If you identify as an incel, what made you this way?

If you identify as an incel, what made you this way?

I don't honestly believe that any person could permanently have a negative view of women since birth.

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en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder),

So your asking a question, then giving your opinion on an unrelated matter?

I don't believe being an "incel" is only about having a negative viewpoint on women.
I think it's also about wanting to be appealing to women, but being unwilling to put the effort in, and being unable to come to terms with it, resulting in a neverending spiral of dissatisfaction and self-hatred, which then is projected on others, especially women.

t. Incel who does not yet hate women, but hates himself with a passion

Stop giving different definitions for the fucking term. It just comes from involuntarily celibate. That's all there is to it. Negative view is optional.

Incels keep lying about it to try to avoid taking the responsibility. You are an incel if you identify as one, that's it. There is no such thing as "involuntarily celibate", only those who don't try.

incel used to be something people identified as years ago. in modern usage, it's an insult you call someone

bait

I don't have a negative view of women

I don't blame women for my problems

I don't have right-wing beliefs, in fact I am personally left-wing

I don't browse Jow Forums or Jow Forums

I don't complain about "Chads" or "Staceys"

I am still an incel, because I am involuntarily celibate. I am celibate against my will, and have been since the age of 16. I didn't choose this fate.

Why have you chosen to identify as an incel? If you want sex then go out and get it. It's easier than ever and your options are endless. You have tried, right? Right?

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I have an extreme fear of rejection that prevents me from trying. Therefore, I am incel.

>I have never done anything that would get me a girl
>It's not my choice!

Oh Lord. This guy again. When are you going to get therapy to fix yourself? You have far bigger issues than not getting girls.

I have a mental block that prevents me from trying.

Dude, you don't know me.

In some sense, you did choose this fate. It is not the responsibility of the world to grant you a relationship, it is your responsibility to go build one.

If you have a mental block, seek therapy. Your psychological issues may be making you involuntarily celibate, but it is still your voluntary choice to seek help for your problems.

“I disagree with the definition of a word so that makes me right and you wrong”

Celibate means choosing to abstain from sex. It cannot be involuntary.

I went to therapy and they didn't cure my fear of romantic rejection.

I used to have a fear of social rejection too. But I got over that, through both personal effort and therapy. Romantic rejection, though, seems to be something i can never ever get over.

How many therapists did you try and for how long?

>If you want sex then go out and get it. It's easier than ever and your options are endless.

Proof?

I'm not an incel. But there are some people with deformities, disabilities, or otherwise that functionally make them incels. Sure, maybe there's a one in a million chance they'll get laid, or someone who also has one of these issues, but it's still rare.

I personally haven't had sex in five years, and I don't hold any ill will against women for it, but it's harder than you make it out to be.

3, over several years

In my experience therapy is very good at telling you how to deal with emotional problems, self-esteem issues, etc. But coming to a therapist with a problem like mine, saying "I'm involuntarily celibate because of a fear of romantic rejection that I cannot overcome"... They just don't know what to do with that.

I want you to be specific. How long did you see each therapist for? How many did you actually talk to about your fear of rejection? What exactly did they suggest you to do? Did you actually try to take their advice?

>I blame beauty standards
> I’m fat
>girls only care for looks
>I don’t have friends
>I’m ugly
>I love watching anime
>I have no social skills
>I am a nice guy why can’t girls see this
>I’m blaming girls for not liking me
> I have high standards, I don’t like fat chicks and skinny - averagegirls don’t like me, is a viscous cycle, I only like 8/10 and above

Man I can't remember. I saw most of them when I was in my late teenage years, I'm old now. Ranging from 1 year to a few months each one. Spoke to all of them about my problems with women and being a kissless virgin. One was weirded out by it, almost seemed creeped out that I brought it up. Other two were kind about it but just gave me platitudes like "be courageous and make a move, nothing bad is going to happen to you". They didn't actually give me any specialist advice to get over my fears.

She didnt give you a platitude she told you explicitly what to do. You're asking for a mental magic trick that doesn't exist.

So why don’t you see a new therapist now? You don’t even remember what they told you since it was so long ago. And it’s pretty stupid to think that literally all therapists are unable to help you because a handful didn’t. You think your problem is a unique thing that no one’s ever dealt with before? Get over yourself. It’s just more excuses at this point.

Fuck real girls, who needs them, I’m in a fantasy relationship with Mio Akiyama, and I’ve been in plenty of relationships with other girls, chicks blow, they don’t ever like you no matter how much you try, at least waifus never judge you

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Well stop telling me "go to therapy" then. Evidently, as I've told you, I tried that and I got romantic advice no better than what I could get on Jow Forums.

I know what I have to do. I know that I need to go and flirt with girls, ask girls out. But I have a mental block that prevents me from doing so. I'm looking for some way of demolishing that mental block so I can move on with my life.

Perhaps I need some user who has been in this position before and can give me first hand advice.

>tinder
>bars
>events
>prostitutes
How can you not be able to get sex?

You were literally told what to do and refused to do it. You are beyond help.

>too ugly for tinder
>too awkward to go to bars
>social outcast so I don’t go to events
>I want my first time to be with a girl who I love, don’t want it to be spoiled by a dirty whore, I have standards

tl;dr you are a volcel
Literally everything you said was "I don't want to have a gf or sex"

No I wasn't.

I've been told "go ask out a girl". I understand that part.

The problem is there is a missing step here. I don't have the required level of mental strength to ask out a girl yet. So there must be an additional step beforehand, that can elevate me to the necessary level of mental strength, so that I can ask out a girl without crying or being driven into misery if she rejects me.

How many years ago was it when you last went to therapy?

Sounds like you need to go to a prostitute because you know she will not reject you.

You stupid bastard. You claim
>I used to have a fear of social rejection too. But I got over that, through both personal effort and therapy.
Do the exact same things that got you over social rejection, but applied to girls. It’s not fucking rocket science.

No I’m not.

The advice of “Go out and talk to girls” is as useful as telling a depressed fella not to be sad

I blame girls because they only like chads

How will these things get me laid? It's like telling a homeless person that there's tons of houses on the market, why doesn't he just buy one

I had a positive view of women when I was younger.

Being around women changed that.

>It's like telling a homeless person with lots of money
Fixed that for you. Nothing stops you from going out and getting some. You just choose not to.

>implying people just want sex
I wanna be loved, fag.

Maybe it would help. But prostitution is illegal where I live, and I don't have anywhere near enough money for the high class stuff.

My fear of social rejection wasn't as great as my fear of romantic rejection. Also, when I was shy, I knew other guys who weren't shy and who forced me out of my shell. It's not as easy with romantic and sexual things. No one is gonna come along and force me to start pursuing girls.

What about my ugly looks?

Men much uglier than you are getting hot girls.

>I don't honestly believe that any person could permanently have a negative view of women since birth.
people need to drop this retarded shit that being an incel requires hating women. I don't hate them at all, I simply have personal issues that have held me back from getting a gf or having sex. We already have a term form men who hate women, they're called misogynists. Incel is a term for guys who can't get sex for one reason or another.

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>It's not as easy with romantic and sexual things. No one is gonna come along and force me to start pursuing girls.
So you’re saying your friends are just as bad at getting girls as you? They can’t help you? You can’t ask them?
>inb4 it’s too embarrassing

They also probably have A) money, B) status or C) both.

Incels are a thing because today's society produces lots of beta men and almost everything masculine is condemned by the media, especially the left and feminists. If we taught boys how to be men, we wouldn't have these problems today. In my opinion, most males today simply lack the knowledge of how to be a man. That's why you'll hear stuff like Social media creates more peer pressure and significantly increases the social gap between the popular and unpopular/awkward people. Once you're down at the bottom, it's really hard to get up again.
Moreover, we live in an age in which everything differing from the norm is considered some kind of illness or disability, so instead of considering people lacking social skills simply as people who lack social skills, we call them mentally ill or autistic or whatever is condition is currently popular, thereby making people think they'll never be normal and never be considered normal by others.
Today, almost everybody is the victim of something and on top of that, the internet makes it easier than ever to just seal yourself away from society, worsening social problems. People indulge in their own problems in solitude, (or) together via the internet, for ever and ever instead of fixing them, creating a vicious circle.

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So what should I do professor? Women don’t seem to like me, they only like atractive men no matter how much I try, why aren’t girls attracted to chubby, anime lovers, nice guys like me? They always make fun of me and take me for a fool

Teaching boys to become men would only solve the problems of good looking guys who are too autistic to get laid. The problem of female hypergamy would still exist

I do not identify as an incel and find it hard to believe there are many people that do

It seems like the product of yellow- journalism to me and a shame tactic

D) they haven't shut themselves in the basement

>problem of female hypergamy
Which is what exactly? That girls have sex with someone who is not you?

People self-described themselves as incels before the media jumped on it. I mean this site even has a board full of incels, although they identified as robots before the term “incel” became more popular

I am approaching 23 and have never had sex. Between the ages of 17 and 21 I had encounters with different women (kissing, heavy petting, light oral) but never really went all the way. So in that light I don't really feel like incel-tier and somewhat of a normie besides the fact I never went all the way. I always felt self-conscious that I wouldn't be a good partner and that I would do something wrong, now I just feel self-conscious of my experience. How would you respond to a guy telling you all this?

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I would say D is the only right answer

People with money get the girls even if that means they are people that take on more debt to keep up their lifestyle

I live in the basement, but at least I am financially healthy

You think too much and care too much

Yes! Why are they with someone else!? They should give sex to everyone, girls are whores

I was abused as a child. This made it hard for me to interact with other children and fearful of adults from an early age.
But my anti-social behavior as a child also painted a target on my back and being small and easy to pick on meant I was severely bullied.
Which just made it even more difficult for me to interact with people.
I had given up on being a normal, functional human being before I had reached High School and was the creepy, weird kid even though I never said anything to anybody and kept to myself.
That phrase "If you ignore them, they'll go away" doesn't actually work. It just means bullies have more time to work on their bullying to make it more malicious. More cerebral. I had become immune to traditional bullying so they stepped their game up and thought it was really funny that when they sexually harassed me I broke down crying. So they would pay random people to do it.
I dropped out because I couldn't handle it anymore and completely isolated myself and I simply don't believe anything good happening is possible anymore.
This incel shit just feels like an extension of that so people can hurt me over the internet without even having to address me specifically.
Going out of your way to remind me I'll never be able to be a normal person and that is what makes me a terrible human being.

People forget there are femanon incels that committed suicide too

RIP with your knitted green hat you angel. I'm sorry the mean girls bullied you to death

>only those who don't try
I'm not a virgin but some people really are too ugly and socially inept. The only way these people can have sex is with hookers

By a series of events, right now I am at party with 40 strangers, I know nobody here, the music is loud as fuck, I keep seeing couples making out, I am 25, virgin and have no idea how to initiate a meaningful conversation, I kinda wish to ho home and cry.

Honestly that phrase has lost all meaning at this point.

In short, yes. But really it's that female standards are so high that it's robbing many men of the ability to self-actualize

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Before you have meaningful conversations, learn how to do small talk. Just go to people and talk to them, ask their names, what they're doing - job, hobbies. If you find someone who tells you something interesting, ask more. Very simple.

I hate that picture.
This online dating, where the primary selection happens by looks.
It has been proven again and again that looks are only part of what makes a man attractive. There is a reason why women put on makeup and men DON'T. What makes a man attractive is much more than looks, it's also character, social status, his job, etc. You simply can't see many of these things in online dating. If every women rated every man after they had spent some time together, I bet the percentages would be much more similar.

okay so women rate men’s attractiveness more selectively. So what? The overwhelming majority of both men and women have lost their virginity in adulthood and continue to have sexual relationships.

This term is actually very controversial and fucked up. Celebate is a voluntary act itself. There is no involuntary-voluntary sexual abstinence, that makes no sense

Jesus Christ, you must be a massively weak willed faggot.

Yeah if we let people use terms that have an obvious meaning but have a weird etymology then we will never see the light of day again

I've seen incels wanting to be appealing to women, but they want that appeal to be on their own terms. They always look for 9/10s or even 10/10s while being 3/10 themselves (some are even 8/10 but they don't relalize) . Their world view is so skewed towards physical appearance, but the only physical appearance they give a dn about is women's and not themselves, and they honestly believe a man can be appealing with things other than looks, like being an "intelectual", being skilled as something obscure like some boardgame or videogame franchise or having a set of "tastes" in media, like movies or books or video games again.
Beauty only applies to women, and when their skewed world view is applied to them, they think it's not fair that women cant see past the looks and notice their "many" abilities, skills and tastes. This is when they starts believing the reason they have no luck with "females" (seriously, they labeling women like that is cringe as fuck) is because women only pay attention to attractive men. Their view becomes extreme, and the world is either one of Chad's and Stacies, and that of virgins and losers.
Either you're s succedull 10/10 Chad having a 10/10 super kid el by your side or you're a 1/10 loser with no girl and enough angst to be brave enough to do something about it. Usually something extreme and harmful to others.

10/10 super model*

Fuck everyone. iTs sO eAsy
Yeah maybe when you’re not living an endless cycle of self hatred you fucking sack of shit.

This

If I went onto Jow Forums and said "I'm too weak to lift", the fuck do you think they're gonna tell me to do?

They'll tell you to drink basedmilk and become a sissy so they can gangbang you.
Jow Forums is full on homo gay.

"you gotta start small. Maybe start with light cardio, lifting small dumbells and trying to strengthen your body slowly with regular activity".

Jow Forums it's not full of roided Chad's looking to laugh at people less built than them. They can be surprisingly helpful and supportive.

Give it a try sometime.

Hey, I don't hate girls, I'm just a AVPD (en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder), and a ugly manlet to boot

My small penis

Incel as in, anyone still a virgin after the age of 17?
Because that's literally what the term is used for now. Anyone seemingly lonely is a literal incel that needs to be socially excluded, lose his job, etc.

>get abused as a child
>raped as a teen
>want to have sex, but just cant
I guess I don't have any deep seated psychological wounds hindering me; I'm just lazy. Before you tell me to go to therapy, I'm already seeing someone, but it's hardly a quick fix. It'll likely be at least a few months before I'll be able have sex, probably more, but I guess I'm not trying hard enough.

No, we lack the social capital to do that.
It's like telling a homeless man to lift himself up by his bootstraps when he has no shoes.

e.g. I'm 27 and have a shit job, no savings or assets like a house/car, am fairly unattractive (4/10, could be maybe a 7 with lots of money to fix parts of my appearance) and the kicker- poor social skills. I have a plan on how to fix these things over the next 5-7 years, but ain't nobody gonna date me as I am and honestly even then I'll still be way behind the curve.

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Haven't had a negative view of them since birth, but certainly since the financial crisis, women have been total pieces of shit.

The amount of effot required for basic value for the average man is ludicrous, jobs are either freelance crap or 80 hours a week, it's much harder to get your own place, a car, etc, etc.

Women haven't accepted this reality at all, due to the rise of feminism most women literally think that men sail through life with ease and being wealthy and successful is extremely easy for us, so men under the top 40% are losers to them and they blame the individuals instead of the system because "hurr durr" it's made for you.

>cant get laid
>hates women
Huh? Why would i hate something i want?

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Because you blame women for you lack of self awareness, and demand high standards, while having lower than average things to offer yourself.

But they are to blame, why can’t they like lower their standards then?
Don’t they say you should be loved as you are?