Thoughts on polygamy and having a harem?

Wife and I are very sexual people. In our 30s, we make over 170k a year in a city with low cost of living, no kids.

We havent had a threesome yet, but wife has stated interest and would very much to open to it (she loves women's bodies...i.e. saves pictures of hot girls off Jow Forums...she also masturbates to cam girls on chaturbate).

We have a 2,500sq ft house, 4 bedroom, with office, library, etc. We only use the master bedroom on the opposite side of the house, livingroom and kitchen.

Wife is always offering her (female) friends who live in apartments a place to stay if they want.

Wife has been unable to tend to my sexual/intimate needs for past 2 years or so (she has fulltime job, working on PhD, and has 1.5hr commute each way...3hrs total). She's physically exhausted and simply doesnt have the energy.

She has given me clearance to get a mistress for sex (but wife has to be #1).

Given what things are..
Does anyone have any experience with a live-in mistress?
What about getting a harem of live-in girls?

For reference, my wife would find it super errotic and if live-ins did house work/chores, they could stay as long as they want.

I've always been super oblivious to girls hitting on me (ive had trouble recognizing opportunity)..
With girls who ive spoke to in the past, this innocence/honesty is what makes me endearing (a "sweetheart")

Perhaps im in a golden opportunity here without realizing it...

Should I pursue this?

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Usually my first thought is that if it ends up on Jow Forums it's just larping.
Second thought is, "Humans fuck up literally everything on Earth by being added to the equation and your genius plan is to add more?"
Last thought, parting thought: there is always a third wheel and you're always hoping they're just satisfied with third wheeling, and desperately hoping they're not trying to be second or first wheel

I've had a bunch of threesomes, and the ones I had while in a relationship with one of the girl ended up being a big old pile of drama afterwards. It was my gfs' idea to have a threesome and yet somehow I ended up being the bad guy cause I fucked the other girl too good or whatever. So i can't even fucking imagine what sort of drama would happen from having a threesome as a married 30 year old.

As far as the harem thing goes, most men can't even handle having one wife I don't know how you expect to manage and deal with having several. Mormons technically have several wives and a lot of times the wives all just gang up on the husband when he's not carrying his weight as a father/husband/provider.

Life isn't anime

Yeah this
You can try dating on your own, but unless you sell yourself as a paypig to dommes' the actual polyamory climate will want nothing to do with your triad proposal. It's highly frowned upon to unicorn hunt as oppose to dating separately.

Not LARPing

Also...I forsee the relationship a bit more like....
-Other girl lives with us rent free.
-She helps around house as needed
-She hangs out with wife and I
-"If" things get sexual, shes pretty much a live-in fuck buddy to both of us
-Girl keeps her independence and does her own thing (school, job, etc).
-Girl is free to have her own relationships outside of the house
-Free to leave at anytime
-Shes also a travel companion for wife and I
-In general, help girl out with stuff to try and better her life

Bascially like taking in a stray cat (my wife and I have 4 cats....all strays).

One woman is already a pain in the balls, why would you need more?

That sounds like way too much comittment to just lay on the table as ground rules for even a willing unicorn.
You will likely scare most of them off.
Take the time, do the dating phase. Then your wife can attempt to persue her. Then if she does like you both, then you can ask her about your sitpulations for making it serious.

4 cats and you want more pussy? Jesus Christ! Put out an ad of post on a request board find website for this. Try to either get a uni student or a runnaway. At this point one of your wife's friends is a good option but I feel a fuck buddy is best for you and your wife someone in their 20 adjusting to life maybe a French girl all French girls are bi sexual.

And by mistress, i dont mean BDSM type.

Mistress more in the sense of "unofficial other woman".
Ideally, girl would actually be submissive as I am very dominant in bed....but outside of that, im a very caring/gentle person (I do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc...since wife doesnt get home till late/is exhausted and i just want her to come home and relax).

Also boo, what if they are allergic to cats?
unless they're all shorthaired?

Also expecting submission in a competition of thousands of other hot headed and well practiced doms?
This is really too tall of an order here, bub.

>That sounds like way too much comittment to just lay on the table as ground rules for even a willing unicorn.

How?
Im bascially saying there is no expectations on anything other than occassionally providing company and helping to keep house clean?

That sounds like a fun fantasy

Allergic to cats = not a problem if they are ok with it.
But getting rid of cats is not an option.

Also, my wife is allergic to cats, but im the one who has to keep her from getting more of them when we see a stray kitten.

First of all, from just the unicorn hunting aspect, expecting one person to just magically be physically attracted to both of you and agree to be only considered for a side piece role, is highly insulting, even to a submissive woman.
Most unicorns do not like hierarchy unless they have some degredation fetish.

I'm more so saying that it might be a consideration against living with you that they could consider, if that were true.

vocaroo.com/i/s1g7C1MOG0as

What about girls who are seeking stability/safety in life and wouldnt mind so much?

Its bascially a sugarbaby relationship...but with a "sugar couple" instead of a sugar daddy

if u'r actually not larping i've read through some of your replies

ignore the tripfag

where do you meet woman?, let's start with that, because you have to be charming for one, when you invite her over to you and your girlfriend that's where it gets spicy.

you will just get gradually closer, and while your gf is there you will undress/ touch / whatever to her if your are both attracted to each other, and because your wife is watching she will immediately know that you are not cheating and it will be incredibly hot for all of you.

then make her want to stay together with your wife. capice?

Listened to it.
I agree for the most part.

A bit of background...

Her:
Her parents divorced when she was young.
Used to fly to biological fathers house almost evey weekend.
Stepmom and stepchildren were crazy/fucked up people.
Bio-father abandoned her later on (middle/highschool) inplace of his new family.
She got her first boyfriend after highscool. He was abusive asshole. Suicidal with bipolar. Her last words to him as they broke up were along the lines of "if you try to kill yourself again, get it right this time". He did
Immediately after she married a guy 10years older than her (she was 21, he was early 30s).
Divorced after less than a year
Fucked around a bit
Had a boyfriend who she fucked on the reg, he cheated on her (she literally went over to his place and there was a girl there).
Eventually met me
Engaged after 6 months (i asked), married after 4 years. Been married for 3 years now.

Me:
Didn't have any relationships during middle/highschool because like my wife, viewed them as a waste of time.
First gf in college.
Stable and healthy relationship for 2 years
Gf and I move in together and live together for 3 years
We broke up. I couldnt handle her total lack of ambition in life and growing distance causes by her additiction to WoW (world of warcraft).
Met wife
Immediatly hit it off. We are basically the same person but in genderswapped bodies.
I love and respect my wife and accept her for who she is (to include her faults).
She loves, respects, and accepts me just the same.

She may have BPD and be on the autism spectrum. Seems to have trouble maintaining relationships and doesnt seem to "get" the emotional aspects of relationships (asks my help frequently). However, i see and awknowledge what she does.

For comparison, i have always been hyperactive emotionally and sexually.
Wife and I know we will never really connect on emotional level (her emotional response to things seems "stunted"....like a partially constructed road that just ends).

What's it like to have a wife with no kids?

Man, now that you put it like that it just sounds like a sad story, especially for her.

>Wife and I know we will never really connect on emotional level (her emotional response to things seems "stunted"....like a partially constructed road that just ends).
Like.... if I thought that was the case I'd just leave. That emotional connection affects everything, from sex to chit chat. I realize it's a shitty situation and I'm not telling you to leave, just figure out if you're willing to deal with this for the rest of your life. I think if you were to try to get a "mistress" she'd end up being your real girlfriend/wife and you'd just push your current one away or just be normal friends with her.

Pretty nice. We have cats as pets because we can just put out extra food and a litterbox or 2 and we can leave for a week and they will take care of themselves.

Can be emotionally unfulfilling at times.
I want kids someday. Wife is still on the fence. Not entirely sure if she is able to (doctors said she would have trouble conceiving).
Much too busy to even consider it at this point.

Life is bascially work, house chores, gym, wife, videogames...and lots of THC. Since we dont have kids and are already established....we get high together alot (daily?)

Wife and I are closely bonded, but still pretty independent of each other (i'll be playing vidyagames in livingroom, she'll be on ipad in bedroom).

Pretry routine and boring at times.

Wife thinks im too emotionally needy (in comparison to her).

I only really feel fullfilled if i am able to express my affection and it be reciprocated on a regular basis.
If wife is too tired/stressed and "negelcts" me for too long, i get depressed (i.e feel unwanted/undesired).

And "too long" is like 3-4 weeks of no intimacy/affection.

As in...after a while, i need to explicitly ask her to snuggle, because shes content sleeping with body pillow between us.

She doesnt do it intentionally or with malicious intent...she's generally not very emotionally sensitive/oblivious and doesnt pick up on non-verbals very well.

I've found it best to express love through hand-wtitten notes, so she can read it...and it's unambiguous/clear cut (once again...possibly on autism spectrum).

She is dead honest and open with me and says whats on her mind....something i very much appreciate...i may be on the spectrum myself.

However, i went to private school for first half of my life (imbued me with strong sense of compassion and trained me to be affectionate) and spent a considerable amount of time learning how to read non-verbals (since middle/high school ive been fascinated in observing people and people watching in general).

My need for affection probably comes from being a middle child with an older brother who is special needs.
Was pretty much neglected growing up. I did well in academics and sports....but for myself (not for praise of others).
I actually dont know how to receive compliments very well...because im not used to being praised.
I used to act out in school (get attention). Now..in relationship, its pretty much the same.
Ok with being neglected because im used to it, but still trying to get attention of wife through displays of affection/love (to someone who may not be able to appreciate/acknowledge).

Your need for affection comes from being a human being lol

Finding a mistress on the side isn’t unicorn hunting retard. Unicorn hunting is finding a third for an already established relationship, if you actually had reading comprehension you’d know he was finding his own relationship on the side because the wife doesn’t have time

Maybe ive just been living an emotionally fucked up life for so long that I dont exactly know what normal is anymore

I mean...i come to Jow Forums to spill my guts out and bounce (equally fucked up) ideas off, because i dont really have anyone else thats considered normal to talk to IRL.

I tend to naturally attract/be attracted to people who come from similar background. Literally all my ex-gfs come from abusive/neglectful homes. On a certain level I understand them, maybe thats why I get along/connect so well.
Maybe its also my nature/personality of being a "giver" who overly gives affection/attention, that these types of girls find appealing (because i know what it feels like to be neglected...so i do everything possible to make my girls feel special and wanted).

Moments like this...i wonder if I can even have a relationship with someone who is considered normal (i.e. not having a mental disorder or coming from abuse/neglect).

This

And i've already got clearance/consent from wife to do so. She understand that I have needs, and she cant/is unable to fulfill them.


For time being, im content with occassionally visiting strip clubs and paying for attention (dont even care about sex desu).
However, at a certain point (~$2.5k a month) a mistress/sugerbaby seems to make more sense.

A step past that...having a live-in mistress/sugarbaby who wife and I enjoy the company of that helps around the house would be perfect.


Wife is ok with threesomes and mistress...but wouldn't be ok with me sleeping around/whoring myself out to many women (STD risk).
A mistress/girl that we can both play with would be ideal...but wife would not be opposed to me having a girl that I occasionally bang on the side.

Damn ur wife sounds awesome, im jelly

I was thinking about fitness classes (aerobics, yoga, pole dancing, etc)...im usually the only male when i go with my wife and girls are already checking me out.
Maybe strip clubs, since wife and I really enjoy their aesthetic.

I would never cheat on wife. Everything I do is consensual and open. Hypothetically...Even taking a girl back home....wife would have to meet her first and approve before proceeding. She actually asked that i take sselfies with strippers i get private dances from (so she can rate them herself and assess my taste in women...she'll gets offended if i get a dance from a girl considered less than an 8/10).

For first time with girl, we would go to a nice hotel (~$500 a night)....something thats similar to our house in terms of quality standards...but without taking her "home".