>Had an argument with gf last night
>Both of us were drunk
>I slam my fist against the table in my rage
>Apparently it scared her and made her think that if I hit things when I'm angry I could potentially get violent with her
We reconciled the same night and I explained myself and she said it was okay and that she forgave me but I'm still worried. I'm not a violent man, I would never hit my girlfriend and I don't want her to think of me that way and be afraid of me. What do I do?
Had an argument with gf last night
>Had an argument with gf last night
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>afraid of me.
It is good for you and really turns her on if she is a little afraid of you
>I'm not a violent man, I would never hit my girlfriend
Drunk you says differently. In vino veritas, my boy.
>Hitting a table is somehow the same as hitting someone
You don't know shit.
Being drunk lowers your inhibitions. If you;re the kind of guy who's gonna start punching walls or smashing dinner plates on the wall or whatever you're just one small disagreement from physical violence with a human being.
Nothing wrong with showing passion people these days like to bitch and cry but when someone goes the opposite way its "waahhh you scared me" shut up its just an expression of masculinity
nothing says passion like having a toddler's temper tantrum and punching a table like a retard
You need an emotional outlet for when things become excrutiating yet untouchable; such as exercising, video games or maybe even drugs & marijuana.
That's a lot of baseless assumptions. I punch walls and shit sometimes because the pain distracts me from whatever is pissing me off. I would never hit someone unprovoked, especially my girlfriend. I have never been in a violent altercation either.
>. I punch walls and shit sometimes because the walls and shit don't hit back and can't press charges
>I punch walls and shit sometimes because the pain distracts me from whatever is pissing me off
So you associate getting angry with punching things? Yeah you’re not exactly putting yourself in a favorable light here
Why are you trying to draw an equivalence between a living person and an inanimate object? Do you think that violent video games are primarily responsible for gun violence too? Please stop trying to be a back chair psychologist. It's clear that you're too stupid to fill that role.
Wrong, we're basing that on the fact that you got angry and acted violently while drunk, and now also basing it on your admission that you hit things when angry even when sober.
So you associate getting angry with punching things?
No. I get angry, I punch something and the "ow fuck" sensation that follows usually calms me down. I only do this 2-3 times a year, mind you. All I'm trying to show is that it's irrational to assume that punching walls entails punching people.
He admitted that being high on alcohol lowers inhibitions which means that inherently his inhibitions is to not strike things so he kinda blew his foot off with his baseless assumption.
First, I'm not OP. Second, your argument is based on faulty extrapolation. Someone hitting a wall is not sufficient evidence to assume that they would hit people. There is not a strong enough connection between inanimate objects and living beings for your argument to hold any water. Do you think that every person who trains on, or relieves stress by using a punching bag is also prone to hurting others? Because that's ridiculous.
Or trying to feel superior on fucking Jow Forums like an insecure autist
Don't refer to yourself like that bro
>Do you think that every person who trains on, or relieves stress by using a punching bag is also prone to hurting others?
Hitting things to relieve stress is not the same as an angry outburst. People who train in kickboxing, for example, might be stressed, but they're able to contain it until they reach 5:30 hiphop kickboxing class with Dwayne to release it. OP can't do that, he hits a table while he's arguing with his gf. He hits the table instead of hitting her, but his anger was focused on her. His anger towards her was equivalent to immediate violence. I'd be scared if I were her, too. Perhaps one day when he's a little drunker, or she makes him a bit more angry while he's sober, and a table won't be enough.
I'd say the same about hitting a wall. It's stupid, dangerous for your hands, and if someone gets stressed to the point they need to commit violence but can't make it to a heavy bag in a gym or a even a fucking sandbag before they have to start swinging, I'd be wary around them.
Why don’t you just apologize, tell her you were extremely drunk (way drunker than you realized), and tell her you won’t let yourself get that drunk again.
Emotional manipulation 101, my man. Please don't fall for that emasculating shit.
it is literally arguing for the sake of it, pulling on an strong lever, she knows she can have the upper hand on.
Men love through protection and sacrifice. They do not want harm upon what is dear to them. Wether she is undermining the very essence of your bond to her on purpose, only she knows.
Do not suck up to her accusations, because there should be absolutely no doubt in you, that you won't strike her. Therefore there is no reason to discuss this silly topic.
You don’t know shit.
So basically all of these posts are garbage.
user, just don't drink that much around her again. Not forever, but just for a good while. Don't bring it up again, but if she does, just apologize again and express how even you're shocked about it and will see to it that it doesn't happen again. I admit I would be scared and take it a big red flag too, a HUGE fucking red flag. but as long as you can control both yourself and your intake of alcohol it should be fine. If you do it a second time though she might leave. I know I would.
>Arguing with women
Never argue with your woman. Ever.
You are slave to your fears, woman. And, intending to enslave another human being to it as well, you have the audacity to call the opinion of others garbage?
You are shackled by irrational imagery. You should know better, than to expect from another person to cast the curse of fear upon themself.
I hope you understand one day that you are able to learn to control your emotional state.
>she might leave, I would
Your manipulative nature is capable of inflicting more harm than a slap could ever do.
Still, pain, regardless of source, can be a fine catalyst for growth.
But you are too pandered, too smooched to see that yet. Maybe a slap or two is actually what you need to toughen up
I ignored red flags like this and he ended up punching me in the back of the head when I was turning to walk away and knocked me out. But yeah call our fears irrational.
judging a group of people because of one is indeed irrational.
Still I'm sorry for receiving the sucker punch. A person resorting to such a thing has problems far worse, than anger, tho.
>Smacking the table while intoxicated during an argument
>Better watch out girl he's going to kill you soon
So happy my girlfriend and her family are gifted with a pair of brains.
Seriously wtf. This is so normal I can't even.
Control your emotions or she will leave you. No one wants a manchild
To me it sounds like she's making a big deal out of nothing probably because you were already fighting.
All you can do now is let it go and it will blow over eventually. Provided that you don't do anything else like that in the future. Just take it as a lesson to be particularly careful during arguments. Really take some time to think about what you do/say before you do it in those situations. You know a few deep breaths e.t.c.
In the mean time be really supportive of her and do your best to make her feel safe around you, you know? Like it was before.
cont. with some personal experience:
Once I was having a super low key argument with an ex-gf because I was really stressed about a deadline and on my way to submit some stuff but she was mad because she wanted us to go home and make dinner together first. We were in the street, I was trying to talk it out and solve things so I could go and get my shit done asap and then get back for dinner without having to deal with her being in a shitty mood when I got home. She wasn't talking or listening and really just blowing up over the situation while walking away. As she walked away I grabbed her shirt. I just meant to tug it a little bit so that she would stop and look at me but I accidentally pulled her towards me really hard.
She looked so scared. Like she just realized that I was a lot stronger than her or that I could be capable of hurting her. We were living together but for all she knew I could have been that kind of guy deep down. I was totally shocked too because I really had not intended to use so much force. It was almost involuntary and that really scared me.
She started crying pretty much immediately and I felt like a fucking monster. I walked her home and we talked it out a little bit. I left to do my stuff, she made dinner. The whole time I was thinking about how my dad used to beat on my mum pretty heavily and as a result I think about it as being one of the worst characteristics that a human can have. It's certainly not something that I would think myself to be capable of. I was pretty sure she was going to kick me out and also ready to leave quietly.
We had a super tense dinner and spoke about the whole thing a lot more. I guess I made sure she knew that I valued her feelings and also was pretty upset by what I did/wouldn't do anything to make her feel like that again.
Eventually she let me touch her again and we kind of cuddled and went to bed together. We ended up speaking about it and related stuff 'till pretty late.
The next day was a bit tense still but after some time it all went back to normal. I never did anything like that again and she went back to being comfy and feeling safe with me.
I mean; of course we broke up eventually but we had a few good years.
At the end of the day all you did was bang on a table.
It's good that you reconciled . Remember that going into fits of rage is wrong in the long run.
BUT . Don't fold over this . If you reconciled , you said you were sorry and overreacted then bygones are bygones.
She MIGHT use this to control you and guilt trip you in the future . Do NOT fall for this bullshit.