Where can I find men who are interested in serious relationships and don't expect sex right away?

I'm a huge Magic the Gathering nerd. I also enjoy board games and competitive fighting games. In order to meet me you'd have to somehow either infiltrate my personal circle of friends (pretty hard to do) or be interested enough in me at a card shop/game shop to ask for my phone number.

I also really fucking love canoeing and river floats, so I guess you could technically meet me on southern Missouri rivers in the summertime, but I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority when it comes to who else is on the river with me. (Most of the people are "truck boys" - if you don't understand what that is, you're better off, don't worry about it)

What about you? What kinds of things are you interested in?

There's hiking and camping in almost every state, maybe you can try to find some meetme events for camping/hiking where you could meet people. Obviously you won't know if they're okay with taking it slow until you get to know them, which is unfortunate.

Honestly, they aren't.
I wouldn't even have big problems dating someone who isn't very attractive (despite being pretty), but all my recent dating experience ended up with a guy being really pissed off about me "leading him on" because I refused to have sex with him after 4 dates.

That's around the ideal time for me, too.

>try to meet more people in general
I really struggle to do this, I'm really introverted and have very solitary hobbies. I don't like parties and I don't have many friends.

Closest decent hikes are around 5 hours by car. I come from a small village on the mountains so my brothers and I went hiking nearly every day in the summer.
I'll look into it, tho, thanks.

I posted a pretty big list here: I like being outdoors a lot, just very little options around here. The job is really neat but there's not much to do when it comes to nature.

Protip: Most guys are taught that you can't be friends with someone before dating, so you're gonna have some real tough luck with that one. (Unfortunately, it's because it's the exception to the rule. It's very true.)

I'd personally be more than happy to wait for sex, but I have a hard time finding that in a girl these days, who either wants to fuck night one, or thinks there's a problem with me if I'm not coming on to her. I wish I had better answers for where to find like-minded people, but it's really just luck of the draw.

Where did you move to, if you don't mind me asking? I'm not interested in meeting, just wondering if I can give any tips of places to go since I travel a lot.

>books
Have you tried the library at all? You'll have to start up conversations with randoms, which can sometimes be pretty difficult, but you could meet some likeminded people who don't leave home often there.
>cooking
Are there any classes around you that teach? You could try and meet people through those classes.
>gardening
Check to see if there's a public garden in your town that you could contribute to. Try to show at different times and maybe you'll meet someone who's also into gardening.

You sound like an interesting, well-rounded individual. It's hard to meet people in today's day and age, but I think you've got a lot to offer, so if you just keep at it, I'm sure you'll find someone. You've just got to tell them that you're interested in taking it slow and they'll either be cool with that or not. If not, you'll just have to search for someone else. Sorry, there's no easy way.

>not much to do when it comes to nature.
yikes, what an awful place! Are you in the states or a europoor? I can't believe there's nothing to do outside :(

>Would ideally date a few months before having sex
Oh?, have him jump trough hoops for you, fucking kill yourself op, at least consider it.

A few months? Good luck finding a guy who will put up with that. Unless you are tolerant of the fact he'll be getting pussy elsewhere.

It's not an absolute requirement but it would make things easier for me. I like getting to know people a little bit before dating, since I feel like dating makes you often hide things about yourself to appear more interesting and I'd rather get to know someone in a more relaxed setting. I don't know if this makes any sense.

>Where did you move to, if you don't mind me asking?
I'd rather not share. I'm European tho.

>Have you tried the library at all?
Haven't thought about it! It's a good idea. I'm not shy, I wouldn't mind starting conversations with randoms. I'll look into it.

>Are there any classes around you that teach?
>Check to see if there's a public garden in your town that you could contribute to.
Those are great ideas, thanks. I never took classes, my father is a chef and he taught me a lot so I never thought about taking classes. I'll look into it.
Great ideas, user.
And thank you for all the compliments, you're really sweet.

Europoor. Literally plains and moderate hills for hours on end, not very fun.

I don't expect him to do anything special for me, I just would like to get to know each other before having sex. Pretty rude tho.

I wouldn't want this to be a thing he has to put up with, it should be a thing he desires to do too. A man who thinks that waiting for a bit to have sex is a terrible curse is not a man who should date me.

thats neat, I'm just saying good luck.

>Literally plains and moderate hills for hours on end
Damn that's unfortunate. What made you move there? Really good job offer or something?

Good luck on your quest for the patient guy, it's a long trip, but I'm hopeful that you'll find someone!

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Really amazing job offer.
I earn twice as much as I did before, in a town where the cost of living is fairly moderate, for a job that is just awesome. I wake up with a big smile on my face every morning and I hate the weekends because I don't get to work.
I got out of a rough moment a year ago and I needed a fresh start.

I really liked these ideas , I'll look into it.

>I hate the weekends because I don't get to work
holy cow please tell me how you did that, that's amazing, I'm so jealous! I live for the weekends and struggle to pull myself out of bed to go into work every weekday.

How would you feel if after a few months of dating he wouldn't have sex with you?

here
I am an artist who also enjoys cooking and hiking. Been considering going to some art classes to see if I can meet people. Also into electronics, but my local hackerspace is a massive anti-social sausagefest and everyone there is legit dickheads.

DESU, I severely limited my vidya playing last year (26 now) and it made me realize how limited my friend group truly was. I mostly stay home. Been considering okcupid desu. Some of my friends have told me that they met amazing men and women on Tinder, but I'm just not seeing it and I kind want to meet someone more naturally since there's less judgement and intimidation from the onset. I get plenty of matches, but I just don't want hookups.

I really love the field I got into, I found a job that is just awesome. My coworkers are sweet, the environment in general is great, and I work with kids (and I love kids).
I work in a psychiatric clinic that is inside a school for kids with special needs. I work with kids from 4 to 6, in their kindergarten classes.
They're literally the purest thing I've ever met. They love me a lot and they're really comfortable around me, which is a great feeling.
I got one kid to say his first word last week. Probably the most rewarding job I could ever have.

I don't want a sexless relationship, I just don't want to have sex with someone I don't know well. Sex is a pretty big deal to me.

>I just don't want to have sex with someone I don't know well.
I get that.

I had no problems with matches either. Frankly, I'm good looking and I have no issues finding guys willing to have sex with me, but I'm really disgusted by casual sex.
How's okcupid? Have you ever tried it?
I find tinder pretty scary.

Wouldn't be the job for me, but it's nice to hear that you've found something that's such a perfect fit for you, good on you!! I wish my job was more rewarding, but it's basically just "wagecuck" unfortunately. :(

I used OKCupid for a while, got a few good matches and dates on there. Some of the people I met were just into the casual sex, but one girl I took on a date was much more interested in dating and a long-term relationship. Nothing ever came of any of my dates, but I had fun at most of them, so I'd recommend it, maybe you'll meet someone great.

I haven't, no. I have a friend who has had "success" on there, but now he wants to come back on my couch because his girl he met on there doesn't want him anymore. I'm at a loss and I've just been keeping my head down.

It's infuriating, really. Like, I don't need additional validation that I'm good looking and have my shit together. That's exactly what Tinder is though: a very efficient way to get your dick wet another else. I need something more than that, though, and I'm starting to worry all the platforms are the same with the experience my buddy had on OKC

All dude want sex right away. Lets face it, you're not as interesting or fun to be around as you think. You need to learn how to like able to keep a man. After reading your post, I dont even fucking like you. The relationship builds after sex for men.
>A woman has to like you to sleep with you
>A man has to like you to sleep with you again

Fuck off, bruh. Some of us are getting into our mid and late 20's and want to start thinking about kids.
>the relationship builds after sex
Speak for yourself. I have perfectly functional libido, but I have too much shit going on in my life to be sex hungry like I was in my teens, and I want to build something strong and worthwhile with someone important to me. Fuck off with your stupid, risk-averse MGTOW bullshit.

So long as you look 'for dates,' you will be sabotaging any and all chances you have for eternity.
"Just to date" is a terrible fucking reason to see anyone. Why would you?
>Dating sites
I don't understand how people constantly fail to grasp what online dating is. It's just amazing, and with all the evidence out there pointing to it with bright neon signs...

Get away from relationships. Stop needing them, stop hounding after them. Desperation kills because nobody wants to be around you just because you want to date them.

Go out, socialize, meet people and form a lasting bond. Or do like this, and be foreveralone.

Thanks! I'll give it a try.
Tinder is the main thing around here, so I don't know if there are many people on ok cupid.

I worry about that too, to be honest. I always worry that online dating just isn't for me because it feels kind of unnatural and like an online catalogue of people who are down for sex.
I don't know.
I'm sorry for your friend, I wish you both the best.

>guys like this want virgin girls

>Sorry for your friend
Don't be, he manipulates women into giving him a place to move in, then kick him out when he gets wise. Lol

Tbh just try Tinder, but put "no hookups" in your bio. I was amazed at the kinda people I met doing that. Yeah, some thots (re: thirsty dudebros) won't read it, but worth a shot, right?

I'll take that into consideration, thanks.

I'm not desperate, I lead a pretty happy by myself.
I just figured that I won't get a relationship from sitting alone in my flat with a book, and am asking for advice on how to meet people who might have similar values as me, since "partying" and shit like that clearly isn't suited for someone who doesn't want casual sex and most of my hobbies and interests aren't good for socialisation.
I got some pretty solid advice from an user in this thread, "go out and socialise" isn't really useful.

see this, this is why you'll never be happy. Sure you'll be able to get a white knight or some loser that'll put up with your bull shit, but no woman is attracted to that guy.
>I want to build something strong and worthwhile with someone important to me
Why haven't you been able to do that now? You're at THAT age where the value of pussy declines rapidly. You cant afford to be this way anymore. Now take my medicine bitch

When they* get wise

This.

I feel like an alien because the concept of seeking out someone to date is totally incomprehensible to me, yet everyone does it.

are you OP?

Yes.

Oh, lol.
What kind of people did you meet on tinder?

oh, I like you. You'll be fine I believe

That's clearly a man you're talking to.
I doubt he has a pussy which value is declining rapidly.

Thing is, 'waiting for a bit' and 'several months' aren't one and the same.

>Or do like this,
and be foreveralone.
What exactly did I say to be considered as foreveralone worthy?
I told her what men want and to be likable, how is that bad advice?

I dont give a fuck about virgins

>makes a decent guy or at least one she'd settle for jump through countless hoops for the reward of her company only
>fucks the first attractive dude that approaches her
Excellent bait. I might borrow this for the future

I don't get it either but I don't get a lot of things and I'm on a different meta from most of the world so I've just accepted that they're gonna be idiots for the most part. C'est.
Make friends. Expand your social circle. Thus meet people, thus explore potential partners.

Maybe the problem is that you AREN'T social in the first place and the fantasy of a partner is more attractive than the reality.

I'm not asking someone to wait till marriage, just till we know each other fairly well and we're sure that we want to be serious about each other.
It's not like 4 months is set in stone, I just don't want to have sex with someone after 3 weeks we know each other.
Sex is such a big deal: I'm exposing myself to STDs, the risk of pregnancy, I'm getting myself in such a vulnerable position, and sex is just really meaningful to me as a physical way to signal how much I love and care for someone.
I just can't do it with someone who is a stranger, and I'm sorry but if we've seen each other 10 times you basically are.

You're making things up.

I'm not very social, no. I said that in the first post, and that my attempts to meet more people ended me in groups filled with middle aged women (book clubs, post pregnancy gym classes, etc).
You keep telling me to "make friends and expand my social circle", which is something I want to do, but haven't been successful at. I'm asking for advice on how to do so.

No. I don't think I am.

You are.
The only person I had sex with was a long term boyfriend, and he waited for a year and half before I was ready to have sex with him.

Sure. I'll take your word for it

I think I have a better knowledge of what got inside my vagina than a stranger on the internet.

I would hope so. And yet, I think I have a good grasp of when lies are trying to enter my mind

The whole friends before dating thing makes me think you've got a lot of emotional baggage to unpack before you could have a stable romantic relationship. You just generally sound too risk averse.

I don't really, I just find it more natural.
Getting to know someone as friends before we date seems a lot more natural and easier to me, plus there's no pressure from dating.
It's not something I think is necessary, but I'd prefer that.

Your boyfriend is either gay, fictional, a total autist, or fucked other women. No normal man would "wait" a year and half before getting laid. It's not even a matter of choice, if the option is presented he will do it.

>Your boyfriend
Clearly my ex boyfriend, since I'm looking for someone to date.

>No normal man would "wait" a year and half before getting laid.
We were very young, we were both virgins. It was fairly normal back then, most of my friends who had sex in high school waited around a year or till they were 15-16.

Let's say that a guy in whom you might be interested thought the same thing I did on first blush. In response you gave him the same answer you just gave me. Do you think anything of what you said would change what he was thinking?

Ultimately you don't have to change my mind. But the first impression you give your potential romantic partners definitely matters to you.

People on Jow Forums are generally inherently sexist to females, so listening to their opinions on dating-- an activity in which they largely do not participate-- is a good way to gaslight yourself

Get out there with your hobbies, explore your life outside your home. Go out and seek new experience and somewhere in there you might find someone novel.

People who 'don't date friends' usually date for two years at a time and then run single. All the long-lasting relationships I know of started as social bonding first.
Just-- just remember that Jow Forums reflects like, .001% of what actually happens in society. You never need to worry about finding these guys in society with any sort of commonality because they usually out themselves very quickly and that's assuming they've left the house at all.

Do you. Eventually, someone will like it or you'll find someone you like. There's a shitton of people out there, one is bound not to be a total fucking faggot

It's not called "waiting" when you are fucking 15 years old. Jesus christ I didn't realize the topic of discussion was sexuality of teenagers. This is an 18+ board.

I mean, I'm not going to tell someone I'm interested in "Yeah, I'd go out with you, but let's be friends first". I'd never say that to someone I met on a dating site, for example, or if someone I liked asked me out.
I'm maily saying that I'm more interested in meeting people through social activities where you meet the same people over and over, so we can develop a friendship and from there move to dating, than meeting people at a party, a one time social event or on a dating site because I find it more natural.
I don't see how that signals "having baggage".

Sexual compatibility is important. I don't want to get emotionally attached to a girl only to find out she has roast beef vag and is so loose it feels like I'm fucking a ghost.

Because they're teenagers on Jow Forums lashing out at females who won't fuck them
Are you also 18? You seem shockingly naive for someone who's supposedly nerdy. Is this your first time on Jow Forums? First time seeing Jow Forums?
C'mon, fuckin lurk moar.

I am obviously not 15 anymore...

I literally cannot fathom the sort of self-imposed problems women create for themselves, and the act of bragging about it unironically. I mean, I enjoy baiting, but if I ever did it unironically, I'd have to kill myself

It's really not obvious dude
You conduct like you're in high school, and not the senior years. Your worldview is painfully limited at best and self-destructive at worst. And beyond all that, you're so self-assured.

Even if you're ironically baiting, isn't that just the exact same thing as unironically baiting, but you've just got a comforting excuse to deny the fact that "I am indeed the kind of person who posts bait to Jow Forums"?

Even if you're just pretending to be retarded... isn't that still just being retarded, Anonymous?
Isn't that how we got here? By appearing open and welcome to retards and their retardation?

I've swiped dozens of "no hookups no bullshit" women and not one has gotten back to me

where you do find people that will wait until marriage other than at a church? I'm not that religious but I really think it's advisable to not have sex until marriage
not that it's the most pressing issue since I can't even get dates, but maybe if I found those kinds of people I'd get dates

>Tinder
Dumb prizes for dumb games, Anonymous. The evidence is plainly everywhere, you just want to ignore it because First Person Syndrome gives you the impression that you'll be the lucky exception.

Anonymous, mark my fucking words:
When life finally DOES make an exception for you, it won't be a good one. It'll be some uncurable lung disease bullshit, or a family member going comatose.
Life does not give good things. Good things never happen.

Do not use Tinder if you want anything remotely serious. It's just such a bad start.

You want to take the process of getting to know someone in a romantic content and preempt it by getting to know someone without the romantic context. Presumably, from what you said, it's to avoid the pressure of dating, which definitely sounds like risk aversion. It's a really well-developed personal strategy to suit your nature which deviates quite a bit from others--hence asking in the thread. All of that adds up to you carrying something into this situation which hinders the potential for a healthy relationship to develop.

I think the bigger point here is that to make dating work in any circumstance, but especially this one, you need to utilize empathy. It seems like you know that there's something about what you want which will seem anywhere from "curious" to "odd" to most guys, but I don't feel like you can actually relate to how or why. It's awesome that you're very in tune with your nature. But just as some future date needs to understand your nature, you need to be equally adept at understanding theirs. Otherwise you'll only ever get along with men who are specifically like you. That's not a winning approach just by sheer numbers.

>tfw multiple sclerosis and coeliac

Only up from here on anons haha

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I'm not just using Tinder, I'm also going out to coffee shops and restaurants and bars and using other apps and websites
also tried taking better pictures and making better bios
still nothing
I'm not going to close off any reasonable avenues

sounds wonderful user and I really do.hope that you can find someone who is into the same stuff as you!

I've also worked in a mental ward for children (7-12) for 2 months and love reading books, but unfortunately we're on Jow Forums

I wish you the very best for your future, you seem like a kind soul

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>Where can I find men who are interested in serious relationships and don't expect sex right away?
Anywhere. Be clear about your expectations and intentions when you start seeing people. There is no secret trick. Communicate. That's it.

All men want sex. The difference is finding a man who will respect your boundaries and not pressure you into it.

I don't get it, where is the line? if you take it so seriously, but you don't require any special commitment, what is the thing that makes you go "this person is worth sex"?