I'm 24. I never had close friends. Most of the time, I've been part of social groups, but not really. More of an observer. I spent the last decade almost exclusively on the internet. I can work from anywhere I want.
I'm not interested in "normie stuff".
My body says I need a relationship but I don't know what that entails. In my life, I have encountered maybe two people with whom I was compatible. A rating thread said I was average looking.
What do I do with my life?
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Try and be productive, get a job or something.
I was similar to you, I got dates pretty easily but hated basically all of them. Had very few friends, but kept to myself. What I did was just kind of use online dating, got to know them a bit and if I didn't like them I didn't go out with em again. Really, just standard dating protocol and never worried about "needing someone around". Met someone I really liked and married her.
That being said, what exactly do you do for work now? When I was living as a nomad I was playing poker. I'd really like to be able to work online and move around again.
Online communities are okay. VRchat.
Gunna have to go to places to meet opposite sex though. "Non-normie" places. If you're looking for physical intimacy.
I am relatively productive as a programmer.
Online hasn't really worked out. I strongly dislike bars, parties and the like. Maybe not social anxiety but the environment makes me highly uncomfortable.
Also, I tend to attract strange people. Some part of me would like to get lost in that, but I know it would end badly, very badly. A critical mass of crazyness so to speak.
I actually helped developing a VR app, it's a nice way to meet people, even surprisingly many women. But it doesn't compare to RL, due to the lack of persistence.
Damn son. Go flex your brain on some nerd chicks at con of some sort. They're the same people irl, just far more physically 'persistent.'
>laughs at retarded physics joke
yeah, I think it's nerd or bust
but I'm not sure which nerd group though:
(biologically) female programmers are too rare
biochem students?
writers maybe?
mathematicians?
All pretty difficult to meet, especially in my age group
Females are the minority in CS/SE.
A skilled hobbyist? Like a gamer grill who also went to college? Tryna think of a way to meet a nerd haha. I can't really think of places they genuinely hang out at. Bars were always hit and miss. People don't really want to 'hook up' at coffee shops. Gamer grills and cosplayers are not only nerds, but they meet on a regular basis and some of them are even smart af.
not really into gaming, not at all into anime
i'm trying to avoid couch potatoes, I'm more into the creative maker type
i've even tried DnD groups, but it's a dickfest
Alright, alright.
Going to have to try different events then. Art walks? writers and intelligent people there.
Farmer's markets/ regular weekend markets? Different crowds and such. Life is also an adventure - it might be fun to explore these social events and see what happens. That'll keep your mind loose too, so you don't seem like you're 'hunting' or some feminazi shit.
I'm actually going to a writing meetup tomorrow (I'll avoid going to events that I'm not actually interested in). I've tried painting. Joined an electronics club at university. I've volunteered for a government org, for years. Met no one who was interested in me. But I'm still somewhat optimistic, although it's exhausting.
So yeah, I'd really like some stability and unity now.
Judging from your replies, you sound a lot like me when I was younger minus wanting a relationship. I think you just need one chill friend to bond with and that will help you socialize and find your place in life better. I know it sucks but keep trying to meet people and eventually one will click.
I'm a female mathematician and programmer working at one of the biggest tech companies around that manages a product you likely use and will continue to use. I'm about one or two promotions away from senior leadership. We're not impossible to find but more often than not we're not really proactive about meeting or keeping up with people either, so you'll need to put yourself out there if you want a shot.
My next question is, where are you from? Your area must just have really shitty people. My life turned around once I moved to the right place. Maybe that's what you need too.
chess
Germany
Online, I've always been around English-speaking communities, so there's a sharp rift between my digital and analog lives.
I've considered studying mathematics (dropped out of my CSEE bachelor), but I don't think I'm good enough for it. I've always been better with words than with abstract reasoning, although I'm highly interested in it (at some point programmers crash into theoretical barriers or unexplored territory without a map, sounds like you went the other way).
too late, at least for serious play
Germany is great but the society intimidates me. I remember my friends got turned out of a bar in the countryside for being foreign (Scandinavians). Any thoughts on Rilke?
I'm by far a much stronger writer than mathematician, however that didn't stop me or my interest in pursuit. Fulfillment is largely knowing how to apply and synthesize the work you enjoy into something tangible. Maybe you need to take a step back, take a chance on something new, and run with it? Who knows where you'll end up.
It's also never too late to pick up chess if you're interested. You don't need to beat the world champion to get something out of the hobby! That outlook makes me wonder if you're depressed.
>Any thoughts on Rilke
Never read anything by him, but the short text I just found convinced me to read more (I tend to read more Wikipedia than poetry though).
>Maybe you need to take a step back
Oh, absolutely. I'm definitely leaving my current city, I've become socially isolated here, and you are right, see the thread subject. Clinically so.
I've visited the US (and Google) a few months ago, that was a great place to be. I do have some hope again.
Do you want to be low commitment friends? Here's a good collection I've been reading: pastebin.com
I'm from California, come visit us again soon! I assume you visited the main campus? It's the most fun and the statues are one of my favorite things to look at locally. Name another company you like and I'll get you a tour (and freebies) next time.
Sorry, I missed the subject because it's late and I'm pretty tired. I'm glad you have active goals to change your circumstances. Sometimes that's the hardest step, finding the strength to seek change. Things will certainly improve for someone like you.
Thank you, I'll try. Do you have Discord? I'm coda#6203
I don't use discord but if you're comfortable with email that would be easiest for me: pastebin.com
No pressure either way. Tell me what you think of Rilke when you get through some of that pdf.
>We're not impossible to find but more often than not we're not really proactive about meeting or keeping up with people either,
So you are devoted to your career and don't have the time/energy to invest in looking for a relationship?
Are you relatively young? Do you think you can be happy living like this 10 years from now?
I find the more I think upon myself, the more reasons I find to feel bad about myself, so I try and keep it simple. I ask myself at the end of every day 'am I a good person', and I can rest easy on that.
try Peterson's Understand Myself and Self-Authoring and start to fix yourself that way. serious.