Tldr; How do I deal with the thought and fact that my sister will lose her virginity?
Background: mom had me at 16 with my dad, and then my (full) brother when she was 22. Shortly after my mom and dad divorced. Mom remarried about 5 years ago. She has had two kids since; my (half) sister who is now 4 and (half) brother who is 2.
So, in essence, I am 22 and my sister is 4. I not only have contend with the fact that I won't ever have my own family, I also have to deal with my paternal feelings to her. I will be nearing 40 when she's wrapping up high-school, well after she's lost her virginity. I don't think I'll be able to handle that, after watching her grow up from a baby to a whore, in any other way than cutting contact. I have already accepted I'll be the weird uncle or whatever the stereotype is but I just hate seeing everything I once enjoyed being destroyed.
It was to be expected, but for as cold a person I am, this might do me in.
I might just end my life before it gets any worse
Handling
The only other option I've thought of is capitalizing on her by encouraging her to be a camwhore or perhaps just a regular prostitute. At least then someone in the family could have money
Haha what the fuck? Do people really think like this?
Yes. I hate wasting time, and by being emotionally invested in something(one) for several years, only for it(her) to turn into something I can't love any longer really sucks.
Thanks op. Now whenever i see "anal sex gives you ass cancer" threads ill remember your post, imagine it came from a mind like yours and not feel so insulted.
I hope your mom keeps you away from the kid, preferably throw you out of the house.
unfortunately, it looks that way.
Therapy will help.
It will help you with many of the issues that you clearly have, but it will also help you deal with your original question, if that's still a problem at that point.
If you have paternal feelings for her, she losing her virginity imeont be an issue you found dumb fuck. At best, you are bad at being a parental role model. Grow up.
I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean.
I don't get why. I want what's best for her but the absolute reality is that she will be corrputed and and fail to be innocent.
List some of the problems
I get that it is the goal to have kids. I get it. But fucking seventy different guys between high-school and college graduations isn't something I cannot take issue with.
It's probably best if I get rid myself of all feelings towards her and the rest of my family
If you can’t handle the thought of her fucking around, including the bad times she will also experience. Then yes, you shouldn’t be there for her because you would add toxic to her life. Also do not have children until you’re okay with these ideas.
I mean, I already said there are two options. 1) is cutting ties and not investing any more into her. 2) is encouraging her to be a whore and at least make money off it. Since making this thread, I think #2 is better
Bold of you to assume she'll be a whore when she grows up, she's only 4. Get some help OP.
Is it bold? I mean, yes, I'd normally agree. But she already acts like a college girl. It's pretty gross and there's not much I can do (as she's not my kid) other than ignore it entirely or encourage it
Assuming that your four year old sister is going to grow up to be more reprehensible than yourself shows an unhealthy pessimism towards others and narcissism about yourself.
Considering the loss of virginity, a mostly immaterial thing the loss of which has no impact on health, to be so terrible you couldn't care for your sister afterwards. You're causing yourself psychological distress over something utterly harmless.
You are considering killing yourself because you don't want to live in a world where humans use their reproductive organs.
These are issues for which you should seek therapy. You don't have to be the weird uncle. You can be the cool uncle, or the distant uncle, or whatever you want to be, once you leave these psychoses behind.
>But she already acts like a college girl
OP SHE IS FOUR YEARS OLD GET OVER YOURSELF HOLY FUCK YOU CAN'T HONESTLY BE THIS ABSOLUTELY SHITTINGLY STUPID
Why does it have to be an either or thing?
...you’re auristic. Of course, why am I even surprised. Please leave your family alone.
Look, I used to thing people change, but everyone I know in my family, myself, and "friends" have all remained the same people. Sure, we say different shit, but personalities are largely innate.
I'm just being realistic with myself. The chance of her becoming a respectable woman and forming a stable, loving, and monogamous relationship early in her life is so low, that I think it's better to assume/expect the worst and prepare for that, than hope for the best and be more than likely disappointed.
It's not the virginity per se, it's everything that comes with it. I have no problem with people having sex just to have it. I would just like to imagine people close to me can be held to a higher standard.
The killing myself bit was an overstatement, I admit, but the fact is I won't be able to view her as a person worthy of respect if she goes down the route I'm envisioning. My mom has been with at least 7 guys, so don't think I respect her either. She's human, and I appreciate what she does, and I "love" her, but she doesn't get any special marks. And it's also different because I wasn't able to influence my mom's decisions. If my sister becomes something detestable, I will partially blame myself. I believe full well in individual agency and whatever. It is her body, no doubt. To just accept mistakes when they could easily be avoided isn't something I'm willing to do
The only choice you have, it seems, is to fuck her yourself and take that chance to disappoint you out of her hands. She’ll only squander that gift of innocence with some smelly coon in the end, so at least if you take her cherry, it won’t have been wasted on an inferior person. Once she’s seen things your way, she’ll probably only be attracted to adequate specimens of men and marry a banker and have good, respectable white children.
Do it for her, user. It’s the only way to save her virtue and your peace of mind.
On the one hand, you think your sister will change irreparably after sex. On the other hand, you think her personality is set at 4 years old and will not change?
You mention anecdotally that you have friends and family that you think have the same personalities as when you were children. You say that you believe in her agency as a human being, but assert that she will make mistakes, by having sex for the sake of sex, which is beneath your 'higher standard', even though you say you are ok with people fucking for the sake of fucking.
It seems like you've shaped your view of others to support your own depressive world view.
I'm just saying I'd like to hold people I can influence to a higher level. I can't influence my mom, my dad, my friends, and so on in the same way I can my sister. Yes, there's no contradiction between saying people have agency and disagreeing with what they do with it. My higher standard is subjective. And it's not that I think she'll change; she'll just destroy any delusions I had about her.
What is your higher standard?
You said you 'have no problem with people having sex just to have it', but you also call dealing with your sister having sex accepting 'mistakes when they could easily be avoided'.
Why is your sister having sex for sex's sake a mistake? What do you want people to do?
I see your confusion. I do not have a problem with *people* having sex for the sake of it. I don't view my family and those I care about as *mere* *people*.
And by, "not having a problem," I mean if they want to, let them. This doesn't preclude my judgement of it. But there isn't much point in me judging every average person on that one criteria, and they do so much more that is unworthy of praise, that I simply view the average person as unworthy.
In the context of people I care about, I want what's best for them. I can see what unstable families do (I'm a product of one), I see what fruitless lives people live chasing pleasure and money, and I see how quickly things can wrong after one slip up.
The mistake isn't in the act, it's in the reasoning/motivation. If she, or anyone, loses their virginity or simply has sex with some random no-name, or some roided up jailbird, I have to seriously question their thought process. If they have sex, or wait to have sex, with someone worthy of praise or respect, I then value the person who waited more than the imprudent person.
So, if, as I believe will happen, my sister goes the route of disrepute, I will be more upset than some random Instagram whore doing the same
So the distress that started this thread is entirely a result of your prediction that your four year old sister will have sex with someone you don't approve of, sometime around the year 2030?
Hello from Japan. It's 1 30am here and I'm going to bed. I think the distress you're causing yourself is a waste of your time. But it doesn't matter. By the time your sister is old enough to know that penises can get erect you will have long forgotten this thread and you and her will be different people.
I disagree, but thanks for your diagnosis. Goodnight, jap
You're only 22. It's far too early for you to decide you will never have kids.
It's not about deciding. It's about knowing. I don't waste time pretending a woman will ever take an interest in me. And I don't intend on making enough money to afford a surrogate. I want kids, believe me. But I can't simply manifest them and deal with them myself.
You're not making any sense. You write as if you could know the future. Do you also know the future lottery numbers? Then use that to get rich.
Hahah, le witty comeback. It's more akin to asking a rock to talk and expecting an answer.
Unless you’re so ugly and fat that you give off a vibe of “leave me alone I’m digesting” in public, i wouldnt be so pessimistic. Chances above chances you’ll get with a fat girl who hates herself and her father.
No. I'd rather be alone than deal with that, which is the other half of the equation. On one side, I want kids that have a good chance at living a better life than me (which involves finding a mentally and physically attractive woman, at least to some degree), and on the other I'm unwilling or simply unable in some regards to meet the demands of such women and won't settle for less.
But I do (I think) give off such a vibe. It wasn't originally intentional, but has become over the years. I want to be left alone and not tempted by the low hanging fruit that are most people.