Fiancée is always "sick"

I'm at my wit's end about it.

I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years, engaged in December and marrying in a couple of months. For the last year, she always complains about not feeling right about something. Most days it's headaches, stomachaches, not sleeping well, can't see well, allergies, etc. There's always something to complain about health-wise. I honestly can't remember the last time she went through a single day feeling normal and not being sick. Every time she eats, she says she's sick. Every time she doesn't eat, she says she's also sick. She's a vegan if that means anything.

Ever since she was a kid, she's had problems with "feeling sick" and people not giving her enough attention for it (especially her parents). At first I genuinely thought she was really sick, but after numerous visits to the doctors with everything looking alright, I'm starting to believe she honestly just wants to complain about being sick for whatever fucked up reason. Her mom doesn't even bat an eyelid when she says she doesn't feel well, I assume because she's been saying this forever.

I don't know if we should be doing more tests or if she really should just see a psychiatrist. She's been dealing with anxiety (as have I) for years and I think this is a symptom of her inability to work through it. I don't know what to tell her anymore. I just want her to be OK for a week straight at least, to just feel normal and capable of going out with it turning into a song and dance of having to go back home because she feels shitty.

Any advice? >

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No advice really, but as soon as you said she's been to Doctors and everything seems fine and then said she's having anxiety, it was like an alarm going off. Definitely seems mental, and as a dude that's battled anxiety off and on, when I'm in the midst of having long bouts of anxiety I become convinced I'm not well, physically, in some way. Partly I think I just completely imagine things, and partly I think that the anxiety amplifies any slight discomfort or pain or anything, and the anxiety itself can even cause some of those physical feelings of discomfort. She definitely should see someone about the anxiety.

How can I suggest she see someone for her anxiety without saying I think her illnesses are mostly made up

OP is at his wits end with this women and is tired of her shit yet this guy is engaged to her and marry the bitch. If you are so stupid to think it will get better when you are married than you are even more stupid than I realized.

This is good advice but what surprises me is OP is tip toeing around his girl instead of being direct. This marriage is never going to work.

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Holy shit, OP are you me? My fiancee has been doing the same thing recently. She'd always have a habit of saying "I don't feel good" any time she had to get up early for work, but last week she burned through a couple days of paid leave to stay home. She seemed a little worse than normal, but it's gotten to the point where I straight up did not believe that she was actually sick enough to be blowing off work.

Vegans are mentally ill, its a great excuse to cover up an eating disorder.

Get rid of her, she is trash.

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You would see a psychologist for this not a psychiatrist, a psychiatrist wouldnt really be able to do anything because there are no drugs for illness anxiety disorder. Thats the name of the disorder it likely is if you want to look it up. Illness anxiety disorder.

It's a very common disorder but if she's not going to the doctor all the time (though it sounds like she is) or staying home from work laying in bed because she thinks shes ill its probably not an issue.

They probably aren't made up. Psychosomatic symptoms are a real thing. She (probably) really feels them, and her anxiety may be causing it. The other alternative is she's lying for attention, possibly because she never fully felt like she got enough attention in her life, but you accusing her of that isn't going to help either of you. Therapy and being supportive might.

I wish there was a woman who wanted attention from me this desperately.
you are a lucky man.

Just man up and tell her it confidently and she’ll listen

Has she been tested for celiac disease? When it was really bad my stomach would hurt after I ate. That shit fucked me up but I got better after I got diagnosed and started eating gluten free.
People around me probably thought I was just crazy and looking for attention.

She’s a hypochondriac maybe, best to see what kind of mental health is open for her.

Don’t say it’s made up, that’s if you want to leave her. Sometimes there’s a no win situation with women, you have to plead to her compassion for the health of the relationship. Tell her you’ll help her get better but she has to get more involved in her own well being.

This. It is a meme nowadays but my sister started getting the same way in college. University doctors saw nothing wrong because they didn't give a shit, but when she finally got to see our family doctor he made the extra bit of bare minimum effort to find out that she unironically had celiac disease.

Also this,
Celiac could be a possibility but it could also just be diet in general. I used to be sick all of the time no matter what I ate, I also only felt good about 4-5 days out of the month and I put it down to my hormones from my period being messed up, as my stress and anxiety and general craziness would build up over the month until I got my period. Then it was the end of the world for a week then I would suddenly come good, all for it to happen all over again. I was constantly getting headaches and stomach pain and bowel issues and every day a different part of my body hurt.

Turns out I had celiac and now I’ve changed my diet completely and I feel like a whole new person, my health feels way better and my moods don’t chop and change all the time

She is probably experiencing physical symptoms of her anxiety.
It doesn't mean she is "making up" feeling sick, she IS feeling sick. It just means that it isn't caused by something wrong with her immune system, but by something wrong with her brain.

Suggest to her that all the symptoms that she is experiencing can be caused by anxiety and maybe she could see a psychologist and see if it helps.

She doesn't really seem hypochondriac to me, just standard anxious who experiences physical symptoms. I don't think the anxiety is caused by the physical symptoms, but the anxiety causes the physical symptoms.
Stress hormones increased by anxiety fuck up with your body a lot.

I had a mate like that. The hypochondria and the self-obsession soon became too much to bear. He wouldn’t accept the notion that it was linked to anxiety and stress, constantly bothered the doctors with claims of having “Brain Tumours” and “Cancer”, under-ate (but ate like shit when he did). When we tried to helper give advice, it swooshed off his back, so he could continue to complain and self-diagnose. He didn’t want to improve, he wanted attention and a mute person to listen to him talking about himself all the time.

I had to gray rock him eventually, because if you corfront them about it, they just double down super hard and start harassing you if they think you’re cutting them off. Now I ghost that fuck.

I bumped into him by accident at a supermarket, and he hadn’t changed. Immediately started on about how he went to the hospital because a guy nudged him during football, but they couldn’t find anything wrong or some bullshit, was looking all gaunt and shit. I just planked.

To;dr - she isn’t going to get better and you will have to cut away from her slowly if you value your own mental health. Psychic vampires don’t get full.

My gf is the same way - kind of a vegan, eats like shit, a hypochondriac who is always convinced she has stage 4 cancer, but the doctors have done so many tests (ultrasound, colonoscopy, CAT scan) and she’s fine/literally nothing. They think it’s a food allergy, which is actually kind of reassuring finally. But her anxiety is off the charts, especially right before her period starts.
It never changes bro, it never changes (4 years in at this point)

Thank you for the responses. I feel kinda shitty about my post because it was really aggressive towards her, just because I was fuming last night since it got really bad and I took her to a clinic.

At any rate, I love her and I just want the best for her. She doesn't strike me as paranoid and she's generally very rational about her way of thinking, but feeling sick has been something we've had to deal with since we started dating. We have an appointment with a gastroenterologist on thrusday and if nothing comes of it, we'll check for celiac's. I'm also encouraging her to talk to a psychologist about her troubling relationship with anxiety and health, because I do believe it accounts for most of her pain.

Sounds exactly like my husband. His body can't tolerate wheat, most grains and certain fruits. If she's a vegan, that's what she's living on. I can tell you that when he eats meat, poultry, fish and eggs with potatoes and vegetables he feels great. (By the way, none of his food intolerances show up on any tests).

Problem is she's never gonna come off a vegan diet

And if she has celiac's... Jesus...

I'm a doctor and I have to say, it's a very frequent situation. Just tell her that, "with all the other possibilities being already erased, it should be better that WE look for a psychiatrist, because it seems that you may have some issue that may be resolved with this professional. Let's give it a try, I'm sure you can battle trough it". Show her support and be there for her

>She's a vegan

There's yer problem your female aint getting er nutrition
One of dem vegan diets are hard to do

Why? Does she have an eating disorder?

She's a vegan by choice

She's against animal cruelty

So she would rather be cruel to herself? So what happens if she gets pregnant? Cruel to the fetus? (It needs meat)

Does she take a B12 supplement? Had a vegan co worker who was B12 deficient after a few years of a vegan diet.

No kidding we've had two miscarriages

This happened to me too. You see, sometimes depression does trigger strange habits into people. I used to feel bad or sick, or finding new possible problems with my own health every day. Its usually a way for the mind to represent something really bothering you inside that you still haven't caught up with. In my case, my fear of dying because i was getting too much dependable on my lover. Sounds super weird but thats how things went. Now that i've been dumped, its the total opposite. Like I said, depression works in stupid ways.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, it sounds like she's struggling with mental illness. My best advice for you? Consider therapy for yourself to really see why you're in this and how it benefits you. Our psyches are mush more complex than you may realize so I suspect it's more than just love. This drama is playing out something for you and it's important to understand what's going on.