This is my first time on Jow Forums. I don't even know why I'm posting this here but I guess I need some people to talk to about my situation. I come from a third world shithole but life isn't that bad. Inherited a chain restaurant from my father, we make good money. Puts us in upper middle class. Now coming to the problem, it's my wife. Ours was an arranged marriage, yeah, yeah, I know. She comes from a really influential family and my father wanted that to increase our business. Either way we got married 4 years ago. It's been hell. Woman is a devil. Everything has to go her way, doesn't understand how life works because her daddy always got her what she wanted. She's a complete spoiled brat. It still astonishes me how I haven't woken up with a knife in my hand and her dead body next to me.
In a happy relationship but got a baggage called wife
I had to get away from her and the toxic environment she produces. So used the excuse of us opening a new branch in a far away state to move away from home. In reality, I rented a small apartment in the next town, this way I could stay away from her as well as take care of my business with the help of my friend. This all happened 6 months ago. Two weeks into settling in my new place I met this young woman who stole my heart. I wouldn't call her attractive but that's irrelevant because she's the most beautiful woman to me. She's smart, kind, compassionate, understanding. Completely opposite to my bitch wife. We are really compatible. I've been with a lot of women but that's only because they were after my money. This women lent me money, books and her utensils because she thought I was struggling with money, that too without even me asking. No one has ever done that to me before. 4 months ago I asked her out, she reciprocated. We are together now. It was all going great until my friend dropped by as he does every month. He found out about my girlfriend, she had moved in a few weeks ago. He's now pissed at me, says I need to immediately go back home and confess everything to my wife. I know I was cheating on my wife but I don't see why friend is blowing up. Call me paranoid but I think he fell for my girlfriend and is now trying to break us up. Honestly if that turns out to be true I'll bury him ten feet under. I haven't told my girlfriend about anything and if I do I'm sure she'll leave me. I'm stuck in this situation and don't know what to do. I threatened my friend to keep his mouth shut, he agreed and left but I'm not sure he will. What must I do to get out of this situation. I just feel like running away with my girlfriend.
Tl;Dr Left home to get away from bitch wife. Fell in love with a girl I met in town. Friend found out about it and is trying to break us apart.
Divorce and move towns.
Why is your friend such a little bitch? Idk, don’t do anything unless he tells her something.
I did mention being in third world country because it makes it complicated, her family is going to come after me, them being powerful and all. Also my family is going to be really pissed because 'muh honor'.
I'll handle my friend one way or the other. What should I say to my girlfriend?
Is divorce an option?
This might go wrong, but chances are high that your wife also doesn‘t really want to be married to you.
But since you have an arranged marriage, i‘m going to assume that divorce would bring shame to your families, which is probably to be avoided.
Would it be possible that your wife would agree on keeping up the favade of being a happily married couple whilst you both live your own lifes?
She would obviously want to stay in the position to benefit from your wealth. And maybe she‘d be happy to just be able to do whatever she wants and would agree to keep this going for the sake of your families and not kill you. Might be a big risk but if she‘s down it would be the most elegant solution.
My wife's the most malicious woman I've ever met. It's not that she has bad thoughts, it's simply her nature. She would want to stay married to me simply out of spite and stubbornness. She'll let herself be miserable as long as it means that others are also miserable.
Here's what you do. You live in a 3rd world country. You own your wife. Beat her into submission and move your new gf in and tell her to deal with it. Like, beat her beat her.
Yeah, you already mentioned that.
But have you ever considered that maybe she‘s such a bitch because getting married to you was the last thing she ever wanted?
Have you ever actually tried to get to know her? Maybe she loved someone else before she had to get married and that‘s why she‘s so bitter...
She also knows the consequences for your families if you get a divorce. I don‘t think she would be totally against this option.
I mean, sure, i don‘t know your wife. Maybe she is actually out to make your life living hell. But i know humans. And every human has basic needs. One of them being that one feels like you are in charge of your life. Getting married against your will definitely violates that need.
Another one is feeling loved and wanted. Being married to someone who hates your guts doesn‘t help with that either...
maybe keep this option in your mind. Maybe try to meet up with your wife and test the waters. Ask if she‘s happy. How she feels about the arranged marriage. What her dreams were for her future. If she has ever been in love. I‘m sure you are i telligent enough to subtly find out if she would be open to this.
Don't think her daddy would be okay with little princess getting hurt.
Fine. I'll admit that i hate my wife and maybe it's clouding my judgement. But how do I bring up the affair? or should I even bring it up? What if she will use it against me?
can't you leave india?
No, don‘t bring it up. Maybe a lot later. Just say that you feel like you both would be happier if you could live your lifes separate between the „happy married couples“ family reunions.
If you drop the gf bomb before you know that this is a setting she also wants, she WILL use it against you so be carefull there.
don't bring up the affair OP.
she'll chew you out, even if she agrees to divorce you have to give 50%+maintenance.
and she does not agree to divorce than she'll be more resentful, will actively try to make your life hell.
her daddy and brothers may brake your bones and false police complains.
Guess I could do that. But what about my girlfriend, what should I tell her?
Does she know about your wife?
If not, i‘d be 100% honest. Tell her the situation. That the marriage was arranged and that you and your wife really don‘t like each other and that you rented this place to escape her. Tell her about your plans to propose keeping up the facade. She lives in the same place as you and she‘ll probably understand how important it is to not sully your families honour.
Can you reduce the marriage to its barest bones? I cannot imagine there aren't plenty of arranged marriages where the husband basically tells the wife she gets an allowance of XX money a month and lets her stay in the smaller bedroom of the house and they just live together for the sake of maintaining the idea of the arrangement.
Marry them both. What kind of shithole do you live in that allows arranged marriages but not polygamy?
Why don't you just kill her? you live in a 3rd world shithole right who would know?
Read the novel Stoner.
Tell your gf at least. She deserves to know that she's wasting her time and that you'll never marry her. She'll never be your wife, she's only a warm hole to you.
Come to America! Bring your new girl too.