We were bestfriends for so long before we got in a relationship. were both 21.
We just broke up last Sunday morning.
He says because he wants to be able to find himself and grow and is not ready to be in a relationship, he just wants to date and explore as well,not stay committed as of now. (which I understand, we lived together for 6 months and this was his first serious relationship so I understand why it was too much for him)
I am respecting his space and privacy so I have not reached out at all.
(yesterday, however i made a fucking stupid mistake because i accidentally sent him a snap meant for someone else, its because his name is on top of the list-- i hated myself for that -- i didnt wanna fucking sound like a desperate person. --- anyways, whats worse was i said,"wrong send" but he left me on read)
It has been 4 days without any word and as a person with anxiety, my bestfriend calms me down. So this is REALLY REALLY REALLY hard for me. I can't function well.
I miss him so bad, but I am doing this for him even though its hard.
I just want to make things clear between us (and atleast, save our friendship) because it all happened so sudden.
The previous days before the break-up, even the night before, we were doing so good! so happy! he even says things like he loves me so much
out of nowhere.... then all of a sudden, the next morning, all is gone.
I understand he wants space and time...what I don't understand and has been bothering me is that, it all happened so sudden.... how? why?
I want to sit down and talk with him.
I just want to understand more... and I miss him so much. And I also, want to ask him and try to save atleast, our friendship.
I don't care anymore if he does not want a relationship, I RESPECT THAT.
But I just want to ask him if our friendship can still be saved, even though it wont be the same as before.,..because,how can it all just be thrown away??
so when? when can i reach out?
the silence is getting so loud its killing me.
I miss my bestfriend
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There has to be an underlying issue there, there's no way someone would just walk out of it so sudden, the best course of action is to talk about the actual reason, maybe he found someone else or something along those lines.
Heartbreak at your age can ruin you if you let it. Tell him how you feel. Give him a chance to make it right between you. If he cannot, then you’re going to need to move on. It’s really hard. It can take decades if you wallow in it.
t. dude who spent 15 years grieving a girl who wasn’t worth it
Sorry to hear what you're going through. How did the breakup go, did you not make things clear there and then?
If not, just wait for a while - rather weeks than days - collect yourself and your thoughts, let him do the same, then reach out and tie up any loose ends. It's really important for yourself to get some new emotional perspective on things, you will see what's essential and what's temporary. There is going to be some distance between you that you will never be able to bridge. Things that move you, might not affect him at all. That's why it's important to wait and think, then talk.
It might not feel like it, but silence is your best friend. It will show you the truth, learn to love it and listen to what it says.
Let it go . i know it's hard but it's over. My ex vanished, we made love that morning and she said she loves me while looking me in the eye.
You're still in mourning because of how sudden it was. Give it a month, get back into a hobby, start exercising like a demon, be around friends. DON'T CONTACT HIM OR STALK HIS SOCIAL MEDIA!
It's not what you want to hear but you need to stay away from him and stay no contact for as long as possible. If you are correct in that you are dependent upon him for your anxiety issues then it's even more imperative that you learn to survive on your own.
Chances are very low that you'll be able to go back to being "just friends" if it is hitting you this hard.
Don't read into the "I love you so much" stuff. When people say that, it is usually out of emotion. I.E. I can feel like I want to cuddle the fuck out of my wife forever when I wake up in the morning and then transition into feeling like I want to strangle her (figuratively) by dinner time. Feels come and go, but actual love is a choice.
The fact that looking at random girls can make me diamond hard hasn't changed after I got married and it's pure bliss when sweet young things start wearing tiny skirts and dresses in the summer.
Just trying to communicate what seems like a simple point can make me want tear my hair out.
Trying to negotiate how we're going to spend our vacation days for the year can make me reconsider my life trajectory.
Hearing that she would rather pay double the price for international flight tickets because she doesn't want a 4 hour layover makes me wonder about the total cost of a divorce.
However I know I love my wife because I understand that these moments are fleeting and because I am choosing to stay focused building our life together. Your ex-lover and ex-best-friend doesn't love you because he chose the potential for strange pussy instead.
if he found someone, then okay. I respect that. I dont want to force him on anything.
I will be happy where he is happy, even if that means it is not with me anymore..
but, all I really really really want is to hear from him.
for 2 years, we're bestfriend. we talk almost everyday, from problems to stupid little things.
and now,not a word.
I can't take it. I literally can't physically,mentally and emotionally.
I'm trying so hard to wait and wait and wait to give him space and time.....
but when?
when is the appropriate time for us to talk again??
>when is the appropriate time for us to talk again??
As soon as you're able to genuinely phrase your thoughts about the relationship in a more calm and settled manner.