Firstly, I'm not a doctor so I can't give you medical advice. Secondly...

I feel like I've perfected a facade so much that I'm not really getting help with my current therapist, who is moving me to biweekly appointments on account of thinking I'm doing fine now (I originally came for help with stress and anxiety mostly focused on work).

I know you can't give medical advice, but I have erectile dysfunction and a lot of uncomfortable sexual shit (mental) that I don't know how to approach. Should I change my mostly pleasurable interactions with her to delve into the really dark side of shit, or maybe find a specialist?

I haven't encountered this, no. Honestly, it just doesn't make sense in theory or in practice. It takes an incredible amount of work to become an effective social worker. The work is long, the pay isn't great and the blood and sweat you sink into caring for people is rarely praised or rewarded. The kinds of people who are not cut out for this business tend to drop out many years before they actually get the opportunity to do any significant harm. It would take an incredibly rare kind of monster to sink an incredible amount of time, energy and money into becoming a licensed counselor just so they could turn around and mock/belittle people. There are much, much easier ways to hurt people then spending 4-6 years of your life to become a poorly paid social worker. If anything, the biggest problem in this industry is people growing over-worked, burnt out and indifferent. It happens more than I'd like to admit. Lets just say that the state doesn't pay us handsomely for our efforts.

I'm emotionally weak and even cry when I get into direct confrontations with people.

I got a new job and it is driving me crazy. I feel dumb here and every time that i mess up i want to harm my self. I think a lot about my job and keep thing about how i acted during a situation. I dont know what to do, i wasn't like this during college. Is this a mental disorder ?

Addressing your underlying sexual dysfunction is going to require a lot of uncomfortable honesty. Fostering an environment which makes that honesty easiest for you is going to be your best chance at success. If you don't feel as though you are comfortable talking with your current therapist about these issues then seeking the guidance of a specialist may be very beneficial. If you feel as though you can drop your facade and be honest with her then I would suggest doing that as well. It really all depends on whether or not you're willing to take that step with her or not.

Well, seeing a therapist and getting to the real issue of why confrontation gives you such panic and anxiety is going to help. As far as how fast you can do it, I don't have an answer to that question. Something that deeply seated, in my experience, needs to be done correctly and a pace that's conducive to your well being, not quickly. I understanding just wanting to be rid of these feelings immediately and not being burdened with it anymore but I encourage you to look at this kind of thing as a stain that comes out slowly with time and effort, not a tumor you can just cut off and be done with.

I can't speak as to whether or not you have a mental disorder but I can tell you that anxiety and/or depression can most certainly be exacerbated or triggered by stressful life events like a new job. It sounds as though you're experiencing an unmanageable amount of anxiety. Addressing that anxiety is your first step. Along with seeing a doctor and being assessed for any underlying disorder a big piece is going to be finding coping skills that work for you. A therapist can most certainly help you with that. In the mean time there are a lot of great resources on the internet and books that can help you address your anxiety on your own time.

just realized i could put this here
I think i might have some sort of personality disorder
>1) mom thought i died and panicked in front of me, i didnt really care
>2) band teacher who has a kid on the way panicks and immediatley cancels practice, everyone gets all worried and i wanna know if i should leave my stuff there or not
>3) My friends call me a good friend whos willing to listen but its really just cuz their lives are like stories to me
>4) i had a depressed /suicidal friend who i always thought i would cry if he tried to kill himelf, i was only slightly peeved when he attempted suicide
>5) I have no issue with lying if i think it will benefit me
>6) only those who have been really close to me accuse me of being a cold person who wants to be liked
>7) I have no issue going extended periods of time without seeing those im suupposed to love
>8) the only times i get upset not seeing someone is when i think they left me because of me
>9) i sculpt myself into whatever image other people believe because it gets me what i want
>10) one of the main things that make me angry is people showing aggression or disgust towards me

all the events happened within the past year

cant go to a doctor cuz i have more "traditional" parents who wont care and there is no confidential therapist for young adults in my area

Am i overreacting, being dramatic, or is this something i should look into

pic completely unrelated

Not directly related to mental health but wanted to ask you personally a few things about your profession
>how did you get into this line of work?
>what kind of person does it take to do casework for mental health?
>how is the pay?
>what advice do you have for someone looking to go down a similar career path?

you are normal dude, I've felt the exact same things, you didn't find someone that woke you up, someone that can make you happy, someone that can make you care for other people. I'm sure that you'll get "better".. mainly because you already know what's wrong

Its hard to say. A lot of this sounds like normal teenage adjustment but some of it seems concerning, yes. The only reason I'd make a push towards looking into it is because you came here to ask about it. That says to me that, on some level, you're curious and/or concerned about why you are the way you are. Its worth exploring for the purpose of just examining these emotions you have, at the very least. Don't feel like going to see someone is any kind of admittance that they need to "fix" you. Its okay to see someone just to ask questions and explore this side of you a little. It seems as though you have a strange and disconnected relationship with empathy. For lack of a better phrase, lets just say it isn't not worth exploring. Also, for the record, there is no such thing as a non-confidential therapist. Not in a professional sense. A licensed counselor sharing your private medical information with anybody, even your parents, is a federal crime. In most states the age at which people are entitled to private medical care is fairly young, usually between 14-16. If you are from outside of the U.S. then I apologize, my knowledge is mostly limited to the policies of my own country.

I got into this work because it was a family business. Both my parents worked in the field and I spent my childhood with foster children coming in and out of our house pretty regularly. My father had a son from a different marriage who really struggled with mental illness and, long story short, it eventually cost him his life. I have, in some sense, always been involved in the mental health field. I just really like supporting people. If I've learned anything from this field is that people who really take the time to stop and listen to these mentally ill individuals and really give a shit about them are few and far between. I like being there. I like helping people improve their lives. As far as what kind of person it takes I'd say that anybody who requires any kind of accolades from their vocation should avoid this field at all costs. This job is primarily thankless. Obviously I didn't get into it for the thanks but sometimes when you're in the thick of it the work often feels like just damage control. You need a pretty strong emotional constitution to handle a job that is essentially burdening yourself with the collective dysfunction of another person. Their problems are your problems. Their failures are your failures. Its very emotionally taxing at times. The pay, if you have a degree, is decent. It is nowhere near what it should be but, as I said, nobody I know who has been at this for any extended period of time does it for the money. I make a decent living at what I do but it will never make me rich. My advice for anybody interested is to get a job as a direct care provider for a foster home. They're easy, entry level positions and they toss you right into the shit. After your first few weeks of being yelled and cursed at and even sometimes hit or bitten you'll get a pretty good idea whether you can take the heat. It takes nerves of steel to really be effective and engaging with people in a mental health crisis, especially if they're violent.

I constantly feel like people can tell I watch porn, outside of paranoia, could this be something else?

Well, seeing as how we both know there is no logical reason why they would know about your porn habit then paranoia of some kind seems to be the most logical answer.

Props to this thread, I volunteer in a live-in accommodation for kids between 15-18 entering independent living' in Australia and it's some heavy shit sometimes.

Even though the program is (Supposed) to be for relatively chill kids almost all have behaviours of concern up to and including suicidal thoughts, hearing voices and violent bi-polar type outbursts.

It is super rewarding tho and I dont even get paid. Just cheap rent lel

I have an abundance of issues when it comes to other people. I often think they dont really want to talk to me or that they don't actually care about the friendship at all. In particular there was a recent moment where a girl asked if I actually cared about our friendship at all (I dont really have much issue cutting people off/ignoring them if i feel slighted) which was weird to me. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations since she thought we talk often (daily but not really for long).

How do I stop being possessive over people (even if i dont show it) and not getting jealous over their interactions with others?