I feel extremely lonely and considering suicide. I look into the future and I see nothing positive

I feel extremely lonely and considering suicide. I look into the future and I see nothing positive.

Living in my parents' house at 28, and my friends have their own lives now so we barely hang out everyone in a blue moon.
I'm currently unempolyed, trying to start my own business but it's really hard without capital, so I'm looking for work. And while I do have a degree and have professional experience as a software engineer, it's either remote work (which is just as lonely) or working 9-5 in an office, both of which I hate.
I can't really go out with girls right now because I don't have money nor a place, so my life is in the shitter and that's unnattractive as hell.

My mind is so clouded that nothing feels even remotely positive. I'm crumbling fast and losing all my motivation. I'm going to bed at 7 am and taking clonazepam just because the idea of going to bed and confront my loneliness feels dreadful. Some days it's as if I'm completely detached from the world. Sometimes I look back into my life and everything thing that seemed okay or even good back then, now it looks bitter and sad, so this is tainting my memories too...

Looking forward to a week where I'll have literally NOTHING to do, while my parents have a more active social life than I do... No one to hang out with, no place to go, nothing at all. The very best I can hope for is a skype interview. It breaks me up.

The only thing that keeps me from offing myself is hurting my parents.

What can I do to get out of this miserable state?

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youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o
mediafire.com/file/stl5ctg1ptogszt/MWTD.zip/file
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Anyone please? I wouldn't normally bump my own threads but I'm desperate.

Hey. Do you have any hobbies or creative outlets or anything?

youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

do some manual labor for a week

You can't get out of this miserable state.
It's either
>Kill yourself eventually
>accept your state eventually
>take actions to change this state

Therapy or enlightenment that will make you stop ruminating and take action towards happiness even if the result isn't guaranteed.

Well yeah, when I was younger I had all these projects and ideas (code related) that I was super motivated about. But lately, since I really, really, need money, my mind is set on that, which is a lot less exciting to me. That said, making money is an interesting activity but I have failed all throughout this year.

Aside from that, I used to write. But I don't feel comfortable doing that now that I'm a NEET.


OP here. This hits home badly.

Yes, but WHAT actions? I'm not sure I know what I want. If I knew I'd be doing it right now, but I feel as if any possible life for me will be miserable or that I'm too late to do it at my age.

You want the same as everyone, love, human connection and a goal to work towards (family/money/a personal project)
You are depressed, obviously. A good way to regain some zest is relational: find any clubs or meetings and attend with the goal of meeting people.

>I'm not sure I know what I want. If I knew I'd be doing it right now, but I feel as if any possible life for me will be miserable or that I'm too late to do it at my age.
read Also, what you actually wanted is to get those love without putting efforts.
Evidence being you saying "it's either remote work (which is just as lonely) or working 9-5 in an office, both of which I hate.".

You think your ancestors loved doing what they do?
No, they do it for better life.
Meanwhile, you're just whining and hope changes will come.
And you're even expecting someone else to do your job for you, instead of thinking of the solutions.
So, take the 3rd option away.
Choose 1 from the 2 below.
>KYS
>Accept you're a miserable being

Not having a social circle is a very valid reason to be discouraged, but you are also likely depressed on top of that.

Do these steps for 1 month and make a follow-up thread: (Or email me or whatever if you are seriously desperate and want a coach through the process)

• exercise - the endorphin high will be tremendously valuable to you, and having pride in your appearance will help your mood as well. If funds are too tight to get a gym pass just go for a walk/light jog/lift something heavy at home/etc. Get that fresh air regularly and sunlight!

• diet - cut out as much as you reasonably can of soft drinks, sugar, caffeine, fast food, and greasy trash feel-good food. Make sure you are getting balanced nutrients, vegetables, iron, protein etc. Spending the mental energy to come up with a balanced diet for your tastes/preferences/area/budget/schedule/etc. will be a fun task and get your mind off of your problems and onto creating solutions (for another area but every bit helps)

• a creative hobby - no sitting back and consuming someone else's content like TV, movies, video games, music, twitch or youtube channels. You have to CREATE something from your mind using your own life experiences and inspirations. You can whittle a block of wood into a sculpture or furniture, you can make a short story in an RPG Maker type program, you can create a homage in whatever your preferred form of media is of one of your favorite inspirations you've enjoyed in the past. It's hard to narrow it down because I don't know your circumstances.

• learn a non-digital skill. Like playing an instrument, reading sheet music, fixing a part of a car, laying tile, etc. This can be completely followed step-by-step from someone else's instruction, no creativity needed, but you do need to do something where you have to apply yourself to learn the nuances of a skill you don't yet have.

I guess you can say humans have layers. Surface level advice works on stuff like getting girls and becoming more open, but I don't think there's anything here that can help you with a deeply embedded problem like living with your parents at 28 and having a small social life. That's past the threshold where your mind can actually take stuff in and work on it. At that point this has just become a part of who you are. That's a reality for you in a way, so changing that would be like defacing everything you have known.

You're lucky in that you see this as a problem and want to solve it, albeit desperately. But the thing is, as I stated earlier, nothing here will budge your mindset. You don't think many people have come here before with the same problems and haven't been given the same set of advice? It's a repeating cycle unless the OP kills themselves, accepts it, or better yet, goes out and makes an effort to change themselves.

In short. Get the fuck out of here faggot.

You fricken dummy... no offense. You're only 28, you don't have much to look back on. You have a degree which you plan on using to make your living which is a pretty good place to be at 28. If you actually want to start a business that takes a really big thirst for life, maybe you need to reconnect with what makes you feel alive. If you spend a lot of time alone and indoors that's going to fuck you up completely. I'm 24, live on benefits for a disability, arthritis, i have had no work or education and i have been hooked on pain meds, pot, cigarettes, i lost every friend or love ive ever had. I still find reasons to feel good. The opportunities are endless they're just waiting for you to take them but if you're depressed then it's not going to happen. If you have no family members to connect with then you need to meet some people. In any capacity. If you get good at socializing then you'll be fine. One good thing is that women want a man whose on his own path and succeeding so if you focus on yourself and just get relaxed with socializing then you'll never struggle to find a girl. You need to be less attached to who you are as an ego. Don't tell girls you've lived with your parents all your life. Easy. Any activity outside is good. Small interactions with women will be good. You need to get laid, it's not impossible. But even going to the gym, the pool, the grocery store, the park, you can slow down and take your time and just feel how women perceive you. Get some game. Your brain is full of beliefs that guide you. Some people get so fucked up with their beliefs that they think offing themselves is a good idea. It's heart breaking because you were just led down a back path. Your mind needs repair. One time I was at my lowest considering the same and I finally applied to see a counsellor. She was muslim and wore a burka and i had never spoken to anyone like that before. I told her about my anxiety with women,

i have a disease so im in chronic pain, i dont work, im depressed, everything. ive had pain pill addictions and smoking and drinking. but she had a different belief system. she didnt buy in to any of the superficial shit that scared me about going to see a councellor. she had no judgement for me besides what actually was pure, my sins and shit. it made me see that my brain is just following shitty beliefs of the western world. find new ways to think. sit in a different place in your house. just dont do the same thing over again and dont kill yourself please

Whoa. This isn't a "deeply embedded problem."

OP, do you have any online friends?

This. It's hard to change it but you can do it if you want it bad. You should see a psychoanalyst they are the heavyweights of therapy

Also this. Your value system and beliefs are holding you back,not the objective reality of the situation. Find some people that see you not as you see yourself

28 is past the threshold where his mind can take stuff in and work on it..... reeeeeally....

then i guess everyone over 28 is a vegetable? the human body is an ever changing unit, all we CAN do is take stuff in and work on it. dipshit

Don't jump into conclusions that your situation is unattractive for girls or ppl in general, it may be for weak unworthy girls. I'm in your situation and found a nice lady whom I told her about my insecurities and stuff and she didn't give a fuck because she said I tended her well n.n this also motivated me to want to give her a good life tho she really doesn't need it. So the issue is that you're preventing yourself from finding any motivation man. You're perfeclty fine and I'm typing copiously here because I can relate to you and I assure you that life is bright =) it would be a loss if a good person like you committed suicide

I always wished I found a supportive waifu. It'd be the only thing that would motivate me to take action.
How did you meet her?

A few words. I used to have a life, working studying, living on my own, having a girlfriend and a social circle. Until I was about 27. That all changed last year that I went into cocoon mode. I'm not sure why but I had some sort of metal breakdown but the "solution" was way worse, and now I'm trapped in a negative viewpoint of the world which I didn't use to have (or at least not this bad) two years ago.

Some people here are giving very good advice here and some are complete assholes, I'm not sure why.

Highly interesting. Usual fuckups are gradual and start early. Why do you threw it all away? Did you stop work/study and broke it off with the gf?

Hey thanks, thanks a lot for the comment. I think you hit good point here, that people who have not been in this position haven't faced. About preventing myself of finding motivation. It's absolutely true.
It's a vicious cycle.

Get disheartened with the 9-5 and the big city -> quit job, move to your parents house and try to start your own business -> lose your daily activity and your social fuel -> suddenly feel guilty about having moved back home -> lose motivation to start your buisiness -> procastinate -> start losing focus and attention span progressively -> become afraid of finding a partner because you think no girl will accept you because of your current situation (no job, no car, no money, parents house) -> willing to go join an activity because everything costs money -> start feeling isolated because everyone has a job and socializes while you have nothing -> desperation

I think I can attribute everything bad to my personality and a string of not-so-well thought out decisions. I'm quick to go into panic mode, and I should've known better that after months, this was going to get to this point. Problem is that now I have some sort of "nightmare goggles" that doesn't let me see things as they really are. But I guess that I'll fake it till I make it.

>Why do you threw it all away?
Pretty much, but I didn't see it as "throwing it", but rather progressing. With my gf is a long story but basically we wanted different things, and it so happened that I had just got my degree and was dreaming of starting my own business with my savings (which I had some at the time) so this big change came all suddenly.

Looking back, yes, it was a total fuckup. My business idea was not that great, spent all my savings, and my routine is a mess. Never again will I make as many fundamental changes to my life all at once.

here mate, some audio for you. mindful way through depression and some affirmations. might help but try and get counselling too.
mediafire.com/file/stl5ctg1ptogszt/MWTD.zip/file
mediafire.com/file/686p3ey8rl47lxc/Up_From_Depression.zip/file

Fellow 28yo dude, living with my parents as well. I also feel quite lonely, but, I do keep the goal of an early retirement in mind to keep me focused (thanks to saving money being at home and having a decent job as a PE teacher). Really, hobbies do help. As goofy as it sounds, I look forward to my once per month lego purchases (I am an ot and pt Star Wars fan and joined a Facebook group for lego star wars army building). This keeps me just slightly socially active, and it is really fun to share with the group. I also exercise everyday, and think of keeping up my physique as a way of helping to motivate my students for lifetime exercise. If you like exercise, Star Wars, horror movies, Lego, etc... I'm open to talk.

Are you 1488 too? I can help

Wow op we’re basically the same person.
Recently I’ve started going to the gym and not drinkining any soda, only drinking water.
It doesn’t seem to be changing anything, but I guess I don’t feel like as much of a waste of life. It’s at least something I can feel that I hold aboveboard others.

>legos, star wars, other commercialized garbage
Jesus Christ just kill me now.
I feel the same way as op here and it isn’t hard to just hate everything when every “hobby” or interest the lowest common denominator have is this commercialized jewy crap that is designed to just exploit your wallet and to conform to a nice global consumerist citizen who gets to choose between Spider-Man and the Hulk. Wowee

Yes, but im black.

Hahahaha

I did the exact oposite of all these thing then little birdie happiness landed on my boat.

Until it fucking flee and left me depressed. Now I do everything in this video.

Happiness is a false God.

What's your political persuasion?

>And while I do have a degree and have professional experience as a software engineer

You have the highest paying degree outside of medicine and law.

You can EASILY make 60k MINIMUM based on what you just posted.

That is far more than enough to move out.

So youre just 88. Thats okay too. Jew aware people need to help each other. Try not thinking about politics and the ZOG media all day, it consumed my life too much. Sometimes just take some distance and try to enjoy the little things in life like doing things with family and smiling with them.

Oops meant to tag

If you work in the city, avoiding the media Jew is impossible. It’s miserable.

I know I know, just try it anyway. Not saying you should force bluepill yourself but trying to make it easier for yourself. Make a plan in the meantime, work out, financial plan, eat healthy, stop porn/drugs/fastfood, get a gf and kids, move to the country side or if youre really feeling tribal look for what country your ancestors are and try visiting it, maybe move there?

Yeah, tomorrow have an interview for a 120k job, and I live in a third world country where that pretty much equates to being a millionaire.
I'm still absolutely miserable... I probably should get therapy

I'm not Jow Forums tier, but I am white yeah

>watch videos of nyc, Paris, London, etc from back in the day, looks nice
>visit places today, infinite brown people
I’m too young to feel comfortable creating a man/family cave and just giving up on the world.
I only drink water now and I also go to the gym.
I’m still not happy. The 9-5 makes it a lot worse.
I’m not sure what else I can do user.

yo man. just gonna spitball some ideas that may help.

firstly, do ONE thing that sucks daily. it's not necessarily about the thing, but the doing of the thing. for me recently, it's been wim hof breathing/cold showers. there's probably myriad benefits to CWE, but it's more about putting myself up against a challenging task and completing it.

so i've taken various sleep medications over the past five years, though currently don't. why don't you start popping your clonazepam at 10/11, lay down, and listen to a podcast, JP lecture, or w/e as you drift off? i get the allure of night-time meanderings, where you can fully immerse yourself in the digital world without having to deal with other humans. but the fleeting pleasure of that time is not worth the impact of waking up at noon or at 9:00 on 4 hours of sleep. a klonopin script is like a superpower that allows you to determine your exact sleep time. of course, there's the risk of addiction + WD but i assume you're aware of that.

i would put off worrying about romance right now. place your attention toward rigorously tackling the sticking points in your life. realize that your life is quite literally on the line. resultingly, so is your parent's well-being. if you wanna work on the social component, find some friends (XX, XY, w/e). or just go hangout in a place containing people (walk in a park, waltz the mall, get a gym membership, etc.)

lastly, any job is preferable to no job. sounds like you have a degree that makes lucrative work a real possibility. you should really get over the 9-5 thing. it's not about a euphoric experience or loving every moment, it's about having a reason to wake up, and saving money for moving out/your business. many americans work 8-6 doing manual labor or fast food or janitorial shit. you can't expect that you're just exempt from yawn-inducing office jobs because you don't like them. in your case, it's a means to an ends.

gl, man. wish the best for ya.

How can I get into this field without a degree? Can I become code monkey or any other IT job at my 30s? I hate maths btw

Not op, but I sometimes take melatonin and it’s supposed to help with sleep if you’re low on it.

Hey man, OP here. Thanks for this advice. Agreed on the 9-5 being a reason to wake up. It definetly is, now that I think back on that period of my life.

My recommendation is you don't. It is and will still be a profitable field but unless you genuinely enjoy it, it will burn you out.

When I was very young I started with this, not because of programming itself but for the sheer posibilities it opens up. So many ideas that you can turn into life.
Now that I'm older, most of those ideas revolve around making money and I've failed at that, but that passion is still down there, somewhere.

Try watching a basic html/css/js tutorial on youtube and see if you like it and get excited about all the things that you can create with just that simple stack of technologies. If you don't, I'd suggest looking somewhere else.

Creating a stable cell is not running away from society, it is building society, literally. Strong families create strong communities, create strong towns, counties, nation etc. The only way to get out of the 9-5 is to work for yourself, which involves taking risk. Other ways to look to it are taking a 9-5 that you enjoy more, and if thats not an option try looking at the good things in your job. Focus on colleagues/activities you like and ignore the negative parts