So this all started when a couple of coworkers and I decided to go out and get some kbbq this past Friday. I've been wanting to become more social this semester so I said fuck it why not.
So I went, but it turned out that some of the coworkers I knew couldn't make it after all. Anyways, this is how I ended up going to kbbq with 4 girls (coworkers) and a gay guy who I didn't really know.
I for the life of me could not come up with anything to talk about. The rest of the evening consisted of them talking among themselves and me just listening and making comments here and there. I feel like they caught on to the fact that I wasn't really enjoying myself because they would ask why I was so quiet to which I would respond that I was simply tired or too busy eating. Or they would jokingly say "Hey guys user is probably thinking 'ugh I hate being with these stupid bitches' ". I would simply dismiss this with a no followed by a smile (which in all honesty probably made me more transparent since I could have used this as an opportunity to make a joke).
Anyways somehow the topic of parties came up and one of my girl coworkers happened to mention that she would be hosting a party at her place next Saturday. She asked if we wanted to come and we all said yes.
The thing is, I've never been invited to a college party and so I don't know how to conduct myself. If you guys can give me some advice I would really appreciate it.
Also, how do I come up with conversation topics or comment on ongoing group conversations?
liquid courage & hang out with those you actually share common interests with
Dominic Diaz
Honestly sounds like you're doing fine. Listening is fine. Asking questions is better. If you have a story relevant to the conversation at hand, share it. Don't get too invested in it, though, like if someone interrupts you and you don't get to finish, no big deal.
Nobody's good at anything the first time. The more parties you go to, the more you'll get comfortable with them, understand how they work, etc. Saying yes to things and actually going is as important to socializing as it is to, like, working out at the gym. It sounds like you're off to a good start, I really mean that.
Owen Cooper
Should I get drunk or just enough to get a buzz?
Luke Harris
hanging around a group of women is fucking tiring as it is.
they speak about absolute bullshit
Carson Gomez
drink a little first, and see how it goes. It's a marathon not a sprint
Samuel King
I see that makes sense. How about if, like the people I went to eat with who know each other, start throwing insults (in a joking way) towards each other. What should I do in a situation like that? Should I just laugh lol?
Eli Kelly
Yeah I’ve never “talked” to so many women at once. Dude I was drained by the end of the day and not in the good kind of way
Caleb Stewart
Hard to say without being there. I would say yeah, don't take a side, maybe play up your reactions to keep it light and appreciate when people are being funny.
Logan Hughes
How do you suggest I handle it next time or how would you handle it?
Anthony Sullivan
ask vague questions about stuff theyre interested in and they will do the rest
Caleb Nelson
Okay. Also, how would I go about talking to a random group of people at a party? Should I single someone out and be like “Hey, hows it going my name is X. What’s yours?” and then wave at the person next to them. Or how should I approach it?
Parker Brooks
user with similar issues to your own.
A little buzz is probably a good drop-off point. You never want to get to the point where you lose control and start blabering like an idiot.
Austin Fisher
That works. You can also do the thing where you sort of actively listen and respond nonverbally to a group's convo, like laughing at the jokes or making other appropriate reactions. They'll usually sort of let you in the circle as they notice. It feels weird and awkward af at first but it actually works much of the time.
Again, these things you'll get used to the more you do them. Try and see how it goes. There's nothing wrong with just hanging out, either...when you go to things, people will start recognizing you from other parties they've been to before. Then they, or you, can say, "didn't I see you at..." and go from there. It's a virtuous cycle.
Austin Morgan
What do I do when the finally stop talking? I usually respond by relating my own experiences bit a lot of times they don’t respond with a question and I’m forced to ask more questions? How do I stop sounding like an interrogator lol?
David Wilson
Would you recommend me try and hit on girls when I’m in this state? I’m just curious. My main goal is to get better at socializing in general but if I can get a girls number while I’m at it that would be coo too.
Gabriel Hill
Wow can’t believe I haven’t heard of this. Seems like a good tactic. I was also wondering if sleeping in the girls house was fine? I am thinking of drinking and I don’t have anyone to drive me home later that night. She told it would be fine but idk if it’s rude. I know sometimes people say stuff they don’t really mean because they want to make you feel more comfortable (going to the party in my case).
Ryan Garcia
If it comes to you naturally, I'd say go for it. The reason for drinking is to loosen you up, forcing behaviour kind off defeats the purpose.
Carson Murphy
drink alcohol and talk about stuff that happened in the news, your teeth, how much your math teacher sucks/ed, the earth being flat, xenu crashing planes into a volcano and then nuking the volcano etc. etc.
Sebastian Thomas
Haha can’t tell if you are trolling or not but okay. I think one of my problems in talking to people is having them think I’m an idiot but I think acting like one would probably help me. Thanks.
