Hi,
I'm a late 20s NYC male giving advice to any men, or woman, who have frustrations with attracting a mate or how even attraction works. I can explain the hard truths and what you can do to play the cards you got the best you can.
I'm born and raised on Jow Forums since the mid 2000s and had a history of being geeky in high school, graduated a virgin.
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How do I meet women?
I have no social skills and no friends
How do I attract anyone? Just to be friends with
>if ever getting lunch or coffee with coworkers (rarely because they know I'm autistic) I just sit in silence
>used to go to workplace social events
>stand around a group and try to come up with something to say, but never do. The group usually leaves one by one
Go outside
um... don’t need relationship advice but if you’re in NYC where do you suggest i rent a single apartment? 21/f i have to go to school there and i’m not from the area... i like brooklyn but it’s expensive
dating apps (worst option), doing social hobbies (from church to kickboxing) that woman attend, and just talking to woman at social places like bars
you gotta work on yourself first bro and be proud of who you are.
you really need to not give a shit what other people think
what do you do for fun? what are your strengths?
what's your budget? Astoria queens you can find studios for 1500-1700 and Astoria is pretty safe just go there and check out the area before you rent/google search it
craigslist you can find deals
was dating a girl for 2 months and practically fucking everyday and then after one night we got into an argument. she texts me pic related
did she just get bored of me or did another guy come into play?
i seem to get girls really into me and then after awhile i lose them.
also whats a good tinder opener. i got matches but lots of the girls have generic bios. and asking them questions over and over hopefuly leading to a number seems tiring
did you respond yet?
no i haven't responded yet. since she said she wanted space
I would say this is a shit test, she is (possibly unconsciously) testing to see if you are going to have some sort of emotional breakdown due to this and reveal yourself as weak.
Best thing to do here is reply "hey no problem, have a nice weekend"
She will have the reaction of "Oh my god why doesn't he care about me" because as well all know women are attention whores.
OP how do I get my gf to let me fuck her in the bootyhole? I want to experience anal but never have
yea this guy Is kinda right. I would say "hey I think you're sexy, great in bed, and fun to hang out with you. I didn't mean to make things so emotional charged. Feel free to contact me in the future there's no hard feelings."
stop messaging her/being concerned with her, work on yourself, find other girls even if you don't like them all that much, and in 3 weeks ish ask her if she wants to hang out if she hasn't contacted you by then.
and don't be emotional next time you see her or act boyfriendy. always see a bunch of girls at once
uhhh make sure she's clean, when your going down on her or banging her doggy or fingering her, rub a around that area but don't go in. eventually the 3rd or so time when she's not saying it, gently finger her there. do it when you're dogging it up too. and once you're at that stage where you do it on the regular, bring it up again and learn to do it very slowly
*eventually the 3rd or so time when she's not objecting to your butthole touches.
also, if she objects you touching there the first time just be like "i'm just gonna touch it softly no fingering, I want it to feel good." and if she objects again, say "maybe next time"
if shes objecting she could be against it truly or she doesn't feel too clean down there. so always feel her out
I’ve been chatting and getting along really well with a girl I met on bumble, we even agree to meet up eventually. She has not sent any messages for a week now, confusing as fuck.
There's this girl, we haven't really talked in about 6 months. She had a boyfriend that she lived with and we wanted to fuck eachother. I didn't go for a it because I didn't want the drama which I think turned out to be a good move.
A few weeks ago she called me and told me she had this opportunity to get a song on the radio, problem is she can't write a song or record. I'm a music guy and I know about that stuff. She didn't have the balls to ask me to help her but I'm pretty sure that's what she wanted. I don't want to and won't do that.
She's apparently broken up with the boyfriend but they still live together. I don't think she will ever leave him.
Anyway when she called me she said we should meet up again some time. At first I was thinking fuck that but now I'm thinking maybe I could check in and see what's going on with her. At this point I don't want a relationship with her but it would be cool to fuck her. Couldn't hurt right?
probably went back to a guy, got busy, or just doesn't want to
welcome to dating aps and woman. they're cats, you don't take it personal when cats reject you so don't take it with woman.
Thanks I guess, just annoying because I thought things were going so well.
yea dude who gives a shit fuck her and don't treat her like a GF she sounds like a cheater.
welcome to woman bro. I still have this issue because i'm a softy and get feelings. you just can't take it personal it's just woman.
Why do not women take the initiative to talk by showing interest?
they don't have to.
they do in their own ways. i.e. looking at you in a certain way, placing themselves near you, touching their hair if they look at you.
plus it's kinda ingrained in us. A guy willing to approach and shoot the shit is probably a lot more valuable then a male who does it. It's a screener of "beta males"
*probably a lot more valuable then a male who doesn't
Why do women on the tail end of a relatiomship turn hostile and try to destroy you? I've had a girl that thought the world of me, then when we were going through a break up she would go after my reputation, social circle, steal and even worked to sue me.
It would make sense if i was a piece of shit that beat or cheated on her, but I was just a healthy partner that wanted to work things out.
I struggle immensely with dating/sex, but I'm actually very attractive. I had some very unfortunate formative experiences that arena which haunt me to this day. I want to finally put them behind me. What's some stuff I can do to build myself up? How can I convince myself I can know something else other than what I've already experienced? How do I get to the point where girls showing interest in me isn't a source of serious anxiety?
When I’m with a girl I am extremely corny/romantic. It’s just my nature as I love it. Nothing too excessive, and I’m more than willing to call out their bullshit and be argumentative when I can. I’ll do something like if I can’t sleep and I’m thinking of my girl I’ll send her a corny little message for her to wake up too. Is this too feminine? As a 22 year old should I be cutting that shit out? I feel like it’d be really hard to for me.
A girl who has a boyfriend, but she really likes me, when she's not with him she talks to me, what do you think she wants to do? Just use me?
Am girl from nyc. Ive been on all the apps, but seems like no guys want anything serious. Im 25, and all guys my age just seem to be keeping themselves open in case someone better comes along.
what happened?
I guarantee there were signs prior to this event that signaled she's destructive.
extreme cases reflect mental instability of that woman. However, the psychology of woman is all very similar.
This occurs because
1. You provided something to her that she feels she can't get elsewhere on the marketplace. or You're no longer interested in providing it to her.
OR
2. She feels like she has you in a position where she feels like she can control you (this is bad, she's not attracted to you fully and will cheat if she sees an attractive opportunity and get away with it) and you recently broke that image of control
Yeah I take it personal to much, still hoping she comes back alive at some point but who am I kidding kek
Thanks
*marketplace and You're no longer interested in providing it to her.
sorry im distracted a lot so my grammar/spelling isn't good
work on yourself. learn from past experiences. Drive to improve your work or school life and start doing some kinda physical activity that makes you fit and attractive.
>How can I convince myself I can know something else other than what I've already experienced?
by experiencing new things with other girls. Stop trying to have relationships and go on dates with girls just to have fun and maybe drop their panties.
>How do I get to the point where girls showing interest in me isn't a source of serious anxiety?
what do you mean?
it's actually a good thing but not all the time.
If you do it all the time, it's not special.
I'm like you, I like to do it too. But one thing I've learned is to show romantic sides when she does something new you recently liked that she has done.
Also, be careful to show an image of strong commitment. The reality is, even in marriage, you always want the possibility of you having another option in the back of her mind. Not make it be an anxiety inducing or stress inducing thought, but she should be aware.
dating apps are pretty overall sexual for guys. however, you can find good guys on there.
You have to learn to tease and close your legs unless you're actually just trying to bang and never talk to the guy again/don't sleep over.
if you go on a date with a guy and like him, you have to use touch to your advantage. if you're like at a bar and up close, touch his arm slowly or pretend you're getting something nearby and put your hand on his thigh for a short moment.
sex is your flirting tool and you should never use it as a weapon against a guy you're interested in, but it is still a tool.
find other girls. even go on dates with girls you're not super attracted with if you're bored.
just do it it's fun
What's so fun about a girl?
Would if I got more matches :|
>Drive to improve your work or school life and start doing some kinda physical activity that makes you fit and attractive
I already do those things. I've been excelling in school lately, I lift 6 days a week, and I bike around 2 hours a day (even more on the weekends). I've maintained a similar lifestyle most of my life since the beginning of high school and grew up playing sports. I'm not just some weakass nerd.
>what do you mean?
Girls showing interest in me makes me feel worse about myself. I noticed I was getting quite a bit of attention the past few weeks, but I didn't want to do anything about it. I wanted to seal myself off from it.
find someone thats willing to sublet or split a 2 bedroom. What college if you don't mind?
I like flirting a lot and spending time with woman on a date. it's a game
dating online is rough. make it a game and try to make your profile as good as possible with pictures and a short, friendly, but not serious profile. once you see her in person mr fugly can get decent girls home if he knows how to play his game
>Girls showing interest in me makes me feel worse about myself. I noticed I was getting quite a bit of attention the past few weeks, but I didn't want to do anything about it. I wanted to seal myself off from it.
why? just flirt back and have fun with it. say something kinda dumb to see how it goes. lifes a game and you're not playing it
I can’t play the game and I have no experience so good luck for me then
every game requires practice
you just have to try and fail, get heartbroken, try and fail, etc etc
you ever play a video game competitively?
Yes but video games are nothing like real life. I don’t have crippling social anxiety and no experience in vidya.
>why?
Because I don't trust them
>I don’t have crippling social anxiety
go ask random people for directions for no reason. make small talk with the cashier or waiter. say something nice to the cashier or waiter whose a woman just before you go ("I just wanted to say you look nice, have a nice day!")
Tell that grandma who approached you for directions she has a nice dress on. tell the guy you just randomly met he has nice shoes.
here's like a tip: if you notice a positive thing about someone, male female old or not, say something nice to them about it.
key to saying something nice randomly: either you're leaving right before you say it or you have something to direct the conversation to i.e. "I really like your necklace, I want to get my sister something like that where did you get it?"
you're having simple conversations, or low key flirting, with a random girl. Why are you giving such interactions so much weight?
ok follow up question, am the 25 year old girl. i've been casually seeing this guy since like dec, and it's pretty much been i go over to his place after work and we sleep together. probably met up like 8 or so times. we cuddle and I sleepover, and before the sex we talk for hours and it's always pretty good convos. we didn't bring up exclusivity, but recently mentioned how i'm not seeing anyone else cause i don't have the time, and he says he's been talking to people on apps sometimes but hasn't met up with anyone. do you think there's any chance of this becoming more serious, or do his actions indicate he just wants a fuck buddy you think? he's a terrible texter so we don't talk much in between at all. just to meet up.
Oof if only it was that easy, I really wanna try but people aren’t that socialable or caring to talk to strangers
Flashbacks, hypervigilance
I don't want the same things to happen to me again.
he feels like he doesn't need to emotional invest anymore to get what he wants, sex. And you're having sex easy without him chasing you.
woman have to get the guy emotionally invested before sex and to maintain that investment you have still be appealing to other guys while also keep a sort of feeling that he has to constantly win you over.
Kinda fucked right? well it's human behavior so we gotta play by the rules.
go see other guys, don't contact him, be friendly but note you're busy going out because you have plans with friends.
This is to check if his emotional over you or not.
And if he doesn't change his behavior, move on. nothing will change
it is that easy.
saying have a nice day to the cashier or waitress with a smile is nothing serious.
It's about getting use to converse with strangers and saying things outside the script.
eventually it's natural.
Yes, people aren't that socialable or caring to talk to strangers. But haven't you noticed you think well of people who are able to do it fluidly? well you can do that with practice.
look at the advice I gave baby steps.
and fyi. you're a man. you have to deal with shit and people expect you to because you're a man. it sucks but the more uncomfortable situations you throw yourself into the stronger you become. it's not easy at all, I know
the sucky thing is i want sex too, more often than him it seems even... sometimes i ask to come over and he's too tired. i do the same to him as well when he asks me, but it's mostly him turning me down.
That means he's fucking other women lmao
sounds like his kinda boring desu, you're comfortable having sex with him(is he even good?), and you probably feel like you have a more of an attraction to him even though his not that great because his whatever about it.
go see other guys and stop seeing him for a bit, maybe in three weeks. It'll do everything you need/want to happen 1. check if he likes you 2. make him more interested in you and 3. if he sucks and nothing will come of it you'll find a new guy
you gotta make guys work for it if you like them m8, it sucks but that's how it is. don't show interest too easy. flirt/tease more.
How do I start thinking I have a chance with women again? I lost a bunch of weight in college because I thought I was going to get pussy but now I don't think that's possible anymore and I'm fat again. I clearly need some kind of external motivation to lose weight so I want that again.
nah i don't think so, cause we spoke a lot about if he has unprotected sex with anyone he would get tested/tell me about it first. also he said he was only talking to people not seeing people. i don't think he's lying to me, cause it would be a lottt of lying/skirting the truth. i think he's mostly a hermit is the thing.
Is 25 years too late to date a young woman?
huh? what age difference? I would say fi legal go for it
There's this girl I've worked with at a restaurant for a year now. I recently had to get management involved in her laziness because it was effecting my work. But now she's standoffish with me and only barely polite. Tomorrow is my last day working here as i got a better job offer elsewhere. Despite everything I can't say I'm not attracted to her and I wouldn't want to date her. I want to leave her on a high note.
What do I do/say on my way out to maximize my chances with her if I run into her in the future (as a customer or otherwise)?
Im 33 and regularly date/fuck 19 year olds. Women dgaf about your age, it's a shit test like 75% of the crap they say.
How do you flirt/escalate on a date? Going out for lunch with a girl soon and how do I flirt with her and lead up to a kiss? We went out for the 1st time a couple days ago which went really well but ended with a hug.
right before you leave, you can tell her "i'm sorry what I did, it was just business and nothing personal. I actually think you're cute and well of you on a personal level and here's my number if you want to talk."
pretty much the only thing you can do and anything you do after won't change it
>i'm sorry what I did
Men don't apologize. Nice guys do.
you have to touch her before kissing.
does she got a ring or nail polish? comment it and grab her hand for a closer look and then talk to her while holding her hand for like 5-10 seconds and let go. If you're standing at a bar with her touch her waist and/or lower back as you talk to her for a bit. Don't be afraid to touch her and be natural about it. It only needs to be a few seconds.
Sometimes, when she's talking to me about something I kinda push their hair back from their face without saying anything and continue talking. you can usually tell if she wants to kiss right then and there.
If she's not reacting negatively, she's responding well and is getting comfortable.
apologizing about putting her job in jeopardy is pretty ok.
If you don't acknowledge that and are trying to get her to contact you, she usually won't even if she's attracted to you due to ego.
>i'm sorry
Why should he apologize? He had a legitimate reason to talk to management. Bitch was lazy.
She put her own job in jeopardy by being a lazy bitch.
Idk. Just out of the blue giving her my number seems a bit creepy. Im also almost 12 years older than her if it matters.
How do you turn off approach anxiety and how do you deal with rejections?
his leaving and trying to see her again.... who cares? woman are about emotions when it comes to dating.
so? his leaving who cares?
it shows interest and if you can get away with it without damaging job stuff, there's nothing wrong with it.
its hard and honestly you should go out with only one or two friends. and truthfully your friend shouldn't try to wing you unless you feel comfortable with it. doing it as a team kinda makes anxiety worse imo.
A good way to get use to it is to approach girls that don't get hit on often. Trust me, you'll be surprised. Hot girls notice when other girls are having fun with guys, no matter if the girls are fat or not. It allows you to snowball being social.
and rejections suck. They always will hurt. but you always gotta pick yourself up and realize they're just woman and they are emotional/not logical about relationship shit
also, this guy is dead on with a lot of shit
youtube.com
you should listen to what he says
>and don't be emotional next time you see her or act boyfriendy. always see a bunch of girls at once
>this is dating in 2019
Any good reason I shouldn't go and stay MGTOW?
because it's boring, childish to an extent even though a lot of MGTOW points are 100% correct, and why don't you want to fuck?
if you never want to commit to a girl, that's a different matter
>never want to commit to a girl
That's just it. I want a commitment, but not if it means I have to game them, be stoic to an unhealthy degree and fuck around with a bunch of other women I don't like just to "dread" her or some nonsense.
>why don't you want to fuck
A lot of MGTOW types fuck around a lot, or at least claim they do. I'm not sure I want that for myself, though.
What's the secret to fucking several women?
yeah the sex is good, and I think we're getting more into what the other person likes and stuff. I make him cum faster.
He's on vacation for the next 2 weeks, you think I should just not text him and see what happens in 2 weeks? I expect he'll probably just text me a couple days after he's back to ask if I wanna come over.
Stamina
yea don't text him at all, even when his back
let him tex t u
being a man and acting like a man
I was speaking to a girl on tinder for 6 months on and off. She kept disappearing and then replying a couple of weeks later but I am her only contact on whatsapp and I know from detective work she has had some big health issues.
She seemed really cool and I was keen, a month ago her best friend liked me on tinder and that evening she finally got back to me after a month. We arranged a date and she was really keen, twice I checked my phone to see 10+ messages about something interesting that had happened to her telling the whole story.
She is a lord of the rings fan and she brought her box set to Uni after Christmas so we could watch it, we met for a drink first and got on amazingly, went back to mine and cooked a fancy 3 course meal she had bought one red and white bottle of wine with her as we had different preferences and she made so much effort making puns and stupid jokes.
She seemed really keen and I was very much so, I haven't clicked with someone so much since my last girlfriend. When we watched the movie we only got 2 minutes in before I made a move. She was really in to me but at the last minute she tells me she is a virgin, the next morning she had to get to a seminar so set an alarm for 6:30. But instead of rushing out she stayed for ages having a leisurely breakfast and sat on the sofa and chatted/kissed.
When she got home she messaged me straight away and we talked for a few minutes having a laugh then suddenly she went I assumed to get ready for uni. I got a reply the next day and replied to her later. Then I didn't hear anything for a few days. She apologised and said she had food poisoning then we talked lots again while she was out with her friends, agreed to a potential date on Sunday and she would let me know if she was free or managed to get tickets for a social the next morning.
Part 2
I heard nothing so on Sunday I tried to call her and it rang through, 5 minutes later she messaged me "saying sorry I was in the shower what did you call for?" and "Sorry I can't do tonight I forgot I had my aunties 60th and we are going for a meal". I replied and said that was fine just calling to arrange something and said when I'm free.
After that she went AWOL again so a few days later I sent her a genuine message which I know in hindsight wasn't a good idea but I still didn't hear back until another week had passed. She sent em a huge message saying sorry and that everything had gone wrong the past few weeks and she pushed everything away apart from family and Uni and that she really doesn't think she can get in to anything at the moment and she is really sorry about that as well because I had loads of fun with me. she said not to be cliche but its not you its me and she really needs to be there for her family at the moment.
I know she has had some kind of health problems as she has only one post on instagram talking about thanking the NHS and her family/friends etc.
I know this is a proper blog post but this is killing me bros, she is beautiful, fun and I am the first guy she has ever slept with, literally perfect except that she is a nightmare to text. I hope I didn't fuck it up by calling and sending a heartfelt message. What do?
The Canadian in Mexico sells time shares..frational ownership is a fancy way to say a 2 week lease
>What do?
Rewrite your story using only the bullet points
Meaning what exactly?
>being a man
If you have a dick and balls between your legs you're a man, inb4 did u just assume my gender
>acting like a man
Again, what does this mean?
OP is it good for a woman to be direct or do I have to play hard to get? I’ve gotten more dates with being direct, but it led to nowhere.. Whereas when I default to my usual quiet self, I don’t get approached by guys and it goes nowhere. I prefer being direct and in charge since it makes it easier for me to sort out what I want... (and I actually get dates)
23. Same here femanon...!
>MGTOW
don't use goddam buzzwords first off.
But second you're right, don't settle for a chick who's gonna play this game.
That's because apps are at the heart of hookup culture
You guys keep taking the lazy approach to dating-- apps-- and keep being shocked by lazy results.
Why???
What do I do with a girl who's practicing monkey branching with me?