Im a 25 year old virgin who feels depressed because constantly lonely and clingy and tfw no gf.
I have a proper job and a somewhat healthy social circle, I constantly feel like absolute shit because of said reasons.
Always harping on it is probably why other incels go nuts.
How do i stop giving a shit about wanting gf or at least get over the fact that ill probably be a virgin for life, so i can finally start concentrating on making myself happy instead?
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Stop going on r9k for starters
Are you fat or ugly? Ask one of your friends who are women tips on how to flirt if you have no clue. Just meet women at bars, and don’t get discouraged if nothing happens.
Get some goals.
If your only goal is to get laid then you will always be thirsty and clingy.
Im going to assume you are starting from scratch from here on.
Get a job and save up some scratch. Dont blow it on video games unless you set aside a small portion of your income for that purpose.
Start shopping at more expensive places for clothes and get clothes that either conceal your body type or compliment it.
No hoodies or tshirts.
Make a physical goal like running 1 mile in 15 minutes and work towards that goal.
You have low self esteem because you arent used to setting goals and accomplishing them.
Since you have low self esteem you approach every problem from the perspective of uncertainty.
The goal is to build confidence in your decision making so you stop doubting every move you make.
I have completely given up at this point. Asked countless women out and went to dates where the girl's obviously there for the free food.
I'm done with women. I'm asking about how to get over this desire for companionship and sex so i don't feel like shit.
Ill help you out, im a pretty average girl when it comes to face, but i have a very nice body, especially to be so skinny as i am. I live in Norway tho, but ill help you out as a friend, if you live here yourself
Thanks but that's its not what im asking...
Im trying to find out how to give up my desire to sex and get into a relationship.
Im done with women and i don't stand a chance at all.
Change your mentality. Stop putting women and relationships in general on a pedestral. Relationships aren't required for living a good and fulfilling life, they are just a bonus. Hapiness comes from within and doing your own thing. If you met a likeminded women that is a huge pro but it shouldn't stop you from doing the things you like or define you on a complete level. You are still yourself in the end.
ask if the social circle can introduce you to someone
>Relationships aren't required for living a good and fulfilling life
They literally are though
Hvor i landet er du fra?
so you're saying that im on a completely wrong track? it is just wishful thinking to want to cut off this desire of mine?
I don't think im going to get anywhere with my life at this moment. This is literally killing me.
I think some people get hung up on having sex and being in a relationship, but don’t really understand what is at the fundamental core of being in a relationship. Are you pleasant or exciting to be around? If not, you should work on yourself to become those things — this will help you in life generally as well.
That being said, you are only as lonely as you feel you are. Some people are fully content with being alone.
If you aren't able to have a good life on your own, how is that going to suddenly change if you are in a relationship? What you are talking about sounds more like replacement-mum and being dependent on her affection like a baby or toddler.
Social relationships are the number one factor when it comes to determining happiness. They are the only things that matter in life. You could find your passion, have a successful career, look good and be healthy, have lots of money, etc. but without supportive, loving relationships, you'd be unhappy.
Your marriage is literally half your life mate like wtf
You cant just go "welp not even gonna give a fuck about missing out on straight fifty fucking percent of life"
I read my post again and see how you get there. I agree that you need a certain amount of social relationships in general. Even though it wouldn't hurt to not put them on a pedestral. But for romantic relationships I still hold to my point.
Life is about being your self and finding like minded peeople. If on a romantic level it is a huge pro to life but shouldn't be overstressed like all happiness depends on it.
Wrong. You sound like you are a complete failure in life in every way, with careers and everything, and think that getting a gf would magically fix everything in your life. That's not how it works.
Have you found your passion, do you have a successful career, good looks and health, and have lots of money? Or do you have none of these and think they would magically appear if you got a gf?
There are people with absolutely none of that living in a trailer park making dead ass nothing for their 50 hours a week, yet every night after they put their kids to bed they lay down next to their wife and fall asleep with a smile on their face as wide as the creaking bed frame.
I want that kind of indestructable, unyielding happiness.
They worked for it, you didn't. You have moped in the basement ever since you dropped out of high school, never once done anything to get yourself a better life. Why should a girl come down to your basement and find you and love you forever when you have absolutely nothing to offer? You have never even once in your life asked a girl out.
Not him but I have two degrees. One in Pharmaceutical Chemistry and one in Information Systems and havent never had sex or gf and am almost 30.
That's because you chose not to. If you want to change your mind why not go outside? Or get on tinder/dating sites?
Dating sites only work if you have chad physique
Accept the fact that things will come with time, but only if you're willing to put them aside until they're right in your face. It sounds like you're prioritizing these things so much that you can't see how insignificant they are.
Best advice I can give is to change your mentality and stop looking at sex/relationships/women in general as a goal and instead work on your own negative attributes (like the ones you mentioned).
Why do you incels keep spreading this lie? What do you even mean by "chad physique"? Tall big muscular? That attracts gay men, not women.
Cope
>lie
Man I am not even THAT desperate (although a bit lonely sometimes...) and yet I gave up completely on tinder/POF - the only people replying are bots, scammers, prostitutes (or a combo) and that weird girl who told me I should not talk to her as if she were a whore (just cause I told her she was really cute)
Great all around advice my dude
I know i am prioritising. You think we'd like to sit around and mope about it all day?
Im asking about how to fix it.
>You think we'd like to sit around and mope about it all day?
Yes you do. Because if you didn't want to do it you'd go outside and talk to girls. You have been told how to fix this millions of times and yet you never do anything about it. It's more than obvious this is what you want.
Social relationships being by far the number one factor in overall life satisfaction is scientifically proven, its fact, you cant argue against it. Also I never stated having close friends/gf would give you a good job, money, etc., but it would make you happy.
