Sole provider in marriage thread:

Women in this situation will always come to resent a man who wants and expects this from them when the man doesn't come directly home from work every night, shower her with little gifts and a lot of affection, and sometimes show her off publicly since he doesn't want her to. Women are more socially needy than makes by default, it would take an absolute god of a human and lover to keep her happy like this.

I'm a housewife and I can tell you this is not how it is, especially if you have young kids. I have 3 under 5, and taking care of them is basically a full time job on its own. I was less tired when I was working full time.

House is clean, husband's cock is sucked, food is non the table every night, but our sex life was more active when we didn't have kids and I worked full time and the house was cleaner.

Being a housewife doesn't mean you sit at home and don't interact with human beings other than your husband.

Most men take issue to this nowadays. I'd have no problem having a lezzie maid sub gf long term wise. Mostly because I'd rather cook by myself, and I could do a fair amount of cleaning too.

Personally that is the ideal situation in my head but theres always gonna be a problem. She needs to do things because if she gets this mentality of "I dont need to work someone will take care of me" she wont only expect things more and more but once the money stops comming in she could find someone else who takes care of her better. But she may not be like that.

Going off what OP implies it is.

Yup. Dead right. Kids in the home ruin the sex. I don’t even get blow jobs like I used to. I help my wife with household stuff but it really sucks the sex and romance out of the marriage.

Didn’t imply her social life would be non existent, just said no social media

I mean, I fuck my husband every day but it used to be "let's block 2 hours out of our day to have some really awesome sex" and now it's "oh god please let me have 20 minutes without any kid waking up and then we can fucking sleep maybe perhaps".
Romance is still there luckily (my husband and I are probably the most disgustingly lovey dovey couple ever) but I'm so tired all the time and sex feels like a chore sometimes. It never used to. I can't wait till they go to school so I have time to do something, and sleep, and suck my husband's cock with the passion I had 5 years ago.

Anyway yes, kids are the biggest joy of your life but a huge cock blocker.

Damn this makes me afraid to have kids.

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Exactly.

My wife is so tired that fucking and sucking are low on the list. I don’t blame her, but it’s a morale drain.

I have to get her drunk these days to bring her inner minx out. I fear I’ll turn her into an alcoholic just so I can get a blowjob!

Do you think you just have them and then they look cute for a few years till they're off to college?
They're the best thing in my life other than my husband, but holy shit are they the biggest energy drain ever.

Honestly, avoiding having kids is one of the few things that I did right in my life. I'd honestly rather go blind than become a father.

I get that. I hope my husband understands that it has nothing to do with him, I just am... tired from running after the 3 little shits all day while cleaning around and cooking and doing laundry.
They're so tiny but we have so many dirty clothes, I didn't realise how much stuff they wear till I had them. Fucking hell.
My first is off to school in September and I'm honestly so thrilled to have to deal with just 2 of them.

How many do you have? How old are they?

I have three. Two at school age.

Something changes when you add the kids, school, work, sports, etc. Even as the kids aren’t in the house during the day, the tiredness doesn’t really diminish. Just moved to a new area.

I rarely sleep all night because I tend to stay up so I can have quiet with just my wife. She can’t stay up because she is wiped out. I find myself having to rub one out every day because she just doesn’t have the energy.

Idk, I love my wife and kids but I’m starting to feel like I made a mistake along the way. I don’t want to trade my family away or anything. But like I accidentally sacrificed too much from myself for their happiness. You know?

I love my sons. All three. I wouldn’t trade them ever. I just think I gave up on myself too early.

This is just getting pathetic now

I think most people feel that way, at times. I do, I know my husband does. It's tiring, but I've never done anything nearly as rewarding as this.
I miss the sex. I miss being able to just drop everything and go for a trip with my husband. I miss working and having my own money. But I have 4 people who look at me like I'm the coolest woman in the world, and love me unconditionally, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I try to tell myself that. That many people don't know a bit of love in their life, and I have so much love.
Keep it romantic, sex will come back once you're less exhausted. Ask for help if you can.
I'm still hoping I'm going to be a little less tired once they're all off to school and I get a break from them. It's very weird to be a stay at home mom, it's like a job you never stop doing and no one acknowledges you do.

My boyfriend and I are setting up for this kind of arrangement. We both work full time at the moment and we live together, planning on marriage soon.
We need to get him through an apprenticeship on dual income then save up some money then I’m going to be staying at home and having kids. Wont be going back to any form of work until all of the kids are at school. Then I will take on a small job while still doing home duties. I already do all of the cleaning and cooking on top of my job. Only because I like doing it.

i lowkey want this life desu. i'm just worried about the head of household part, like i want to be someone's equal and not lesser than. appreciated just as much. i'd like to paint and tend a garden and learn crafty DIY projects too. i'm not religious but i'm pretty wholesome minus a few kinks here and there. i'm not too big on material gifts in love languages, i'd prefer intimacy, hanging out, and words of affirmations more.

i think one of my main concerns is if it ever became some backwards "holier/manlier than thou" beatfest with bruises, and also worried about sex/kids since i have a small spine issue.

tfw damaged goods

I have this setup as the man. My wife works full time. I clean. Only difference between my life and OP is that she is still my sex slave.

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No marriage. No kids.
Sub gf who makes her own money.
Great fucking arrangement.

Never bring paperwork into your relationship.

I would be fine with either position in this relationship, or any other relationship really. all that really matters is who the relationship is with.

want to try it with me?
please respond.

Kek go away incel

I don't identify with that group, I'm just trying to put myself out there.

Shooters shoot, no shame in the same

game*

internet dating is a spook user! i have a lot of healing to do, at least a year before i think about that stuff ^^;

hope u find ur waifuu 4 laifu

Im curious, have you and your man communicated about the lack of sex?

I suppose I could have a relationship like that if they had a legitimate reason for not being able to have any sort of income, but I wouldn't be very comfortable with somebody being so dependent on me, for their own sake. Like, what the hell would they do if I were to break up with them, move back on with their parents with no job? Also, me being the one to pay for everything, like every time we go out on dates might bother me. And say if it's my birthday, Valentine's Day, or Christmas, am I supposed to give her money so that she can buy me a gift with my own cash?

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I would prefer a partner who works and does her equal share in all aspects of life - not just act like a fuckable substitute for my mother. I'm glad to spoil her with whatever she wants, as apparently she wants to spoil me too, but I like women who have the strength to stand on her own feet and co-create a life with me instead of being my little domestic co-dependent slave.

>pretty much my arrangement with GF

but plenty of people met online, even Jow Forums.

plus with my health i may end up being disabled sooner than i thought, so then i'd be getting some type of income and i don't think i'd be the best at cleaning and sadly not as exciting sex like before maybe because of it. and i'm really small so i worry about carrying babies too.

sucks because i really want a fulfilling life like this or any life but like i said damaged goods. i feel vulnerable and don't want another abuser so i'm kind of a hermit. :/

can you tell me what happened? I really doubt most guys would mind something like that, or maybe I'm just more empathetic (or desperate)

We have sex every day, there's no lack.
We did talk about the quality of sex, tho.

It's basically my life right now with my girlfriend
little backstory:

>got into relationship with beautiful blonde 10/10 chick at 17
>she gets kicked out of the house at 19 years old because redneck shit parents
>I got her into an apartment last minute, 5min walk away from my house
>Pay half the rent, 2/3 of the food, all the bills because she's a full time student in law
>Pay her makeup, cosmetics and shit whenever she wants
>Bought her a new macbook pro for her school, pay all of her school fees and books

I make 70k per year, working 70hrs per week and she makes 15k per year part-time

in return, I get sex even when I don't want it, I get my cock sucked without even asking for it
I get clean good food every night on the table and lunches ready for when I go to work
she keeps her rent clean and tighty
Her redneck family background really destroyed her outlook on life until I stepped in, encouraged her and motivated her to go back to school, finish her degrees and she got into Uni

I guess I'm heading for the right direction? I really do love her and she is wife material, knows how to take care of kids, has same outlook. It does suck to have to dedicate 1/2 of my salary to take care of her but at the same time, I can't beat having a lovely smile and a hug when I come home from work.
We have two dogs and a bunny to keep us happy when we're depressed. Animals do wonder

I'm just wondering if all of this is going to dismiss once kids start kicking in..

I am 23 years old and she's 24.

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If she plans to get into practising law, realise that she probably isn't going to be the most family woman ever.
Anyway, yes. If you have kids, you're not going to fuck all day.

It has already been foretold since I work from home, I'll be more family oriented than her, I own a business and it's kicking pretty well, and kindergarden is like 20$ per day, per kid where I live, depending on the person's salary too.

It could save us some money if I was a stay at home Daddy in any case because I work from home anyways
But thanks for the opinion/advice

See this is my mindset. I know this day and age people want their woman to pay half the rent. But is that worth it if she’s not cleaning, cooking, and fucking well? A stay at home seems more like an investment if she’s the right one.

Does your husband have the means to hire a cleaner/maybe even a cook? Getting rid of house chores and focusing only on kids might make it easier and you won't be as tired.

In my country it's also very common that grandmothers help with the kids. I know many women that have the weekend off because the kids will go and stay with the grandparents for 1-2 days. Don't know if that's an option for you.

I have a problem with it insofar as it means her life revolves around me and the marriage.

I've been a NEET who likes to cook and clean and I can tell you that it's not an 8 work day to keep a house tidy and put a meal on the table.

I think the reality is that I more or less expect to end up with someone who is intelligent and therefore would struggle with being a housewife who didn't have much to stimulate her brain or occupy her time. Even working part time on something that she loves would be better than doing nothing at all, despite the fact that this would mean we'd have to share more of the work around the house.

I definitely look down on people who can do nothing for long periods of time, day in and day out, and remain happy.

Honestly no, in my experience women like this are also boring doormats with nothing in their brain. If I'm going to spend all my life with a woman, I want someone I can have an intelligent conversation with and who shares my interests.

Not to mention 2 incomes make like so much easier. For the life style that I want I'd have to become a CEO to support her, eventual kids and a top-notch lifestyle. Even if I had this much money, how can I be sure she doesn't just stay with me because I'm rich? If anything bad happens, how am I gonna be sure she won't just jump on the first dick that can giver her the lifestyle she wants? I know this is a risk with every woman, but if she has her own money and she doesn't have to depend on anyone, then chances are she won't be a huge gold digger.

Money for monies sake is a pointless endeavour. As long as enough is there to maintain a minimum quality of life and allow us to meet goals why do you need more? I'd be fine supporting a partner if our needs are met and they were doing something worthwhile. Money itself isn't a goal to which is worthwhile, you've got to want to do something with it. I'd be really happy with a stay at home housewife if our basic needs can be met, but I'd expect her to be just as busy and driven as somebody who would usually want a decent career. They should make the most of their time and have ambition.

Like going to a mind numbing job. Clocking in and out. Bringing home a basic wage. This isn't much of an achievement. If anything it gives you a societally acceptable pass as to why your life is so fucking boring. You can pretend that you would do something creative, you would be interesting, you would be driven and achieve great things, but you can't, you have to work, you are tired and give me brownie points for being a total legend, going to work, nose to the grindstone.

You are only ruining your own fucking life and masking your lack of ambition. Equally a stay at home partner should be as driven as somebody who wants a kick ass job in a creative field. It doesn't even have to be about money.

Left at home? Shit I want a self irrigating farm setup. I want mixed culture sour dough bread with various strains undergoing testing with basic microscopy work. I want a cat breeding program to produce genetically perfect kittens. I want home made fucking shoes.

If you don't need to go to work and you are free to do almost anything what do you choose to do? If you choose almost nothing except the most basic and superficial of activities then clearly it isn't going to work out. I wouldn't even be into somebody like that.

Like this question. Are you happy to go to work and bring home the bacon as long as your partner isn't ambitious and tells you it was good enough for them. HAHAHA!

Yeah I have a big fucking problem with it, even if the retarded fedora tipping NEETs here wouldn't

you are essentially a massive liability and all I get out of it is a walking fleshlight, it's not a big deal to throw the clothing in the fucking washing machine

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No, that would be perfect. I would love such a wife, but they are hard to find.

Well a lot of religions have rules that the married couple must have active sex, and it's even frowned upon if you're to busy with religious services to have sex.

So depending on her religion, having a religious wife might not be half bad

I'm pretty conservative but I'm also very independent, so.

>Cooks you breakfast, lunch, dinner every day
I cook for myself and enjoy doing so.

>Gives you a very active sex life, pleases you before work and when you get home from work
That would be exhausting, I generally like to have sex once a day.

>Housewife mentality: cleans house everyday, knows I am the bread winner and head of the house, likes to spoil husband, wants a couple babies
I don't like being messy so I am happy to clean. Children are nice.

>Doesn’t have social media, so doesn’t publicize our relationship and possessions
>Only asks for money to do eyebrows and nails here and there, maybe clothes every now and then
She can do what she likes, I trust her.

The weekend is the only time we have together as a family, I don't want to drop my kids off somewhere. My husband loves them and wants to spend time with them too, we do a bunch of stuff together. Sometimes my mom and sister take care of them for a day during the week, but that's really it. I often use that day to go out with my husband and do stuff as a couple, once I'm done with the cleaning.
We could afford a cleaner, but we try and save as much as we can. Especially since I feel like it's basically all my contribution to the household, and I already dropped a pretty neat job to take care of the kids, I don't want to spend more.
It's okay to be a little tired, it's just a lot of work with 3 of them. I'm happy, they're good kids. They're just a lot of work.
And now they're asleep so we're all going to take a nap, and then husband will cook for all of them. Have a nice day user.

psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-quiz/

try having sex first

Can't you always give them something to do to occupy their time and work their brain?

If you have children, it becomes more than a full time job. It's not a lot of stuff to take care of the house if it's just you and your husband, but if you have children it becomes a lot of work.