Old thread reached bump limit.
GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest
Should I honestly worry about girls in college? I'm an 18 year old virgin and I'm worried I'm "missing out". All my high school peers are dating, going out on international trips with their boyfriends, getting in gangbangs, etc.
getting tired of you calling me handsome, mom. as a kid it's one thing, just basic parent shit. But I'm an adult now. I keep telling you how awkward it sounds but you don't listen. What's wrong with you?
it's because she loves you dumbass
Giving up in finding somebody else. I'd better focus on myself, my progress, my development. I never needed you. Good luck playing the man of the house.
I'm 18 too and I only know like 5 people who have gfs. Most of my friends are arab tho so that might be why. But don't bother too much, it'll come someday. Keep making female friends and an opportunity will happen
respect your mom, loser
I can't get this fucking chick out of my head. We've barely talked, she has no connection with me, and she is usually surrounded by her own friends. I can't approach her like I would any other girl because I like her. I just wish I was either swav enough to pull some charisma on her or able to let it go. As it stands now, this crush just makes me feel like garbage for not being able to approach her. A part of me hopes she has a boyfriend so I have an excuse to let it go without feeling like a coward or thinking about what could have been.
That happened to me last year with two different girls. Idk how it is for you, but for me I had basically 0 experience with girls so I just fell in ''love'' with every girl I had a discussion with
You'll most likely grow out of it. Focus on your life
You stupid bitch. All I wanted was to be with you. I bet I just need to get to know u more and realise what a boring dumb cunt you are... Hopefully. O and BTW thanks for head fucking me so u could have some feel good attention. I'm pretty sure ur dead inside.
So emotions kinda suck.
As a gay dude, most of my crushes have been straight, so I usually give myself a 2 week period to get over a guy that I like. I've had a crush on this one dude for about 3 weeks, and I've somewhat known him for about 4 years (with a year long gap in between due to a school transfer).
He's bi and also single, so I might have a chance, but I'm pretty sure he just sees me as a friend. He comes off as an obnoxious dick to people who don't know him that well, but he also sometimes goes kinda sub and it's really fucking cute???
We also might have cuddled and slept together (not the lewd type) once recently. I'm really debating whether or not if I should ask him out because I'm afraid of ruining our current relationship/being judged.
I've been in a couple relationships before (though neither were that great) and I'm just super careful around every interaction with him because I'm easily flustered and shit and all that bullshit.
So that's my lil ramble about a dude I like.
Damn, it's just not in the stars.
There's no point in being angry like that user. Forget her and focus on you
I feel like any progress I've made is an illusion.
I never seeked help for my troubles. Among other things I had no friends before I was 18, I was bullied by a group of 6 from grade 8 to 10. An older women diddled me when I was 12 in a bubble bath when I was in the swimming pool alone on vacation. I work in mental hospital and I know how the staff talks about patients and read their files. Im worried of voicing my troubles as it could land me in the very fucking same place I work, just at another unit. I could never move around in the mental hospital without worrying I meet a coworker in the hallway. I'm honestly not sure if I should just ride this out and any complaints from my female coworkers about me being boring and quiet I just have to fight back and take my stand. Women have tried to have me fired from previous jobs because I'm a quiet shy introver. I know how to speak for myself and I've won over the liars before. But I dread to imagine the gossip that will ensue if I talk to my doc, end up in mental hospital I work at and coworker spot me. Women are fucking vile and disgusting creatures who will get you fired if you are not a good litt doggie for them to enjoy. I'm also considering packing my belongings and just go all out on my doc and see how my life goes from stable to a shitshow. I have been in hell all my life. Found happiness at age 25 with first gf, said gf cheat agyer 2 years and now I am here. For the 8th fucking time I see the same shit happening as in my previous jobs and I don't like it. I just want to help people and do good. Patients love me, but coworkers usually dislike me.
Or I could do the ultimate social suicide, i whistleblow the government hospital i work at. I've witnessed a lot of law breaking by coworkers. But I will be blacklisted from government positions like hospital for life and god knows what else socialists do to people who rat them out.
I should be happy now. Why am I sadder than ever? Never seeing you again, I promise myself. How can I know one thing in my mind and another in my heart?
I just want to create new happy memories but I'm so trauma bonded to you i can't do anything but fantasise and I sicken myself. I hope stringing me along long enough to take my virginity and have me begging that I loved you and to stop sleeping with other girls, was worth it for your ego.
I don't even want you back I just want you dead. You're such a grotesque husk of a person, I was so wide eyed and innocent. I never planned on being more than friends- you made all the moves. In retrerospect I cringe at how low I set the bar for effort. I can't believe I was so stupid and naive. I hate myself for the way I let you treat me. I can't believe it's creeping on ten years since I met you and I can't shake this scary feeling like you're going to show up any time and control me like you could when I was a teenager. How could you be so cruel just fucking around with so many girls
I'm very interested in a lot of alt-right things and I believe the holocaust is a 100% fabrication and I have no fucking idea how to approach my fiancee about it. (She is a rather mainstream liberal)
This situation consumes my thoughts every day.
Current situation. I'm here for you. Watch your step. With a crush like this, anything you do wrong will make you want to be an hero. Yesterday, I made a stupid joke forgetting my environment and now she's fucking pissed at me. Just when she was starting to talk to me too.
Forgiveness will change your life. I swear on it. Learning to forgive and forget will make you the best person you can possibly be. That, and taking control of your circumstances without self pity. Love yourself, love other, and everything really does get better. I hope you find the right girl one day.
Depends what exactly pissed her off. It could be a red flag.
She's hispanic. Made a joke about hispanic people having a lot of cousins. She told me not to make fun of her heritage and that I took it too far. I wanted to argue, but it'd only make it worse. I'm a chink living in spick land, and the shit I go through everyday is worse than that, and even she makes fun of me for it. Fucking asshole, why can't I stop feeling attracted to her?
Despite me keeping a hectic work schedule I would still stay up and talk to you when you called.. I know that you're busy now but I don't see that same energy from you... It's a letdown but I can't hold people to that standard
My life is too horrible for people to want to be involved with me.
and you need to go talk to her if you're feeling that way
You should try to get a new job if you can. Mental health care attracts some of the most sociopathic women I've met. It's the same for any of the "caring" professions (teachers, childcare, etc) Don't get me wrong, some of them are there for the right reasons but a lot of them would be overjoyed to work for the Nazi mental health system and feel they were doing good. They'll also play the victim and close ranks if you try to rat them up, especially as they won't document a lot of their more grievous actions. Get a new job and get someone you can trust.
Good luck user. Some women are okay, it's just the shitbags among them have such a tiny chance of ever getting called on anything they're often worse and less obvious than male shitbags.
Can't be worse than me. I'm 28 and still virgin. Considering an Escort or two for a threesome, because I went on a date 2 weeks ago and I spilled so much spaghetti I don't think there is any hope for me to attract girls unless I get experience from escorts. I was super afraid to act on her signals and by the end I could see how dissapointed she was that I took no chances. And I am 6'6 tall. I tried to ask for help from a man I met while smoking one of the 2 times I've went out to the city and he told his gf he was going to help me break the ice but his gf said "he don't need help, he is tall".
Being tall, introvert, shy and not Chad is suffering. People assume I'm good because tall = good, but I am far from good. Got money, car, apartment and job but no game. I get looks so I'm not ugly as I am lifting and losing weight. But it's when I open my mouth my inexperience shows. Texting is fine but face to face with girl is difficult. Not having any friends either makes it difficult for me to drag my ass outside to try approach girls to fix my issues. It's slow progress and I will probably be a wizard because I procrastinate very often and just stay home and relax instead of daring to go out of my comfort zone and get become more confident. This is the price I pay for being raised by single mom and a big and little sister. I worry like a girl instead of grabbing chances like a man and I hate myself for being like this. I have to learn masculinity from books and Internet. Will try going out for a 3rd time on Tuesday or Friday with the goal of talking to at least 5 random women. Hoping for results this time but I keep my expectations low.
So cheer up. Know that tall people suffer too. It's not only the manlets who suffer. I wish I was shorter to be honest.
I haven't really dated anyone since my freshman year of college. I'm in my junior year now and I matched with this insanely attractive chick on tinder (tinder is total ass btw, shit sucks). After a few days worth of texting back and forth we go on a coffee date. I thought it went really well and apparently so did she because we went on another date afterwards. I actually felt chemistry with her. I haven't felt that spark in so long that it got me too excited to be with her and I basically hounded her into not wanting to see me anymore. I texted her everyday, I responded insanely quick to her, I was trying to wrap myself around her finger. I fucking blew it. I don't think she's gonna get back to me anymore. I can't believe how stupid I am. She liked me and I drove her straight out of my arms
Mine is worse than yours but I won't belittle the magnitude that is your suffering.
I'll just put it here for when/if he ever comes back I guess.
>what the fuck is your problem?
This line is my problem...
>this seriously makes me think that women just crave abuse
I'm not trying to lump you in with trolls, I'm saying you could be one of them.If you're not, good that means you don't ramble on about racism and shit just to fuck with people and cause chaos.
If you truly are bitter, then I hope you can improve because I'm also trying to solve bitterness.
No. Girls aren't important.
Worry about it when it happens.
Thanks. Luckily because healthcare is 90% government run in my country, its an overwhelming amount of women working compared to men. In 5 of my 8 work places I've been the only male. I would like to switch fields but not sure I can handle any more academia as I was never book smart. But mental patients reassure me that school grades mean shit and that I am socially intellect which they like. Yes, I am a bit personal with some patients because the chemistry is there and 9 times out of 10 I work with coworkers with no chemistry.
I am stuck in caring jobs unless I reschool myself. I could always go back to nursing home or apartments for people who live by themselves, but have healthcare personell nearby that can help.
One example was on a nightshift where I sat in the hallway with 4 coworkers. One of the bipolar patients quietly opened his door and asked for an apple. The nurse in charge was a big African man probably at 6'7 that grabbed his throat and pinned him to the wall and simplu said "go to sleep". The other 3 didn't react at all. I looked and was shocked to see how the nightshifts treat patients. Two days later I work early shift and said patient was having conversation with his treatment doctor. But the doctors are pussies so they want a nurse with them which happened to be me. I start sweating but i know this patient is often forgetful in his mania. He starts by telling the doctor about big black nightshift who pinned him and grabbed his throat. Im starting to feel very bad but I'm just an observing 3rd party that don't speak unless spoken to in the meeting. The doctor then tell the patient "are you sure it's not something on your head you imagine?". The patient was obviously pissed off for bit being believed. It's been so painful to see this and how far this "coworkers before patients, bro" thing is here. I Almost feel like whistle blowing just for the sake of the patients who get mistreated. But it would be social suicide.
Also phone posting on the final hour of my nightshift so sorry for typos. And I'm lucky because I am a man and have a penis and. Can basically land any healthcare nurse positions available simply due to government wanting more men in healthcare.
I'm starting to hate my job, I don't feel like have any real friends and I'm touch starved as fuck. Word.
i have a giant gay crush on a twitch streamer and it's so dumb. he is cute, funny, composed, has a good laugh, even an "unattractive" facial feature of his is something i have a thing for on most guys. i know it would never happen in 1000 years even if i was female but he is like perfect in every way i actually feel something when i watch his stream it's so fucking dumb and im so lonely.
Taking a clean shit is so underrated.
Fucking hit the nail on the head m8
I don't think even hard work is gonna fix this one.
My online friend turned out to be alive and well. She'd been missing for 5 months and I had no way to contact her. I thought she might've killed herself or something considering her last status update in November was depression related.
I'm not dead inside,, and no you didn't want to
Sometimes I feel like “Love” isn’t real and dating people is pointless. I see these couples and they never stay together longer than 2/3 years, I’ve had the same experience
I used to want to date people but now I don’t really care or want to put in effort to try to be romantic or sexual with somebody
I wonder if when you told me that "people don't change" if you meant it as more than just you being cynical. I wonder if you meant it as a warning about yourself. I can't deal with your depression. Fuck, I love you but you really don't seem to want to get better. You come to me and complain and seek comfort about/from things you can work on to improve. I give you solutions but you really are the horse that won't drink. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just lie to you and tell that things will get better without you having to do a single thing about it? I know we're supposed to be patient with the ones we love, but everything has limits.
I can't deal with the same shit almost every day. If it's not the depression, it's your lack of energy, or the weird psychosomatic shit where you get sick due all the stress. You stress about being stressed. Can't sleep because you get nightmares and it's my job to somehow deal with them. You call in the middle of the night, early morning. Fuck, I work and I'm trying to go to school at the same time. What the fuck more can I give? I'm so fucking tired that I don't even want sex, I just want sleep and maybe death. You act like this and then ask me if I like spending time with you? That you wonder why I have been a little unsure about us? I need to a day away. Maybe a week. I need rest.
Why is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder a thing? It was nine fucking years ago and has nothing to do with me anymore. It shouldn't be affecting my life like this after so long. Everyone says "just let it go" but how the fuck do you do that? Ignoring it doesn't work. Repeating some mantra doesn't work.
I love my boyfriend more than I've ever loved another person. Hes down to earth, understanding, caring, literally I never question if he loves me. My issue is, hes depressed. Hes on meds, the whole ordeal. But he doesnt work or plan on working. He escapes through video games and pot. This has been going on for years. We live with his parents and honestly I think hes content with it. Today I am happy with him and I've never felt love so strong. But realistically I keep on thinking how can i have a future with him and kids with him if he is only living for today. He doesnt plan ahead. I have a savings account but if he has $5 in his pocket it's gone. He doesnt ask for anything from me. No money, not a thing. He just loves me and wants me to be with him. I'm so happy with him I dont want to leave. But hes not going to change. If he ever works he will "become a wage slave just to stay alive and be miserable until he dies" I just want a future and a family and I really wanted it to be with him. I have no idea whether to follow my brain or my heart. I dont want to give up on him after all these years but realistically he isn't on the path to our future yet. Even though he wants a future it's as though he expects it to just happen with no thought or hard work.
You'll thank me later.
I'm going to die and nobody is going to notice for a long while.
I will and now I'm upset.
Can’t tell if I’m just being paranoid or if I’m being fucked with. my intuition & the behavior of some people I’m close to makes me worry that I’m being spied on and it’s creeping me out. If im not being gaslighted and the paranoia is really coming back then I may just end up giving up and killing myself. I’m on my meds and taking care of myself, this shouldn’t be happening
Suicide is for retards.
Just live in hedonism and say fuck everyone, works for mem
What did you expect when he watches crap like MDE? You think MDE fans on Jow Forums were just joking around? Forget about him and fuck that guy, unless you're an alt-righter yourself then you pretty much asked for it..
Finding the source and not getting caught up and attached is difficult. I wish I could live a normal life in this shell of a world. I want a family. A loving one. Something draws me away like a mosquito to the light. Some days I can see, visually, people being moved around like pawns on a chess board. They don’t realize what’s happening. I’m not immune to it. A hint there, an ad here, coincidences and preferences. What decides a preference, but it’s bond with a familiar emotion. What you’re familiar with isn’t always best. It takes immense dedication and perseverance to steer ourselves on our best course. They say we are our own worst enemy. We let negative personalities influence us out of loneliness.
I’ve been a piece of shit. Thanks for reading my blog.
I'm fucking crazy
Maybe just maybe
I'll make it alone
I've lost 20 pounds in the span of 3 months because I'm not eating properly and I can't stop. My period became irregular. My hair is not silky smooth anymore. I have bruises all over my legs and it looks like someone beat me. I have no idea where they came from. My body is so fragile.
I want to stop but I can't. It's so difficult. I want to be healthy.
I'm not alt-right, but I do hold conservative values.
I thought he was smart enough to not take it seriously. But he did. I even tried to sway him away from it, which would start some of the fights...
I'm really trying to forget about him, but we had our whole lives planned out together. I'm still even a little scared to talk about it anywhere because I feel like some MDEtard he hung out with will screen it and be all:
>"Is this femanon talking about you?"
And I worry he'll become physically abusive and not just emotionally abusive.
Have you ever been paranoid before? It left me completely unable to do anything enjoyable. paralyzed with fear and afraid to leave my room. I would much rather be dead than to have to go through that nightmare again
Stupid question, but have you ever talked to him directly about your future together?
It’s okay if you give up. I gave up too
You’re better with that person. We never got along like that
It's never too late to get up and try again user.
Waited too long. Jealousy. Self aware
Waited too long for...?
I’m going to larp here but
I don’t want to give up. I don’t want you to give up either.
How did all these people pop up like that youre making me cry
Calm down, take a deep breath and relax. It's okay. Just try to calm down.
Haha it’s a good kind of crying I think. Just touching I guess that random people care about a small vague post
Mine was severe. Still pretty bad. I had to be institutionalized. The medicine helps but i stopped because of side effects.
Try and relax. Don't be irrational. Drink some water, eat.
Tell someone close to you.
It's bait tho
I know this is stupid and melodramatic, but I feel like I'm close to reaching the end. Nothing ever pans out and even if it did to some extent life still seems like it's utterly pointless. I think I've finally got what I need to take the rope in my shed and hang myself from a tree down by the river. I just wish my family wasn't going to be hurt by it, but I can't ever seem to make them see my way on this. Maybe life has meaning or purpose for some people, but those people need to accept that for others sometimes it just isn't there. You guys are the only people I can tell because at least I stand a good chance of you actually encouraging me to do it.
I mean ur not wrong and they have no idea what I’m talking about but for some reason it touched me. Maybe I’m just exhausted and overly emotional at the moment
Well, don't do it user.
You have meaning to your family and other anons.
Just gotta keep looking for your purpose still, it may not be on the path you are on now, so maybe turn left and take another path to find your meaning.
>Me, Sister and some randos get on elevator
>She's already mad at something but starts raging even louder among these strangers
>Tell her to calm down and save it for when we get inside
>Tells me to shut up and that she's passionate, then keeps raging
>Just turn my back to her, face the elevator door and not say another word
>Feels so fucking embarrassed
It's one thing to be a dumbshit on your own, but don't force me down to your level
As an extra tip, paranoia and halucinations can ramp up faster than you can comprehend, ie. (I'm on a spaceship and my mom abducted me for a government experiment) to the point of suicide and homicide. If you reach that point, you have to get help.
It's not really fair if you know I like you but I don't get to know how you feel...
I miss insanity. I want it back. It feels so good to me.
I don't believe these guys love me. I think it's all an act. Would all of them be lying? It's possible, right?
I need to stop talking to him.
Thank you for the guidance and reminders.
I am having a hard time trusting the people close to me anymore. I did text a family member who had been able to help me reality test & rationalize. Hoping they will reply when they wake up. Took my meds and drank some water. Too anxious to eat though. I don’t want to go to the hospital again. I hate it there. I am afraid of my meds not working anymore.
I don’t want to be stuck inside my room all day, neglecting schoolwork and paralyzed with fear. I am about to graduate college in just a few months and I am so scared that having these psychotic breaks will destroy my progress and any chance I have at a future. The future looks bleak from my perspective.. Whether or not its in my head, it’s still psyching me out. I don’t want people fucking spying on me. But I don’t want to be delusional either. I’m calling my therapist tomorrow.
Sometimes they are following you. Just putting that out there because people used to think that people who believed the NSA were listening to them, were nuts.
I feel like this shit is stress induced.
Reduce your stress in a healthy way, and address anything that needs your attention.
Shower, clean your room, eat, play video games. Keep up your responsibilities but add extra time for destressing. Also no pot until you have it under control
This is true. Everything we do on/near our phone's is probably on a hard drive beyond your comprehension in a u.s bunker for later analysis by future generations. But this guy is have a case of psychosis, note the unabashed fear and confusion.
When was the last time you ate? No meeting basic needs like hunger can exacerbate the situation
Here is the thing - if the guy is suicidal anyway, he has to think why he's afraid. He needs to just confront his fear and say, who cares if I die anyway. Then the fear is gone.
Yeah she's seeing someone else, but what are you gonna do? bitch about it?
You're just her friend you moron, she's not romantically interested in you. So stop daydreaming scenarios that will never happen because it's pathetic. You're pathetic.
hey, I'm someone with a diagnosis of schizophrenia who has been pretty stable in recovery for over a decade. It honestly sounds like a near identical experience with what I was going through off meds. Delusions (is unfortunately the word), withdrawal hyping up your anxiety, executive dysfunction. Are you on Quetiapene by chance? If so I can give some super specific pointers. But if not, some general ones : mental illnesses come in waves sometimes. You might need a higher dosage of medication or a new one altogether. That's fine, it's very common, it doesn't mean you're doomed or that you'll end up in a hospital. You also need to try and take your medication regularly. If you don't, you're gonna get withdrawal on top of them not working.
It's too late to make a move now, you should've done it a year ago.
Now I remember how you talked about seeing my tits. That wouldn't have been possible unless you hacked me.
I just don't get how you keep hoping that you will get her someday. It was all over when she ignored you. No matter how drastically you change, you're no more than just a friend to her. Who the fuck likes outcast anyway.
i feel more connected than ever to my friends, yet im as lonely as ever and i cant stop pushing people away because im so insecure and un-confident in myself and i cant escape the feelings i used to get as a result of people pretending to be my friend to get information from me to bully me with.
that really fucked me up
i just want to have a good time with my pals, but i keep stressing out and procrastinating on doing it because im extremely scared of intimacy with people, and i just feel like people will abuse me
same reason i havent dated anyone in years
same reason im not too close to my family, despite living with them for a majority of my life
I'm no longer deluded about the possibility of a second relationship with you. You've made it clear how you feel about that. I worry about you in your current relationship, what with all you told me. Since we last spoke, I've been putting it out of my mind, because I can't do anything about the situation, but recently, it's been weighing on me really hard. I don't know why. Are you ok? I hope so.
I wish I could just find a way that would be the least amount of pain to kill myself.
Maybe I’ll just take a shit ton of painkillers and hurt myself. Idk.
She is never allowed to see you or your family again. I put my foot down for her sake.
I did have breakfast and a bag of chips later. I’d like to eat I just feel sick.
Yes I am on quetiapine. Currently 250mg/day but have been on up to 600mg/day. It has worked for years with fewer side effects than zyprexa or abilify. An increase in dosage may help as I’ve noticed it isn’t even making me sleepy at night anymore... I don’t have a dx of schizophrenia but am told I am bipolar with psychotic features.
Also haven’t missed a dose in months but am willing to entertain the idea that the pills aren’t working anymore, or that it’s a stress induced episode
Why am I mystified by you? Why can I be my typical self until you are within earshot? Is it because I can't have you? Is it because I know you hardly know I exist? Out of all the times we've worked together, do you even know my name?
It started as a slight joke made out of being horny, and almost a year later I am here with no options except to just wait until these feelings die. From what I've heard you aren't worth it at all, but I want to make that decision for myself based on the words from your mouth. But even then, there is nothing that can be done. Even if my delusion is met, you would still have to turn me down to prevent fucking up your future.
I have eyes for no one else, so I can't get over you by getting under someone else. All I can do is wait and I've grown so impatient
I didn't cum last time because i could tell you were exhausted and not super into it. I'm very perceptive.
You stupid fuck. She's a psycho, fuck her all you like I'm not touching that whore. Go fuck yourself too I can fuck your life up if you're gonna fuck with me again, you coked up cunt!
Thanks for trying, but it's not quite that simple.
I fapped twice in a row to the same porn, I mean like watched, fapped, then almost immediately started it over and fapped again. I don't think I've ever done that before. Now it's a couple hours later and I keep thinking I want to again. It's not even a unique or unusual scene or anything, just regular old porn. I don't know what the heck is going on.
pic related, she's not even especially super hot or anything.
Yes I have. He would love to have a house and kids with me and get married. He just is too smart for his own good and doesnt think that its within reach anytime soon. Sadly he talks about the future as if it's so far away yet we should be there already. Everyone works at their own pace and I try to be supportive and patient I'm just hoping that im not ruining my own future by trying to create his if that makes any sense. Hes smart and he has potential and a huge heart. He wants great things he just doesnt put effort into achieving them.. he puts effort in the relationship no doubt and if I pushed him to he would get a job but it's basically forcing him into a lifestyle that he doesnt want. Hes gotten a couple jobs and I've never seen him more miserable and he doesnt stick with anything then he gets discouraged about it. I try to be supportive and say maybe it wasnt a proper fit and I help him search for something he will enjoy but honestly I dont think he wants to work period. Doesnt matter the job. Hes had some easy gigs. And hes not lazy from anything other than being lazy. Hes physically lean to fit and stuff. He just has no motivation or drive and I continuously try to help him feel a sense of accomplishment to know how I feel regularly but hes just not cut in that kind of a shape. I'm not sure if it's the mental illness or he genuinely is like this all together but it's been 4 years of helping him at his own pace. I've always been driven. Wake up early for coffee and breakfast type. Grocery shop go for drives dont party just typical person. I'm comfortable working full time steady hours and living life without complications. I dont need anything from him aside from him to be there and return the love I have to offer, but my long term goals are dedicated and hes not working toward it even though the end game is the same.