At work on a project with a team, I'm in charge of two juniors

>at work on a project with a team, I'm in charge of two juniors
>they become friends with each, talk and joke with each other, exchange numbers, add each other on Facebook, go for lunch and coffee together
>pretty much ignore me, even though I'm in the same room as them
What do? How do I become friends with them?


t. Guy with no social skills and no friends

>the cute girl on the team says "I used to do powerlifting"
>she's good looking and thin
>I respond "oh..." because I don't know what else to say
How do I stop being me?

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Ask about her powerlifting experience, favorite lift, strongest lift, her raw total, fuck make a joke about CrossFit being gay. Show interest in here and maybe she’ll show interest back.

can i bring it up a day after?

>overhear coworkers talking and laughing together
>see them going for coffee
>sometimes they ask if i want anything, but most of the time they don't
feels bad tbqh

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>girl tells you something about herself
>you throw strong hints that you don't give a fuck at her

How old are you? Serious question. It matters in terms of whether or not you can stop being you.

You should consider actual therapy to help work through your socialisation issues.

So two options
>asks if you want anything
>say yes, have her bring you whatever
>when she returns with desired item, strike up convo.. eg: so I remember you telling me you used to powerlift
>pull out your cock
>assert your dominance

>>you throw strong hints that you don't give a fuck at her
what should i have said instead? i don't have any follow up questions or things to say, especially not in the moment


Not OP but in the same situation I'd have no idea what to say either. I don't know anything about powerlifting so can't really respond like this user recommends.
I'm 26 if that helps.

Learn how to relax and just listen to people when they talk first. Once you learn how to listen to people the responding part will come natural.

It's a conversation, not an exam. She used to do powerlifting? Why did she stop? Where did she used to go?

>what is powerlifting?
>how did you get into it?
>why did you stop
Being a good conversationalist comes with practice but come on, there’s loads of things you could say.

Could've just commented on how good she looked or something. Compliments are never unwelcome and can be funny icebreakers. Dont overthink it too much next time user.

I would have stood there panicked and not thought of any of these thing.
Isn't that hitting on her? Doesn't seem appropriate in the situation.

Doesnt matter, it's just a compliment and from the sounds of things you find her attractive anyway. If she takes it the wrong way that's on her. You cant control reactions.

Look at it this way, it's not like you have any social standing with them in the first place so things will likely stay the same if it falls flat, but it probably won't. They sound nice enough.

Thanks for the suggestions

Things like that just don't come to me. Or I think I might be asking too personal questions

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Sounds like torture, especially because you seem to want it. At most I'd probably just jack off to the thought of whichever later that night and keep on with the project without being distracted.

So are you their boss? Don’t worry about being their friends per se, just be congenial and professional.

I'm not really their boss, just a year or two older in terms of job level.
I am being professional. But I have no friends and want to get social skills. Just another time where I'm in a group and can't make friends

>tfw they went to lunch together just now and didn't invite me

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Why would they, you don't talk to each other.
Chances are, they don't know you are shitting your pants, therefore assume you don't care.
Chances are they know and couldn't be bothered to haul your ass along. I mean, did you show any sign of interest in tagging along?

user, I'm going to be honest with you:
Although I have had my years of social ineptitude as well , i wouldn't want to deal with yours. At least to me, it's too bothersome. And unless someone takes pity on you, most people couldn't be bothered as well.
Now it's up to you, wether you remain the way you are, or wether you try to better yourself.

You will fail, you will feel like a a stuttering dumb ass. You will also learn from it. Sooner or later it'll become easier

What can I say so that they'd be with me joining them for coffee or lunch?

I think they usually message each other on workplace Skype, because they leave together and usually come back with coffee without saying much

Sucks for me because my company reimburses group coffees, but they never ask if I want anything. So I have to pay out of pocket for coffee since I go alone

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>Now it's up to you, wether you remain the way you are, or wether you try to better yourself.
How do I go about doing this?

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Why don’t you say “wanna go to xyz coffee shop in 15 minutes” tomorrow

Also, maybe they see you fucking around on Jow Forums and looking at pictures of women all day and think “wtf”

You already began by becoming curious.
Ask specific questions
Ask yourself especially what you want to achieve
Reasearch and read
Start reflectional writing
Search for the demons that haunt you, find out why you actually fear them
Find peace in the fact that the road you are about to take is potentially a long and painful one. Remind yourself, it is worth it

And at some point you have to start talking to people

Yeah I've seen that happen like 3 times now. Two coworkers sit next to each other, start talking, before you know it they are boyfriend and girlfriend.
Doubt it will happen to me tho, always get assigned to work alone on dumpster fires. 4 years of this has killed all my social abilities more or less. I'm sure I make my kike boss a lot of money.

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I have a cubicle and they can't see me on my phone, but they're close by

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Fair, but just be cognizant of the fact that they might view you as workplace toxic/some slacker who is on his phone all the time.

and I looked into her eyes my orgasmic team rippling inside of me. I went into the forward, my gametes all primed, and then rammed the old avenger home, twisting her arm as i did, while she let out a cry, half joy, half pain. The disty thing slut, her core so incredibly toned and hard from all the yoga and fucking she did, loving to take it up the shitter, so easy, so into pain. she had told me of when she had been stolen of to the japan, on a modeling contract turned into a prostitution trap, so much lust and learned so much sex. i found her when i was trying to rescue a lass to have her be forever faithful to me, little did I know i knew so little, . the dumb innocent malchick I was. years gone by now.

Thank you

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This is me everyday at work


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Just be yourself

that hasn't been working tbqh

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Good conversation requires practice and a good conversationalist will know a little bit about a lot of things, enough to at least formulate some questions that could further the conversation, but even without specific questions you can still prod people for more information about whatever they're talking about.

In a conversation, if someone brings up something you know nothing about, your primary response should always just be to ask them to explain what they're talking about. If it's a subject they're interested in they'll have no issue giving you the short version of what powerlifting is. There are smoother ways to do this than just asking 'what is powerlifting' of course, though at the end of the day the question is still effectively the same.

That's probably because you're not being yourself, but rather some curated version of yourself that's nervous and afraid around other people. Which to other people, seems standoffish and rude, so they aren't interested in getting to know you further.

Betas gonna beta. Men like you aren't mean to reproduce.

I fucking hate this game. I know hundreds of things about every single one of my coworkers. Number of spouses. The names of their pets. Their long term goals. Their hobbies and why they got into them.

They never fucking reciprocate. Ever. They all only want to talk about themselves. Fuck showing interest when it's a one way street.



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This just tells me that you're shit at conversation or forcing it.

Dealing with other people shouldn't just be an onslaught of questions from you. If you do this then of course all they'll talk about is themselves. If you use their cues to interject your own stories or thoughts then they learn something about you and are given things they can actually ask you about.

>rant and rave about how you're no longer economically viable
>the police turn up and detain you
>just after they've put you in their car, look at the couple and say, "Don't forget me."

>If you use their cues to interject your own stories or thoughts then they learn something about you and are given things they can actually ask you about.
What if I have no stories or thoughts to say? They either don't come up, or I just don't have them

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I see the two French girls waiting for the tur and realize that I was trying to adapt my game to different women and only going for the one's that I found attractive.
This was a mistake because I can't have them all and I just come off as incongruent even to the ones tha I could have.
I will try and develop a core interaction mode that attracts the kind of woman I want to attract which is basically TJRs.

You’re probably boring, and they dismiss you. Idk after reading this thread, you seem hopeless. Don’t bother.

if you're in charge of them, then be in charge, retard
fucking porn-addicted retard, they're your co-workers
they're on the same hierarchical level, you're not
fuck off

Sometimes you simply arent compatible. Also nobody likes their boss. You are paid more than then for this very reason.

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I'm one level higher than them. They are junior associates, I'm a senior associate.

Lots of other people at my company are friends with their junior associates

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Thanks.. but I have no friends in general either

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>no friends in general
Pic related?

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What can I do to put in effort?

It's easy to say I'm doing it wrong, but what should I do instead?

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Start by not ignoring that link

Fuck off and take your botnet link with you, fuck dicksword


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>tfw see the cute girl talking to the Chads all the time
>they're outgoing, funny, loud, say things confidently
How do I be like them?

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Lead like a leader if you are in charge instead of standing around like an autist because they're catty women.
Delegate, ask for progress, stop allowing them to walk on you.

not bait

What this user says . I used to just throw questions at people and that would be a "conversation". Had to learn the hard way that it takes two to tango if you don't want to seem boring. Throw in stories about yourself or others you know, really anything if it has the slightest link to what you're talking about. You might think it seems egotistical to talk about yourself but it makes for a much better conversation and they'll appreciate being able to listen.

>Throw in stories about yourself or others you know, really anything if it has the slightest link to what you're talking about.
personally, i think i don't have any good stories about myself or other people

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>Chances are they know and couldn't be bothered to haul your ass along. I mean, did you show any sign of interest in tagging along?
not OP but I don't do this because I assume people don't actually want me there and showing interest would make things awkward and creepy.

>Chances are they know and couldn't be bothered to haul your ass along. I mean, did you show any sign of interest in tagging along?
OP here, yesterday i asked them if they wanted to grab coffee

>i walked to the coffee shop in silence with them
>they were chatting like normal
how do i come up with things to say?

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How the fuck are you employed? Jesus.

Listen to what they are talking about, ask questions. Repeat.

Listen to podcasts or NPR or something to figure out how people hold conversations.

I don't know. Actually didn't even get a raise last year because of shit social skills

I'm self conscious of my voice tbqh

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But you've got ideas and opinions. And you knew a guy who knew a guy

Lol ask them what they think of your voice

Social interactions are overrated


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>you've got ideas and opinions.
I don't think I really do tbqh

>And you knew a guy who knew a guy
Should I just make up stories and have them at disposal?

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>listen to what they're saying
>they're talking about something you know about
>a movie, a hobby, a political issue, etc.
>throw in your thoughts and/or experiences on the matter

I can't think of anything to say. My thoughts and opinions are weak

Some people can talk about anything. I struggle to even explain what I like about my favorite movies for example

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read How to win friends and influence people


do not expect to be friends with your subordinates jesus christ

I avoid all of my superiors like the plague, they're all cool interesting people but it doesn't matter, I'm there to get the paycheck and leave

Well I have no friends, so I'd like to make some. Or at least try to better my social skills by practising with the subordinates

Other people in my position at my company are close to their subordinates. Really we are near the same age

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Lindsay pelas

In a workplace, this absolutely can be a minefield. Compliments on clothing are sketchy let alone to the person themself. Need to be able to correctly read the situation and how your comment may be received.

Just be yourself

Thanks, I have read it before. But I am not that good at applying it

Hard for me to talk about other people's interests and continue conversations about it
>Person likes camping
>>Me: What do you like about it
>They provide an explanation
>>Me: oh, cool

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Just ask questions, Simple questions. Why did you stop? What did you like about powerlifting. People like talking about themselves the self centered fucks.

Relax OP, you got this.

Thanks, but see this I run out of questions very quickly and end the conversation topic with "oh.."

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Apparently, sticking their tongue outs is a sure-tell sign that they're fucking retarded.

Choke them to death and blame the puppy. Just kidding... ask them if they ever shut up? If their answer is "Uhm, excuse me???" ask... "How about a threesome? Come on, let's be honest, it's not like we've all thought about it"... unzip your pants aaaaaaaand get fired.

Try and relate it back to you in somd way so you have some common ground.

Even if you're not interested in it just make something up.

Saying that you'd like to learn more about a persons hobby is a good way in. People like sharing their interests.


>Even if you're not interested in it just make something up.
I'll try this, though I'm pretty bad at making things up on the spot

One problem is I feel like I haven't experienced the same things as others
>don't play sports
>don't watch sports
>don't have any interests
>can't ski, snowboard, ice skate, swim well, scuba, camp, fish
>can't cook well, haven't traveled a lot, speak one language, can't play any instruments
So people tell me they are into X (for example camping), and ask me if I tried it, my answer is just "no".

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No... but I'd like to. It opens up a dialogue.

A lot of the time people are more worried about how they come across so try not to stress. I wish you the best.

Thanks, I will try that

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Good selection of pictures OP, post more


anna louise


Ask questions you fool.

Try to, but I sometimes can't think of a good question. In my head the questions sound either too personal, they might sound critical of them or I can't think of anything related to what was just said

>Why powerlifting?
>What did you like about it?
>What were your max lifts? (doubt I'd ask this)
>Why did you stop?
Can't think of too many other than these. Within a minute they can answer these, then what? Try to find more questions?

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What got you into powerlifting? Whats your favorite lift? Did you ever dream of representing for the olympics? Wanna arm wrestle?

Those are nice questions. Especially the last one, made me smile

Guess I need to find a way to think of questions like these on the spot

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Learn to listen
Learn to listen
Learn to listen
Learn to listen

then ask questions

I do listen, I have a pretty good memory so I remember what people say usually

But I still have issues asking questions. And even telling related anecdotes or making funny comments, I have none to share

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then make things up

Tbqh, thinking of doing this. Start writing made up plausible stories that make me look good and practice them every week

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