Where do you guys cum when masturbating? When I jerk off in the shower I cum hard and it's satisfying...

Where do you guys cum when masturbating? When I jerk off in the shower I cum hard and it's satisfying. Probably because I'm stroking the whole time even while cumming without worrying about where it goes. But when watching porn in my room I don't want to make a mess so I have to be careful while cumming which is kind of lame. I want to bust care-free nuts while watching porn without making a mess. Any suggestions?

Attached: 1529527071052.jpg (437x501, 47K)

Cut your balls off

Try aimimg at your face

Directly into a tissue, no mess

Like a sneeze

This is where still having a foreskin comes in handy. I just pinch it off with one hand and stroke with the other. Then I wash it away in the sink. No mess. Nice and simple.

Dirty clothing, normally a sock. Within a day or two I'll wash it anyway. While it sits in my laundry basket, the semen can fester.

>When I jerk off in the shower I cum hard and it's satisfying
Doesn't semen clog your drains?

on your moms face

Don't forget to regularly clean the drains, hairs+cum=cloggy cloggy

Attached: Lewd_Rock.jpg (460x613, 82K)

It does if you don't clean it but most shower fappers got good at drain cleaning sometime in their mid teens

I was about 16 before I realized how much headache I saved by just cleaning the drain myself

I have a foreskin and I have no idea what you're talking about.

Do you not pull your foreskin back and jerk off with it? You're just rubbing the outside of your dick? what?

Also how small are you loads that you can somehow contain them in your foreskin?

I stopped watching porn for the most part. Jerking it in the shower is the best.

>no mess
You still have to wash your dick.

Yeah so does hair and snot and dead skin and ear wax and everything else. It's good to regularly pre-emptively clean the drain even if it's not clogged up yet.

No I don't pull it back because I get 80% of my pleasure from climax and edging. Yes I essentially am using my skin as a cock sleeve. My loads are probably about half a cup first time after a few days break. It's just really roomy in there I guess. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could shoot massive 2 cup loads, but this is what I got.

Jerk off in the bathroom, cum in the toilet, then wash your hands with cold water.

maybe you would bust bigger loads if you jerked off normally instead of tying your foreskin like a balloon and then tickling yourself

I cum on myself before taking a shower then get in the shower and clean myself off.

>with cold water.
why cold water specifically

If you use hot or warm water you'll cook your cum and make it stick to your hands.

I like to use soap as well as water when washing my hands.

I don't do that anymore. I have a gf. When I cum it's inside her. Well inside a condom, in her because she won't let me. Even though she let her ex. She tells me she loves me more. And I believe her or at least I tell myself I do ;_; Get a relationship, and you'll be as happy as me. Jerking off is for incel losers I've been told

I used to do it like he does, and I started having bigger loads when I stopped. Can confirm.

Every normal healthy human, relationship or not, most likely jerks off

I usually lay while browsing /gif/ with one hand while stroking and with a napkin on my chest. When I get close I simply angle the napkin to catch my load. I then leave the napkin on the floor to dry, they're good for a few uses. I typically have 1-3 napkins in rotation. Shower is cool but cum get super sticky if it's immediately introduced to water and you have to usher it down the drain with your toe or something. Laying down is a more natural and comfy way to do it.

Attached: Untitled.png (1577x706, 20K)

> You still have to wash your dick
Learn to dry-stroke. You can then just use the corner of the napkin that hasn't gotten wet.

Its because sperg like you who jack off during shower raise the water bill. And hard working normies who shares the same rent have to pay more! Get a gf ffs!

I use a towel as a "onehole" and cum buckets, but i have been circumcised as an adult, and im pretty sure it will hurt you if you are indeed uncut.

>I then leave the napkin on the floor to dry
Are you so fucking poor that you can't use a new tissue? That shit is disgusting. Tissues cost almost nothing, and hell toilet paper is even cheaper in many places. Perhaps instead of reusing a cum dried tissue that you'll put on your body just work an extra hour at work, or if anything get a better job

>gf
>sex
Gas yourself, degenerate

I buy 100% recycled paper towels you heathen, for I am environmentally friendly. This is why I recycle my cumnapkins even further. Though, considering how frequently I masturbate this is a sound economic choice. It's no more disgusting that throwing cummies in the garbage where they'll fester in the dark. When I splay them on the floor they dry reasonably quickly and are pretty much good as new except the brownish-yellow cum stain.

Attached: Le wrinkle face.png (391x322, 218K)

>Learn to dry-stroke.
Why the piss would I want to learn some meme technique that sounds like it makes masturbation less fun

I used to use spit, soap, lube, etc... Then I tried dry stroking. Now I can masturbate anywhere and without the extra cleanup.
> Why would I want to learn
Because a soggy dick that smells like your breath is a terrible addition to any household. If I'm going the extra mile to do all that cleanup I'm bringing out the flesh light. If not, I'm going to rub one out utilitarian style.

Yes but imagine people X enters your room!
Like a murder or reading light novels - never leave evidence that you commited it that could be seen by a passerby.

Attached: 38202160_314095932658755_5115085082058555392_n.jpg (480x480, 43K)

On the floor, I clean with tp afterwards.

Dry stroking will make actual sex less enjoyable if it's your go to method

Just cum on your stomach and wipe it up with toilet paper. How is this even a question?

I live alone in a 1br apartment, I've had girls come over - they never notice the napkin fields between my couches.

Wrong, don't speak on things you're uneducated in the matters of.

>You still have to wash your dick

Obviously, I only masturbate before showers

Do you feel cucked

A+ imagery, user.
I chuckled.

Op get some latex gloves
good with lube

Attached: latexglove.jpg (600x600, 46K)

Yes absolutely. It's humiliating. I feel like she doesn't love me the way she loves him

I fuck my pillows. I stack up both my pillows, then stick my dick between the bottom pillow and my bed and fuck it like I would a person, almost. They’ve been the best nuts of my life. Basically simulates cumming inside a girl.

I like watching those videos.

gay

I watch that type too

The do something about it you faggot. You disgust me

Attached: 1416b1c63deec2a6e32ec067ab65e80ffa8edfa3d4992780ee4a79c4c992b16f.jpg (590x636, 74K)

There are videos of guys just fucking their own bed pillows?

That cat looks like he’s having a bruh moment

I like getting tissues or kitchen towel papers and folding them. I put them in between my dick and my waist while I lay down in bed. I jerk it pretending she's riding me or blowing me or 69 or whatever and when I cum I just thrust my waist up and cum aiming at the towel. Careful with getting some on your stomach haha. I also like using dish fluid or shampoo. Then when I'm done I get up and flush.

Attached: 1552570900593.gif (300x225, 2.74M)

What exactly would you have me do?

I feel like I may be the only person in the world who does this, it's odd... I've never heard of anyone else doing this
>Jerk off
>Right before cum, pinch exit with thumb and forefinger (not a deathgrip of course)
>Prevent semen from flooding out
>Go to toilet and release

Why don't other people do this? Lack of reflexes? Lazy? Superstitions about pressure inside your dick?

Bruh

what the actual fuck is wrong with you

Attached: 1552330396701.jpg (768x1024, 170K)

I had to get a circumcision a few years ago and honest-to-God this trick used to be so useful! Now it's a messier operation.

Depends how I'm masturbating.
>With my gf? Her mouth, tits, ass
>Alone and normal masturbation? Everywhere. Shit just gets everywhere regardless of how I try to control it.
>If I'm giving myself a blowjob? In my mouth. No mess, tastes nice, erotic af.

>Because a soggy dick that smells like your breath is a terrible addition to any household.

I wash my dick after jerking off you absolute retard

why the hell would I learn some meme restrictive way of jerking off when I can just wash my dick for 10 seconds

Again, I have a foreskin and I have absolutely no idea what you guys are talking about

do yall have phimosis, is that why your foresking is over your glans when you're hard and beating off?

Usually use a paper towel sorta as a condom, helps being uncut, dont think it works otherwise

Nigga you must have had MAD smegma.

Ebin bait

I loosely wrap the head of my dick with a tissue or paper towel, like a dick turban, and then let loose.

Also, I've been dry stroking my entire life with no problems. If anything, I come too quickly with lube now, like the Germans in a blitzkrieg. I'm done in less than five minutes.

I don't wanna get cum in my tummy fuzz