How can I stop seeking validation from the internet? I'm 21 KHV, so whenever I feel really lonely, I post on /soc/ rate threads using some flattering angles and get some good rates which makes me not feel worthless. However, my therapist told me that this is not healthy for me, and is only furthering my low self esteem. Still, I don't get any validation in real life, so it drives me crazy if I don't post online (doesn't help that I have OCD as well).
How can I kick the validation habit? Getting pussy in real life isn't an option since I'm an autistic beta with shit social skills. Hobbies and lifting don't seem to work either.
Why care about what ppl think lmao they dont really give a shit
Chase Taylor
The internet doesn't care. Find new friends, talk up to new people go to places in your own. Stop seeking validation, find a way to distract yourself from what's tricking you. Focus on yourself not what you post online. One day you'll look back and regret the amount of time you lost.
Nathan Davis
I'm ugly as fuck and I still got a few girls rating me 8/10 on /soc/. You're an idiot if you take that shit seriously. People rate others highly to feel good about themselves.
Jack Morris
I have to disagree my man. I've been on /soc/ for about a year now and clearly ugly people get rated low. What does get inflated is average looking dudes and girls, but you can get a feel of where you stand after a while.
Eli Reed
>However, my therapist told me that this is not healthy for me, and is only furthering my low self esteem. Still, I don't get any validation in real life, so it drives me crazy if I don't post online (doesn't help that I have OCD as well). He's not wrong, you're showing high levels of codependency without even having someone to latch onto yet. You need to grow yourself as a man - take time to think of your life and learn. Knowing yourself is the beginning to all wisdom as Aristotle once said.
Self awareness is key to discovering what will make you feel complete in life. Solitude, meditation/ prayer, and exploration are good ways to to discover yourself. More importantly it builds self esteem, something you clearly need.
>I have OCD as well Ah, have you ever seen the documentary "Point and Shoot" by chance? There have been many people with such a disorder who have gone on to find fullfilment and self esteem through time and effort.
Easton Green
You'll simply have to have sex. At this point in time you should already know what you have to do in order to achieve that, so you'll have to go through with it.
Aiden Powell
Easier said than done. I'm awkward, low confidence and have no experience which is practically a death sentence.
Brayden Williams
Yeah, but what does that mean? What specifically is wrong with you? If it isn't a horrible physical defect you can probably train yourself to overcome it.
Elijah Cruz
I have a weird personality. I say odd things and have bad timing when it comes to talking. I also typically sabotage myself if there is any hints of romantic advancement. In terms of looks I'm not ugly, but I'm not exactly attractive either. I'm what one would describe as "not bad".
In terms of "getting over it", I would have to fundamentally change who I am, which is extremely hard to do.
Joseph Wilson
Those are all symptoms. They themselves can be trained out of you if you wanted to enough, but there has to be something deeper. Do you like being considered weird? Would you gain more from being part of a group or from complaining that you are not?
Justin Hall
>I say odd things and have bad timing when it comes to talking Everyone does. Many of the most famous and influential people of all time were eccentric weirdos outside of their public life or sometimes even openly yet were still beloved by many. I make friends very easily and can get along with just about anyone even after making a serious faux pas , really when you try and interact with people you start to notice it less overtime through exposure. If the issue is anxiety then I would suggest exposure therapy, which in reality means just gradually becoming more comfortable with people overtime through a regimented system of exposing yourself to interactions that might make you anxious.
>I sabotage myself when it comes to romantic advancement Then stop being afraid of change m8
Asher Martin
I think it's fine that I'm weird, but I feel like it severely limits my dating pool. Also, I do have friends, and they are similarly weird just as me. The only thing is that they are good looking (objectively), so they receive validation and can pull off being weird confidently
Brandon Hernandez
>Even after making a serious faux pas
How do you do it? Just act like it never happened?
Kevin Williams
Post pics OP
Brayden Parker
Well, it's hard to describe to someone who still has major issues with social anxieties. You just learn to embrace your flaws and make an effort to either change them or accept them. After long enough it's almost like you stop noticing them, you stop feeling fear over coming to terms with what failures you've made.
That feeling of being able to embrace your mistakes just becomes more common and takes less long to process over a period of time, so anxiety diminishes and determination is there instead. Most people have insecurities and failures of their own, eventually you just become comfortable with their mistakes too as you learn more about them. After that love is usually pretty easy to fall into , it's like you just carelessly drift into someone's arms and , forgetting why, another person is always there for you for some reason.
Henry Bailey
Nice try Satan
So basically not give a fuck and I will find someone eventually?
Brandon Evans
I rolled trips and 666 plus you're not going with my request? Worst OP
Nicholas Lewis
Pretty much, you just forget being anxious about the smaller things in life and move on
Luis Williams
Alright user you guilt tripped me
Ok, I will attempt this "idgaf attitude". Hopefully I will survive the cringe
Damn I thought you were a girl I got two threads confused. I used my trips on a dude. Anyways you're not bad looking though.. I'd still say slightly above average in a non gay way. I didn't start getting attention from women till I turned 23-24 and started staying away from bar scenes. Use what you're good at and attract women that way. Dont try to be someone you're not.
I never got laid in high school and was always passed over for my friends who were much more outgoing than me. It did affect me and my confidence and then I just realised that I'm not that bad and just attracted women in other ways than acting like a drunk idiot.
Dont worry too much, try to worry a little less and you'll be juggling women in time.
Jeremiah Peterson
Sorry to disappoint, but thanks for the serious advice user. It motivates me to try harder and not be a little bitch.
Joseph Williams
bump because I relate to this very much so and I also have OCD
Joshua Lopez
Improve social skills dipshit Looks are really not that important as long as you're not mouthbreather ugly
