Hey its been a while since Ive dated (5-6 years) I've been focusing too much on my career and it sorta just got out of control. Now I want to start dating again. I remember online dating being pretty horrible , so being an older dude (30's) where is a good place to search?
Getting back into dating
>I remember online dating being pretty horrible
I'm in my 30s and I gotta say that online dating is actually pretty fucking cool.
You wanna go back to the 90s when it was literally impossible to find anyone to talk to or date outside of your immediate word-of-mouth pen-and-paper school-and-part-time-job social circle? I don't. Shit sucked man. I love having a start trek future sci-fi device on my pocket at all times that lets me hook up with complete strangers.
Anyways, you can always do the same shit as always like we did in the 90s/early 2000s and even what our parents and whatever older people did. Go out to bars and clubs or join a fuckin bird-watching group or whatever lets you meet new people.
>You wanna go back to the 90s when it was literally impossible to find anyone to talk to or date outside of your immediate word-of-mouth pen-and-paper school-and-part-time-job social circle?
I didn't think so lol
Some new-age shit like Wicca meetups, astrology meetups, yoga class, or a lecture/event by some new age guru. Always way more populated with girls than guys.
Yoga is actually SUPER normal now. Go to a yoga class and you'll just see basic bitches with starbucks chai lattes taking selfies all over the gym floor.
I mean it is good advice since there is a ton of women there, but you won't find hippy bitches at a regular yoga class anymore.
Cold approach. The other guy who says that in the 90s it was difficult, lmao, it was way easier since girl were not distracted by phones and their egos inflated by instagram and fb beta orbiters. Back in the early 2000s i was dating 6 girls at the same time. Cold approach is still the most effective way to do it. Do social circle dating and watch your friends run away from you.
Online dating sucks unless you are chad. The real problem is girls just make me waste my time and matches lead to nothing or they use old photos and now they are whales, just looking for a free meal.
>I'm not a Chad but in the 90s I was dating 37 different girls at once
>Online dating sucks because it goes nowhere, instead you should run up to girls waiting in line for the bus and desperately try to immediately get their phone numbers which might happen once in a million times
cool story bro
Ok man, it never works, keep begging to e-whales maybe they let you finger their pussy if you feed them a big mac. Stay virgin.
Explain to me why online dating stucks unless you're Chad, but running up to women IRL is supposed to be a waaaay better approach especially for people from Jow Forums who are shy and introvert and have self-confidence issues.
No need to call me an incel or a roastie or whatever. I genuinely want to see things from your perspective, cause from where I'm standing it makes absolutely no sense at all.
Ok man, im gonna explain.
Im not a chad in anyway, i was bullied in highschool for being ugly, some of the worst years of my life right there, Last year of highschool picked up skateboarding and suddenly i won respect from the skateboarding kids and the last few months the rest of the class, wish i had done that earlier. I have social anxiety, i suck at small talk, im a fucking autist, sometimes i forget how to walk, i almost black out when im nervous, i have all your fucking problems ok.
What i do is, only have a small conversation like "hello, how are you? you look nice so i had to come talk to you. whats your name? can we go out sometime?" No need for PUA bullshit tactics, what that does is forcing the woman to like you. If she doesnt give you her number then you dont like her. Depending how you feel you could extend the conversation to something situational, but the girl knows WHY you are talking to her, so why waste her time?
Simple as that. I told you i was dating up to 6 women at the time, well, those are some shitty numbers, because my friend who is a chad was fucking a girl almost daily. I ended up having a relationship with one of these cold approaches for 6 FUCKING YEARS. The day i met her i just went to her, told her "hello, whats your name, give me your email address i may write you later or something ok bye" that single 1 or 2 minute conversation became 5 years of amazing sex and a shitty year of me being beta not wanting to break up.
Now, this also depends of your country culture. Latinos and blacks in the US are most likely to use cold approach because is in their culture. I dont live in the US but ive been there and have seen it many times. Ive seen it in japan, where is called nampa. Its used in spain and latin america. Ive seen it in italy. It could work in germany but i dont know, i went there for a week only but you could totally try it with tourists if german girls are not up to
BTW, work on yourself. Go to the gym, find hobbies that ARE NOT FUCKING VIDEO GAMES OR ANIME, learn another language, be an interesting person, this will give you some base confidence and something that a girl can appreciate. We will never be chad, we will never be swimming in pussy, but we can be our best version.
Also, forget about clubs, women there have their defense up and are just playing games.
First off, I'm not an incel or anything. I've been in plenty of relationships and one night stands and whatever else. When I was saying "or people from Jow Forums who are shy and introvert and have self-confidence issues." I wasn't talking about myself, I was literally talking about people from Jow Forums.
and what you wrote there isn't false
>What i do is, only have a small conversation like "hello, how are you? you look nice so i had to come talk to you. whats your name? can we go out sometime?"
but you can 100% totally do all that, online.
I don't see why you're saying that online dating is for Chads only and meanwhile walking up to random chicks and being like "hey babe you're hot gimme your number" is something that only introverts from Jow Forums should be doing. Seems like that's wearing pants on your head and gloves on your feet. That all seems completely opposite and backwards IMO.
And the cherry on the cake
>Also, forget about clubs, women there have their defense up and are just playing games.
So what about women who are waiting for the bus? Women who are riding the train? Women who are studying at Starbucks? If you're gonna advocate cold approach, you better die on a hill to it. You can't be like "go walk up to women and bother them, except when it looks like they don't want to be bothered"
What's more, is that online dating TOTALLY removes all that. If a girl is playing games at a club, she's playing games at a club and doesn't want to be bothered. if a girl is studying at the library, she's studying at the library and doesn't want to be bothered. If she's riding the bus and trying to have a 20 minute nap, she's riding the bus and having a 20 minute nap and doesn't want to be bothered.
if she's on Tinder? Guess what? She's looking for someone. You're 100% not bothering her then.
>If she's on Tinder, she's looking for someone.
Oh my sweet summerchild.
o I'm sorry you're right, people who are on tinder are looking to catch a ride to the airport and get food delivered
Ok man dont do it if you think you are "molesting" them, and go back to plebbit to defend the gillette commercial.
Look man, i told you my experience, and that's it, what you want me to say? To say that it doesn't work? Most of the time girls will giggle and be flattened you took the time to pay her some REAL LIFE attention. Girls spend a lot of money and time to look attractive to the opposite sex, now you are telling me, having attraction to the is wrong and i should be arrested for rape just for talking to them?
Also, did i told you to call the girls "babes"? you fucking incel, learn to read and tell me in which moment was my conversation like that.
Yes, you can do all that shit online, in the safety of your basement, along with millions of betas and cowards just like you. How do you stand out from the others?
How old are you kid?
go back to plebbit.
I cant believe what i read you fucking idiots. Thats why you are just a bunch of betas. Stay on tinder and take those whales on a date. Moreover, the girls from tinder are damaged, thats why they cant get boyfriends in real life. I have female friends so i know this shit. One of them was a 29yo virgin and she lost her virginity to some tinder white knight like you faggots. Stop fucking whales and try to be a man for once in your fucking lives.
>go back to plebbit x2
How old did you say you were again? You said you were swimming in pussy in the 2000s and I'd assume that mean like 2003 or something and not the ass-end of 2009. So you're late 20s? late 20s and still using "plebbit"?
>I cant believe what i read you fucking idiots. Thats why you are just a bunch of betas. Stay on tinder and take those whales on a date. Moreover, the girls from tinder are damaged,
Right, cause there is absolutely no crossover between girls who use tinder and online dating, and IRL girls who exist on planet earth and walk around.
It's not like literally everyone under the age of 60 with an internet connection has at least one dating profile somewhere.
Not that user, but you're dumb. There are plenty of girls on Tinder looking for something serious. They're not all trying to be thots, and when you have a platform as massive as Tinder, there's bound to be girls who are looking for something bigger than just casual sex simply because the pool is massive. Same thing goes for guys
and even then, everyone can use a good thot everyone now and then. Especially if they're skittish and nervous about dating it's a pleasant surprise to find a girl who's just like "there's people at my house right now but I know a place in the woods where we can bang no problem" all brass tacks and straight to business.
Also considering how Tinder used to be, there's plenty more people on there now just looking for regular dates and less crazy hook-ups.
>Look man, i told you my experience, and that's it
Cold approach is still the most effective way to do it. Do social circle dating and watch your friends run away from you.
Online dating sucks unless you are chad.
I lost a good female friend went she told me sge was in love with me, and i had other girl tell me the same thing but we are still friends, however much more distant.
Also you dont want all your social circle spreading shit around your back.
I never said anything against the social circle thing. I do agree that it's best to date relatively outside of your immediate circle.
The cold approach/online dating contradiction is what really activates my almonds
>The cold approach/online dating contradiction is what really activates my almonds
Same desu. I agree with literally everything he's said, but I've had great success with Tinder, and I'm not a chad. I feel it largely comes down to having decent pictures and not beating around the bush.
I just came back from walking my dog, there was this girl who i have never seen before and she started to talk to another girl that is a regular. She asked whats your name? do you come here often? where do you work? Immediately i went and told her that what she was doing was sexual harassment and rape, so i threatened to call the police and told her that if they wanted to met they had to join grinder and find each other before talking in real life. They called the police on me instead :C
What did i do wrong guys? You told me talking with other humans in real life was rape!?