Why the fuck is this so hard

Not OP, but most girls I meet put off this vibe of being emotionally unavailable and uninterested in me. I make conversations and if they act really aloof, uninterested, playing with their phone etc. I just give up

I can't say it's gone in my favor much to only go after girls who act more interested in me as a person, and try to hang out, since I'm still single...but yeah.

it's not.

at all.

next question?

It's easy to get a girlfriend. It's however much harder to find a girlfriend you actually like. That's the difference.

I’m not a pussy. Ive asked out every girl under the sun, and have no idea where I’m going wrong.
I need to hire a life coach or something to follow me and pinpoint where I lose it. Or something to get this hex off because it’s frustrating as fuck.

I’ll take it if I’m ugly or broke, but I’m 100% not a coward.

Well, i had my first everything when i was 28 (still 28 btw). Although granted now that i know i missed at least 2 chances to have a gf just based on cluelessness back in my day.

And after a while your chances are lower and lower. It sort of turns into a downward sprial where it takes conscience effort to turn things around. Not something i started doing until very recently. And most people dont do character altering actions after they get past their formative years. I for one still dont know actually how to turn a friend/acquaintance in to a gf. I had to pay for my experiences with ladies.

I have no problem talking to girls in my daily life. Am not a raging incel or anything, i understand it starts an ends with me. The confidence meme is a real thing, i am just confident in the wrong things for example.

The above was an attempt of explanation of how a guy can get into the OP situation. And as a quite short (5'3") and a bit chubby guy, it is not like girls throw themselves at me. It is ok tough, i am making my gains and will recover.

Just please try to be understanding of people who are hurting about this, they are just worn about by feeling they are missing out and kept being reminded of that. And it makes things worse...

How's the chemistry when you meet women? Do you feel reasonably confident? Does she give you the impression that she is emotionally available *and* willing to date you?

If you're just asking out girls you hardly know, it's typically unlikely they'll say yes unless you're very conventionally attractive. And even then, having them come out with you just means your foot is in the door, and not much else. Take it from someone who has been on several first dates that haven't amounted to any relationship.

Without knowing you and being by your side, I can't say much. A lot effects anyone's fate and if/when they end up with another person. Demographics, chemistry, attraction, timing, and only the first one is really in your control.

Build a relationship with them first. Unless you're a child most people don't just ask them out and immediately start dating. Yes it's good to have confidence but they're not going to date you if you're a complete stranger

>where guys started to act like fat girls and tried to blame muh genes
The manlet meme is ancient and even predates Jow Forums entirely.

>And most people dont do character altering actions after they get past their formative years. I for one still dont know actually how to turn a friend/acquaintance in to a gf. I had to pay for my experiences with ladies.

Your "formative" years end when you end them. I changed more in my 20s than I did in my teen years. Also no one knows immediately how to talk to girls and turn friends into girlfriends and all of that. it's something that everyone has to learn.

As long as you're not an incel, as long as you're keeping positive and are making changes to yourself and getting out of your comfort zone, I'm not gonna judge you for anything - you're doing all the right things.

Latinos are no taller than 5'6 and they fuck like crazy.

Because you aren’t tall. If you were tall any girl you like would be available to you, you can say anything you want to them, you could even insult them to their face and they will love you.

You don't turn a friend into a gf. Or rather, it's not something you force. You face potential rejection by asking them out or telling them you like them as more than a friend. They either reciprocate or not.

There are studies that have shown across the world, across cultures and across time, that there has been one 'preference' all women everywhere shared when it comes to a male mate. Height.

Well technically i was an incel. Now i know that can be just paid away, and if done is not an experience that you will regret. I certainly don't regret mine.

The issue is yes, nobody knows from the get go how to do that. But some people just get the awkward first times over with at a younger age through chance, confidence or by circumstance. I didn't, i understand it is noboodies fault tough.

But dont you even in your adult life where you dont attempt a new thing just because of jitters? Or never learned one common skill like driving cause you lived in are where you always went to the places with the subway. Suddenly you realise everybody else knows how to drive a car and you dont.

Just want to provide perspective a bit from a very late commer into the field.

Lol, the tall attractiveness is a meme. It's everything on the face. I'm 6'3" with a face the likes of Paris hasn't seen since Quasimodo.

What are you doing to "get a girlfriend"? Have you started going to places to meet people? Use a hobby you have. Use a shared set of beliefs or religion. Go see people you haven't seen in years. Check up on people you only know on Facebook. Someone out there is the One. You just gotta put in the effort.

So now imagine yourself like you are and then another version of yourself that is exactly the same just two heads smaller.

Which one has the better chances?
Yeah... thought so.

>But dont you even in your adult life where you dont attempt a new thing just because of jitters? Or never learned one common skill like driving cause you lived in are where you always went to the places with the subway. Suddenly you realise everybody else knows how to drive a car and you dont.

One thing I learned as an adult, I wish I had learned 10-5 years earlier, is that you should never compare yourself to other people.

If you compare yourself to people who have way better lives you'll be like "well I'll never be like them so what's the point in trying".
If you compare yourself to people whose lives are worse off than yours you'll be like "haha that guy's a loser he's way worse off than me I guess my life isn't so bad after all" and also not go anywhere with that attitude.

But yes, every new thing and milestones in life that I have to cross are always a test of my nerves. You just have to move forward though. Don't look backwards or to either sides, just look ahead.

Maybe our definitions of friend are different. I of course dont mean asking a girl you went to high school with for 3 years out just because you are lonely.

But it seems like an incredibly common idea that if you want to have a romantic relationship with somebody it has to be done in a progressing non stopping fashion. You dont go out to cinema doing nothing every few weeks and talk to them like one of your guy friends and then get into a romantic relationship? ( yes this happens too but a rarity compared to just meeting with somebody, chatting up for a bit and progressing into a romantic relationship skipping the friend part)

You've convinced yourself you need it and a lot of people you'll encounter in typical scenarios do not want that level of pressure, nor do they need to not be single that badly, because they know that dating just to date would be awful.

It's not just "getting along" with a person, it takes a lot more to make a relationship worth having in the first place. And that's the whole issue here, you're seeing a relationship as a separate entity with its own characteristics when really it's the sum of its parts...
And unfortunately, nobody wants to be the summation of themselves and a person who would date anyone under the sun.

People die, get sick, change. You can't rely on them to substantiate so much of your existence. It's just going to drive you absolutely insane and you'll never achieve a level of comfort in life.

Male overpopulation due to uncontroled immigration.

India has problem with male overpopulation so does China. Since there are no wars where low genetic material go to die they are left with something like this. Now Western Civilization such as Europe or America has bigger problem due to male proactiveness the lesser males from third world countries seek brides in those countries. The politcians are freely letting them in and white women are accepting this because white men are passive weak cuckolds. Such is life such life will continue. Let the best of the best win.

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>uncontroled immigration.
>India has problem with male overpopulation so does China.

China and India has dick all to do with immigration what bullshit are you on, they spent 60 years tossing their female babies into the river because that was their culture and now whoops 60 years later there aren't that many girl.

Because most men lie about what they want. They say they are fine with an ugly, retarded girlfriend but when they meet a girl like that they either don't acknowledge they exist or they do date them but eventually realize their life is suddenly a living hell.

Never said India or China has problem with uncontroled immigration. Learn to read.

For me, it's because I'm ugly and have a monk-like personality. A monk-like personality is what ascetic monks seek to be like, which for some people comes naturally, and it's the biggest turn off for women.

>Hatfield et al. (1993) identified the traits of the dull personality type, including:
>Passivity - Dull people aren't really there, they just exist.
>Tediousness - Dull people use a boring communication style including slow talking, long pauses before responses and rambling.
>Distracting behavior - Dull people are side-tracked easily.
>Low affectivity - Dull people rarely look others in the eye, have expressionless faces and talk in a monotonous fashion.
>Boring ingratiation - Dull people try too hard to be funny, to be nice or to impress others.
>Seriousness - Dull people never smile and appear somber or cold.
>Self-centeredness - Dull people are preoccupied with themselves, with the past or with personal problems.
>Banality - Dull people talk about trivial or superficial things, are interested in only one topic, and repeat the same stories or jokes again and again.

Think Mr. Data from Star Trek. I don't fit the whole bill, but I have some of the worst traits, and that is extremely low affectivity. I don't get excited over anything. You know how a sports fan jumps and screams when his team wins? I never experienced anything like that. Women dry up next to men like that, while ironically, it's exactly what is expected of Christian monks. My face is always stoic cold, without any expressions, and I tend to feel the same, I just sort of exist, I'm a passive observer, an NPC, my personality does not allow me to have an active role in this life.

What women want is an actor (as in one who acts, a man of action, not the entertainer), someone who interacts with the world, who experiences both positive and negative emotions, someone's who's full of joy one day and full of rage the next day. Me? I'm just emotionally dead, no joy, no anger, no passion.

I get what you're saying. I don't believe in the friendzone necessarily or the idea that a woman who's a friend can never be more. I've on three occasions turned really good friends into girlfriends, and even more have expressed interest. I also absolutely think a solid friendship is a great foundation for a romantic partnership.

But all I'm saying is, there's no magic way to go about it. You meet someone, you get to know each other and enjoy your company and time together as friends. If in that time you spend with them you notice feelings growing, your only option if you want more is to ask for it. Sorry, it's just when you said "you don't know how to turn a friend into a girlfriend" I thought maybe you thought there was some magic trick. There's not. When you hear others talk about a relationship that started as a friendship, there was almost always some underlying attraction from the outset. And though it pains me to say it, attraction is not a choice. Ergo, there's no trick or technique to make someone like you as more than a friend - they feel that in response to your own self, and how somebody responds to you is not really under your control, especially not if they've known you a long time as a friend.

Thatt is a bit hard as you know, even coming to this board is a reminder of me being single. Every other thread is a relationship advice , or how do i get over my ex thread.

Even the tinder advice threads are a reminder that i only got two matches even after weeks of swiping. (Granted my photos are shit but still)

I am still doing stuff for me, trying not to compare myself with everybody else. But there is obviously sth wrong here and i need some outside kick to fix stuff. For example fixing dating app bios, or just how to be more courteous for example. Making gains as i said before..

>They say they are fine with an ugly, retarded girlfriend but when they meet a girl like that they either don't acknowledge they exist or they do date them but eventually realize their life is suddenly a living hell.

Who said men are fine with ugly and retarded woman? Most men will settle for low grade girls yes but what is much is too much. There is threshold what man can fuck.

So you decided to bring up that completely unrelated example of China in India, sandwiched between your rant about uncontrolled immigration, why?

What i was trying to tell with china and india is that they have problem with male overpopulation and that those two countries and the biggest immigrants to western countries.

are* the biggest

Your post is a slap to my face

>those two countries and the biggest immigrants to western countries

That's not true. Certainly not where I live in a Western country.

Oh i understand there is no perfume or sth that will make somebody fall for me like magic.

But 3 gf s from friends? And many interested more parties? I can only think you and i are very different on personality and/or looks. Maybe you were oblivious they were your friends because you had an attractive personslity/looks. This is how different our perspectives are on this. I didnt have even one experience like what you told me in my life, believing it happened several time feels absurd.

Not accusing you of lieing by the way. This was my genuine initial thoughts from your post. Curiosity and doubt instead of anger and resentment, like how does that happen lol?

It's very obviously bait to get aspies to reply.

If you live in America then you will see lots of mexicans and blacks. If you are Canadian lots of chinese. If European lots of indians and arabs.

I'm Canadian and our biggest immigration population came from the Philippines.

If you look at the UN's officialy figures un.org/en/development/desa/population/migration/publications/migrationreport/docs/MigrationReport2017_Highlights.pdf , page 18 you're welcome, you'll see that so obviously China and Indian are up there given how they're the two most populated countries in the world but as far as migrants go Russia and Mexico are ahead of China.

And now is the part where I realize that people are trying to blame global geo-political movements for why they don't have a gf.

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Honestly, it's not all it's made out to be.

The first one "broke" me for many years. Horrible relationship, and we were no good for each other. We wanted so badly for it to work, it just didn't. The second one was far less emotionally intense, but kinda just fizzled out. The third happened last year, and I'll be honest I kind of miss it. When we were on, conversations just flowed organically and smoothly. We got along so well, and it really felt like she kept up with me intellectually, which is rare. It didn't work because she was depressed and pushed me away, and I started to feel anxious and a bit needy as a result.

As far as how it happened etc. well we pretty much just talked a lot like normal but grew closer emotionally. It sounds simple, but a lot of that happens when there is chemistry and mutual attraction present. If someone doesn't find you attractive, it's not going to go in that direction. But for the record, I'm 5' 5" tall and very thin. The women I was with were not models, but they weren't ugly to me by any means (the first one was actually really cute, shame it didn't work out so hot right).
.

What I will say is that the confidence thing holds true, like it's absolutely a big enough deal that it can make or break a relationship. You shouldn't be afraid to show interest and try to escalate physically and emotionally. You should be comfortable with who you are as a person, because then you're fun and interesting to talk to, and maybe even funny/witty. It took me a while to realize why some women liked me. The first one said I was really handsome and had an "amazing personality". The second thought I was just cute and fun. The third told me I was a really good person, and also attractive. But like, there's probably been other women who think I'm asshole. Like I said, it's not really up to you what others think of you. Just do your best and keep improving.

>And now is the part where I realize that people are trying to blame global geo-political movements for why they don't have a gf.

Radicalization of males happen when they are left with no one to fight for. So they fight for their own people or Country (Whatever will give them feeling of belonging). The more incels will there be the higher chance to see new nazi Reich in Europe or America or both. Fascism is slow and hidden but when it will erupt it will be too late anyway.

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Incels are zoomer cowards that hide behind keyboards and game controllers. They're not gonna help fascism rise anywhere other than on fortnite servers.

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I think the pendulum is already swinging toward the right, how far it will swing, we will see

Glad to hear that you had experiences where you actually learned from, even speak fondly about some of them.

But i just think we are from two different worlds at this situation. Nobody except for my mom told me i was handome, i was only told cute in a sisterly way by a girl. And i certainly wasnt told i was attractive that i can remember.

I dont mean to sound like a raging incel as i said before. Since i will keep working out and trying to get into better shape. Try to improve what i can personality wise too. But you gotta see how these girls apparently were always interested in you as a potential romantic partner at least.

I never had that in my life, lol the escorts i hired told me i was very kind and very polite after the fact. So i am most likely not an asshole to a lot of people.

But at this point i dont even know what i dont know about all this..

Same thing were saing antifascist in germany when they randomly were beating supporters of hitlers nsdap. Overnight those weak coward "incels" stormed every house of antifa and hanged them.

Probably true, but they will hopefully do some voting.

incels and the internet as well as internet culture didn't exist in the 1940s. The only "war" happening in our lives is fat neckbeards and fat feminists angrily tweeting at each other.

Because convincing people to like you is hard and so convincing girls to love you is near impossible. Notice all the people with gfs have been spitting game since they were very young.

maybe. maybe not. Well see.

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>always interested in you as a romantic partner
Eh, they weren't always.

One of them came onto me pretty strong pretty much right away. But the second one was pining after another dude, until she realized he was an ass and also had his own gf - then she gave me a real shot and put in effort herself (I know how unheard of this is, it's the only time it's really happened for me too).

The last one, we dated in HS then broke it off because of stupid drama. Came back together years later and tried to make it work, but couldn't. In between our time apart and with little contact, she was seeing other people, as was I.

I got rejected a lot over the past years too. I'm not some huge player. Women in general find me funny, kind, easy to talk to, but not all of them want to date me. If it means anything, this other woman I'm friends with and I went out a couple of times and I really like her now, but I'm almost certain she doesn't like me back. As I said above, you have to risk rejection by making feelings known. For the few times it's worked out for me, there's been countless others where it didn't, and that's going to be the same situation for just about everyone.

I met those lady friends through common interests. Commonalities are a little overrated, but it's a good place to start to meet women you may like and hit it off with.

I agree that the internet prevents a similar situation happening again, but there seems to be strong moves by corporations and some social groups to deplatform and remove these people from the internet competely.

Sure but that's not gonna do anything really.

cuckinstanis like to think that they were the ones who summoned Trump into existence but he won only because Democrats shot themselves in the foot by cucking Bernie who would have won, and instead giving the nomination to Hillary who is literally unelectable. Most people voted for Trump because he seemed like he would change things.

The worst part about Trump is that he's not this big evil nazi retard fascist monster that both his critics and supporters were saying he was gonna be. Barely anything changed since Obama or even Bush, he's just another politician.

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Jews in germany when hitler had his movement going and wasnt in power they seized his possesions, silenced him as much as they could and even tried to assasinate his character. History is repeating itself and they are so blind to see it.

>Notice all the people with gfs have been spitting game since they were very young.
lol. Absolutely not. In fact, "Game" is almost a comical concept when you realize that our ancient ancestors had no language with words to communicate and build attraction, and neither do any animals besides us. It has a lot more to do with body language, and how things are said or done, not just talking like you're cool when you're not.

Deagel.com

Such a reliable primary source of information

>there seems to be strong moves by corporations and some social groups to deplatform and remove these people from the internet competely.

There really isn't. These people are in literally every comments section and message board in existence.

Stop spending so much time on r9k. People have been talking shit about their robot uprising for at least 5 years now and they've only gotten fatter and dumber and more complacent with their waifu pillows and anime titty games.

Or elected Donald Turmp.

>Such a reliable primary source of information

They use sources from FBI and various other agencies. The site is legit.

>barely anything has changed
>except the nearly month long government shutdown and subsequent furlough and nigh unemployment status of hundreds of thousands of people

I'm 34 and still a virgin.

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>>except the nearly month long government shutdown and subsequent furlough and nigh unemployment status of hundreds of thousands of people

What else is new? The American government shuts itself down every few years and there's always uneployment

Nigger you hit your prime when you’re 30 there’s no downward spiral until late 40s.
You’re not a woman.

They also said that the 2007 financial crisis was going to spin out of control and that Ebola was going to kill everyone as well. They're a bunch of amateurs with no qualifications to be making estimates like that and having people like you believe those to be true.

Trump is just another politician. He's hardly the Literal Nazi or Epic Kek that either the far-right or far-left think he is.

Federal government shuts down every few months even before Trump was elected. And this is the longest shutdown in US history -- that's also predicted to leave economic scars for years to come.

It literally doesn't though.

Are you retarded?

>They also said that the 2007 financial crisis was going to spin out of control and that Ebola was going to kill everyone as well. They're a bunch of amateurs with no qualifications to be making estimates like that and having people like you believe those to be true.

Source to this claim sir.

So 2 of them came on to you by your words. And the third you dated previously, i am sorry user but they were never just your friends. You are mistaken and shouldnt say you made gf s out of friends.

And even the one you like now, you actually went out a couple times. Come on now really? Even when you try to show the bad sides of your situation, i can only see how different we are, how we come from different places.

My intention is not to sound angry far from it, but do understand how different we are. No girl showed open interest to me in my life, EVER.

My interests or work dont put me in situations where i can meet women. I wouldnt even describe myself by that attractive words to be honest. I am a shy and timid guy until i get to know somebody better. Then i can become the clever sarcastic guy who makes jokes and enthusiastic about stuff like i am with friends. These however don't seem to translate well when your intentions are romantic partnership and initial encounters matter, alot..

>Resulting to ad hominems

Nothing new.

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Its funny that no dubs for the replies, all singles.

To me friends are people you spend time with and get to know, because you enjoy each other's company. The only difference between a friend and a girlfriend for me is that a girlfriend is a good friend I get to have sex with.

Trust me when I say it's not that great. I get anxious and insecure over whether girls like me, I get really sad when some of them shoot me down. I'm no stranger to the feelings.

What are your interests and hobbies?
>shy and timid
I can be to an extent, but if it's seriously impacting your life, just casually talk to people while out and about. That's how I got over my shyness.

>clever sarcastic guy who makes joke and is enthusiastic
So, I see no reason you shouldn't have a girlfriend. Lots of girls would go for that. But you gotta get outta your head and at least try. I know how it is, because I've been where you are.

>initial encounters matter a lot
They do, but I don't think it's in the sense of "I have to try really hard to bet this amazing person so everyone likes me". Be yourself. Meme advice I know, but play to your strengths and put them out there when you're with people. Not everyone will like you, but there's plenty that probably will.

>Government shutdowns: 1980 1981, 1984, 1986 1990 1995–1996 2013 Jan 2018 2018–2019

deagel.com/country/forecast.aspx
Scroll to the bottom, you can read the part of them talking about Ebola and shit if you want but
>Sorry to disappoint many of you with our forecast. It is getting worse and worse every year since the beginning of the pre-crisis in 2007. It is already said that this website is non-profit, built on spare time and we provide our information and services AS IS without further explanations and/or guarantees. We are not linked to any government in any way, shape or form. We are not a death or satanic cult or arms dealers as some BS is floating around the internet on this topic. Take into account that the forecast is nothing more than a model whether flawed or correct. It is not God's word or a magic device that allows to foresee the future.

It's a COMMERCIAL website whose purpose is to catalog and showcase fighter jets and shit. They don't know anything about predicting populations.

>less than a dozen
>"every few years"
wew lad

Ebola is still not over. Their forecast is right. Even with special teams to tackle ebola in Europe, America or Africa it's still there. It still continues. The pandemic is very real and still is going on. Any forecast will go wrong but sooner or latter this will happen. They are right in every sentence they write.

>Their forecast is right
>They are right in every sentence they write.

Okay great, the website about choochoo trains and the guy who posts on the anonymous website for vietnamese sunday strip cartoons are both in agreement that 200+ million people are going to vanish from the USA in 6 years.

How fortunate of you to be an expert on the topic as well.

only 100 milion. Learn to read. Also those numbers arent even final it could be much worse.

Sure there was a dry run between 96 and 2013 but still you had a shutdown every few years starting in 1980.

I wasn't saying that the government shut down every few years since 1776 or 1812 or 1492 or whatever

You don't think it's weird that this bullshit literally exists only on that website and not anywhere else? You say and they say that they use official sources, but none of the sources ever claim that 4 times the population of Australia is going to suddenly vanish overnight from the US.

You don't think that's a little weird? it's just, nope they're right and you're right because you like what they said? Come on dude.

That would be lower than my bar for what i call a friend. A friend is someone i find reliable and can trust with serious stuff.

>i get anxious and insecure over whether girls like me...
Well i got that over on you i guess, thats sth i rarely have to worry about.

My interests are tabletop miniature games and of their international events where i go to a different country every few months (99% male enthusiasts). Also political theory, i know both are panty droppers.

My day to day life has literally 0 problems of me interacting with people. I can be polite and talkative with waiters or cab drivers, can no problem talk with entire strangers on bus stops if it comes to it. I dont hsve crippling anxiety or even any other psychological issues that effect my life, nothing serious at least that i know.

I dont think you have been where i am user, it has been my entire point here (not intending to disrespect). I have no idea how to nor have ever turned an acquaintance/friend/coworker/somebody random to a romantic partner or even a potential one. It just isnt a thing that happens in my life.

The be yourself meme i understand is a thing, but it is also bullshit and you know it. Once you have some qualities you dont want, you dont be yourself eith them included. You change those and improvr them. I am doing that right now for example. But the organic stuff that comes to other people doesnt come to thr same way. Granted i know some stuff that comes to me organically wont come to other people as well. Everybody is different..

>You don't think that's a little weird? it's just, nope they're right and you're right because you like what they said? Come on dude.

Exactly. It's weird. Of course FBI or any other agency will never EVER show forecast like this to not alarm general population but there are sites like this. Broken glass. Which will alarm the smart and cunning to prepare themselves for such radical change. Take their words as fake i will not.

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lol you probably think ghosts are real too. Come back in literally 6 years so I can laugh at you.

Addendum here i forgot. I am shy and timid with new socisl circles and specially with girls, cause i never got past that silly middle school phase in my head.

I hope i will come back in 6 years and i will really love your laugh. I really do.

>the incel who can't get a girlfriend because he read on one website that the world was going to end in 6 years

>>the incel who can't get a girlfriend because he read on one website that the world was going to end in 6 years

World wont end because some Americans will die. You are very mistaken. Very arrogant post.

>some

a third of its population in not even 6 years

Hey i am this user. But have to go cause eurofag. Although i think we are coming to this from different perspectives user, i enjoyed the convo. Contact me on kik if you have it

Kik: pgtfg

Because introverts and ugly people exist.

Bump

it's not you just have to lower your standards and be willing to date fatties and uggos

why are tripfags just the worst

Cause they are attention whores. Anathema to the idea of anonymity, they try to have recognition for their deeds in a place like reddit, while keeping the open conversation you can only have in a place like Jow Forums. But you cant have your cake and eat it too, so they destroy both in the process, leaving the thread with only their vanity and their ego.

well said