My dad hates me because I'm the product of an affair. I'm not his real son, but the son of a man that my mother cheated on him with. I feel guilty. How do I get him to forgive me?
My dad hates me because I'm the product of an affair. I'm not his real son...
It isn't your fault and you have nothing to be forgiven for. You didn't make your mother fuck another guy. You didn't make the other other guy knock your mother up.
He spent this long raising you, he should realise by now he's more of a father to you than some guy your mom fucked on the side and have never met and put the blame on the people that actually hurt him.
Have sex with him, obviously. Jeez it's like a perfect porn plot.
Side with him against her.
I would, but the thing is this happened 21 years ago (I turn 21 on June 2nd) and she hasn't cheated on him since then. Also it was kind of my dad's fault to some extent since he was an emotionally abusive alcoholic at the time. He stopped drinking and she stopped cheating in 2000, and things were fine after that, but my dad started hating me four years ago whenever she told him the affair from long ago; he had no idea before that that she'd ever cheated on him.
Okay, so it's not your moms fault, or your fault, it's his fault, but he needs to forgive you for blaming him for her cheating on him because?
It not your fault user, don’t blame yourself for this.
I'm just taking a bit of the heat off my mom because most would assume she's the villain here. I love my parents and don't think of either of them as the bad guy. It's just a bad situation that I wish they could heal from.
And no, he's not mad at me because I've ever put any blame on him. He's just come to hate me because I'm a reminder of how Mom cheated on him. For the past year he's told me to refer to him by his first name instead of 'Dad' because I'm 'not his real son.'
Your father was an annoying drunk. your mother made him waste 16 years of his life raising another man's son. That wasn't his fault at all.
Again, you are skewing your own logic. You want him to forgive you, for something you had no choice in, and blame him for.
kill parents then self the earth doesnt have enough resources for your ilk
First question. Are you absolutely sure you are not his biological son?
Second question. Are you sure your parents are not fighting each other through you? If they are, it's a shitty thing to do.
How can parents who adopt kids love them then? Explain to him that he needs to get over this and be a better person you'd want to look up to
You first nigger
why should I when OP is a fucking idiot from a family of degenerates? I understand its him or me, but if I do it the world is just going to repeat the mistakes that OP and his ilk have to live with.
Hating your whore mother can be a bonding exercise.
There's an easy solution to this. Make a blood pact, show him that you're his real son.
It is both their faults
No. His mother cheated on her husband, hid the fact that OP is not his biological child until years after the fact. How is that both their faults? 2 wrongs don't make a right.
i genuinely think that family counseling would be insanely beneficial here
i’m not sure how close you are to either parent but it’d be a good idea to bring it up... just tell your parents that you feel like there’s some things you guys need to work on as a family
are you 100% sure you’re not your father’s son? has a test been done?
Step one: disown mother
Step two: apologize on her behalf for making him waste 17 years of his resources on you
Step three: disappear from their life, but especially his
Why does Jow Forums's advice come down to "ghost everyone" in almost every single situation?
Jow Forums is Libertarian
Ouch, mom was a ho and wow. Shit, that's fucked up.
I'm not sure what that means in this context, lol
But yeah, Jow Forums should really understand that sometimes, people would prefer to keep those that they have a strained relationship with in their lives rather than cut them out entirely. This board's "scorch the earth and cut ties with EVERYONE you have an imperfect relationship with" attitude is obnoxious.