GIOYC / Get It Off Your Chest

why would I go to prison?
accidents happen all the time

I build up this boiling rage every time I think of her. I was so mad I threw my dish across the room. I just want to forget about her.

Been there for nearly 10 years now, girl I was with for over 5 years decided to leave me one day for someone she met online, at first I was so depressed, so sad, but then my sadness turned to anger, and I was so angry at both her and myself for letting it control my life

Don't let her control your life, or else she wins, she hurt you, backstabbed you, treated you like shit, and by being angry because of her is exactly what she wants.

He's gonna fucking hurt you.
I wish you'd let me protect you from him.

I miss you a lot, but I know I have to keep distance. It hurts so much. I just want to talk to you again without these regrets and bitterness I carry.

Why do you do this to me? I always fucking help you out with everything. I fix your dirtbikes and computers when they break. I always let you use my belongings when you need it. I always give you free rides to places when you need it because you're a nocar fag. I'm being a good brother because that's the way brothers should treat each other. Yet the second I look away you steal anything I leave around. You steal my money, cigarettes, booze, weed. The list goes on. You always treat me with negativity like it was granted I am nice towards you. Why the fuck are you such an asshole? I don't fucking get it.

Don't, she probably deserves it.

do you find these things and read them, J? Do you delude yourself into thinking it’s me writing them to you? And that the initial is not your name but rather one of your pseudonyms? H, M, K, whoever
Maybe you’re not wrong. This is the diary I like. A shout into the ether that slowly burns back to nothingness. magic.

Get a hunting permit.

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>qt girl in class that I was interested in has a girlfriend
Oh well, at least she's cool af. A new friend is nice too.

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If you get involved he will just hurt you too. Please find someone who doesn't have so much drama going on in their life.

Whenever I try to forgive and forget, a part of me always try to justify my hatred. And it keeps getting worse.

Why is it that a good deal of people named Hunter as fucking assholes in one way or another?

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>tfw suppressing gay feelings my entire life
>fell in love with bff in highschool, turned out to be abusive, haven't had a female friend since
>huge social idiot, thought that crush and others were "special exceptions" and my fear of women is because of her
>so much denial
>forcing myself to date random guys and slut around online for validation in late teens
>bullied for years and ugly and low self esteem so was an idiot
>not attracted to bf much from start few years ago, start dating anyways
>imagine myself as a cool femdom girlfriend and we have that relationship for a while
>gradually stop, start becoming myself more, less affectionate, more vanilla, less sex, periods of almost breaking up over and over and dealing with his sexual problems too
>still dating, he just loves me unconditionally, I do love him too, we are so close, we care for each other
>started to embrace my bisexuality a couple years ago, reading lesbian stuff and media online, accepting myself more
>start to realize recently how bad this is
>realize how bad the denial is
>realize why I have these issues with addiction and why I'm so afraid of women and STILL can't even fucking make friends with another woman
>realize why I always have such an aversion to my bf's family and don't want to be around them
I'm so scared of everything changing. What if I'm wrong? I have wanted to break up so many times our entire relationship, though. Every bf I've had I always wanted to break up the entire fucking time. Never connected the dots. I feel retarded, like I don't even know myself. I wonder if this is just my anxiety. I don't know. I'm a coward, I probably won't do anything. I need therapy so bad. I don't know what to do. I feel like a bitch and a fake and a liar and a horrible person, a two-faced crazy person. I don't even know, I am just so confused and depressed

When I barely know a person, I can be super cool and shit, but once I get to know them better, a become super shy because I'm afraid to fuck it up (and usually it's my shyness that fuck it up)

I feel like there's some kind of universal force trying to shove me into being a neet forever no matter what efforts I put in. No jobs I fit in, reliable transportation being there then not being there then being there then not being there over and over again, mentally just constantly being drained., it's hell and I need money and to get the hell out of here.

Time for me to move on. I’m so beaten down I don’t know how to feel. I’ll always love you, tho.

My brother is three years younger than me and has always been stronger and more of a man, it actually makes me feel like a wimp. It's normal for brothers to wrestle and fight a bit, isn't it? Well, I've never beaten him once. I got my ass kicked by him despite being three years older, at one point the gap got so large that he had to hold back in order not to hurt me.
When he was 5, he started football/soccer and soon was found to be very talented in it. Now, at 16, he plays for the local professional team. As a result, he has become strong and athletic. Not only his body, but also his mind has become strong, he's a real alpha male now. It has always been that he's the "man" of us. Now he's also taller than me (6'3 to 6'2) and he's had sex with a 9/10 bombshell while I've never even held hands with a girl.

I respect and love him, he's my brother after all and he's cool about it. I'm not that much of a wimp myself, but I still need to make my peace with the fact that I've always been the weaker of us. It has always bothered me that he is the physical and dominant one.

I fall in love easily especially with broken girls
I find myself happy trying to provide her anything she needs,
and when we split, I enjoy the time being sad and lonely until I meet a new broken girl

it goes like this again and again

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He said your neighbors

same

>sophomore year
>sitting on bus
>girl a few seats away is feeling sad
>some other kids are trying to cheer her up
>one of them asks me, "hey, [x] is pretty, right?"
>she is
>but depression can make you feel otherwise
>iktf
>what i wanted to say: "that's an understatement, but yeah"
>what comes out of my stupid mouth: "if it makes her feel better"
>everyone gives a look
>tfw too spergy to realize what i did
>tfw probably destroyed someone's self-esteem
>this was 2006 and it still hurts to remember
M, if you're out there, I didn't mean it :(

>qt Indian girl has to do problem on the board
>get to stare at her ass the entire time
Lord, thank you for this meal.

Probably my crush on you is over. Thanks for the warm words and feelings. I felt a little happier knowing you were there. But now I'm going to move on

>gf is depressed as fuck
>been trying to get her medical help
>slow progress but we are finally getting somewhere
Fuck, it's hard since I'm pretty much her only friend. She has old parents, boomers(actual) no less so they are very unsupportive when it comes to her health. I'm her only point of support and stability. At times I think she might be autistic, but it's likely just lack of social skill and what not. So she's kinda bad with expressing emotions. In all this I get hit with the blunt end of her love. It's exhausting. I'm tired, and need to find my smile again. I been getting more stressed at her, which is bad since my patience has been running short with all the same problem. I want to help, but I know she has to do work on her end. I cant do everything for her.

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Get so frustrated because I can never keep a job because people end up disliking me (for example I’ve had a manager grab his penis at me so I had to quit, one constantly told me that I looked like shit, etc) so I have to get new jobs and every time it’s so hard for me to learn the new stuff. I can’t just instantly memorize every single item and prices in a week. My brain just won’t work like that. It sucks. I feel so tired I can barely make it to my shifts and when I’m there they sit me down to memorize things and I feel like imma fall asleep instantly as soon as I sit down. I must have some adhd shit going on. Why is it so hard for me to do a basic fucking job when everybody else can stay at the same place for years and makes friends there

It's not my responsibility to give you notes for our mid terms. Do your own studying, you bottom feeding leech. Just because you're good looking, doesn't mean every man is going to give you free shit. You just failed out of uni and wasted ~25k. Good job you dumb bitch.

I'm so scared of the future. I feel like I'm looking down a barrel of a gun.
I'm 30 soon and I still haven't build a career. I have very little job experience since I spend most of my 20's failing schools and now I don't know what to do. I feel like I lost my chance at having a life. I am all alone too, I don't know how to fix this. I'm so disillusioned with life.
I can't breath.

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I've been told I'm intimidating when I'm seen dancing at events (as in, no one wants to dance in a circle after I've gone), and I honestly feel like others are avoiding me. If I'm so great, why am I always being left out?

I really shouldn't say anything. From now on I'll try to keep my mouth shut.

Just work on forgiveness and to let go the of bitterness user.
It's only human to feel those things and it's okay to.
It seems you understand that the bitterness and hurt cloud your judgment and so you're keeping your distance.
But use this time to get rid of those emotions and return to the one you miss.

Someone need to rescue me. I can't save myself.

sup buddy?

thats not how life works. nobody cna save you except yourself.

Nobody will save you. Pick yourself up and fight

I have no fight in me anymore. Every time I try to pick myself up I get put on the ground twice as hard. I'm stuck in a cage of failure and self-loathing. I run out of luck now.

What's putting you down ? As long as you breathe you can fight. My mother used to be a forest engineer. Everyday she would find dead bodies and severed heads in the woods (civil war times), but she kept going and ended up replanting an entire forest with her team. Whole team got killed except her, yet she still kept moving forward. Leave excuses behind and survive

You're here typing now, you do have fight user.
I was in a situation where I thought I had no fight left either, but no matter what, there is still a chance.
Believe and love yourself.
Sit down and think about a new path you can take to get you out of this situation.
Ask family and friends to help you reach that path, even if you have to lower your pride.
Start small, because you're at rock bottom and let me tell you, when you fall, it's not going to hurt as much.
All you need to do is keep trying.

Your grandmother saw an opportunity and seized it. I don't see any other opportunity to pursue. I literally have nothing in my life. I'm empty and all out of spirit.

I was a great student but then went to university and I've become such a lazy piece of shit and I feel so uninspired (ironically doing a creative course) and like everything is meaningless. The only times I feel good is when I drink but I have health issues so I shouldn't be doing that... It doesn't help I went to study abroad and it's so cold here and everyone around me are addicts, it's just so depressing here. I only have one semester to finish and it's such a struggle, feel like I learnt nothing and only became a worse person.

I don't know, I feel like I'm well on the path of becoming a loser but I'm not doing anything to change it.

Gf freaking out about me cheating because I'm going out to dinner with a female classmate. It's for class damn it. We need to experience the culture of the language we are learning. She's just a convenient friend for this class. Man, it was her idea in the first place that I take a class.

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Alright, then you need to focus on solutions. How old are you ? Do you study ? Do you have family, friends, people you know ? What do you want from life, do you want a family, a wife, kids, friends, money, a house, success ?

All problems have solutions, you just to take your time to think and have an active mindset

I will never achieve anything that truly matters to me
I wish I could just vanish from the surface of earth but I'm not unhappy nor courageous enough to end it all.

That's the thing. I'm turning 30 in a few days, and I recently dropped out of college. I never had proper education, and the skill I learned are mostly based on media, graphic and web design. I grew out of that business, landing a job was damn near impossible. Now I don't know what to do.

Good, now we're getting somewhere. I understand that your situation isn't perfect, particularily because of your age (happy birthday in advance btw), but there's one direction you can go and it's forwards. Do you think you could go back to school ? There's good degrees out there, and you can even get into trades. Also, keep looking for a job in your field. Try making contacts in the field and apply everywhere.

Now I don't have a complete solution for you, but when I find myself unsure about something, I ask for help from family and friends. Do you have those ? Don't be afraid to ask for help

They can't help me. I don't find their advice helpful.

This is good. this shows you have empathy

I somehow managed to complete my 18 year old Weeaboo dream of marrying a Japanese girl that should be out of my league and reminds me of Belldandy

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I've been isolated my whole life and I'm sick of it but I still feel out of place whenever I'm around people. I constantly wonder if I'm autistic or just socially awkward. I'm 20 years old and feel like shit for never even having a casual relationship, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to. I had a crush on this girl a while back and we became friendly, but she ended up blowing me off and I don't know why. Maybe I was too clingy and put her off. Maybe I'm an unlikable faggot and she just wanted to humor me for a little bit. Maybe I'm not attractive and I'm too ignorant of what's considered attractive these days to know better. A month and a half later and I still feel like shit over it since part of me thinks that's the closest I'll ever get. I got my hopes up like a dumbass, since she seemed to at least like me as a friend and wanted to do things with me, but none of that ever happened. I wish I could stop overthinking everything.

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I do my best, but I don't think it is enough.
I always feel that I have failed and collapsed.
By my side, I graduated from college. When I was still in college, I was hired by a company and I was in trouble.
I am not as smart as she is.
I am not as attractive as her.
I am only mediocre at best.
I feel very sad and unmotivated these days.
I am still trying to continue learning, but I feel that I am on the verge of failure and I lost my scholarship.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK
I just want to scream everything from my chest!

When I look in the mirror.i just think "hey dickhead why do you always put me in these situations"

Same here dude basically same story.

Do drugs till it ends to pass the time.

Whenever I try to find information of any kind, pertaining to any subject, that's written by ordinary members of the public, they almost invariably have horrible spelling and punctuation. I know nobody is perfect and I'm fully aware that I make my share of mistakes, too. But it still annoys me when people either aren't making any effort at all, or are just simply too stupid to even come close to being correct. It always makes them look like idiots to me and I end up losing any interest in what they're saying; no matter how pertinent the information is to me.

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I guess I just really hate you.

Why?

I feel like a terrible person. I cry incredibly easily; happy, mad, sad, doesn't matter. If I am feeling strong emotions then I am probably crying at least a little bit. I have tried and failed for years to correct it. My boyfriend is incredibly weak to crying. Whenever we argue he caves and we never seem to get to the root of the issue. I try to tell him to talk to me, but he hates seeing me cry. I feel incredibly manipulative and I dont know how to fix it. I want to have real conversations about what bothers him, but it's very hard because it makes me cry which makes him want to avoid talking at all costs.

Because this person hurts my feelings all the time. I hate them temporarily until I recover from it. Usually takes a few minutes.

I’m the same. I hate it when someone thinks crying is manipulative. If you bleed it isn’t...

I can't wait to see you again, but at the same time I would prefer the interaction be put off forever. I may vomit all my emotions on you, but I won't, even though I really should since I would get finality. Chances are nothing will come out of this, and I will be able to get back to my life somehow

I really wish you would tell me. I can't stop wondering...and I can't stop thinking about what could be if we both talked to each other.

It's spring break for me and I stayed home so I have just been alone with my thoughts over the past few days putting off shit I need to work on and it has been driving me nuts.

I didn't know what I wanted to do after graduating high school so for the past few years I've been coasting by getting a meme degree unsure of what my ultimate goal is. Now I am starting to think more seriously about what is it I want to do and I feel like I have wasted so much time. I know it is not too late for me to do something with myself but I am at an impasse. I can't decide what I can do that will make me feel satisfied with my life.

I've thought about trying to become a psychiatrist or a lawyer lately but I feel like I am too dumb to either of those things. I don't know if I could pass the MCAT or LSAT and I don't look good enough on paper - I don't really have any extracurriculars and my GPA is hovering around 3.0 currently. And all that shit takes so much time and I don't know if I have it in me or really care about it enough. I feel a lot of pressure from being brought up middle class to do something really important and achieve even more than my parents did. But I also spent enough time not really caring about anything that now it feels impossible. I have a hard time feeling satisfied with anything that I do that doesn't feel important enough. And I continue to beat myself up for not being perfect even though it's not healthy. I just feel like I'm wasting my potential but I can never decide what to do.

I have such a terrible sense of time. I’m always missing appointments and late to things. Missed putting out the trash for the second week in a row. I barely know what day of the week it is. I’ve missed so many opportunities because of this. I tried to keep a calendar but I never remember to use it. Wtf

Well, my birthday was a wash-out. I literally ended up giving people presents so they would calm the fuck down and go away.

My yandere ex is trying to get back into my good graces. The one who ruined my name and got my mom to disown me. They got my new phone number and address and are stalking me.

My best friend is AWOL. I haven't seen or heard from her since last summer. Her boyfriend talks more to me than she does. So much for "best friend", huh.

I logged into Rock band today to see some asshole kicked me out of the crew right before we hit Bloodstone despite all my 5 gold star expert scores.

The world hates me today.

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E

I tougth about you today.
It's rare now that we don't talk a lot anymore.

I wish things could be different.
I still care about you.
You misunderstood, i was ready for everithing, even just a pure physical relation.

But you had to feel power, didn't you?
You had to see that you could have me like a dog, ready for whenever you felt like it, in whatever way.
Well, you are the most beautifull woman i have ever met, but i won't bow to you. So fuck that.
Im sorry, but i have to life my life.

I wish you happiness, cause i will not search for you.

I just experienced today just how fucking pathetic I am. My brother and were out on the supermarket today, it felt like my social anxiety would be getting better but then this woman come in and goes on a tirade at him at how guys aren't needed when women are out shopping. Me being a sad recluse and a husk of a human being get a fucking panic attack during when I was suppose to back him up and black out on his ass. Apparently it got a really thing after and there were several bystanders that were railing him on. I woke up in their staff room with my bro with a black eye.

WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE THIS? Not only am I short and pale as fuck but I've got an assortment of mental illnesses. I'm not even sure if this is the best to go to because I know for a fact I'll look like a drama attention whore.

Short, pale, and half insane. Sounds like my type. I'm in the same boat.

Blackouts are a PSTD symptom. You probably should see someone for help. Also move away from where you are as apparently insane SJWs run the place. Men can shop with anyone who wants to go shopping with them. WTF.

Yeah my psychiatrist told me it's probably the best to get out of L.A and go somewhere more North and into the smaller towns. The only problem is that I don't wanna be so much more a burden to my brother and his wife. I have a strained relationship with my parents so I know for a fact they'll never take me on, especially with my mental conditions (they're the type that don't believe they exist).

Who are you?

your dick

>L.A
Jesus get the fuck outta there. That psychiatrist knows his shit and probably knows that there'll be more of these SJW bullshit. Besides, it'll be a much better environment to get away from that heat haze smog everywhere..

If you are moving to help yourself you aren't a burden.

You're living in a high stress area where people are attacking you for little to no reason. Moving so you can heal is a good idea. Staying where you are will only make it worse which can become a burden.

If your parents ask why, say you want to try a new area. Maybe find something about a smaller town you like and use it as an excuse. For example, "less traffic" or "better rent". You don't have to give "real" reasons.

Cali is one of the worst state in the USA right now. Avoid Florida and Oregon as well.

I'll ask more counseling from my psychiatrist too about moving. I just feel like if they do go with me and move, I'll be depriving their kid off her friends (though they have said beforehand that their parents are douchebags).

Huh?

Had a really terrible dream about my ex where I woke up crying. I still miss him, wishing he felt good enough to try again with me. He says he’s “mentally fucked,” and I believe him... but I want more than anything to be there for him again. It’s been 4 months, haven’t been with anyone other than him during this time... and don’t have an interest in doing so. We were together for almost 3 years, and I still love him just as much.

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I love everything about you. everything. everything. everything. im stupid

Friends come and go. It's a life lesson everyone needs to learn. You can still be the cool uncle over a distance, too. Email, phone, whatever.

I wish I knew what’s up with you. I wish I didn’t love you. Everything is so hard. I need to get you out of my head.

are you me? do you think about this person too much to the point that it interferes with getting stuff done

I’m tired of you pushing me around. You make me want to hide and be left alone for ten years. I don’t want anyone to see me. I have no self esteem left because of you. Please just let me go so I can be left alone. I don’t want to love ever again. I can’t trust anymore.

Try talking to them next chance you get?

I guess it doesn’t interfere much but I think about him all day every day. It’s annoying. When I’m with other people I keep wishing it was him. I don’t want to be this way. It’s been years but instead of feelings weakening they’ve grown stronger. It makes me ashamed.

>It’s been years
say something and get closure. At this point it will almost certainly be a no but it will do something

Yeah but people don't have crocodile blood to swing shit in their favour, either.

The US will not last another 30 years.

It will not survive multi-racialism.

Despite many's thinking, a republic is actually a very careful thing. It's against mans natural instinct for tribal autocracy.

People in the US, largely now and even more so in the future, share nothing: not a set of values,race, shared history -- nothing but geography.

That doesnt work.

not even getting acknowledgement emails for job applications now
couple of months and gonna lose the house
heads up mum and dad im coming back for years of "you failure, why didnt you get a job, whats wrong with you" and so on and so on

I just wanted to spend time alone with you.
I don't know if you didn't trust me, or disliked the way I flirt like a fucking downy, or just didn't feel anything for me to start with. I don't know what I did wrong, but holy SHIT am I sorry about it.
Now you're sleeping with a lardass mooch, too. I hate this.

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>lardass mooch
let em. they if indeed the other person is a "mooch" then this person you care about will see the mistake

That is sweet

I told him how I feel about him.