Please rate my new resume

1. OK
2. Not enough space to bullet point all of it out, it all has to fit on one sheet right? But yeah, fair point that I can't do much about.
3. Good point. I had to keep some things in mind doing this like "what words could I include to make my resume pinged by the fucking retarded bot systems, so someone living can notice and look at it to contact me back?" but bolding some words could look good too. Or it could backfire and look ugly, not too sure. Will give it a try and see how I feel about it.

Also, the lines separating each section title and its contents feel really weird...
>Line is closer to the content than the title
>Line doesnt cover the left and right side of each section.

In general, I would just say that your resume is HARD TO READ. everything feels super cramped, air out a bit, cause that shit is not just hard to read, but fucking intimidating to read. Increase font, increase paragraph spaces, make 2 pages if you have to.

Has a friend who’s parent was a hiring manager. Best suggestion was to break up the paragraphs into bullet point details. Have a summary at the top that gives a quick breakdown of all your skills. List specifics underneath each job with bullet points. Try not to be too repetitive

If you are going to test sperm smears all day long, no one gives a fuck about your Shakespeare, exceling, or dynamic anything. Your job is to be a reliable, systematic dullard at a government job where everyone works there because it’s impossible to get fired. The last thing they need is some squirt caught up in his excellence fucking up their retirement plan.

1. If I was am employer and saw "requiring minimal experience", it tells me that
> ur not confidant
> u cant handle the "serious" stuff
> ur lazy, maybe
Im glad you removed it
2.You can put 2 lists side by side. You can use a table with 2 columns then remove borders. If not use bold highlight
3. Ye just try it bro, try all the shit and choose one that looks good

As for the shakespeare stuff. I can understand why people would think it's weird. But honestly I don't think it's bad at all. It would stand out and it says a bit about your personality, I would keep it

That's not even an official format in any capacity, but maybe that's fine for yor country.
Look up an European Curriculum Vitae and improve by examining yours with it.

Get rid of the skills. Otherwise I like the old one better for the boring-ass government job you seek. Don’t underestimate the LACK of interest, motivation, ambition, work-ethic, sobriety, being conscious, etc. of the government employee decision makers. They want a non-threatening dullard who won’t try to take their shitty office chair they waited 5 years to steal when the last shitty chemist died of boredom.

That was the reason for it, because it fucking stands out for a non-essential elective at least. I've got plenty of meme comments about that already.

Will check that out later.

I didn't exactly know how to make proper lines like I've seen on other resumes, so I went with substituting underscores for that. Making font larger would break Times New Roman 12 point, so I'm apprehensive on that. I can try for 2 pages and line spaces too.

Not exactly sure how to "quick breakdown" all that.
>List specifics underneath each job with bullet points
That's what I did
>Try not to be too repetitive
alright

I gotta have things for fucking HR too, man. They supposedly eat that shit up, but what do I know?

Two columns feels like it would have too much compressed info and feel even harder to read. No room for two lists.

>Get rid of the skills
The fuck? Why? I need those there.
You seem like a very cynical prick about this sort of shit, might I ask why? Do you speak from experience?

>I gotta have things for fucking HR too, man. They supposedly eat that shit up, but what do I know?

Yeah you've got the wrong idea. HR doesn't give a shit about your personal interests. An interviewer might ask about them because they want to know if you're an outgoing person with interests and aren't just a shut in, or if you're interviewing with the person who would be your boss they might ask to find out if you have anything in common (because getting along with people you work with is important), but on your resume you don't list your hobbies.

The design is garbage. I know you're not applying for design work of any kind but reading this is hard. My eyes slide right off it. Choose a different template and use a sans-serif font.

Your summary is boring and impersonal. Feel free to refer to yourself (I, my, me) as long as you kep it formal. Remember to write in complete sentences; all three of those are incomplete in their phrasing.

Skills would be better in a bullet point list so that it's easier to distinguish them. Don't include irrelevant things like photoshop (unless it's relevant) and if you're going to include a "minor" skill then don't call it a minor skill. Just call it a skill. You can always learn, graduates aren't expected to be top performers in their first week. At the end of your skills section you've included a lot of personality traits, and most of them should be cut. It's fine to say that you're focused and detail drive but the rest of it about attitude and timely communication is padding at best.

On the other hand, your employment history would be better as full paragraphs instead of bullet point lists.

Coursework should be listed with in your education section.

>Choose a different template and use a sans-serif font.
Will consider trying it out, see what works.
>Feel free to refer to yourself (I, my, me) as long as you keep it formal.
>Remember to write in complete sentences
Alright
>Skills would be better in a bullet point list so that it's easier to distinguish them
Okay
>Don't include irrelevant things like photoshop (unless it's relevant)
Got it
>At the end of your skills section you've included a lot of personality traits, and most of them should be cut.
Was assuming they would help to fool HR into actually wanting to get me an interview with a real person. Keywords for the resume filter bots and all.
>your employment history would be better as full paragraphs instead of bullet point lists
This conflicts with what I was told about keeping it as bullet point lists. Not sure what to think now, fuck.
>Coursework should be listed with in your education section.
I'll give that a try

I'll try to keep personal shit to a minimum at least, but I feel like having keywords is necessary when applying online.

>This conflicts with what I was told about keeping it as bullet point lists. Not sure what to think now, fuck.

Bullet points are easy to read but no one really gives a shit what you did at your last job specifically, just that you had one and weren't fired. You've got the education for the job and your resume is free of errors so that puts you in the top ~30% of any applicant pool. Since your work experience is student jobs that don't mean much you don't need to worry too hard about it.

Keyword bots are a bit of an industry grey area. Big law enforcement agencies probably do use them, so you're on the right track, but they aren't looking for personality traits. The keywords they look for are typically the career-specific words you see used in the job ad. In your case they'd be things to do with forensic science which I have no idea about so I can't really tell you. Job related stuff basically.

Instead of stating you studied Shakespearen lit, spin it to say you studied literature and excel at written communication, ya dig? And it's "analytical" not "analysis" instruments. And FTIR is an instrument also. And since all of those end in mass spec, just say, "GC, HPLC, DART, MS", they'll get it. Get your word choice down perfect so that an expert effortlessly knows you know your stuff.

>no one really gives a shit what you did at your last job specifically, just that you had one and weren't fired
Not fired once. Post office job I couldn't continue at because my schedule made it impossible, and the library job I couldn't continue at because I was graduating. My bosses and coworkers at both places said they'd miss me or something.
>You've got the education for the job and your resume is free of errors so that puts you in the top ~30% of any applicant pool.
What, really? That much?
>Since your work experience is student jobs that don't mean much you don't need to worry too hard about it.
That's a relief.
>Big law enforcement agencies probably do use them, so you're on the right track
Okay good
>but they aren't looking for personality traits
I had them there for HR, like I said
>The keywords they look for are typically the career-specific words you see used in the job ad.
And I've added a bunch of keywords and shit knowing that was the case, as you can see.
>which I have no idea about so I can't really tell you
That's okay, thank you

Thank you, I didn't think to do those.

>things for hr
>cynical prick
I sit on a board for a local government that hires, among other things, shitty chemists to do low level lab testing work. We just want someone to shut the fuck up, test the samples, fill out the little report, and not fuck anything up with Shakespeare, ambition, personality, hopes, dreams, etc.

Alright cool, will consider that