sis is 15yo. parents only yell and call her problems stupid. like me, she just keeps it to herself but made an announcement on a server that she's killing herself saturday. i'm the oldest and a guy and i was physically abused as a kid and fucked up by other things so i know how she feels. she wasn't physically hurt, but our parents aren't emotionally supportive and basically condition us to feel like we can't be loved without success. she obsessively works on school work and has a near perfect gpa and is insecure about everything, basically blackpilled. i tried talking to her but i'm not skilled. she says how she lies at therapy but wont talk about why or anything. i'm gonna give my mom shit in the morning about not going to my sisters' therapy because our parents are shit at emotional support. i've found drugs and alcohol but she doesn't and is female so probably already more emotional by default. she was institutionalized before too in some place because she had a breakdown after getting a low grade on some minor test. i'll call out my mom 1 on 1 tomorrow and call my sister's school to help make sure she goes back to that place. she's come to me for support before and i help, but i'm not touchy and have my own problems, so i feel like a shit big brother not being able to be the sort of Jesus my sister's can reach always rely on. i wanted to tell her it'd all get better, but i'm 3 years older and have suicidal thoughts of ODing and alcohol poisoning every day. i do know the best thing for her is letting out her problems so i'll make sure in therapy she doesn't have mom in the room (i don't go to the therapy because i lie as well).
the funny part is if me and my siblings don't kill ourselves, we'll likely have kids and fuck them up in different ways as well. why the fuck do people like my parents have kids
I feel the same way about my parents. I mean, my Dad was great but my Mom... he let her walk all over him(it was either that or probably jail or divorce) and she fucked basically every aspect of our lives up. Now I'm on my own and she's self destructing and taking my grandma with her. The only reason it's happening now is because my Dad stopped her until he died, and even then he kinda gave up toward the end
It's hard to love your family and want to help them when they won't accept help because they are too stupid and stubborn, even if they were a shitty parent
Hang in there OP. Don't let your sister kill herself, she's innocent, and if you do let her you will regret it for the rest of your life, I guarantee it
Zachary Nguyen
You should start giving your sister a hug and tell her you love her at least once a day. Nonchalantly, in a big brother way.
> love you sis
Adam Evans
It wasn’t advice it was a courteous message to OP while calling the other guy a piece of shit. I was just going to abuse the other guy but I felt bad for not acknowledging OP. Post is too sad for me to even give advice for ..
Cooper Price
i'm gonna scold my mom and call her school on my lunch break
that kind of stuff makes me uncomfortable as fuck. i feel more comfortable helping through action but i still care.
you could try. what you did so far is better than nothing
Carson Wood
I'm an upper 20s woman who was severely depressed like this when I was growing up.
If she wants to talk to an older female figure I could try. I'm very familiar with these kinds of things.
If not forward this to her:
It's tough now but you'll grow into an amazing young woman and you will find out you are worth so much more. It does get better. I support you.
Grayson Davis
i wont post a contact because i know some asshole will larp to fuck things up, but appreciate it. feels corny to me, but i'll text her it in the morning. she's sent me this kinda thing before and i mostly ignore besides a "thanks" from discomfort.
Aiden Cooper
Literally just tell your sister everything you just wrote in this post. No one emotionally damaged wants to share their feelings with well-adjusted people. Vulnerable people seek out equally vulnerable people and knowing someone else shares your pain is more valuable then any advice you could give.
I'm not confident in giving you any advice for the future, but if she's really suicidal at this point you should make it clear you're there for her right now despite any insecurities you might have.
Jordan Barnes
>other guy you do realize im the same user right? newfags i swear i dont give a shit if u abuse me, ive read up too suicide threads to register pity even from own experience, you really cant stop someone from commiting. if she actually is going to do a retard and not being some attention faggot, does she know her planned method correctly? god forbid she makes it painful for herself
Nathan Collins
yeah i should make a text in the morning. i hit the alcohol and pills for the night
Michael King
I used to be that way, too. Be a man and show that you do care, express yourself and tell her.
> i care about you sis, if you need anything im here
Henry Roberts
Make sure to meet her in person and have this discussion face to face. It's awkward but necessary if your really trying to communicate and support someone.
If you don't think you can handle a 1 on 1 and have to have this conversation through text, that's fine, but again, face to face is what I'd really recommend.
Jackson Bennett
To answer the one question you asked.
People have kids, because they think it rekindles their childhood passion for life and wonder. Turns out it doesn't since raising kids is actually really difficult if you haven't really grown up enough to handle the responsibility.
Tell your sister you love her and that if she can hold on for a few more years you'll both move out and try and live a more productive life without your parents. Maybe that will be enough to make the candle worth the flame.
Brandon James
Sooo... I'm getting you want your sister to live? Or perhaps you want her to WANT to live?
With this assumption, and you being on the advice board, my advice is to break the framework of your/her current lifestyle.
You and she are very young, which makes explaining this very difficult, but you are both the human equivalent of unbaked dough. You aren't fully functioning yet on a biological, let alone social level. I don't know if this is comforting or not, but the world is a genuinely amazing place. Not comfortable, or kind, but very amazing. If you can have some patience, you can eventually see it.
So breaking the framework; this implies making a radical change in your life that alters your perspective on things. For me this was going homeless as a teen out of rebellion against my father. It showed me the value of the few creature comforts our poor life was giving me, and how sheltered I really was from the world. When I was done and my pride finally ran out, I returned understanding how hard my parents had fought for every little thing we owned, and I realized I wanted to help them. Thus the story of how I started to become less of an asshole and a brat.
I don't know what would break the frame for your life, but you should try going out on a limb, maybe take your sis with you and see what the world looks like from somewhere else.
Charles Ramirez
This.
As someone who was extremely close as well, I straight up got saved by an older brother. Probably not the same situation, but >I was 14, brother was 18, when he left for his own place. >parents had always been abusive, it was part of why he left right away when he could afford it >literally impossible to do anything right. Straight As, but I didn't have a job at the age of 15? Bad! >got a job at 16, and dropped History grade from A to B? Unacceptable, what a useless piece of shit I was >seen talking to friends? Unacceptable, friends weren't good for me and my grades, and I wasn't working enough hours. >17, I'm done, I had been hit with stress hard, after my parents forced me to only sleep every second day, because i wasn't properly keeping up my studies alongside my 40 hour work week >brother finds out >outright kidnaps me, and hides me at his place for 2 full years, before I had recovered enough to live on my own. I straight up would have killed myself, if my body hadn't turned off all on its own. I was so done back then, and I just couldn't do anything. I was basically a vegetable for 6 months straight, sleeping and eating and nothing else for the entirety of that period. I only have this weird hazy memory of it, and so many details are just lost due to the excessive exhaustion I went through.
My brother single handedly got me through it, and he is an autistic, introverted guy, who absolutely sucks at showing emotions properly, and his hugs were the most awkward and weird things in the world, but I guarantee you she will appreciate it. Maybe she wont show you at first, but it helps way more than you can possibly imagine. Just letting her know that someone do care, even if you can't do much else, will do wonders for her mental state.
Easton Mitchell
I'll write a song based on your story brother, this made me very emotional. If I ever get royalties on it, give me your burner e-mail.
Christopher Diaz
You're doing the right thing calling the school. You should also personally report everything to your state's Children & Youth agency, whatever that may be depending on your state. Not sure about all states, but some states like PA are very quick to act on reports like this. File a police report if need be. Are you living away from home? If you are, offer to let her stay with you for a while.
Josiah Gomez
Honestly I think the best thing to do is write it out in a ketter how you feel and just give that to her. Articulate what you think without getting uncomfortable.
>without getting uncomfortable. Honestly, he shouldn't worry about that.
My brother helped me through a similar situation, and while many people have claimed a lot of things about it sound sketchy and borderline incestuous, she is very unlikely to percieve it that way.
Obviously stay away from sexual stuff, but really, the rest is very easy to filter. My brother has called me beautiful a total of twice my entire life, and it didn't feel wrong in either case, just like most people doesn't find it wrong when their parents say it. Most people don't associate their siblings with sex, and wouldn't connect those dots the same way onlookers might.
Jackson Gomez
It honestly sounds like you and her should go either into therapy or a program for people with suicidal thoughts.
I never went, but my sister was a suicidal, super self-destructive mess for years because of our stepdad, and therapy honestly made her gradually better. “But they don’t give a shit” is an argument that misses the point, it’s about you having an environment to speak freely and be open about yourself, which in turn helps you figure things out better.
