ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like ?
>What do girls/guys think about
There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, .

>Guys insecure with their 4+ inches dick
Fuck off

>[insert humble (or otherwise) brag]
Fuck off.

>Why is there no new thread?
Just make one. You can use these macros: imgur.com/a/y6BF2

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Other urls found in this thread:

notonthehighstreet.com/spotted/product/citylights-candle-holder
myredditnudes.com/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Girls, how an hypersensitive boy (feeling/reading emotions, getting tired when overwhelmed, sensitive to subtle arts) can make this personality trait attractive to you?

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You just need to find a woman who attaches a lot of importance to emotional sensitivity. Speaking as one, men like that are not very easy to find when young and I'd put up with a lot of shit for it because it's so rare.

If you want to broaden your dating pool your best bet is to strengthen/add to your other qualities, not to rebrand your sensitivity. People are ultimately always going for a package deal so even if they are neutral on that part they can still like you for other reasons. But honestly I would only go for this with a fling, if you're looking for that in the first place. Even if you manage to land a girl who likes you despite not relating to your sensitivity, do you really think you'd feel compatible with her on an intimate level? I don't doubt it's possible but it seems less likely than with someone who has a similar nature.

Few dates in
If I sleep with grill for the first time, but it's still pretty early in the evening.
Should I stay the night? Stay x amount of time after so she knows it wasn't a one off? It's going to blizzard tonight so I don't think I'll stay super late.

I only had sex with people I had a pretty established relationship with, but they always stayed over for the night after the first time. I'd feel really sad if they left.

Thank you for your strengthening advice!
I have another question: should I not completely rebrand myself as hypersensitive? I've come to realize this is an important, if not the most important factor in my behavior.

Unless she mentioned being a difficult sleeper and liking to sleep alone, definitely arrange it so you can stay over. You might even have a round two before bed, but disregarding, falling asleep together is another level of intimacy that usually goes hand in hand with sex. If you want to have a shot for a potential relationship definitely stay over.

Thx.
Was sort of worried I might be overstaying my welcome or whatever by sticking around too long.

You're welcome!
Not sure if I understand you correctly but what I meant with rebranding your hypersensitivity is trying to give a spin to it that will make it more appealing to a girl not actually finding sensitivity in a man attractive. I wouldn't waste energy on that. You are what you are and as mentioned, a girl not into this aspect can still find you desirable in other ways.

I wouldn't actively label yourself hypersensitive, though. If you feel like there's irritation or misunderstanding because people don't realize you are more sensitive than average, stick to a simple explanation that makes sense for the specific situation. E.g. if someone notices and obviously doesn't understand that you feel overwhelmed in a crowded place, just say "oh I have this thing where I can't shut out background noise, it's really draining". Hypersensitivity is a label that can really rub people the wrong way, either because they feel it implies you feel more than them/your emotions are more important than theirs, or because they think you just thought of a term to be high maintenance. If people understand they will understand without the label, if people don't understand they are more likely to accept it if you are casual about it.

I need birthday gift ideas for a lady friend of mine, she's going to be 21.
She's into Korean makeup (and makeup in general), the fancy creams girls buy in dedicated shops, cutesy stuff and other things I couldn't possibly get right if I tried buying.
Obviously things like jewellery are out of the question because the decent ones are expensive, it's yet another thing that falls under "I couldn't possibly get right" and it seems inappropriate for someone who's just a friend (not to mention her boyfriend is the jealous kind, he was incredibly suspicious of me until we met up a few times and got along well, but it still doesn't make buying these sort of things okay)
Last birthday I got her an assortment of small things from Japan since I've went there (like me she's a sort of former weeaboo, where we don't care much for anime anymore but Japan is still a bit of a promised land) and the birthday before that I got her a nice backpack for her laptop.
She recently moved in with her boyfriend so I'm trying to think of something that would be useful, neat or both for a new house.

All ideas are welcome.

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If all else fails; some fancy chocolates (or other candy you know she likes) and something like a book or shower cream. If she likes reading, get a novel you loved and write an inscription about what you liked so much about it or why you think she'll love it.

Alternatively: ask a female friend of hers what make up to get her or to subtly inquire for you.

Jewellery doesn't have to be expensive, especially if there's no stones or anything it can be pretty cheap, but it's indeed quite personal and also has romantic associations so I wouldn't go there unless you're gay.

You can also ask her boyfriend what they still need for their home (provided you can still choose a "nice" one, unless you like giving practical gifts). Or get something just to decorate, like pic related, one of those world maps where you can scratch off the countries you visited, a nice plant, and/or a framed poster.

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I shave my shaft and balls. Can girls feel if you have some stubble on your shaft and is it uncomfortable?

Unfortunately the only girl friend she has that I'm familiar with is her best friend and let's say I'm not too keen on talking to her.
I might ask her boyfriend even though we've only met a few times, I think if I ask him something along the lines of "I'm thinking since you've moved in together I could get something for the house, anything you guys need or want?" I won't trigger his latent paranoia.
The decorative idea isn't bad either, but I am about as creative and tasteful as a brick when it comes to aesthetics, I'll have to give it a thought.

I am just the worst with gifts, I always end up buying something expensive as if it would make it a better gift.

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Yeah and it can absolutely be uncomfortable. Think of a girl making out with a guy with stubble, she'll have razor burn on her face afterwards if it's passionate.

Natural hairs have soft, tapered endings. If you trim or shave the hair the part that is up top is cut off and thus thicker and sharper. That can cause irritation when bumping crotches, especially if she doesn't have pubes either.

I can feel it when sucking but I havent noticed it during sex

I'm going to study with this girl I kinda like how can I make the best out of it?

I think it's a good idea to ask the boyfriend. It'll probably create some goodwill, it's a good sign for him that you're not full of ideas on what to give his girlfriend, and you're silently showing him he knows her better than you do in this regard. Even if it's something as mundane/practical as him knowing what their home lacks.

You don't have to make it yourself. I don't know what your region is like but where I live there's a lot of stores popping up that sell nothing but cutesy accessories/toys like pretty reusable water bottles and quirky fridge magnets and candles that throw a shadow in the shape of the Paris skyline. If you know what I mean you can also go to one of those and ask someone working there what their top sellers are, in case the boyfriend has no inspiration either. Ask him though, he'll like it.

There are some really cutesy korean make up things.
Check sokoglam (has free shipping in the US) for some more cutesy stuff, if you'd like!

Thanks

Ladies

How do you feel about guys who would rather wait for a couple months into a relationship before having sex? Good? Bad? Neutral? Insecure?

>where I live there's a lot of stores popping up that sell nothing but cutesy accessories/toys like pretty reusable water bottles and quirky fridge magnets and candles that throw a shadow in the shape of the Paris skyline. If you know what I mean you can also go to one of those and ask someone working there what their top sellers are
She'd absolutely dig these sort of things, I think, but I have no idea if and where there are stores in my country dedicated to something like that, are there any websites you can recommend that deal with these things?
I'm hesitant to actually buy beauty products, because I'm sure I'd get the wrong one (or if I'm unlucky, might send a bad message, I know chicks dig nice soaps but guys don't give those sort of gifts, what if me giving soap translates into a hint about her hygiene?).
What it does remind me is that my mom gave a relative a gift where it was a big assortment of sample sized beauty products and she said both she and the recipient were very happy with that idea.
Does that remind you of anything? if such a thing for Korean beauty exists it might be a top notch gift.

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I'm Dutch actually so most everything I know is probably not around where you live. Etsy is a good place for quirky, more hipster accessories though, and many people sell cheaply.

Having said that some quick googling found me notonthehighstreet.com/spotted/product/citylights-candle-holder for the light I was talking about. I actually have it myself and it is really neat/cute, because of the flickers of the flame it pulses a little and is really quite romantic.

Also beauty products like a sweet smelling body lotion is like giving a guy beer, it's the token gift for a girl if you don't know what to get her. Don't worry it implies anything. Or get her a bath ball or bath oil something that is quite obviously more for pampering than for cleaning.

Girls do you think it's ok for a girl with a boyfriend to hang out with another guy? I asked a girl to the movies and she said she'd love to but also mentioned she had a boyfriend and didnt want things to get awkward. I genuinely wanted to go to the movies because I know she wants to see the movie but I cant help but feel I made things awkward by asking her in the first place. I'd be lying if I said I didnt find her attractive and was starting to have feelings but knowing she has a boyfriend I absolutely am not looking to make a move on her, I genuinely just enjoy her company.

I would love for a guy to not want to rush into sex but I think the frustration would definitely override the positive feelings after at most two months. I am not quick to have sex with someone and think it's a waste to not prolong the initial phase where you are still wondering about each other and even accidentally touching hands is super exciting. But I do want to know if we're sexually compatible before being irrevocably in love (and you can't figure everything out through talking, it's not just about kinks but also about how the guy reacts if something goes wrong for example) and I don't want to keep waiting for the sake of meeting some arbitrary mark. Waiting something like two-six weeks would be ideal for me I guess, assuming we'd see each other quite regularly in that time window.

It's fine.

>notonthehighstreet.com/spotted/product/citylights-candle-holder
Oh hey! that's pretty neat! I might go for that!
How far away is the candle from the wall it 'projects' on? like what's the ideal distance?
Well since I've already established myself as being the guy friend to a girl with a long term boyfriend (and having a bit of experience with it) I'll answer.
The single best way to make a boyfriend not suspicious of you is to be gay, the second best is to actually meet up with the boyfriend and get along well with him regardless of the girl.
With the example of the boyfriend of the girl I'm shopping for, he's extremely over protective and jealous after his previous girlfriend cheating on him, before he met me he was 100% convinced I was making moves on her from what she told him about me.
I met the guy for the first time at a mutual friend's birthday (the girl's best friend) and we hit it off pretty well, turns out he works at a gun range and is just a bit of a, uh, hobbyist, I'm not one myself but he immediately took a liking to me for having the same views as him on gun control and gun 'culture' as it were.
Another example I recall is of going a few years back with a lady friend to a convention where she brought her boyfriend, he was extremely defensive because she was the type of girl EVERYONE fell for and has an army of beta orbiters, her sandal ripped at some point and we split up looking for something to patch it up with, me with her and him alone, we find like a staple gun which my utilitarian ass thinks "sure, this will work fine!", he calls her phone to say he's found something, for some reason I answer it saying "oh yeah we found something t--" and he says "dude can I PLEASE talk to MY girlfriend?", but later during that day we talked between us and he grew to like me.
yo why is this so long, continued next post.

I do think it's okay, but you have to be honest with yourself and realize you don't want to be her friend, you just want to spend time with her because you like her as a woman. Which is fine and natural but you're setting either just yourself or both of you up for unnecessary drama.

Also I have had plenty of male friends throughout life but there was usually a much longer period of just talking, or just seeing each other in groups, then maybe doing something together because it was practical, to eventually meeting up one on one just to spend time. If I like a woman I'll straight up ask her if she feels like grabbing coffee. I wouldn't got to the cinema as a first meet up with a guy as friends.

Yeah I described it incorrectly actually, the shadow isn't really on the wall just on the paper, if you look at the second picture that's really accurate for what it looks like in real life. I mean, lamps that make silhouettes on the wall also exist but I think they are rarer and tend to be more expensive, especially if they rotate from the heat. I also wouldn't know what the official name for it is.

Still though, speaking from experience they are quite sweet and a safe bet also in regards to matching the rest of their style as it's pretty unobtrusive and neutral looking.

They grew easier when they got to know me, because some trust was developed and it's not very difficult to tell apart a "just a friend" and a straight up beta orbiter like I was suspected of being.
Now here's the thing, going on a movie alone with her is pretty date like, and you know what? he's right to be worried, you DO have feelings for her.
>but I'm not making a move on her!
and you might believe that, but subconsciously, you are, or at least hoping that moment will spark something, I've been there, I know EXACTLY how it feels to be "just friends" with your oneitis for your entire teenage years (not saying you necessarily are, but, y'know).
If it looks datelike from a third party perspective, don't do it, otherwise he is 100% right in being worried.
Your only option to see a movie with her but come out honest is if you offer her boyfriend to join you, he might decline but at least he'd think "well, he acknowledges my existence, he might NOT be a beta orbiter".
That being said if he does agree you'll be a third wheel, so unless you can get friendly with her boyfriend it WILL be awkward for you.
If you CAN get friendly with him, than that's great! but realistically, he's right to be worried about you.
Very few guy friends are genuine friends, most guys who are "like a brother to me!" are there to wait in line for the possibility of a breakup or the fairy tale like realization that "the one right for me was right here this whole time!", guys who are worried about guy friends are entirely right unless proven otherwise.
And the only way to prove otherwise is to make friends with them personally, or at least make them think "hey, he's a decent guy".
But from what you described, it's less about proving your innocence and more about deceit.

Girls:
What do you think of bisexual men who have messed around with other men because they were curious? Is it a big turn off or do you not care about it?

I'll still take your word for it, I think it's something entirely up her alley.
Hell, I think I'll get just that! thanks, user!
Does the paper come included? I don't want to show up and go "oh wait, we can't even try it out, whoops"

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I mean I literally know nothing about the guy as I just learned of his existence. I dont know if she's gonna talk to him about going to the movies with me. Aside from this and three more study sessions in the semester I dont think I'm gonna hang out with her though.

It's definitely something you're going to get split opinion on and some women find it a big turn off. There's the taboo/stigma and associations with promiscuity, being "faggy" and what not.

But I want to add that the opposite definitely exists as well and I love me a bisexual man. As long as I feel secure he doesn't actively prefer the male physique or sex with men, I know him to be clean etc it's only a bonus. Not just because I find it superhot but also because from my life experience bisexual men tend to be more in tune with their emotions and more communicative, which I find very important in a partner.

As in ask her to hang out.

Hi dutch girl! I missed you.

On sokoglam you can see some sets of products for all pockets - from 25 to 200$. I tried most of the products in the 50$ one and enjoyed them. You can get a mask kit for 25$ which is pretty neat.
But I like the one the other girl linked, it's pretty nice.

Just for clarity, I bought mine in a physical store so if you google around you might get a cheaper deal somewhere, this was just to show it to you.

Yes the paper definitely comes included, there's a second one in case the first get damaged as well if I remember it correctly. But everything's in there but an actual tealight.

Cheers, happy to help! I'm sure she'll love it. They come in several different cities too, I think even more than listed here.

I wouldn't go out alone one on one with another guy, especially to the movies. I find it disrespectful towards my boyfriend.
I have some close male friends, but we hang out in public or with other friends around normally.

Hi user, that is very sweet of you to say!

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Thanks. Sounds like me because I prefer women over men, but I love the thought of trading oral with a guy. My GF hates the idea though so I've never done it.

Good, I definitely enjoy waiting till we're pretty sure of the relationship.

Girls, why don't you ask any questions in these threads? They're always 99% guys asking questions.

A lot of girls do. Jow Forums is a mostly male site, so it makes sense it's mostly guys who ask questions.

how do i get a fwb? i dont know how to appropriately ask for casual sex. i only know how to get dates. if i flirt too boldly, i feel like im going to get pepper sprayed, but if i act like i do when pursuing a relationship, i feel like that isnt going to get girls horny.

As a girl who never asks questions, it's because I've spent years on this website so I have read a lot of guys' inner thoughts and opinions. E.g. a lot of questions asked here are about sexuality, what women find attractive in men, but men already talk about that quite a lot and quite openly so that is not uncharted territory for me.

Having said that, being able to binge on men's more or less unfiltered thoughts definitely was the attraction for starting to come here to begin with. No actually, it was because the guys I liked thought this place was cool, then it was because I realized I could read men talk about sex/women all day here.

this and a lot of guys seem to ask pointless questions in here that they should already know an answer to such as:
>what do i gift my gf (then says nothing about the gfs interests)

Aiming for a fwb is really, really hard. It is much easier to either find a one night stand or a relationship. For being serious fwbs you want there to be attraction, sexual compatibility, wanting more or less the same thing (e.g. in terms of how often you see one another, whether or not you get tested again, whether or not you use condoms, whether or not you are exclusive) BUT you also need to not desire them for a relationship, mutually.

Virtually all fwbs start organically, like two friends (or people on a date) hooking up drunkenly, expressing the next day that they liked it but don't feel emotional attraction, and continuing to hook up.

Having said all this, it's definitely possible to be bolder while flirting without being graphic. If a girl is going to go home with you for the night she'll (want to) feel adventurous, young, fun, exciting. Make her feel that way - rather than talking about childhood memories or future dreams you tease her, dare her to dance with you, be silly and impulsive together. Anything for which she has to take her shoes off is great. If you feel she's hinting for your intentions or something long term, don't spell out that you're not looking for that, just tell her something like "I'm not a planner but I'm having a great time". If she tries to talk about personal/very serious matters listen just long enough to be polite and then shrug it off with a gentle, upbeat joke or a tired old cliche ("yeah it's crazy how things change") then lighten the mood.

This is why I used to read an advice column

I know a lot of girls don't watch porn or anything like that and as a guy who does it makes me feel very sleazy. Do women think less of men who consume pornography?

Definitely make your flirting more sexually charged, too. You can be clear about what you're thinking off without giving it away (which also isn't sexy in most situations). A single girl who's having a good time in a festive/wilder environment, maybe a little tipsy, is also thinking of sex. You don't have to lay it on thick to let her feel that you are thinking of having it with her. The most exciting for her is if she gets glimpses that you're attracted to her but isn't sure if you're a done deal. Pretty girls are used to done deals and everyone likes a little chase, it's why the will they or won't they stage is so drawn out in most romance, it's just the most exciting part. Huge reward huge risk, a game where something is at stake.

If she says something about her clothes (especially if it's an innocuous comment like "my tights are already ripped"), do a quick but deliberate up and down and tell her she looks great. You can get just about any girl flustered by, if she's asking you something vaguely sexual (like "are you dating x girl") acting like she's a pervert and you just about grasp what she is implying ("so to get this clear, you're asking me if I have sex with x? that's your question right? whether we fuck?") - only do this in a playful, good-humored manner and not with skittish girls, it should be teasing not bullying. Or, if she says something negative about ANY man (actor, guest, whatever) that can be heard as being about his looks, lazily go "oh yeah? so what do you like to see in a man" and look her straight in the eyes. Women are used to crude comments, one-sided rehearsed one liners, much more than they are used to getting acknowledged that they are sexual beings with private fantasies and soft spots and crushes. And most love it when that happens, when you don't flirt at them but invite them to show that side of themselves.

These are just examples and ultimately it's a matter of intuition and practice.

I don't. I think less of men who pay for porn, camwhores, premium snapchats, patreons and things like that because I find it very sleazy. I also don't like men who sext (for example off soc)

Gals, I'm flirting with one and I got her nudes but I can't fix a date cause she seems to avoid the thing
What do?

>tfw remembering the sexual advice column in the Cosmo girls' magazine and realizing in hindsight it was just veiled sex ed

I used to love the idea of men watching porn when I was younger, because I saw it as proof of their sexuality. As a hormonal teenager I couldn't get enough of the idea that just about any man was looking at what I had the real version of, that I could give them what they were fantasizing about. I fantasized about finding porn collections all the time, or catching a guy in the act, it was probably one of my go to scenarios at the time.

Now it's a little different mostly because I've realized over the years that for many men desire for porn consumption =/= desire for sex and in fact porn can even decrease interest in all the messiness of real sex, either physically or emotionally or both. I still love the idea of a man stroking himself to something he finds hot but I am much more aware that many men have an unhealthy dynamic with porn and I'd rather be with a man who doesn't care for it than with someone compulsive about watching it. Though it would still be ideal to be with someone who enjoys porn in a healthy and measured way.

I do not think porn is inherently bad. I do think it makes men more passive about their sexual desire, both in the real world way that it satisfies them enough to not feel burning thirst that pushes them to leave their comfort zone while not satisfying them so much they feel emotionally fulfilled (which is an issue with many guys on here); and in the psychological sense where they learn to get turn ons spoonfed to them rather than letting their mind wander and seeing where it takes them.

Also, if you want to be optimally prepared for sex with a partner, it's best to not always rely on porn and to masturbate to enjoy yourself rather than masturbate to finish (as quickly as possible). Which means going slower, wetter and softer.

If you're having real sex sometimes there will be moments where you feel turned off or just out of it for whatever reason, and you are going to rely on your imagination, your mental ability to see the sexiness in the situation even when it feels mundane, to get hard again and get back into it. Porn doesn't teach you that.

Then there's the fact that porn is a male fantasy - women moaning their head off while giving head, acting like they're coming hard the moment a dick enters without foreplay, like they orgasm from having their nipples licked... It is very much based on male fantasies and has little in common with the sex most women enjoy. Now that is one thing, but it is mostly a shame for girls who grew up in the age of abundant porn, because the real problem starts when THEY themselves don't realize they don't really enjoy sex because the kind of sex they're having isn't right. Or that they (men or women) are putting on a performance in the bedroom rather than being focused on their partner or in the moment.

And this is still disregarding what it does for young guys' penile insecurities.

Basically I have a complicated relationship with porn. I find it problematic, I feel it killed eroticism for a big part, but I also find it hot. I definitely do not look down on men for watching porn. I don't think it's healthy to use porn in certain manners as I mentioned, and that would make a man less attractive to me, but it would not make me think less of his character.

I think less of men that get too into porn. Having favourite actresses and following/tweeting at them are examples.

You didn't mention what the last progress was but if it looks hopeless (e.g. she hasn't responded in a fairly long time) I'd just go with the desperation move tell her you're crazy about the pics, would love to meet up in real life, if not fair enough but then you're going to move on.

Sure there's always a small chance that if you played the long con you could've achieved something you don't with being forward. But imo it is not worth the (emotional) investment and it is a better way of going through life to know where to draw the line, also to preserve basic self respect.

This is why I am loving audio porn. Usually it's at least 10 minutes, but I like listening to multiple of them. It's a slower experience. I hope this isn't too much information but before discovering audio porn I thought I just didn't make a lot of pre cum. But the real problem was that I never had enough time to get excited.

I don't want to search for it but someone is making porn for young people. Like really young people. They want it to be someone's first experience with pornography and they hope it will restore a sense of realness to sex that a lot of people our generation (esp men) have lost or never found.

I'm reposting because the previous thread closed soon after I posted this.
How would you guys feel to find out that the girl you like that you haven't moved past making out yet, masturbates while thinking about being intimate with you.

Extremely flattered. And if you actually find a way to tell me that would give me confidence to try to make some moves on you. (caveat: unless you're not ready or I'm not ready)

Don't worry about details. Audio porn is great, erotica is great, pictures are great. I am not hung up on using nothing but imagination, in real life sex you are also not using nothing but that, it's more about the interplay between a turn on and your own personal sexuality. There's a bit you are given and a bit left to your imagination and being able to spice something up with your imagination is a very important skill to keep a long term sexual relationship functioning.

I also see it in how a lot of guys talk about attraction, like it's the hand of fate that makes them like x body or y detail. And in some part, of course, we don't choose what turns us on. But it's not the whole truth and it is a shame that the realization that you can grow and surprise yourself in this as well seems to not be very alive among young people. And also that you are more likely to enjoy something if you prep yourself mentally instead of being sceptic and expecting it to get you from limp to throbbing hard like a given porn video might. Just because you don't control (and shouldn't want to control) your sexual experiences doesn't mean you can't influence them. If you are thinking about a fight you had with your SO during sex you are also going to enjoy it a lot less than if you narrate how hot their reactions look in your head. Ultimately every experience is made in your brain and you are not a passive victim of your brain, you shape the way you perceive things. Using that to your advantage is HUGE. Almost impossible to overestimate huge and not just for sex, for literally anything at all.

I like the idea of a "kid proof" porn video but I'm afraid that most children will still stumble upon something graphic out of nowhere for the first time.

Last progress? It was the pics themselves and like a few hours ago.
Anyway, I'm going to brute force, not really that fond of playing fiddle just for a few pics, thanks.

It depends what you mean. I'm not going to take it as a sign I should move up to sex, because pre-marital sex is degenerate. But I would take it as a sign you take the relationship seriously, and if I do as well, I would consider proposing or moving in together.

Kind of glad that I found a lot of this stuff out before I've had sex for the first time. I mean I'd still rather have but I'm glad I learned about this stuff.

Isn't there a saying that sex is 90% in the mind? or something like that?

Unfortunately I don't have a very good imagination at all. Without getting too much into it we think it's an actual mental disorder. But I completely understand what you mean.

>Ultimately every experience is made in your brain and you are not a passive victim of your brain, you shape the way you perceive things

literally CBT lol

>pre-marital sex is degenerate
wouldn't you say then that masturbation is also degenerate? Especially female masturbation?

Yeah that's exactly how I feel. I never cared for watching sex acts myself and am really glad for it. The first time I saw a man naked other than my father or being a kid seeing other kids or maybe a glimpse in a movie was a guy I was crazy about who was going to do all kinds of things to me. I don't doubt that any first sexual experience has the potential to be amazing but it still seems a bit disappointing that especially so many guys have seen countless naked female bodies before their first.

Oh yeah, the brain is definitely the most important sex organ. Without arousal everything about it would be disgusting. Think of how the soft, pillowy sensation of fleshy lips up against yours can be heaven or disgusting depending on whose head is attached.

For the record I don't think it matters a lot whether you are especially creative, many fantasies are kind of repetitive to begin with. It's more about a back and forth of energy with input from yourself, rather than being entirely passive. Listening to the audio will give you associations even if you don't actively imagine what the people look like for example.

True true, though it was LSD that drove the message home to me, same difference.

No. Masturbation can't cause unintended pregnancy.

Pre-marital sex is degenerate because of the risk of unintended pregnancy. It's the leading cause of single motherhood, which is the single biggest predictor of whether or not a kid will end up a failure. The children of single mothers are far more likely to fail by every metric; they do worse in school, drop out more often and earlier, are more likely to commit crimes, and those crimes are usually worse, are more likely to have substance abuse problems, are more likely to be the abuser in an abusive relationship, are more likely to sire a fatherless kid of their own, and are more likely to die young, usually violently or from drugs.

Girls:

Is the fact that I am a virgin the reason I find the opposite sex an unfathomable ideal to the prospect of fulfilment?

It probably plays a role, but there's people who even after more experience hold on to the same hope for a deus ex machina in the shape of "The One".

Still though getting more experienced - mostly with relationships - will probably help a lot if not solve the problem entirely.

I see. I thought you were talking from a religious perspective on the issue.

I think it's the media. You're constantly bombarded by lovey-dovey storybook romance BS.

> Single motherhood creates worse kids

This is absolutely a lie and the only people who believe it are a waste of flesh. The US government has created a system of shaming and hurting children of single mothers by cutting access to healthcare, food, education, and other necessary resources to give the children a fighting chance and less stress for the family. It's caused thousands of women to stay with abusive men who emotionally damage their kids that would be better off without them but their mothers had little other options because if they did, they'd leave and start running for political places to get rid of the abusive ass hats who took away their freedoms. It's a downward spiral caused by problematic immature and ignorant males.

So there’s a girl I’m starting to get to know. I was absolutely infatuated, then started moving on when I found out she has a bf. When I gave up on her, I started picking up subtle signs(might be nothing), like a big smile when I walk into the room, eagerness to talk when I try to small talk with her, sitting closer to me in class,etc. we had to interview each other for class, so we met up in a computer lab. Honestly, I was kind of hoping I would lose interest, because she has a kind of unconventional beauty, and it was our first extended 1 on 1 time. Needless to say, she was absolutely charming, there was lots of meaningful eye contact, smiles, and she seemed to really “light-up” when she was telling me about herself. She’s not shy, but a little reserved and keeps to herself. Very friendly too, but I can’t imagine her being that friendly and affectionate towards someone she barely knows. Her boyfriend seems like a cool guy, but he’s older and is a single father. This has me thinking that she’s *maybe* getting cold feet and thinks of me as a backup. I think I did a great job at subtly showing interest during the interview, but I’m not sure how to move forward from here. I’m kind of venting, but I’m also very interested in a female opinion. Should I just disregard that she has a bf and compliment her/make my interest clear? Should I go for “just friends” and hope for a chance? Regardless, I like her enough as a person and would value her friendship, but damn, I want to be with her.

It CAN be degenerate if you become addicted to it.

How do they cut access to those things? Child support is a thing. So is WIC. So are unemployment benefits, which increase if you have more dependents. Public school is free.

Children by single mothers do worse in all countries, by all metrics.
I don't think it is only the mother's fault, and I wouldn't shame a woman for leaving an abusive men, I'm sure it is worse for the children to be with an abusive father than alone with a mother, but single moms are statistically much worse at taking care of a child than two parents, or a single dad.
Lacking a father figure is horrible for both girls and boys, and the poverty that normally comes with single motherhood damages the kid strongly.

oh yes, if I truly liked someone then I would "forgive" (for lack of a better word) them not being a paragon of beauty. I'm not that much of a looker body wise, so I would hope someone would have the same mindset.

Like I have a fairly high standard in porn unless it's some special theme or fetish that I like. But if I liked someone then my standards are a lot lower. At least that what I feel, I guess we'll find out if I ever have any type of sexual contact.

If someone is taken, consider them taken. I don't mean that in a hard, pessimistic way, just you know. Those are the facts. It's hard but try to not overthink it. Everything you mentioned could easily be her being a regular friendly person who treats others nicely, and you'll go nowhere arguing in your head what the truth of the matter is. We are all attracted to beautiful people who make even the most distant strangers feel valued and happy.

Stay in touch and let the natural flow of things happen, if anything. Right now you sound like you're in pure puppy mode! Enjoy it, just don't get all crazy over it!

technically it's lack of another parent, not a lack of a father figure. studies have shown that gay parent's kids are nearly identical to regular families in outcomes.

How do I get a nice, short, little fling going with a woman in her late twenties or thirties?

Single fathers still do better than single mothers, tho. Maybe just because they normally have higher incomes?
But yes, in general a household with two parents is better than one with a single parent, and a household with a single father is better than one with a single mom.

Plus the fact that divorce is already hugely impactful for kids, children are acutely aware of their mother's hurt/damage, the mother can spend less quality time with her kids if she has to work harder to get by, and then there's not just the lack but the actual loss of the father if the child was old enough to be used to having him around.

Women that age don't want short flings. They want to have a ring and some babies and they want it yesterday.

It's not because the parent is a man, it's because men need to be great parents to get main/sole custody. The group of single mothers is much more diverse and in many cases a matter of "eh, dad's even worse".

Its true no matter why the mother is single though. They do worse whether or not the father was ever in the picture at all.

Some of them definitely do

Going to a mixer with a sorority this week. Any tips on how to woo some ladies (or at the very least not sperg the fuck out)?

Bait them into doing most of the talking

Not true. If they get custody is mostly because the mother is dead or she is absolutely fucking horrible, not because the dad is great.
They just tend to do better overall.

There's a huge bias to keep kids with the mom. If both mom and dad are kind of irresponsible but not so much that they're better off going to foster care (which is no walk in the park), you bet they're staying with mom. That's going to affect the stats.

and what are some good questions to do that? i take it i don't want to ask too many boring questions like major, classes, etc.

Flirt but don't "hit on" girls.

serious question, what is the difference?

Start with "Do you like anal?"

What else is going on in their life, why they picked that school/major/sorority/whatever, their interests, etc. Give them enough feedback for it to be an actual rapport and coax them into expanding on whatever it is you're talking about.

Thanks for the response. That was my initial way of thinking when I found out about the bf, but somewhere along the line I let the hope get to my head again. It’s very possible she’s just being friendly. Even one-sided love is a crazy feeling, and after all the emotional struggles it’s caused me, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Saw this girl at the store yesterday, she had this terrified look when I glanced at her. Went to a different store 2day and she was there for some reason and looked even more terrified. What do? I don't want to end up in jail.

Ignore her

I hope none of the guys here are taking these comments too seriously. I don't know the sample size of women who we are getting opinions from, but even if there are general trends among them, there still has to be thousands of answers to these questions that aren't being represented. With all the dudes I have known and been around, there has been an insane amount of diversity, and I see no reason why women would be more homogenized.

That being said, I am going to ask questions of my own.

I was wondering if I could get more input from others about this answer or just elaboration from the one who typed it. I am, personally, one who is extremely picky about women. Not really in a physical way for the most part but by personality standards. I think I have only ever considered a handful of girls, and it was more vague intrigue than it was genuine interest. The point is that it seems you are implying that this sort of notion is bad, but to me, it is the exact opposite. I would say my standards are probably unreasonably high, but I still think there should be some strong basis for a relationship rather than loose similarities. I mean is that not why so many relationships are dysfunctional and the divorce rates are so high?

I was also wondering of the women here, how much do you value physicality(build, coordination, body language/ mannerisms, height, and weight) in your decision for a partner. This could also be answer by the men here as well if they like.

Lastly, what are some sexual acts that the women here would never consider? It doesn't have to be really extreme like blood play or hardcore bdsm, but I am talking about more unconventional things such as prostate massage or male nipple play.

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Flirting is like being friendly but you have romantic intent.

Hitting on someone is stuff like laying on pick up lines and compliments, focusing the conversation too hard and too fast onto sexual stuff.

One of these methods makes you seem like a guy who is cool to talk to and the other makes you seem like a pushy PUA creep.

I am that poster (and to be fair it's a sloppy post) and you misunderstood. What I mean is that many people think getting into a relationship will solve all their issues, and getting more experienced fixes that and makes them understand that's not all there is to it. But there's also a small group of outliers that keep clinging to the idea that their life could do a 180 just because of one person, and if this didn't happen so far, obviously the reason is because no one was "the right" one and if they meet "the right" one everything will sort itself out.

Knowing what you want and not settling for less is good. As long as you are 100% sure that this is what's going on and being picky isn't just a rationalization of not opening up to someone and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

If I don't find a man attractive it's not going to work. Apart from extreme situations like being superobese, there's some physical details that can truly turn me off. Exceptionally bad posture is one, a grating voice/laugh is another, hating their natural scent - but then we're talking about maybe five men in a thousand. I find by far most men physically attractive enough to fall for. I love sleek feminine guys shorter than me, burly men covered in hair and fat, I like guys younger than me, I like men older than me, I like all hair colors, all eye colors, all races. There is no category of men I have no interest in in terms of looks.

If you're talking relatively normal and a hard no... I don't want to be called names, I don't want cum on my face, to be choked, stuff like that. There's also a lot of stuff (including prostate play) I would be willing (or, in this case, enthusiastic) to try but I can't guarantee I would like it as much as I like the idea.

>how much do you value physicality(build, coordination, body language/ mannerisms, height, and weight) in your decision for a partner.
I get more attracted to a man with his personality. On first contact, I'd say it would be 60% attraction and 40% personality and overtime with the guy i rely more on personality.
>build
I dont care as long as he's not ridiculously weak.
>coordination
Im not exactly sure what you mean by this. Explain?
>body language/ mannerisms
He's got to show interest with body language and not talk like a slob. If he doesn't have basic manners when we are out to eat or doesn't thank someone if they held a door open for them is a no.
>height
I'm 5'6, 5'3 is the smallest I would go.
>weight
As long as he is not obese or super thin I dont care.
>what are some sexual acts that the women here would never consider?
Diaper/shit/vomit/blood from the top of my head. I'm pretty open sexually so I'm willing to try new things but those listed are just too gross.
>more unconventional things such as prostate massage or male nipple play.
I know these are examples but I just wanted to say that I find them hot.