Tried to kill myself at the range

>tried to kill myself at the range
>got tackled and banned
>not before I get a black eye and they say they'll do worse and have me committed if I ever go to another range
There's nothing to believe in in this world. I just dont know. I want better life but no lives are even vaguely appealing to me

I have no fond memories of youth or young adult hood. I miserably got a worthless shit degree that I hated the entire time I was getting it and didn't learn the subject anyway .

I'm a Virgin not because girls don't like me or whatever but I've genuinely never met a girl I even vaguely want to pursue, i do know that I am straight. Sex is such a low priority for me which has alienated me further. I just don't understand why I'm here. I can't find things to want no alternatives are appealing but I'm still miserable . I don't know if souls exist but maybe I am the type who should have died in a war at 18. I feel like I hit level cap in a online video game and there's nothing left but to stand around.
I don't drink and don't do drugs. I don't even drink coffee.

Attached: ayyshin_0.jpg (184x184, 14K)

Sounds like you've got a problem on your hands. Why don't you join the army and do something worthwhile with your life?

Why is that worthwhile

How the fuck do you fail at that? Shoot a bit. Take gun in mouth, aim up. Done. Did you make a Dramatic good bye scene?!

I thought I was fast but I guess some guy thought I had that look. I was probably obvious.a round do go off. But in the air

It's fun, active, dangerous, combative. Everything a man needs.

OP can you tell us more about yourself?

I can't support the politics involved

So you love war user?

Like what

Where he lives?
What he wants or something

It's a gun. You die or lose your face. There is no fucking try.

This thread is fake and gay.

I live in America
I don't know interests or wants . It's a shotgun of nonspecialization.
I like writing ? I like music? I like reading? I'm trying to see if I like programming which I haven't really enjoyed for the several years I've tried . I like language and learning them but i have not done actively done so for all of my life. I'm a pretty boring with very average human likes.
I don't really want anything. Maybe at least a part time job so I can afford to live with my brother but the thought of doing that my entire life depresses me but there's no greater career I can do and working full time would also depress me anyway. I'm just lazy and shitty

It doesn't matter, the activities and being a part of something will do you good.

I wouldn't know. My hippie parents convinced me as a youth not to join up. My step dad went to 'Nam and my dad was drafted, did bootcamp, then dodged before being shipped. Said they'd disown me if I ever joined the military. Instead I wrestled in HS and later got into MMA (just training, no organized fights or anything). Can't speak to war itself, but I probably would've loved the military. And I'll add that winning a fist fight is by far the most rewarding experience I've had. Better than sex.

OP made the same thread yesterday. He just wants attention.

What politics
Who cares
Just go fight somewhere or turn wrenches on a jeep

I am not seeking attention my last thread died and nobody really talked to me...

>got about the same number of replies
>same bs gun range story
>thread not even 12 hours dead before you made this one
yeah you’re just an attentionwhore. get some therapy, because we can’t help you here.

can't afford therapy and don't trust it

I don't understand what's so unbelievable

Do this thing
Do this thing instead
Idk do this thing

How do you expect anyone to help if you don’t commit to anything? You said you like music and books, then move in with your brother and get a full time job and start studying music and books in your free time. That should give you a certain amount of accomplishment.
But let me guess you’re just gonna say the idea of that depresses you are something.

>nobody really talked
I talked to you mutherfucker.
You cannot recognize truth or this user is a political genius. I pick the first.

OP user, your death is a pain in the ass for others. Don't be shellfish. It ain't about "me" its about "we."

I remember you postin about planning suicide a few weeks ago.
Told you it was stupid and you were going to get caught.

I hope you can find help.

Yes, people (men) should fight with their fists more. Unironically. There will be fewer corpses and fewer pussies, and men will generally stop being such annoying windbags like the “Alpha Male” Donald Trump.
And yes, winning a fist fight, or even just getting in a coupla good blows, is very satisfying.

Sounds like you’re experiencing depression. Get therapy. It will help. Been there. It gets better, but the only way out is through. If you have the balls to kill yourself, you have the balls to get better.

The Zombie Apocalypse is on the way. Shit is gonna get REAL. Life will be simplified again. All the stresses and strains and doubts pulling at us from every direction will be GONE. We will be FORCED back to the basics - FIGHT or FLIGHT. Till then, seek help.

Dude. You can join up as late as 39yo and possibly join as an officer with your education if you are older.

If you have no plans for your body, donate to a cause. Talk to a recruiter. Just walk right in.

Then just shoot up your squad and then kill yourself. All I am reading are excuses.

I can't support the politics involved in shooting your self with a rented gun. What a dick move.

Join up!

Stop pretending those are my responses. And I can't move in with him if I don't have a job. And I know for a fact I'll never be good at those things .
That sounds like an awful hollow life
Ok? I can't do that in good conscience . Otherwise I'd be a full time academic

The only suggestions are join the army or die. .

>hollow life
Yes motherfucker. There is no point to anything. Congratulations on figuring that shit out. You make you own point. It can be as simple as watching tv or you can go and be the next Jesus. Killing yourselves don't hurt you. It hurts every one else. I don't care how dicky your family is. They don't deserve that shit. Also there are plenty of nice guys who like to go to the range. They don't deserve that either. I enjoy having you around. I have a brain tumor that I've been trying to survive for 9 years. I need you motherfucker. I need everybody I can get.

You're psyching yourself out, you might as well TRY moving in with your brother and pursuing your hobbies. suicide is permanent, if you die, there's no round two, so you might as well give it a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. don't go into it with the mindset that you will never succeed. i know it's hard right now with the mindset you're in, i've been suicidal, i know where youre coming from and it's hard to crawl out of the hole you've dug yourself, but you really do have options here

I have no talent at anything

>keep trying to learn to program
>it never clicks
>for five fucking years
>cs major

It's not fair. It's not fucking fair. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not even doing this for a job I don't care about the development job. I just wanted to learn for me I wanted to make something and I can't muster fucking anything

There's nothing I'm good at. And starting anything new now I'd never be as good as I'd want at it.

I've only ever had computers in my life as escapism. And books but then I ran out of money for those and stopped reading in highschool. My entire fucking life is just a black hole. A disco ball shows me ever mistake I've made in my life. I regret every single aspect

Nothing is my calling . At this point I don't want a job in technology at all. I hate technology and believe modern development causes more harm than good. And is just a method for business owners to line pockets with fake forced "progress"
I would kill myself if I did IT. I want to kill myself now.

....I have no interests . I literally have been focused on computers since I was a kid . I'm an adult and even after five years of purposeful concentrated learning I'm tech illiterate.

I'm OP

You're an attention seeking whiny bitch with no defined sense of self. Stop coming here to be wrapped up in a hugbox of bullshit. Chose to fucking discipline your life and stop with the dripping pussy of a sob story

I'm not attention seeking I'm genuinely looking for solutions that apply or appeal to me

Read the last sentence here
...and stop posting. Just because you don't like the solution doesn't mean that it's wrong for you.

Therapy helps senpai. Our minds think of things much worse than they actually are. Your mind is off and we can all tell. If you can't trust yourself, then trust us damn it. We've been here for you and took the time to reply. Go get some help before it's too late.

And no it's not too late. At some point you were happy. At some point you did not think about killing yourself. You can return to that if you wish but until you make that decision we will be here for you.

I think you need to slow your role bro. Take it easy and dedicate more time to it

How do I discipline myself if I have nothing to discipline towards

I've already spent five years trying to get the basics . Maybe I should just cut my losses. I've been beyond miserable in that time . But I doubt I'm capable of learning anything else and that time probably couldn't be better spent .
>at some point you were happy
Not really it was garbage from the get go. I was always a sad withdrawn kid

It is better to have never been. But you're here now. Nobody can convince you that there's a reason for it. That doesn't mean you should be a puss.

I'm not asking for a reason I hate nihilism . I just want a vaguely appealing direction in life

>There's nothing to believe in in this world. I just dont know. I want better life but no lives are even vaguely appealing to me

you have to first concede by even asking us about such things here on yotsuba that:

>Why is that worthwhile

:your ability to assess why something is worthwhile isn't serving you.

you've already proven that by failing to objectify yourself and your actions even a little bit in the OP.

it doesn't take much to unravel your claim that there is nothing to believe in. You told us about the consequences the people around you visited on you, but you didn't need to tell us anything but they stopped you. So it matters in some way that they banned you, it matters in some way that they roughed you up, and it matters in some way that they threatened you would be committed.

Now, i get that youre suffering, but that only further cements the point that you're being irrational and contrarian/denialist. Because no rational person would make this statement seriously:

>the thought of doing that my entire life depresses me

you don't have to do any one thing all your damn life.

you need mental and emotional help.

You already mad this thread before
Fuck off faggot.