Thinking of breaking up with my gf of 7 years. I don't feel like we are right for each other, the lifes we want are irreconcilable. I feel miserable around her more than I feel good. On the other hand I still love her (but no longer romantically) and I love her family, more than my own.
I have no friends or family I would be comfortable talking about this with. How do I know if my thinking is right? How do you even separate from someone you have been living together with for over 6 years. Neither of us have anywhere else local to stay.
Hmm. Being miserable around a person. That's very observant of you.
I've noticed that I'm miserable around some people too. The common denominator for that misery is feeling helpless to make things better. Usually, the misery comes from a heavy combination of pessimism, ignorance, depression, and hardship. It's like gazing into the abyss. Those people leave me stupefied.
But the truest common denominator in my misery is, well, myself. Because I'm in every situation that I'm in. I'm around whenever I'm around others. So after being surrounded by these black holes of despair, the only thing I could really change was myself.
It was weird at first. It started with hardship, and standing up to be the guy that kept spirits high. I just kept encountering these dark hearts and staying true to optimism. Over time, that optimism for others, became optimism for myself.
And now, the common denominator when I'm around people who are hurting, isn't the pain. It's the optimism, the high energy, the good spirit and camaraderie. Because I have no sadness in my soul to make 2 peas in a pod. But there is still hope in a person if they are alive. So that makes a common denominator.
Maybe it's time to stand up to the misery and become happy. Life is crazy awesome if you're optimistic.
If you truly feel like you aren't for her, break up with her now and deal with the fallout later. You'll only keep her in an illusion for more the longer you wait to end it.
This is the worst thing I have read on Jow Forums in my 12 years here. I hope you get hit by a truck.
dump her man, you deserve to be alone
>in my 12 years here You've been a displaced plebbitor for 12 years. It's easy to see.
>Retarded optimism isn't Reddit
potential copypasta here
Wow bud, are you going to greentext me to death? Where's your sense of adventure? Gone with the rest of your hopes and dreams, replaced with regret? How about you grow a pair and believe in something rather than be a coward and react to everything in your life. Do you not realize how weak the "fuck optimism" mindset is?
OP here, she is the only person I have ever been miserable around. It's a clash of personalities. She is neurotic and a 'basic' person who likes all those normie things. I am more go-with-the-flow and anticonsumerist. Her idea of a good trip to Japan is going to see Disneyland which is the last thing in the world I would ever want to do. She is constantly disappointed in the presents I get her (despite her not having given me any birthday or xmas presents during the time we have been together). She talks constant shit about my family and I don't like them but even I think she needs to reel it in. It's such a clash of personalities and I can tell that we haven't made each other happy in years. Miserable doesn't mean I act like a bore, I still act chipper and cheery but she does not react to it. It is incredibly exhausting trying to act happy in these situations and days when she/we are particularly bad I contemplate taking my life rather than having to continue like that.
Why'd it take 7 fucking years to come to this obvious conclusion? If you aren't planning marriage by 3 that's a massive red flag that you're wasting your time with someone.
I'm not one to tell people to break up. But I can tell now that you should.
I have never had any interest in marriage (another point of contention). At that point in our relationship we were closer but we have grown further apart.
So why did you keep it going on for this fucking long? If you don't know why you're doomed to do it again with the next slut.
Last time I tried to break up with her (a coupe months ago) she convinced me to give things another go. Things were ok because we were very busy with new jobs and her family visiting so we weren't around each other enough to bother one another.
"we've been together for so long it would be a shame to break it off now"? What was the excuse the first time?
Something like "we still love each other let's make it work"
Bullshit. If you "love each other" and know that it's not working, it is your mutual responsibility to break it off so that the other has the opportunity to find the right person.