B-b-but a girlfriend won't fix your depression sweaty!

Just cover your eyes, it's not real if you don't believe in it!
Kek'd

It really can't dude... It'll give you a temporary new relationship high and you'll be walking on sunshine until the relationship settles out. Then all your baggage will come flooding back and drop on her. Not only will you be depressed, but you'll also be a selfish, controlling, insecure, overbearing partner.

But you're the expert having never had a relationship and all. Your problems run a lot deeper than 'no one loves me' user.

>be miserable sack of shit
>somehow get a gf
>she's your only source of happiness
>she eventually breaks up
>now you're a heartbroken miserable sack of shit

I dread to think what he will do when she leaves him or fucks someone else.

Problem is I need to be happy and stable in the first place to get one. Most advice here tells you that you have to be so perfect that a gf wouldn't be able to provide you anything you don't already have (except sex).

Underage

I'm past your teenage proverb effectiveness age, and hence can tell you the reality.
If you depend on your significant other for mental health issues and they don't know what to do if you ever crash, they will leave you because you abused them by using their affections like a drug and not as an equal in a relationship.

Stage 1 - denial
>be you unsecure miserable shit
>somehow get a gf
>she eventually breaks up
>now you know that you AREN'T too ugly, too autistic too whatever for a gf
>now you know that you are able to experience love
>now you're sad, but not as much as before when you weren't sure you're even capable of having a girlfriend.

>now you know that you AREN'T too ugly, too autistic too whatever for a gf
>now you know that you are able to experience love
Lol no, kido. People don't get a confidence boost out of being dumped, most loners are clingers and they self sabotage if they can't get that one.

Nah, you just don't understand how it is to be depressed like that.

Cut the snowflake shit out. This isn't r*ddit.

>Hasn't had a girlfriend
>Claims to understand how world destroying a breakup is.

Dude.. no.. you're playing a game of grass is greener... Youre guaging your life and misery on something you don't have..

I've 31. I've been forever alone and hopeless and I've had relationships, I know where you are...

You don't know how soul crushing losing s partner is... Go to a fucking psychiatrist, you need to sort your shit.

That's extremely assuming...
>Only IVE had problems
Come the fuck on dude...

great bait thread, I'll be watching this one throughout the day

It's not snowflake shit, the user just clearly doesn't understand.
Anyhow that user is tripfagging and with a name "A girl that will break the rules" there's not much more that needs to be said there.
Notice how I use that instead of me and said already that many people here are like this, you aren't helping by making the big bad villain here.
Dealing with all the depressing feelings yourself < dealing with same stuff but with someone
If you aren't literally mentally fucked up a breakup will pass and you'll feel better.

As human beings our relationships tend to reflect the state of our inner psyche. For example, people with extremely low self-esteem frequently have friends and acquaintances who treat them poorly. Why? Because externalizing our inner struggles is the most effective way our mind has of grappling with our inner dysfunction. Partnerships are no different. Here is the stark reality; relationships are not a treatment for clinical depression. Depression, in its truest form, is not a state of mind. It is a disease. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain that, if left untreated, can and will kill you. The other reality is that using your partner as a treatment for your mental illness will end in disaster. Its called codependency and, eventually, your partner will grow tired of being both your significant other and your psychiatrist. There is nothing healthy or productive about holding your partner hostage with the potential collapse of your mental state. Getting a girlfriend will fix your depression the same way getting drunk will fix your fucked up relationship with your parents; its a good distraction that will make you feel good and maybe even make you forget but at the end of the day its just putting a band-aid on the problem. Other people cannot be your self-worth. Consider the possibility that if all it takes for your mental health to completely collapse is a failed relationship then you're not as "fixed" as you think you are.

>B-b-but a girlfriend won't fix your depression sweaty!

Getting a relationship won't fix your mental problems, fact, period.
Nothing about a relationship will fix your underlying mental problems in of itself, it might help you cope with them, it might help you supress them, it might even trick your brain into not being such a depressed self defeating piece of shit; the problem is that as soon as the relationship is removed from the equation or stops being all sunshine and rainbows you can kiss goodbye to all your "fixing".

Only you can fix your own shit, if you don't do it yourself, regardless of whether or not someone helps you, getting a relationship will just amount to escapism; this will come back to bite you in the ass ten fold.

Relationships made on mutual or one-sided dependancy are not healthy relationships.
If you can't stand on your own two feet what makes you think that you will be able to once your crutch gets taken away from you?

That said THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT A RELATIONSHIP CAN'T HELP YOU OVERCOME X, I'm merely stating that it's not guaranteed to and from my personal experience as well as my experience from browsing the board it more often than not doesn't work: the vice of depression gets replaced with the vice of being dependant on another human being for 24/7 emotional support; take away the drug and you're not just broken but you're now an addict as well.

Tl;dr: It's not guranteed and escapism doesn't fix anything.

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Writing a lot of words won't make it more factual.
If you're depressed because you're lonely and feel like everyone is against you having a girlfriend will fix that.

Y'know if you define your happiness by a partner you become a very controlling and jealous partner, rite?

The problem is no gf.
Get gf.
Problem not fixed???
No logic, brain is angry.

tl;dr: Im so fucking jelly it hurts
Dont reply
*zip snap*

No it won’t, your depression will ruin the relationship eventually. You can avoid your self destructive thoughts all you want, they’ll just manifest in different ways you won’t see coming.

This

Being with someone will allow you to see positives in yourself and that you're not the monster you make yourself to be. Best way to start loving yourself is to have someone else love you. Then you can't say that you're unable to be loved and that there's something seriously wrong with you.

This.

The problem is no gf.
Get gf.
Problem not fixed???
No logic, brain is angry.

But you can't get gf if you are depressed and if you don't love yourself!

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Itt
>Guy with nogf
I will be happy if I have a relationship
>Literally anyone who has ever had a relationship from all walks of life and history and probably also have been depressed about being lonely
No you won't.
>Guy
FUCK YOU GUYS I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE FEELS RELATIONSHIPS BRING

Dude. Bruv. Friend. Stop.

>Writing a lot of words won't make it more factual.
Writing a lot of words for the purpose of composing arguments is, in fact, how things are established as factual, user.

>If you're depressed because you're lonely and feel like everyone is against you having a girlfriend will fix that.
If a flood of seratonin were the cure for mental illness we'd live in a much different world. A girlfriend is not a cure for a chronic mental condition. That is just the reality. Lets just put it like this; if getting a girlfriend is all it took to completely and permanently change your mental state for the better then you were never really depressed to begin with. Also, if all it takes for your depression to be uncured is for your girlfriend to leave you then it sounds as though you weren't really all that cured, were you?

You dont "define" happiness you weirdo. You're either succeeding at life and will be happy or you're not and you will be depressed. Being single is failing at life, no matter what the brain damaged will tell you. You know you're failing, you know you're not supposed to be alone, of course you're sad about it. You're supposed to be. If it didnt make people sad to be alone they wouldnt form relationships to begin with. Get the gf. Get a hug. Get confirmation that you're cool. Then get on with life and have beautiful kids.

Self confidence is delusion anyway, no idea has any merit until peer review.

Uh, no, I probably understand more about mental health because I studied it on my own for two years and I carry a first aid book for mental health.
>oh and have I mentioned that I'm not a snot nosed teenaged faggot that thinks he knows everything there is about depression by being disgnosed with it?

>Best way to start loving yourself is to have someone else love you
There is no way you're not a teenager

/thread

Not having anyone to talk to is what causes mental issues in the first place. That's the reason people go to therapy. For me, having a girlfriend did slightly help my mental health. She was a bitch and I hated her but I at least had someone to talk to for a year, which is more social interaction than I've ever had, and it honestly helped me become more mentally stable in the long run. Like ya, I still have crippling social anxiety and depression, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was before I had a girlfriend. Even though I'm not dating her anymore, the effect stayed.

Relying on someone else to stop being a sad sack of shit for no reason other than “MUH BRAIN CHEMICALS”

Big yikes

>guy sad because no gf
>guy wants gf to not be sad

>NO MAN I KNOW THE BEST YOU WONT BE HAPPY I SWEAR ON ME MUMS GRAVE, I'M USED TO HAVING A GF BECAUSE I'M AVERAGE AND IT DOESN'T HELP ME, nn-n-not because it's like second nature to me or anything

Except you can, and I've seen it happen countless times on this board from both the depressed person not thinking they deserve their partner or their partner concerned about the depressed person.

Also, nothing in my post contradicts what you just said; the problem is that not everyone will see things that way and it's not a relationship that's going to necessarily open their eyes.

You seem to think this is a problem of a brain malfunction and not that incels simply need to be shown their defeatist beliefs are wrong and they'll be fine.

Here's how it works;
>incel: I'm ugly and I have a repulsive attitude about myself and I cant relate to anyone
>girl that incel respects the opinion of: no
>incel: oh shit you're right I'm p cool
>girl: kbye
>incel: I think I'll go rack 4plate today

Tripfag

Again you're assuming the ever living fuck out of my life... You have no idea about the social disorder I have or heat I've been through in my life or the lonliness I've felt, and how much relationships did or did not help...
And trust me, if you are not ok with yourself by yourself, relationships are not happy affairs..

You could have literally achieved the same or better results by just having a friend.

You don't need a gf to fix your shit and having one isn't guaranteed to do so, change my mind.

>You seem to think this is a problem of a brain malfunction
That is literally what depression is

>incels simply need to be shown their defeatist beliefs are wrong and they'll be fine.
That is not depression. That is called growing up.

Nineteen ends with teen so I guess you're right.
But they told me this is impossible, are you sure? I'm certain they know more about you than you do. Think this through again, you're wrong!
Ok, glad we're still all individual beings
Wow you seem to know more about him than he knows himself.

>Nineteen ends with teen so I guess you're right.
Yeah I could tell. You believe things that only someone with no life experience would believe. Its not your fault though. I wasn't much smarter at 19.

That's what I am~
Cat got your tongue on any better insults, babydick?

Only when I don't know the girl and I just imagine how the relationship would be.

>You could have literally achieved the same or better results by just having a friend.
I think either would have worked in my situation, a gf was just more accessible to me at the time. Believe it or not, it's actually easier for me to get a gf than a friend because my appearance is average if not slightly above average but my personality is shit tier.

>having one isn't guaranteed to do so, change my mind.
I guess it depends on what caused the mental issues in the first place, but in my situation and I'm guessing a lot of other user's situations, the main factor contributing to my mental illness was complete social isolation growing up. If you look at biographies of young rage killers like Elliot Rodger, their life is always filled with loneliness and rejection. I think everyone needs to have at least a few people they can talk to regularly, whether that be a friend or a girlfriend.

That wasn't me but I guess you're quick to start calling names and such, can't say I'm surprised given what we can see in your responses and your name.
Oh believe me 20 won't make me do an 180 turn and click something in me, age is a social construct meaning that there isn't a sudden change between 19 and 20

>We're all individuals
Except literally every individual is telling you the exact same thing...
Why are you on adv? You don't even want help.

This is exactly what I've been saying. Depression can and in a lot of cases DOES come from loneliness, what's the cure to loneliness? Well guess

>age is a social construct meaning that there isn't a sudden change between 19 and 20
Refusing to believe that you will at all change with age is another thing that only teenagers believe. I know because I felt the same way when I was a kid. Come back and talk to us when you're 30 and I'll give you literally all the money in my back account if you can reminisce on the things you used to believe when you were 19 without cringing to death.

>Depression can and in a lot of cases DOES come from loneliness
No. Loneliness can definitely exacerbate depression but if all it takes is a cute girl to cure your depression then you were never really depressed. There is a massive difference between being in a negative place in your life and being depressed.

Not every
I've had the same mentality since I was 14, of course people get smarter and change opinions but some stuff is just too deeply rooted into us.
>gatekeeping depression

Oh it's not like I have an easy road by purposely going on this site filled with stupid and shitty men. I get my share of harassment just like the rest.
Oh and I believe the terms you're referring to is "Most brain development research currently leans towards 25 being the real age of maturity as opposed to 18."

>Oh it's not like I have an easy road by purposely going on this site filled with stupid and shitty men.
Yaaaaas, slay queen

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>I've had the same mentality since I was 14, of course people get smarter and change opinions but some stuff is just too deeply rooted into us.
Like I said, come back when you're 30. I don't mean to insult you but you're 19. You know nothing.

>gatekeeping depression
I didn't invent the clinical definition of depression, user. You don't get to just decide that you've been diagnosed with depression just because you're really sad you don't have a girlfriend.

If I made it this far without ever having a girlfriend I've grown accustomed to it and imagining myself in love is alien to me.

My problem isn't just not having a girlfriend, don't know where you got this from.

No I'm referring to the fact that 1 extra number behind my name won't change me, time will but the deep mindset is already set in stone.

>If I made it this far without ever having a girlfriend
You're a teenager. You haven't made it anywhere.

>My problem isn't just not having a girlfriend
That is what this whole thread is about, user. We're all talking about the subject as a whole, not just you personally.

I've made it to college and still nothing, if I didn't make it up until now I doubt I'm capable of it, I think something's wrong with me.
>We're all talking about the subject as a whole, not just you personally.
I was replying to
>You don't get to just decide that you've been diagnosed with depression just because you're really sad you don't have a girlfriend.

>That went right over your head too.
Sure is fun talking to an ugly brick wall.

>I've made it to college and still nothing
Yeah, the thing is dude, I understand that you genuinely can't fathom that you could possibly be a different person in 5-10 years but literally every teenager believes that. I believed that when I was your age. Life when you're a kid seems endless. It won't always feel that way.

Literal roastie attention seeking whore, from comments to the tripfag and name.
Should be ignore from this point on.

I have the most caring and kind boyfriend for over 8 years now, money and a decent family but still think about killing myself almost every day because I'm insane. First post got it. It can help, but it's not guaranteed.

I will be a different person but I'll still most likely be lonely and depressed, it's the things most deep inside that matter the most.

You'd have already killed yourself if it wasn't for him.

No, I think he could survive and move on but my parents couldn't. Suicide is very hard for your partner but it irredeemably breaks parents, there is nowhere to go.

No I mean you if you didn't have that boyfriend and that emotional support you wouldn't just "think about killing yourself" you'd be more depressed and you'd do it.

And that's perfectly fine ad a respectable opinion have, the problem is normalizing the conception that you should get into a commitment with another human being in order to fix your mental issues as opposed to getting into a relationship for the companionship.

Blindly suggesting >get gf as some cure all snake oil will just devolve the board culture into being one step closer to Jow Forums, people like OP should fuck off back to it if the don't like it when other anons hae different opinions than them instead of larping to push their bad advice.

There you go assuming there's only one way to have depression again.

That isn't a guarantee. I know this is unsolicited but I'll tell you a story. I was a really, really sad kid. I spent most of my teenage years drinking and partying because it was literally the only time when I ever felt accepted by anybody around me. I did the whole cutting, crying for help nonsense for a long time and even scared away a lot of women who would have been interested in me if it wasn't for the gigantic, looming misery that sat on top of my shoulders. It was a pretty shit existence. Then, when I was around your age I dropped out of college to tour the country in a van and continued to drunken conquest from state to state, suddenly discovering that drunk women in bars would have sex with me. I did this for a long time until I got into therapy around 22, dropped out of touring and got a real, stable job. I'm 34 not and everything is going, well, okay. I'm definitely not "fixed" by any means but I am happy. I am nowhere near the same depressed, self-injurious little scamp I was when I was a teenager. I think some of it was true depression but the rest of it was just being a really lost kid with no support structure or people to talk to and very poor set of skills to deal with those feelings. The moral of my story is that you can change. The road to change won't be immediately clear to you but it is there. Like I said, life won't seem so endless once you get a little older.

Sounds like co-dependy, drive them apart for 20 hours and see how they become whiny bitches again contemplating suicide kek

Very bad 'solution' there

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It doesn't seem endless even now, it seems as if I'm wasting away my years.

Sitting around waiting for that magical girl to find you only exasperates your depression though.

I'm depressed because I don't have a GF, but I can't get a GF until I stop being depressed.

I should An Hero.