Stick around for a promising relationship, or move to an all new city for a major career step? Can't have both.
Stick around for a promising relationship, or move to an all new city for a major career step? Can't have both
Not much of a promising relationship if she won't move with you to further your career
You really can‘t expect any sane person to unroot their whole life for someone they just met,
Move, this really shouldn't even be a question.
She'll lose all respect for you if you give up on your dreams for her comfort.
I wouldn't call someone I just met a promising relationship either
It's better to regret moving for a job and missing out on a girl than to hate your wife, in 10 years, because you're stuck in a job you hate and failing to make ends meet.
My first relationship since I dumped my ex 5 years ago? I normally am all about being single, so it's not like I'm a lonely dude, but she's swell.
It's too early for that. I'd be nuts to ask her to move with me. She'd be nuts to come.
Eh... keep in mind I kinda hate what I do anyways. Sure, this is high paying and like, might expose me to actually fucking supermodels, but it could be miserable too. I don't exactly make peanuts now, and all of my friends and family are here.
I'd also be moving from a place where I have a two story, three bedroom house and a paid off car to New York City.
I mean, do what you want user.
Don't give up on the promotion for her. Take her out of the equation and do your thing.
I mean, I don't even have the job yet, but as of tomorrow I'm gonna be very much in the mode of having to take this seriously or not. I basically have a huge inroad to the position because this company's senior Vice President loves me. It's one of those wink-nod kind of interviews where as long as I show up in a well fitting suit and don't shit my own pants or call the janitor a nigger and I probably have it.
So I'd kinda have to tell her tomorrow or in the next few days that this is a dead relationship before we ever really got to explore it. I mean, of course I wouldn't guarantee it that quickly, but "hey, I'm looking into moving away and not even going to consider asking you to come with me" means it's dead.
>New York City
Oh never mind, fuck the job, take the girl.
And why would you sacrifice a major career move for someone you just met retard
You are the smartest person on this board.
You have style, friend.
>It's too early for that. I'd be nuts to ask her to move with me. She'd be nuts to come
Let's not call it love then.
Some great opportunities have been shit on and thrown in a dumpster in the name of love.
People have varying degrees of "just met." This has only been a few months, so I feel like it's close enough to say "just met."
That's why I said promising relationship. But it would be insane to ask someone who has used my shower a total of one time to come live with me.
Yup, here we're talking about something that it's not even love. So it's a no-brainer.
Unless it is love.
user? I'm curious now.
It could be someday? I mean, I wouldn't tell her I love you yet. But like, give it time.
I'm definitely a little turned off by leaving because meeting someone is impossible, much less meeting someone plus an entire new group of friends.
Move. It’s clear you guys aren’t that deeply connected anyways.
You in first place
Pick the girl and give me this amazing job you speak of you fucking dunce. Life is about survival not fucking pussy. Money is god and will buy an entire new reality.
I had this ultimatum last year. Chose three career. Still don't regret it but we had a good connection and she struggled with the break up. I keep thinking about trying to get her to come with me when I come home to visit next. She's afraid of living far away from family in case we don't work out.
You hate what you do. You have paid off car. You have a three bedroom house, something you will never own in New York unless the move turns you into a literal multi-millionare. If the extra pay doesn't improve your quality of life who gives a shit? It's just fiat currency that devalues by 2-3% a year anyway. What does having more of it even do if your life isn't any better? You're going to leave your three bedroom house to live in a one or two bedroom condo in a place that has a much higher cost of living that's probably going to eat up a substational portion of your raise anyway. Basically, you're just moving so you can pay more in taxes to support people who don't want to work. WOW! That's without even factoring in the girl whose just gravy at this point.
This guys gets it
Unless you're making money hand over fist NYC is a trap. Not to mention deteriorating rights every year.
Money is good for a lot of things, but won't buy me friends or a relationship, especially if I'm working long nights.
The one issue here is like, if I do this, I'm almost set for life. I can get a job anywhere. If I don't, the opportunities where I am aren't great, and it's been nearly a year since the job that's setting me up for this New York one. This might not come again.
Friendly reminder that money only improves happiness until you reach the threshold of 75K a year. Whatever money you make over that WILL NOT substantially increase your happiness.
>[Terms and conditions apply]
If you both r dedicated it’ll work out. Be a man
For a man being able to provide for his family as well as feel responsible for things is important for his integrity. It’d also be a good test to see her attitude/personality ofc you’d eventually have to close the gap. If it doesn’t work out at least you worked on yourself and will be in a “higher” state of mind having learned more and would be able to get better quality women too(not implying she’s not a high quality, you just don’t know yet since probably you are as bad as most men at finding out about what’s in her brain so it’d take you longer)
Ofc it all depends on your values and overall life goals so it’s only you who can answer truthfully
>It's too early for that
then it is too early to stay. Men are supposed to go out into the world and start a new life once that feeling starts, don't postpone it for a 'promising relationship'. If she isn't worth committing too then why are you committing to her?
If you worry about what you are supposed to do you're going to have a bad time. Also for most of human history it's actually been the opposite. The men stay with the tribe and swap women.
In America it has always been that men go out and make a name for themselves, it's how we just kept going until we owned America and even half of the islands.
>If you worry about what you are supposed to do you're going to have a bad time
Did you read? Because what I essentially said was 'You are supposed to do what you feel you are supposed to do'. As in, you're supposed to do what you want. In terms of big life defining choices and building a future for yourself with a promotion do you really think this leads to a 'bad time'? Learn to read.
You gotta focus on that self betterment. Unless your bf is like “the one” and you wanna marry him. But if not, go get that bread
That's not even true though.
Maybe you've elaborated in the replies, but the fact you didn't in the OP makes this your own fault:
Nobody knows better than you. This not only depends on how promising the relationship and career are, but what you as an individual value. Nobody on Jow Forums knows how to live your life. Give it some serious thought and pick.
What? That American men would often travel to carve out their own life? It's extremely true, we go off to college and then we travel somewhere new for work.
The vast majority of young men have not done that throughout American history. Even today most men in America do not go to college. That's some aspire to be a special unique snowflake lifetime movie bullshit.
AGAIN, what I said was
>Men are supposed to go out into the world and start a new life once that feeling starts
>ONCE THAT FEELING STARTS.
Kill yourself. Enjoy your gas station job in the mean time.
Lol. Ok. Enjoy paying rent until you're 65.
I was the girl in this situation. It sounds like you're going to move. Don't be a dick. Let her know what's going on.
The last time I saw that guy I thought we were going to go on a date but he came over, fucked me and left without staying the night. Then I got a phone call. In retrospect I'm sure he had already decided to leave and wanted to get some before he left, but felt too guilty to interact with me. Maybe he didn't think I'd put anything together but I knew something was wrong and felt really shitty right after he left.
Also don't try to keep things alive after you leave or use her for emotional support. If you want to be friends with her keep things light and kind of fun. For example if you met through talking about sports do mostly that with her.