To what extent is having a large amount of previous sexual partners a risk factor in a relationship? Why is it risky?
If you were evaluating a girl with a large amount of partners in her sexual history, what would be some other traits that would make her more acceptable in a relationship?
I am wondering this about a girl who I am into and who is into me...
People should have similar partner counts because, generally speaking, it reflects that both parts of the couple put similar values on sex and it heads off a lot of insecurity/jealousy issues. If you're not talking about things like STDs, "risk" is an oversimplification.
People are going to try to claim that women who have fucked a lot are more likely to cheat, but that's not true. Plenty of people fuck like animals while they're single, and when they meet someone special, devote themselves to them. The one person. The only problem is that most dude are insecure and feel like they can't meet all of a woman's needs, especially if she has other experiences to remember and compare with.
All I can say to that is...Just fucking try to meet her halfway. If she says she wants to be eaten out without having to ask first, just do it. She's not more likely to cheat, she's just more willing to drop your ass if you're lazy in the sack. Way too many dudes find that existentially threatening.
I consider it acceptable to date if she has only slept with guys she's had relationships with. Maybe one random is okay, situation dependent.
But as a guy I'll never actually know and watch for red flags.
It's mathematical undeniable evidence that the individual will leave you. It's a likelihood thing. If the number is higher, the higher it is the less likely you will be the last partner and the more likely you end up diseased of which will damage your chances of ever finding a faithful partner.
She will leave you because you're no better, and likely not as good even, as the last couple dozen guys she was with. How narcissistic a man to think you'll be good enough after all that dick she had. They weren't, why you personally?
Have fun hot shot.
See what I mean? Men are inherently insecure and feel like instead of putting in the work to please their partner, they should just shame women for having a basis of comparison to begin with. Men are big chickens and they try to slutshame instead of working on themselves.
But this is just slut-apologizing. No man should feel guilted into staying with a girl whose sexual history makes him uncomfortable.
People who want to conduct slutty lives need to be able to buck up for the consequences of that, which is that faithful people will rightfully see you as having weak or compromised values regarding sex and monogamy.
Why is it that it's always slut apologists, polyamory apologists, etc. who have to come out and fight people who say they're uncomfortable with high partner counts? Like, is preference so fucking dead to you people?
Christ. Go fuck everyone on your own schedule, leave us the fuck out of it. Gatdam. If we're undesirable to you, why can't you just fuck off and leave us alone?
whats with asians and the obsession with looking like a baby alien
They can't help it. Their genes are "Look 16 until 50; look 90 literally every day after 55"
Genetics a rude
Men are supposed to be the one with more sex partners as they get diseased less easily and need to learn how to please a woman. Men are easier to please sexually. A female needs no practice.
Lock and key analogy will eternally bitch you the fuck out.
Pro:
-they can probably handle most of your BS without needing time out
Con:
-they have deeper psycological needs that led them to this behaviour in the first place
- you are competing against ghosts for highscores in every aspect of prowess
-the temptation is higher for them to dump you when things get rocky
-if they feel very used, they will fight to make things difficult because they dont feel they deserve to be happy withyou.
These are legit risks i have seen in several IRL couples. Highlught them to her out before you commit to a relationship. Ask her if she has any triggers. This helos you both be extra considerate with each others hangups.
"Lets just see where this goes" is irresponsible, thinking with your nuts and ovaries. Throw all the cards on the table, be honest, so when your bullshit floats up she's not taken by surprise, and viceversa.
Hell yeah this thread again.
Anyways if you're gonna live your life based on graphs you saw on Jow Forums once about how roasties are bad, you're gonna die a virgin and alone and miserable.This is exactly what I mean.
Incorrect.
Not all men are bothered.
As for "putting in effort" , promiscuous male anons will agree that it is usually the man who puts in > 70% of work in bed.
Got a question for you, femanon. When is it ever acceptable to call a woman a slut? There's a threshold for calling someone Hitler and having it stick; any such threshold for highly promiscuous women? I might call them high pros, but they dont take money, which seems kinda worse.
To be fair, hetero mansluts that play the Bad Boy card to get a fortnightly pumpanddump, i just call Evil Men.
Unironically this
It's just what the constant sex represents; it's regardless of her being a slut or some term like that, it's a question of what kind of a void she's filling, why, and if that's even remotely sustainable.
Buddy's right. You need to find someone you can communicate clearly and truthfully with. Rather than partners or not, you should find someone who wouldn't be disgusted with you for asking or expressing concern, since you are asking and do seem to express concern. If it's two or twelve, the last thing you want is someone who's going to take this holy crusade up your ass because you have your own preferences and standards.
I won't comment on all the psyche stuff he posted, but that Anonymous has a point: you should be concerned with why sex has become the commonality it has, given the relative uniqueness of that situation in any given group of people.
Make those standards for yourself, and set them accordingly, and judge by them accordingly. Living according to a bunch of other shit is just going to frustrate you at some juncture or another.
Consensual sex isn't bad and having it doesn't make you a bad person. I wouldn't call anyone, regardless of gender, a slut. I don't like sketchy behaviors like emotional manipulation or pressuring drunk people or cheating or rape, but those aren't inherent to fucking a lot of people - those actions are messed up on their own, for their own reasons.
That's why I wouldn't use slut. Period.
>vapid sluts detected
I'm a man you dumb incel.
Okay, so noted.
Agree, manipulators are the worst.
Agree, "slut" has no value outside of moralpolice.
Add: Closed groups may use it among themselves to enforce the (sexual) norms of that group; using it on society at large is quite unfair because society doesnt get/need/want any of that group's benefits.
>"I wouldnt call any one of either gender a slut"
>Gets called slut
>"But i man, you stooopud"
>As if men are never sluts
My dude, your bias is showing.
I didn't say any of that. I'm the second post you quoted. Get a grip.
It doesn't mean she's filling a void anywhere except physical. Some people are unironically whole and mentally sound and capable of having many sexual partners and experiences without becoming damaged.
The problem is the boys of Jow Forums are typically already socially lost and isolated so the norm is the exact opposite. And who wants to be reminded that the problem is themselves when they can just jab at the successful?
In my experience girls who have large body counts have some issues like daddy issues. Not always but definitely common
I'm the one that greened you not him presumptuous whore.
>Why is it risky?
Having more sexual partners increases the risk of contracting and spreading sexually transmitted diseases. It also sets a certain level of expectation with every new partner which can complicate things.
>If you were evaluating a girl with a large amount of partners in her sexual history, what would be some other traits that would make her more acceptable in a relationship?
If they could conduct themselves like a normal person I probably wouldn't care. A double digit partner count is a major red flag already though.
Don't ask, don't tell. If they don't have any STDs and aren't cheating on you then it doesn't matter how many sexual partners they've had.
If it does bother you though, just avoid fake looking girls who enjoy getting drunk, they have always fucked a lot of dudes.
gonna need some sources, cuccboi
take your girl out for dinner. two tables over a bunch of guys are laughing cause they know she's sucked them all off.
I just use good ole pops advice in regards to this.
for every guy a girl sleeps with you add 4 feet(height)
If she can't fall from that height without getting hurt, then thats too many dicks.
It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is if she's faithful, and disease free. The number of partners doesn't matter, and getting hung up over that will ruin any relationship you have, especially as you get older.
>The only thing that matters is if she's faithful,
This heavily depends on how many past dudes she has to compare you to.
I get the idea of this shithole is to fuck with people and troll them with bad advice, but it really doesn't depend. If she wanted those cocks, she could have them. If you're that insecure, you're not ready for a relationship
Well it all depends. If youre just dealing with a nymphomaniac then that's fine. If she's just using sex as an escape from psychological issues then hell no.
Actually it does in general. See pic below.
And the biggest issue would be insecurity. A nympho has a lot of sex because sex is fun. A whore has a lot of sex, as an example because "i feel ugly but i must really be beautiful since guys always fuck me, its not enough for them to say im attractive, they have to prove it.". So lets see what some negative outcomes would be if say you got into a really bad argument with either: Nympho would refuse you sex for a while and emasculate you with a giant dildo. Whore on the other hand will go fuck your bestfriend, get pregnant with his kid, and come home to kiss you with dick breath. Dont date whores.
Its not that a lot of sex leads to psychological issue, its actually the opposite thats going on. You should just avoid people with issues no matter how the issues manifest.
Its not the opposite at all. A lot of sex idicates a traume an urge to shift bad memories into something plesurable.
Like daddy issue
Rape fantasies
BDMS
Etc
Wanting a lot of sex or weird sex doesnt creat a problem, its already a problem that is created by something else.
Also for males its much different cause for us the testosterone mainly drives the urge to have sex.
Exactly what i just fucking said, jackass.
People are definitely allowed to have preferences and make their own choices.Your life, do with it as you please.
But when your choices are based on insecurity and shitty logic, people are going to point that out because they are terrible reasons for making a decision.
How weak do you have to be to refuse to judge bad behavior? It's so pathetic when people throw away the very thing that distinguishes humans from animals, the ability to make higher-order conceptual judgments, just for the sake of, what? Protecting someone's fragile feelings? Delusionally defending their own unsound perception of the world?
An instance of consensual sex isn't bad. But a repeated pattern of consensual sex with multiple partners and no underlying emotional connection or intimacy is bad. Just like eating a pint of Haagen Daaz isn't bad. But eating 3 pints a day with no underlying nutritional need is bad.
>inb4 food analogy
Wow, that's good advice. It even scales for the girl's weight. A skinny, fit girl could survive a higher fall, so you should be more lenient, whereas a fat girl would break her ankles falling from one or two dicks' height.
I think the one time I crushed on a slut and tried to make it work, she kinda looked down on me for being "naive".
I liked her because we were similar, though. We both had our lives dumpstered by malevolent people. She was cute and nerdy, with a ginger niece she adores. I'm a ginger,
and I know she uses rubbers religiously, so if she changes her mind and decides to settle down, I wouldn't mind being that guy.
Multiple studies have linked partner count to marital dissatisfaction, and studies on male mice showed that the brains of at least male mammals contain synapses which shrink and vanish after their first time, which we can assume are probably important.
For practical reasons you're gonna want a virgin girl, if you can manage it. Always evaluate the risks.
STD's. Thats the only one.
It is a risk factor, but so are plenty of other things. Marrying someone much older or younger, much richer or poorer, someone less (or more) educated etc are also risk factors. Ultimately you still have to make your own judgment, statistics aren't going to tell you how to live a good life.
>Why is it risky?
If you group people who have in common that they fucked relatively many partners, you're going to see common traits like above average spontaneity, impulsiveness, thirst for adventure, being more extroverted etc. Among these people are most definitely people who would have a much harder time with monogamy than someone who is naturally not thrill-seeking and is fine living a quiet life. Marriage is monotonous.
There's also other factors, e.g. life circumstances that can make someone into a less stable adult (coming from a broken home, having been through trauma, dealing with mental illness, being addicted to drugs) tend to have sexually "acting out" as a symptom. This applies especially to women who have a much easier time using sex with randoms for escapism.
>what would be some other traits that would make her more acceptable in a relationship?
Look at her ability to invest in the long term. What's her relationship history, has she been in honestly committed longish relationships where she sacrificed and didn't bail at the first hiccup? Can she maintain a friendship for years or does she get bored of people or is bad at keeping in touch? Is she someone who's always wanting to switch jobs, travel, do something other than the day to day routine? How's her confidence, is she secure in her attractiveness and can she be on good terms with a man who's obviously not attracted to her? Does she actively desire a committed, serious relationship or did she just fall in love with you and wants to be with you for that sake?
You get the idea. Look at the overall patterns. If those don't look good, I wouldn't take the risk that you're going to be the first exception.
This is a really good post.
I was about to write down an extensive thing, but basically this is what I'd write.
Thank you for your response. You actually answered the questions really well