ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

this is Jow Forums sweetie

>What kind of signals do guys give off when they're really serious about someone and not just toying around? What should I look for to help me feel more comfortable opening up?

I mean, just the regular stuff. Going on actual dates, physical intimacy (touching/handholding/etc), sex, talking when you aren't able to see each other, seeing each other even when there's no sex involved.

You're kinda fucked since the obvious sign is emotional vulnerability but guts hide it at all costs.

Do I have to date a fat person?

Only if you're involved in the Fat Shaming Outreach Program™

I mean, if you want to wonder why girls dont seem into messaging you back, then go ahead and keep typing like a dumbass

Girls basically want men to be the opposite of everything that they are. Girls are spineless cowards, so men need to be the risk-takers etc etc.

I like a girl a lot, but she’s with another guy. I don’t expect it to last forever though. Started talking to her(as a friend, nothing too flirty) before I found out, good chemistry and all, and I think she would be attracted to me if she were single. Any signs I picked up were off and on. Most were after I found out and stopped trying. I’ve probably implied my interest at least, just through body language etc. I don’t think it was enough to make it weird between us, because she’s still seems perfectly comfortable with me. We have a class together with 4 people, so all of our interaction has been class-related. What I’m wondering is, how do I start a friendship with her without being 100% friend zoned or an orbiter? I’d like to keep some of my dignity without letting this one get away, don’t want to make her uncomfortable either.

well played femanon

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My fraternity is having its bid night in 2 weeks and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who hasn't found a date (because apparently we have dates for our bid night). Tomorrow we're having a mixer. I am very hesitant to place any faith in PUA bullshit, but is there any general advice I could use to help me find someone tomorrow?

jokes on you
i don't use dating sites or dating apps

Library bro. Find a qt bookworm and ask to share the table, then get to know her. THEN, pop the q, ask her to join you and be your date

if anything comes to mind, ill let you know. Good luch bro.

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How do I keep a girl interested? I feel like I have a pretty normal life but I think I'm "boring" to girls. I'm just a regular guy- I go to work, I go to the gym, I take care of myself, I have a few guy friends and a social life. But still I'm "uninteresting". How does a normal person get a girl interested in them? I'm doing as much as I can to try to live a good life, do I have to be freaking Batman or James Bond to attract girls?

Hot IMO, and convenient too.

Insecure people are not as likable and make things unnecessarily awkward, and it shows you're a "high value" person so to speak—you're good at things, you have friends, you like yourself, and so on. Pretty much everyone prefers confident people for dating, friendship, employment, etc.

in short, yes. You need an authenticity to your spirit to attract mates. Im only twenty and i have had women fall in love with me very quickly

you need to find a way to have women desiring more & more to spend time with you and be curious about you

There’s a girl I really like. I also get the feeling she’s waiting for me to ask her to hang out. Will women really just wait forever for you to make a move and not actually take any initiative themselves?

You must have a catch, a hobby, or your work, or even your expertise in your work , for me im becoming a naturopath

Why would someone feel happy in a relationship when we're together but have doubts about it when we are apart (not long distance)?

Why do you think you're boring?

bump

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Why won’t anybody woman like my tinder or talk to me? I’m 26 and a lonely virgin. I have hobbies and am relatable and easy to talk to, I’m just depressed that nobody wants me. Am I really that unattractive? I’m also a manlet so maybe that’s part of it?

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I posted in the previous thread. I'm just wondering if it's alright. I'm okay with it, but I don't know how to go about it. It's been a few weeks since I asked them to give me time.

I don't really think I'm boring. I like my life. I just think girls find me boring. I'm happy just talking about what I ate for dinner last night but apparently I have to put on much more of a show to keep a girl interested.

Sounds like a joke, but I'm willing to try just about anything at this point

That's exactly what you are doing retard.

Ladies, do you like being fed by hand by your boyfriend?

Thinking that you're boring is the fastest way to become a boring person.

Here's the thing, the daily work/gym/cooking that takes up 80% of your daylight hours is something that nearly everyone does. When you meet a girl she also spends a lot of her time doing these mundane things. The key to your life not being boring is the way you view it - your life is not a boring 9-5 and gym 5 times a week, it's an enjoyable 9-5 where you solved a really hard problem that no one else could do just because you're knowledgeable and passionate about your field of work, and at the gym you hit a new PB in some exercise that you've been working toward, and on the weekend you're going to meet up with your friends to try that new restaurant and you're eager because you like the cuisine they serve and you've heard good things!

>someone did something insignificant
A girl I know professionally told me my collar was all messed up, fixed it for me, then patted me on the chest. How insignificant is that? Haven't known her very long and we've dipped a toe into flirting and non-work talk but my impression up until this point was that she was being professionally friendly.

If a girl uses fat girl angles, is there any chance that she is not fat?

It would be hard to know unless you met the girl. A good hint would be that she is trying to subtly cover her chin. The neck area can be a good indicator too, for either a fat neck or seeing if her collar bones are showing. If you cannot see much of her collar bone then she is chubby or fat.

Women: Should I feel guilty about being sexually blunt on tinder or at bars? For every few girls who is uncomfortable or disgusted when I mention sex out loud there are others who appreciate me being direct. It's hard for me to feel bad when I have no idea whether the other person will take my advances poorly or not.

On the other hand I'm friends with girls too and have lots of sisters and I understand why they hate and fear sexually forward men. I feel stuck because I know some girls will like and reward my behavior and others will be very upset/

Thoughts?

For the record, I wouldn't say that, as a guy, I like confidence because it makes me feel safe.

I like confidence because it simplifies things. With a confident woman I know where I stand, because she speaks her mind, and I don't have to try to carefully and cautiously drag thoughts and feelings out of her.

Went on 3 dates with a grill. She likes me and puts up with a lot of autism, but I'm not really attracted and we don't really click.
We have only spoken in person or by text.
Do I owe it to her to tell her I won't keep seeing her by phone call? Can I just text your great and I had fun but don't see it going anywhere?

What would you guys describe as 'clingy' or 'high maintenance' behavior in a girl?

Clingy is just an inability to recognize and respect boundaries. A girl who demands that you change your previous habits and patterns in order to give her attention.

Obviously in a relationship there's some compromise, and this shit is an art, not a science, but essentially if she's begun investing her emotional stability on how quickly and easily she can get her guy's attention, that's clingy.

High maintenance is a little more nuanced because it has a much broader meaning, but take all that shit and roll in some other demands (time, money, attention, affection, etc) to a degree that is unhealthy and unreasonable, and there you go.

bump

So life is a little too complicated for anyone to tell anyone else what's okay or not okay for them.

If you're okay with it, and comfortable with it, then no, there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

It's just important to very clearly communicate what boundaries you want to establish and stick to them, and also recognize that, as a human being, your feelings on the issue might change in the future, and be able to pull yourself out of the set-up later down the road if it's necessary.

>tfw live in student housing with the thinnest walls you can imagine
>my room is next to my best friend's
>heard her fucking her ex earlier today and now she's fucking her fuck buddy for lack of better term
>hear everything

Is it wrong that this is making me kind of hate her?

Is there something wrong with me? Am i just nocturnal? I am not taking any drugs or meds. I am fit and eat healthy too.
i am a useless slug and complete idiot from 9am-5pm. I cant concentrate on anything for more than 5 minutes.
5pm is when my mind wakes up. Then, i can slave on projects for hours. I understand stuff i couldnt understand 2 hours ago.
I used to go to sleep at 3-4am, wake up at 8am, go to my job, nap in the afternoon, and i could get a lot of things done. Now i’m at my parents and they were appalled at my schedule. They said it was unhealthy. So i sleep at 12 am and wake up at 9am. And i cant get as much done as i used to.
Should i just do what i did before even if its unhealthy?

They think it's unhealthy because everything unconventional to the boomer lifestyle must be challenged and ridiculed.

Thanks, you are right actually. Fuck this. I’m sick of being a dumb fuck and wasting the day away when i could just be awake more at night and get shit done. I’ve been trying to apply to jobs and i think this is why i have no luck so far. It takes me hours to write a simple cover letter in the daytime when it takes me 15 min to do it at night. I’m gonna do me some good user

Please do user. If night time works for you then fuck whatever anyone else says. I'm exactly the same, and working nights is great for me. Just make sure you get a decent amount of social contact if you do go nocturnal, because this is the part that fucks people up.

I'll let them know that I'm okay with it and if it's reciprocated then that's fine. If they don't want to, that's fine too. I do know that there may be the possibility that feelings may change (whether I realize that I don't like them or start having feelings, etc.) then I must distance myself, and vice versa. Thank you.

If you don't like yourself, and think you are worthless, why would anyone else value you higher?

You set the limit. If you hate yourself, and doesn't believe in yourself, no one will ever like and believe in you.

There's this pretty girl in one of my classes. She seemed attracted to me the one interaction we had and may possibly be aware of my attraction to her. By chance I found out we live really close to each other. How do I not fuck this up?

>Will women really just do the same thing that I am?
Could be she has no idea if you like her, so she made it obvious to you. Since you are doing nothing, she will likely just move on at some point.

>Women: Should I feel guilty about being sexually blunt on tinder or at bars? For every few girls who is uncomfortable or disgusted when I mention sex out loud
Congratulations, you realized that people are different, women included. That's more than most people on here ever will.

Bars especially have a very divided crowd. There will be people there just having fun, and not looking for hookups, there are people there specifically for hookups, and there are people there who literally got dragged there by friends.

Only one of those categories will appreciate this sort of behaviour. And that's fine, it's not like it matters. I'm in the group that gets disgusted, but I will have forgotten about you in a few minutes anyway.

You can't conform to everybody at once. The bar girls you are seemingly looking for, will be the ones who want a man to be an actual man, who isn't afraid of voicing what he wants. Stick to that, and don't care how some might react. Sure, you won't get lucky with the girls who think this sort of behaviour is disgusting, but whatever, you probably wouldn't be a good match for them anyway. I would be disgusted because I'm not interested in hookups, so for example. Filtering me out is just an added benefit.

Well first of all, never mention to her that you know where she lives unless she gave you that information from her own mouth.

What exactly makes hatred boil over to somehow become sexual? And how the hell do you deal with it?

I have this coworker I just cannot get along with. He is rude, autistic, and a complete fucking idiot. We literally cannot pass each other without us both becoming visibly annoyed, and unfortunately we work on a couple of projects together, due to being some of the specialists on the teams we are in.

Last time it just sort of... took a strange turn. Started with a snide "fuck you" remark, and kinda ended somewhere weird. I can't even fully explain it, it was just awkward, somehow, and now I start imagining him actually fucking me.

Which is super weird, because he isn't even my type, not personality wise, and certainly not appearance wise. He is a short, skeletal little man, and I don't get why I am even getting these weird thoughts about him.

We get our job done, and deal with most of it professionally, but this is the breaking point that is making me consider getting a new job, if I can't somehow deal with this.

Two Questions

1. Why do women generally almost completely cut off their male partners from sex after they've been together for a while? Not all but I've noticed this is somewhat common

2. Is watching porn to women considered unattractive or attractive?

Ask her out. Don't say you know where she lives no matter what, it will 100% kill your chances with her.

>1
It's a bit of a generalization. Partners stop having sex when the communication stops and there's little problems here and there. It's hard to have sex when you aren't feeling attracted to the person anymore. No one can give any more reason than this because there are so many underlying causes.

>2
Really depends on what you watch, where you jerk it, and how often.

>1. Why do women generally almost completely cut off their male partners from sex after they've been together for a while? Not all but I've noticed this is somewhat common
Because you are together for the wrong reasons.

This can happen to people who just get lazy and sorta fall out, but that's easy to work on. Outright cutting out sex, means the girl never liked him in the first place. I've unfortunately heard some girls talk about this as if they were proud about it. It's usually the gold digger types, who literally only care about you due to money or status.
>2. Is watching porn to women considered unattractive or attractive?
Unattractive, but let's be real, my chance of finding a good guy who *doesn't* watch porn, is basically 0, so I just ignore it.

I know you do it, and if you have to tell me, go ahead, but please just keep it to yourself, and don't let it affect the sex life you have with a partner. It's depressing how often point 1 happens because the guy forgets to engage in sex due to having jerked off to porn, and suddenly it's just forgotten

>be me
>start to date this girl
>she rejected me
>beta mode on
>we end like friends, then i try to move on
>i try to not talk with her or do anything with her in any social media
>she still continue talking to me or reaction to my stuff
>even when i try to make a small talk with her doesnt work she or me always make the talk
>she reaction my stuff like nothing between us happen

i dont know what to do with her, why she is still looking for me to talk?

she even tell me more about her life with the time we talk...

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If you're convinced you're pretty fuckable, other people have the same impression of you.
I'm pretty confident girl and it helps getting guys to like me.

1. It's a generalisation that doesn't apply to everyone, so take the following as that. Girls sex drive is mainly psychological and situational. So after a while, lust and the intense honeymoon feels decrease and so decreases the amount of sex you have with your SO.
I have a pretty high sex drive for a girl but it happens to me too - I went from having sex 2-3 times a day to 1 time a day, so it's clearly not a big deal, but it happened to me as well.

2. Unattractive. Different degrees of unattractive if you watch good porn, 2-3 times a week and if you watch loli raped by tentacles porn 8 hours a day.

1. I think most women might naturally have less sex drive than men? I broke up with my bf because he didnt want sex that often and it was still honeymoon period. I’m probably in the minority of women on that aspect

2. It’s like shitting. Everyone does it but you don’t bring it up. Some girls are cool with bringing it up, some aren’t. Female equivalent for porn is shit like romance novels and bodice ripping books.

I saw a girl from one of my classes in the cafeteria and asked if I could sit with her and she said yes, but she had headphones in and was watching something in her phone so I just ate in silence. What should I think of this? For reference the majority of people in the can sit alone and eat in silence

She doesn't like you, but she doesn't hate you either.

Well she had headphones in already so it might have been awkward to take them out and talk to you. Definitely she doesn’t dislike you if she let you sit near her.
I say next time you see her in the can, give her a nod and sit down. See how she reacts. If she seems ok with it then keep doing it and say hi if you see her outside. Go from there if she seems open to talking to you more.

>you watch loli raped by tentacles porn 8 hours a day.
Damn, you got me.

Do I have any sort of chance with a woman 3 years older than me, or do women not consider younger guys? How do I go about getting to know her better?

To me it depends.

When I was 24, I wouldn't go lower. Just flat out no. 23 at least.

Now I'm 28, and I can deal with guys who are 25, but they need a certain level of maturity. In 10 years, I can see still being alright with people in their late 20s, mostly because it's hard to tell the difference between a 28 year old guy, and a 38 year old. They act and behave more or less the same.

Men mature naturally up to around 30, after that the only thing that makes them grow up more is marriage. That's why you meet much older guys who never got married and they still act 25.

This also sort of applies to women too, to be frank.

Depends on how old you are. If you're a teenager, she probably won't look at you twice. If your both in your 20s/30s, then three years is not that much of an age difference. Your general life situation and goals will influence it as well: are you looking for the same thing and is your current life styles compatible. How to get to know her better depends on how you know her.

Alright, I see. I'm 18 and she's turning 21, for reference.

I don't watch porn at all is that an attractive character trait? I find it odd to watch people have sex if I'm horny, Also I've pornstars are basically exploited which I also find unattractive. Male.

Is this normal then? I'm not really asking in a how to get into her pants way, this just seemed like a weird interaction to me.

That's going to be a no, in all likelihood. I'm sure by now you've had those moments in your life where you look back and realise how young and dumb you were just a few years ago, well to a 21 year old 18 seems very young and dumb.

The maturing a person does is kind of like a steep curve that evens out more the older you get. The difference between a 15 and an 18 year old is staggering, but the difference between a 27 year old and a 30 year old isn't that noticeable.

Yeah, pretty much. Hence why my main concern is just having someone at least 25+, because that's the main breaking point of people generally being, well, adults.

It has some caveats, however. I would never date someone who still lives with his parents, no matter the reason.

Ehh. if you go around saying “btw i dont watch porn” to your dates then that’s pretty weird in a bad way. And most girls will think you are lying/making jokes unless they know you well.
It’s just not that big a deal unless you want to date a bible thumper. If a girl asks you if you watch porn, then its likely a stupid shit test and you should try to redirect the conversation

Its these sorts of things that are only good as a technical thing. In reality, the reason it is good will not really be due to you not watching porn, but because you aren't adversely affected by some of the issues that porn addicts usually have.

It would be equally negative to see someone say "hey girl, I don't watch porn!", so it's not really a trait you can advertise.

Yikes.

Maybe it's because I am 28, but 18 year old are basically kids in terms of the average level of maturity. Not even comparing to myself, I'm competing directly to the men I work with who is my age.

The difference is absolutely insane, and it was very noticeable when I was 21 as well. You grow so incredibly much over just a few months during that age period, and that's just way too unreliable to be a good dating partner.

Yeah its pretty normal. You did nothing weird.she didnt look at you weirdly when you asked, so you’re good. I did similar things like the girl back in college. I’d be mentally tired from class, or trying to think about a concept. I was totally fine with people i had an ambivalent to good opinion of, sitting next to me and sharing my space. but i really wanted to think about whatever it was, so i didnt talk to them.

Your boyfriend admits to finding young-looking faces and bodies attractive. What do you do?

If she's just going to drop way off after the first 6-12 months (and almost never unless you beg/move mountains according to married friends) then why not engage in a series of monogamous short terms? Seems that is where all the upside is.

Girls, help me figure out what I should tell girls I do for a living?

I hand make and sell small leather goods. Started as a hobby making a couple of things for myself, posted about it on line and had a few offers from others to buy what I made, so I sold a few pieces, started a youtube channel and an instagram page, sold more pieces. Now it's my full time work. Still have no idea what to tell people it is that I "do" for a living, like what my job title is that doesn't make me sound like a sleazy "entrepreneur" who is actually a drug dealer.

>on track to pay myself ~$70k this financial year

My male friend described me as "my [Anonette]" (aka "his" anonette) to another male friend and it totally spooked me. Is normal to say something like that between guys?

Young like 18 or young like under 18? Depends on how often he thinks about it and his age too.

There's more to life than sex for some people. I wouldn't leave someone I really like just because we don't bang enough.

11+ year olds

Yeah, that's a huge no go for me under any circumstance. I hate children but I wouldn't feel comfortable sexualizing them even in fantasy.

Not sure about normal, but it's acceptable depending on what the other guy knows about the relationship between the two of you/what his impression of the relationship between the two of you is.

There is also the situation where the guys in question both know multiple girls with the same name, and he called you his ____ to make it clearer which girl of the same name he was speaking about.

>spooked me
If you're not into him you might want to drop some hints about that to him, possessiveness without a specific reason can indicate that he likes you.

IDK it's not just sex that looks bad after several years.
Married friend will sometimes retell a story from his life if he met a new person and every time the wife's face is all, "not this shit again"
Seems like after enough time all aspects just get worse, the same way you might have a favorite meal but after a week of eating it you can't stand it anymore, but on a longer time scale.

Leatherworker. Easy.

I'm the only friend with my name so it did feel out of place. It took place in a private text thread I accidentally saw. What's a mild but clear way to drop a hint like that?

That's really sad, it sounds a lot like they just stopped caring. My best friend and I like finishing each other's stories like an old couple, fun stuff like that is what you ought to aim for when it comes to a marriage partner.

Well i met this girl and she reject me, but we end like friends, and i try to move on with her but she continue to talk with me and reaction to the stuff i share, even when i try to do a small talk when she talk with me, the talk goes and goes (she continue talking to me or i do it), and i dont know what do to or what do feel about it

Just talk like adults instead. That usually leads to a proper sex life as well.

These issues literally only exist, when both parts just neglect to keep it up. Men complain about it, but strangely rarely they to actually talk to their wife, and instead just bitches about it to friends and online.

I'd send him straight to a psychologist.

B... bump.

Highly sexual people of reddit, do you enjoy having people beg for you? Like worshipped in bed?

>people of reddit
Fuck off back to your shithole.

It was a joke