter to her will invariably appear pathetic. Your best play is to do nothing about it. Nothing hurts a girl more than you not caring. Keep your cool, give her back her stuff, be polite but not friendly, and leave without getting drawn into it.
Do not write a letter. 100% no.
Mail her shit and be done with that chapter of your life.
Smart user...
Quick story:
Ex wife and I were friends after divorce cause whatever.
Once she realized I didn’t give a fuck about her anymore she freaked out and I had to block her number and change jobs.
Women require male validation to fuel their happiness.
(spot on thanks)
Thanks for the quality contributions mates, somehow I knew it but the pain made me want to.
I have two more questions about this, should I send all the stuff she got me over our relationship as well (post cards, gifts, notes and so on) or keep them and get rid of them by myself ?
I also wrote her a letter before it went south that could have saved the relationship (honestly, I’m not fooling myself here), I should keep it too ?
I must add that I know it’s over, I’m just still processing it and I’m not looking forward saving anything, just enough to write a letter, which I won’t for sure now.
Just stop writing letters user. The 1900s are over and there is no world where giving a girl a heart felt letter has ever fixed anything. All you can do now is save your dignity by keeping your mouth shut and burning any thought of trying to write a letter to her.
Throw away the keepsakes or keep them to yourself, but don't send them to her. It looks bitter, and the objective here is to look as disinterested as you possibly can, because that's the only way you get out of this without becoming some funny story she tells about an idiot who was hopelessly in love with her.
Thanks user, somehow I want her to feel shit like I do now. Cutting off all contact would be the only chance I get ? Or’maybe It’s bad to think that