Social advice needed

Okay anons, I’ve never posted before so I want to discuss my problem in the thread but it’s the biggest thing happening in my life right now, and I know you guys are experts.

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Someone reply and let me know you’re here to help, I don’t like talking to myself If i can talk to someone.

A bit late, but better late than never?

Thanks for replying.
Are you okay with seeing two years worth of my self inflicted life problems?
And don’t worry, I’m a patient user.

No problem, my dude.

In advance, I’m sorry for how long this is.

The year is 2016 yeah, around May, I start dating who at the time I thought would be the love of my life, she was just such a beautiful soul, I had faith for once.

Well like the story always goes, I was way too immature and selfish to have a girl with such a great connection. Through the next two years I go through trial upon trial, we get to 2018. Fall of 2018, after that [user] bitch, I’ve started to organize my beliefs, but I’ve still not found myself. December 2018, I’ve organized most of myself, except for a few dark blots. By early January, I’ve tamed them. From May 2016 to let’s say Fall of 2018, I really just wanted someone to Fuck with. The problem was I ended up meeting someone I loved and completely fucked that up with my conflicted interests. So I dated [user] for the pussy, ended up learning a lot about what I actually wanted. My last girlfriend, we dated from October until last Friday. This girl I used to love, I’ll refer to as [THE user], I’ve always felt really bad because I really hurt the both of us, and after fall of 2018 I decided I would try to keep up with her a bit. .

Make a single post moron this isn't reddit, why are you posting like that

So every now and then I’d text her but she had been dating a guy for 1.5+ years and if she was with him or had just left his house she’d be really shallow and basically give me a metaphorical middle finger. So here we are now. She’s my #1 best friend on snap. No it’s not because either one of us are trying to hook up, her fag broke up with her a few weeks ago, and I heard the news and I did what I always promised myself to do if she was in a tough spot, and I was there basically to be a friend and try to get her mind off things. To shorten things up, she’s the only person I have to snap through the day really and we’ve talked to eachother both when we’ve needed it. Now I don’t know exactly how to put my thoughts in words, but I really don’t know how to approach just everything. I want to be her friend more than anything, but she’s been the only person I’ve ever truly loved, even though I couldn’t express it at the time. I’m not saying I want to date her anytime soon cause she’s really hurting, but part of me wants a picture perfect end goal, and part of me wants to do what I believe is the safest (just stay her friend for the rest of however long we stay friends before drifting into adulthood).

It’ll only let me post 2000 words at a time.

Learn to greentext stories instead of writing paragraphs and novels of mostly redundant words, nobody is gonna read those walls of text

are u like 12 dude that shit is unreadable

Is it the >that you use

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I wish I was 12, I wouldn’t be on this site for help. That’s why I apologized for it being so damn long and shit.

Next try apologising for being a retarded newfag, when did you find this site? And how?

What's the problem? There are no questions in the wall off text. Do you want me to give you advice on how to be her friend? It seems like you have already accomplished that, seeing you snap each other through the day. Do you want to date her? Was this just venting (it's fine if it was)?

2016 meme war was when I first came to the site. I’ve never posted though so I’m a pretty shitty newfag at the moment.

The problem I’m having is I don’t know whether I should focus on continuing being a friend or to wait for her to heal and try to introduce the idea of a rekindled relationship. It’s a little bit of a vent, but I can’t say it to my friends because secrets aren’t ever kept.

I can't really tell you what do do without knowing how you hurt her.

Back in June of 2016 before the relationship ended, all I really could express was my interest in sex, and she wanted a more emotional relationship. I unintentionally couldn’t provide that and one night I was upset about something (I can’t remember what it was) but I basically started a really bitter argument in my unjust anger, and summed up she ended up telling me the side of myself I didn’t want to hear, how all I cared about was sex and I never showed her love, only lust.
I really hurt her because we had amazing chemistry, I mean the type of chemistry you could be doing nothing and still enjoy their presence. She wanted love, and I was too immature to give it to her without self satisfaction.

Look. It's gonna suck either way. You have two options

>Stay friends. Nothing happens, or at least the chance of you being in a relationship stays how it is, which would be pretty slim.
>Tell her how you feel. That you regret how things went down and know its your fault. Ask her if you could try again. Either she accepts and you get together or she declines and you get to move on. A win on both sides.