Depressed people, why are you depressed?

I have no money, no friends, no job, no dignity, am fat and ugly, am male, am stupid, believe in nothing as a militant agnostic, don't have the files I want backed up backed up, no booze/drugs even, when booze stomach nearly always gets damaged and have to stop for weeks or even a month or so, bad genes, the state I live in is one of the worst ones for an introverted nighttime personality, I'm turning 30 and can't get along with anyone past HS/college age, college/hs age doesn't like older guys, my dick is little, my anus has piles, I'm getting random joint issues randomly, my hair is ever thinner, I have silver highlights, I started going gray by seventeen, I got my first pile by twenty, I have never worked, I have only had one relationship, I'm ADD, have bad vision, I'm ethically opposed to this of which is to me a backwards society, and I suck at video games.

Above all I need money and haven't had any for the past seven/eight years. Last new laptop I bought out of a store still had XP. It has long since died, though I still have a laptop from 05, I'm afraid to use it and only do so in emergencies.

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Jesus christ, where do you live?

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Some shit place in FL. I hate the sun, the bus stops running at basically 4 because you're stranded if not heading back home at be off of it by six pm, it doesn't run but every two hours towards the terminal where I live, sleeping outside is illegal type of area, even walgreens and starbucks closes by eleven, the nearest convenience stores by 9:30 PM, it's a shitty place. Polk. The Empire.

We spend 75 percent of tax money on police here. Nothing but old people in FL. The rules I could write a paragraph about as to why FL is a shit state but won't because really the weather is what makes it shit even if I didn't live in a podunk city. I don't stop sweating until it's in the 50s and am poor so walk everywhere and have chaffing scars.

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>havent gone to work the last 2 days, called in sick
>spent the days in the dark, sleeping most of the time barely eating

Haven't even checked my phone in the 2 days because i texted my Ex

I'm personally beating myself up because of that, because i don't know where to go in life with almost 28

I understand, South FL is even worse, there's hardly anything to do because all the good stuff is in rich folk areas and ofc it's expensive and the spics and nogs have turned my part of town into a shithole. There's hardly any bars, no young whites like myself besides in the community college, all the good bars require driving and ofc DUI shit makes it not worth it and I don't want to spend $30+ just to get on a uber. Fuck me I just want to move to North Florida and just have my land and be left the fuck alone.

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>I have autism and studied game design.
>When I had to give a presentation, I would try to project my voice and give some extra intonation.
>The audience kept acting insulted and I didn't know why.
>Try to adjust what was wrong based on feedback.
>Got told I sounded condescending.
>Didn't know what it was, kept asking for clarity.
>Get snapped at.
>Everyone kept beating around the bush, I looked up what it meant but never got a clear answer out of Google, either.
>People didn't stop the passive-aggressive comments and snarks at me even when I apologized and pleaded for clarity. "You figure it out!", "Do you think I'm stupid?!", "Are you serious?! Do you seriously not know?!" This went on for two and a half-years, sometimes in unrelated situations.
>Asked for feedback from a senior, he just told me to stop talking like that.
>Gave presentation. Teachers: "It sounds like you've learned your lesson."
>"I'm afraid I don't know what lesson you are talking about."
>They sigh, roll their eyes, and turn their backs to me.
>This went on through the entire college.
>Finally graduated, couldn't find a job.
>Therapy, IT-training, communication coaching
>Realize that my way of acting was bumfuck annoying even though I asked why people were upset.
>I did these things to show empathy, to prevent being the autistic robot, to show that I cared and tried to think with them, to be useful, to provide something.
>I didn't do anything right, instead I stayed to be the drooling retard that I tried not to be.
>I didn't get along, learned, improved, or got any confidence in my ability regardless of my efforts to improve. I feel like I wasted my college years and that I will never learn if I ever make such a mistake again. You need empathy and communication skills to be a designer and this shows that I don't have them.
>I can't program well, I don't know what I'm doing, I want to quit my dream, I had suicidal thoughts before I turned 30. I feel like such a loser.

The only three states i like that I"ve read about are Alaska, Oregon, and Maine. Maine is white trash like FL and it's bible belt, so that's a no go, Alaska is no go for obvious reasons (such as it rejecting SSI even more than the other 49 states do), and so Oregon is the only nice state. My main gauge of that is it is the only blue winger state that has no laws to allow for dry counties to be implemented and also simultaneously is a legal recreational weed state. The other states don't even do those two things. It's amazing people don't look this up and realize this. Other states you faggot enable by living in.Nevada does, but is right winger, and I've had enough of that white trash king of the hill type of faggot after living in FL and living on the Internet of which what goth tier weeb would like rednecks even if not having lived in the middle of nowhere in FL? I mean really.

It's Oregon or I just sit with a hunting rifle pointing out of a tiny hole of a van some day. Maine and Alaska are colder and both have the weed, but Oregon just seems nicer. The other states can go fuck themselves.

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Me personally I just want to stay in FL because imo it's the best state I know and every other state is either just unknown to me or worse, have no concept of human rights like NY, IL, or CA

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Nothing has made me feel a sense of meaning in years. I've never felt desired or adequate, I feel disregarded. This has led to me isolating myself which has made me strange.... And depressed.

it's shit like this that makes me despise democracy even more

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In Cal you can smoke weed, in NY they say you get on SSI easier than FL though statistically I've read it's the same, I have nothing to say about IL.

Why you think FL is nice when it puts you in jail for 5 years over salvia, when the rest of the literal USA gives less shits about it, along with it having three strikes your out law, and other gay laws, I don't know why you think FL values rights. It doesn't. You're subtly right wingering at me. Guns don't do you any good. IL was on Obama's side, NY is left winger and so is obviously Cal. You're right wingering aren't you?

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Social Anxiety

Yes I am because at the end of the day it isn't right wingers who want my race dead, ruining my community with shitskins, pushing for faggotry, ruining relations between men and women, making jobs pay less and less because you want votes so you let in third worlders with no sense of decency and standards work like burros for nothing
Fuck you buddy, if there's one thing that will make me less depressed it's bathing in the blood of those that want to ruin my race, my life, my future, and my country

20622630
No one is trying to exterminate the white race retard. Society is just being apologetic towards lesser breeds of humans that we used to take advantage of. If you don't want to fuck a shitskin I'd say congratulations if not for the fact that statistically most races stay within their race. Two hundred years from now even if whites are an extremely rare thing then, everyone will be dead by then. What culture do we even have right now? Go cum on a flag and pretend you have rights in some bible thumping shithole. You're delusional.

When I say I'm stupid I meant at maths by the by. I have common sense enough to know that only white and black trash prefer the deep south, and bible thumpers, and only assholes live in red states.

Brown people built the USA also. We are all immigrants that genocided the natives here.

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>white guilt race traitor
leave my fucking state and get robbed by a negro in your beloved blue states

>>I need my gun culture red wing states because I psychologically project my violent tendencies unto black people

Leave the planet you trash. Niggers and rednecks are the exact same temperament.

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2pBp

Whats wrong with guns dumbass? I like to have them to protect myself and my family. You sound like as if the pigs are going to help you

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I'm lonely and my multitude attempts at trying to get in contact with others– and I've tried many things– have left me feeling worse due to my failings.

Don't ever stop calling user, you have to make sure they remember you
youtube.com/watch?v=DL_KyJpRuKU

Guns are purely an offensive weapon. If close enough to be stabbed the twenty feet rules applies so they don't protect against knives. If someone has a gun on you you have no time to get yours on them. Running around with guns is pointless and sissified.

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I moved away from everything and everyone that I cared about when I was 16, only just started getting over it.

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>guns are for sissies
And you are a bigger sissy for wanting to take them away

Everything you just said is wrong. You cant stab someone that has a gun. If they dont have the time to shoot you (they do; the 21 foot rule is fundamentally flawed and based on a flawed test using a fat cop) they have plenty of time to pistol whip you or just kick your fucking knee out and kill you at their leisure. And yes, you can get your gun out faster. Stop projecting your shit draw time on the rest of us that actually train.
Liberals are completely retarded.

Also, only retards that like suckling government dick live in blue states. Enjoy your income tax fag.

The only reason Americans have guns is to protect themselves against a police state. All the other arguments doesn't matter as long the possibility of a police state is still a danger.

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>The only reason Americans have guns is to protect themselves against a police state.
Call me a sadist but it feels good knowing some scumbag politician quivers in fear of the gun owning citizenry. I love that they fear us and dare not to mess with us

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In short, break your habits. Do things that you usually don't do.

I was heading towards a downward spiral myself, for several years. I got home from school, played vidya, went to bed late, and repeated this ad-nausium. It especially fucked me up when I went and got my job, to the point where I walked around completely exhausted during the day, I didn't even enjoy the act of playing games anymore, I just took comfort in the repetition of the act.

I got out of the loop when I got back in to studying, which forced me bunker down and focus on schoolwork during the workdays, and I kept my vidya specifically for the weekends.

Not only do I enjoy games again, I am also making some great progress in my studies and I generally just feel better in general for having broken the habit.

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It doesn't mean anything if you have no organized militia with privacy laws on it's side with nuclear arms and jets and tanks. There is no note worthy resistance outside of copyright infringement and it's mostly from outside the USA that is.

Better than nothing really, at least I am not at the mercy of the government like in Europe or China

Struggling to get any internships. Didn't even get my backup internship. I don't have a lot of experience outside of my college jobs and all of the entry-level internships are looking for previous internship experience. I've sent in so many by now, I personalize each one, my career center and friends say my resume looks fine, but I often don't even get a denial letter/email. I don't know what else to do. It's going to be even worse when I graduate next year. I'm going to be so behind.

I feel you man, Can't even get a job at Wawa or Total Wine even though I have grocery/register experience. Employers are fucking faggots

I think it has to do with a repressed anxiety I've been struggling with for about 7-8 years now
I couldn't contain it all the time and had 3 major breakdowns so my brain decided to shut my emotions down to "protect me" once and for all
Ironically enough the only moments I feel somewhat alive is when the anxiety starts kicking back in, the rest of the time I just feel numb to the point that I barely enjoy anything at all even when I really try to
I don't know what to do

I just want to graduate and make 40k/yr with healthcare benefits, but I don't think I'm going to find an employer that does that in the next couple years.

>I just want to graduate and make 40k/yr with healthcare benefits
Fuck this world so much because now thats a fucking pain in the ass to do

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My brain is all wrong. It can do depression like it's a normal thing lol

I just hate myself. All I want is to kill myself but there's too many people I'm responsible for to pull it off

It's a real shame, my entire boomer family believes I'm going to be making triple digits in the next five years. Everyone is so proud I'm going to college and that I'm going to be so useful in the job market. They just don't understand.

same, my fucking little sister is paraded around for going to UF meanwhile I just want to be a pilot and college is such a big fucking barrier

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If they wanted to rebel they would. China's black market is superior to the USA's. Europe has some of the best countries to live in.

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I'm sick and tired of certain types of people: the sanctimonious, deliberately dispassionate, supposedly logical and reasonable type that has become the ideal for some people today. I'm tired of being told that everything that happens is my fault, as if we're not all connected and don't bear responsibility for each other somehow.

>Europe has some of the best countries to live in.
>if you don't mind living next to muslims
>if you don't mind living in a small apartment
>if you don't mind having a socialist government who will fuck you over
>if you don't mind getting arrested for defending yourself
>if you don't mind censored internet
Europe is shit

I've always beloved that some mistakes are made by self or fate is just really cruel that day

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Fate brings terrible things sometimes. I know I also make mistakes, as everyone does. What pisses me off is the "I-don't-care-screw-you" attitude that's becoming de rigeur thanks to the """rugged individualist""" culture of the US and scumbags like Ben Shapiro.

Well I for one am very individualist in a lot of things because I really don't like the idea of people getting free shit for nothing

I don't believe in "free shit," but I can't stand the idea of there being people who are as miserable as some people are, as if anyone "deserves" to suffer like that.

Drug addicts, gang bangers, jews, and single mothers all deserve misery

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Cry more loser, no tax money will ever undo your stupidity and I hope you rot

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>20622896
>20622883
oh look it's Jow Forums

Sup Reddit, this isn't an echo chamber and I fucking hate how mods defend your asses all the time

I never get replies on this forum, but I am gonna write a long tirade anyway...

So I am 22 now. I became depressed around the age 15, when hormones kicked in. But to be honest I was pretty depressed before it, I am from very bad family. My father is nazi and very abusive my mother is abusive to, they arguing almost always. I am asian, so I always had this hatred inside me, like I fet deep down that my parents hate me. My parents look very white though.

So, then I became really asocial and very silent. I didn't have friends. When I was 18 I went to uni, and never made friends there either. I also am kinda ugly and look asian. I fucking hate myself to the core. I just live my life with least possible resistnce. Most of the day when I don't work I just lay in bed. And that's it.
Main reasons why I am depressed is because I am myself. That's it

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Is that supposed to be you? you do know that white guys have a thing for asian women you know (assuming you are a woman)

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Because my family was always cold & abusive to me, I never had many friends throughout my life, the first & only girl to ever truly love me left me to sleep with a guy 8 years older than the both of us a month after our 2 year anniversary, and I've been completely alone ever since. I'm 19, live alone, work but don't go to school, and I'm since I'm not in school & not interested in drinking or getting high, my social life, save for wandering around anime conventions whenever there's one of those in town, is non-existent. I spend all my free time drawing, playing games, & exercising, but my life feels so empty still & I think about dyin' all the time.

There's nothing wrong with going to a pub/bar and trying some new beers and getting new friends

Because I know all my problems are my fault and I'm to lazy to fix them and then I hate myself because I'm lazy and won't fix my problems and so on.

Except for the fact that doesnt work because bar people are the worst normies of all.

Doesn't stop me, I want some fucking beer or some good highballs

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I hate myself

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Why would you want something that tastes like canned air
At least cider tastes good

Cuz I'm 29, about to be 30 in less than a month. I'm a single father, working hard physical labor, and living paycheck to paycheck. It's difficult pursuing relationships, and I just don't have it in me to keep doing hookups. I drink beer pretty much every evening to drown my sorrows, but it only exacerbates my depression.

>muh cider
Be a man and try some good aged whisky

I'm 19 & American, I'm pretty sure no bar will let me in unless I'm 21. I don't even like drinking or the idea of getting drunk either, I've known too many alcoholics, and all the stuff I've tasted, beer, wine, and whiskey, were all disgusting. I'm also trying to find some people who aren't so into drinking or drugs, and I'm not gonna meet them at a bar. But that's all that anybody cares about around here wherever you go.

Acquired tastes aren't tastes at all. You're burning your tongue until you can stand the "flavor".

>a single father
fuck man how is that like? Did the woman leave you or is she dead? I have faith in you man, show the kids what a man should be

Honestly you can wait it out, alcohol is not for everyone

Most things in life are acquired tastes, stop being a fag

You dont have to acquire a taste for something that tastes objectively good.

>t. dumbass that chugged vodka

We split when he was 5months old. I was grieving the loss of my mother, and she had a pill addiction and wouldn't quit. She eventually became a full blown heroin addict and went to jail for robbing a bank and walmart. I got custody when he was 4, was not easy but i knew the kid would have had no life otherwise, and I ain't much but it's better than growing up like he was. He's 7 now. Thanks for the kind words, user.

I have more respect for single fathers than I do for single mothers, Fathers always have and still do make sacrifices for the kids meanwhile women have been socially engineered to use their children as a bioweapon and they think it's perfectly fine

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Depression is a mental illness. It cannot be cured, just kept at bay.

Mad respect man :) wishing all the best for you and your son. If there was something I could do to help you (if i wasn't in a similarly difficult situation) I definitely would. Godspeed

To all u depressed fuckers. Try this:
>shut off your PC for a week
>go to a library and borrow a handful of fun and thoughtful books to fill up your now plentiful free time
>exercise exercise exercise
>eat healthy food

Depression is your brain's way of telling you there are problems with your lifestyle. SOLVE THEM

>No friends
>Never had a girlfriend or job
>Still virgin
>No drivers license
>Still don't know what to do in life
>Life has absolutely no purpose
only good thing is that im in college but im not even doing that good, fuck i was just want to end it all

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see if you could go into the air force?

I agree, and his mother cared more about her addiction and boyfriends than his wellbeing.

Your kind words help, user. Thank you. Hope your situation gets better soon.

The world really is an awful place. We're all just crabs in a bucket trying to enslave each other so that a handful of us can live like kings. And what's worse is that it's not a state that we have arrived it, it's hardwired into fundamental human psychology. Into you, me, and every person that's ever lived.

We're all sinners in a sinful world and the only release is death.

These are facts.

100% this.

>Depression is your brain's way of telling you there are problems with your lifestyle. SOLVE THEM
thanks for the meme advice, friend.

Because my first love which i fall in love was psycho with daddy issues she also cheated on me,then i fucked up and she left me,might sound ironic but i still miss her,dont know what to do, i feel numb and lonely,even with my friends,she fucked me up and i am not sure if survive this

Im from south FL and there is so much to do. Try living in a small town for a bit and you will realize it.

Military is cucked to hell and the AF has stupidly high standards, they'll prefer Jow Forums 20/20 vision Harvard or AF Academy graduate geniuses with 3.5+ GPA and 20 flight hours over my skinnyfat with some muscle CC ass with 40+ hours and need for corrective lenses, it's depressing

Not everyone has the privilege of living in a rich white community. Key word RICH. Meanwhile working class whites and any middle class whites that haven't left have to deal with the spics and nogs. Fuck you

>parents were always distant and cold, just provided the basics, but after that they wouldn't do anything with me
>never had any friends past the age of 10(don't know exactly what age)
>never had a girl that was interested in me
>psoriasis that doesn't go away, no medicine helps me
>memory issues, for example I can't remember where I grew up, where I was born, forget who my family members (like cousins and stuff) are, and what I'm facing now, in college It's incredibly hard for me to succeed since I eventually will forget what I learned (I had to change from CS because I couldn't remember the equations in calc no matter how much time I spent studying, and remembering the syntax was near impossible for me(which is sad cause I am really fucking good at logically figuring out a solution to the problems, I just can't implement them))
>have no clear good future prospect
>have had arthritis for about 3 years now, the pain has taken away or severely limited how often I do a lot of my hobbies. forgetting the hobbies, just having to deal with the pain every day sucks.
>had to quit martial arts
>I can only play vidya for less than 1hr before the pain is too much for me to continue
>I hate where I live, I have to drive for hours to get anywhere (1hr each way every day just to go to school)
>seen multiple therapists, none have been able to help me. They either just refuse to believe my problems (prob cause they are so uncommon), try to put me on meds for issues I don't have, or give unhelpful platitudes like "it always gets better", have had many of these issues for years, if not most of my life, it has gotten worse not better. Or "just talk to someone to make friends", I try that but no one ever wants to talk to me, on the rare chance someone decides to talk back it will usually be a quick answer/comment and swiftly end the interaction there
>live in a shit state I have always hated, but at this time have no viable way to leave any time in the future
>etc.

Get the fuck out of South Florida right now

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IL

I lost my fiancée.
She broke the engagement 6 months ago and we've been living together still and I've been desperately trying to fix things since but she wasnt telling me the issue so I didn't know what to do.

We dropped acid yesterday because I wanted to open the communication lines. It worked.

The reasons were all retarded. Little things. And it's the little things that count, and it drove her insane and I understand that, but she told me fuck all and every problem was addressable and fixable. I'm really, really not surprised because communication has never been her strong suit, and I've told her a million times it'd Destroy us. And by God it did.

Communicate with your partners folks. You can ruin a fucking soul and a life. Arguments must happen and issues must be addressed and resolved. She's my best friend, and I'm at that age my friends are all having kids and married so she's almost all i have left.

Gonna lose my dogs over this too.

>a FIB
Even worse, get the fuck out of there, Just don't vote for the same scumbags who want to do the same thing that the scum in your state did

i am obviously a man

I had my suspicions

because i've thought deeply about it. and found out i will end up either a homeless in streets or going an hero.

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>blaming her
Communication is two ways. You gotta push and if you recognize it being shut down, you need to take action.

You did this, user. You know that and that's what fucking burns most.

>implying usa vpn not blocked by torrenting sites
>implying free heath care and education is bad
>being a greedy go getter
>Jow Forums isn't an echo chamber
>pol isn't plebbit

>that limp wanna-defense from Europe
Leaf here
What the fuck man. This is the argumentative equivalent of cumming as soon as you get in the girl's bedroom, saying you have to take a piss and then hopping out her window out of performance anxiety