Why are we men attracted to 'beautiful' women?
I feel like less attractive women have better personalities and generally try harder, whereas prettier women I've dated mostly live their life on cruise control and expect people to be nice to them.
I want to date this woman who I find has a pretty good personality. But I don't actually find her that attractive. Will I just ease into it over time ? Or should I just abort now ?
You are really thoughtless, rather shallow, and will hurt people by doing this. If you dont find her attractive now, you sure as hell won’t in 10 years after she’s had a baby and gets wrinkles and pudge. You sound young so just grow up some more before dating
I don't know OP, i'm going to be honest and tell you that my opinion with women is very similar, however some physical qualities are important for me that shows if that person is actually capable of taking care of herself. Also what are you planning? A long-term relationship or something short? If it's a long-term relationship and she has a pretty good personality just go for it.
I want to give good genes to my kids
Also, something I learned from older family members : looks depreciate with time, but personalities do too, and much faster. Find the best of both worlds
Personalities depreciate over time and much faster than looks? Wtf are you talking about?
If you don't find her attractive, then you probably don't like her personality as much as you think you do. She sounds like good platonic friend material. When you meet a plain-looking girl who truly has good chemistry with you, trust me, you'll know. You'll know because after getting to know her and being her genuine friend, you'll find her once-plain looks starting to not just appeal to you, but redefine what you find appealing. And the closer you get to her, the more attractive she becomes, even though nothing about her is changing physically. That's how you know you've found "the one."
Hey, at least you aren't dating someone who has barely the looks but no personality.
No, the sex is shit
4 posts and no awful takes on evolutionary biology, I'm surprised.
>Why are we men attracted to 'beautiful' women?
Beautiful is near-synonymous to attractive (and only near because it signifies particularly intense attraction), so your question is basically "Why are we man attracted to 'attractive' women?" Because it's in the definition, dummy.
>I feel like less attractive women have better personalities and generally try harder, whereas prettier women I've dated mostly live their life on cruise control and expect people to be nice to them.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I also find that people tend to expect something more fulfilling out of prettier partners, as if their prettiness is supposed to make them mean more. I would argue that this is because we are fairly vain creatures and don't want to think of ourselves as shallow, and when we find someone extremely attractive, we're more critical about their personalities, hoping to find something rationally "greater" in them instead of admitting that we just think they're hotter.
>I want to date this woman who I find has a pretty good personality. But I don't actually find her that attractive. Will I just ease into it over time ? Or should I just abort now ?
Don't qualify it. Don't as yourself whether you find her that attractive, just ask yourself whether you find her attractive. If the answer is no, then don't go for it, because you'll waste both of your effort and feelings and might even hurt someone (if you care about that). If you just think "well I'd fuck her but she's only a 7/10 and not a 9/10" then yeah go for it. As long as you are attracted to her (and she's attracted to you), then it will work out.
Can someone explain the whole “i can’t date her unless she’s drop dead gorgeous” mindset? I see it a lot on here and do not get it at all. I don’t have a problem with dating an average looking girl. If she likes me, has a good personality, healthy weight, and is somewhat pleasing to the eyes, then who cares? Why do you need a 10/10 waifu?
It's about wanting the best for yourself I guess. Obviously she doesn't have to be a 10/10 model, but I'd like to have an attractive partner. Maybe it's a social status thing too
Yeah but like what’s the minimum rating you would marry? I think even 5/10s can be attractive
I've been told that I'm a 7, so I would say 7 and up. However as a man looks can usually be compensated, so I'll probably aim for a 8 or even a 9.
Biology/evolution, even animals do it and prefer the more attractive and healthier looking mate
Just don't confuse attractive and healthy with hot like porn bimbos or what you see on MTV
Nah I couldn’t live my life turning down perfectly good women because they’re below 8/10. I mean I’m not going to shy away from the most attractive ones but looks aren’t that important in the long run imo.
This is always from virgins who are terrified of sex, terrified of rejection (and thus rejection for sex is the worst rejection possible) and use any excuse they can find to rationalize why it hasn't "happened yet"
>i-it's because of my h-high standards, heh heh
I was the same way for years. Then I lost my virginity to a great but plain looking girl and the thoughts disappeared immediately.
It's biological to have attractive kids
Because if I don't, my eye is going to wander, and I'm going to want to cheat on her or feel unfulfilled. I don't need a 10/10, but I do need someone better than the other options (with a premium for personality and such), because otherwise, what's the point? May as well stay single and go fuck around if I don't find her to be special.
You won't ease into it over time. People are right in saying that age sucks away "beauty," but you always have that memory of someone to fall back to. No one ever looks down at their kids or grandkids and says "oh, I remember how pragmatic my wife was, and a good decision for a life partner."
They talk about those romantic, whirlwind times, that keep them going forever.
Yeah it really depends on how you view things. I think I have a certain worth and I want to be with someone of equal or higher worth. By worth I mean a combination of looks, personality, social status, education, etc.
>This is always from virgins who are terrified of sex, terrified of rejection (and thus rejection for sex is the worst rejection possible) and use any excuse they can find to rationalize why it hasn't "happened yet"
Uh, except it's the exact opposite. It's the guys who can't get any better that are insistent that their fat girlfriend came with a default "better personality," when really they actually just couldn't get any of the pretty girls. Not to mention the gripping fear they have of dating anyone of actual worth that might have multiple suitors.
Why do you think so many men forbid their girlfriends from even talking to other women? They're TERRIFIED they're not good enough to keep her.
By that logic, why would someone of higher worth than you want to be with you? Shouldn’t they also strive for people of equal or higher worth?
Not him, but people have different scales of worth. I might add some extra points to someone that likes comic books, someone else might add extra points to someone who cooks.
Same thing vice versa, where I think redheads are just the absolute best, that woman might prefer someone with darker features than me, a blonde guy.
Hell, some people just don't care as much, and that's how you can "win" there.
>I feel like less attractive women have better personalities and generally try harder
No, they just show you the shitty side of their personality so you'll fuck off
Trust me, to Chad, they're very nice people
Because usually people don't know their own worth. I know a dude who's a cashier, not particularily good looking either, and he ended up marrying a beautiful girl with an optometry degree.
It sickens me how you people look at others, in terms of worth. Looks and money. How pathetic are you? I would rate your worth at nothing.
The question was about people demanding a 10/10 trad virgin model who's into all their same hobbies and fetishes or else they're just not good enough, and that always comes from virgins rationalizing why they aren't trying.
>the guys who can't get any better that are insistent that their fat girlfriend came with a default "better personality," when really they actually just couldn't get any of the pretty girls.
True, but those are people with girlfriends. People who've had sex. The guys who 'can't get any better' are still getting something. I'm not saying they aren't insecure, not by any stretch, but they had the guts to go chase someone and pull them, so that particular excuse about needing a 10/10 won't fly. Instead, they do as you posted.
>why are we men
Fuck off, w*man. A tip for next time; men don't talk like this.
I guess we're looking at it from two different perspectives. I'm looking at it from the sense of someone who has lost their virginity and had sex multiple times, but as a single guy in his early 30s, I want a relationship or even eventual marriage to be with someone who is the total package. Not someone I'm with because I'm afraid of being alone.
Your whole post reeks of cope. Based generalizing retard.
Those more you like someone, the more attractive you perceive them as being, it works the other way too.
If you want to date someone and are worried about sexual attraction it is possible to find them more attractive, but it isn't guaranteed, you can't find land whales attractive after finding someone who lacks all self control around food because they also like memes or have an interesting hobby.
because personalities can be improved, looks no.
also you think looks are skin deep, not its all the way through, speaks of evolutionary fitness
>seething virgin perfectly pegged
Whether you like it or not people in general do this even if it's subconscious. Looks imply good genes or at least good hygiene and social skills/confidence. Money is an indication of resource acquisition and work ethic. Both of these things provide for healthy children and security.
Yes, there is more than a little nuance to relationships beyond this but from a purely reproductive selection standpoint it can be reduced to resources and genetics.
>why do we like beautiful people?
we're subconsciously picking people with good genes to pass to a hypothetical offspring. it's not something you're consciously doing, but that's the reason why Mary looks better to John than Sue does
>I feel like less attractive women have better personalities and generally try harder, whereas prettier women I've dated mostly live their life on cruise control and expect people to be nice to them.
probably bro-science, but we all compensate for our traits that are lacking (ex. dressing to flatter your body shape, avoiding certain conversation topics, etc.).
>But I don't actually find her that attractive. Will I just ease into it over time ? Or should I just abort now ?
there's good chances that she will not become more attractive to you over time if you don't find her attractive now.
OP here, couldn't reply until now but I fixed the issue.
I get that it's biological and that we're wired to find certain traits attractive. But I just find it funny that in the end those traits do very little for you while a good personality should be much more pleasant to have around. It puzzles me how despite our intelligence we have not evolved past shallow, physical attractiveness.
Yeah it's nothing scientific, but I did notice that trend out of all the women I've dated. I can rank them by looks and it's the exact opposite of ranking them by 'niceness'.
Wut? Relax, bro. I'm not a native english speaker.
Well you don't know me but yeah maybe my ex was being a bitch for 5 years so I would finally fuck off. It did work in the end.
>the whole “i can’t date her unless she’s drop dead gorgeous” mindset?
Can you link a post that says this? Most of the people here are very desperate
You act like women aren't attracted to beautiful men. Nobody has it all, OP. There are good looking people with shallow personalities, and very charismatic people that aren't exactly lookers. You go with what's best for you. Also, don't force yourself to like someone if you don't feel it's right. If you like her personality but aren't attracted to her, you could always just be friends. You know guys friendzone too, right?
On the topic of dating less attractive woman, have any guys here dated less attractive woman and regretted it?
I dated a 3/10 once who has some personality disorders and anxiety/shyness. I only did it because before that date I hadn't dated for years. I just wanted to get a refresh hone my dating skills.
Still regret it today though since she was so worried afterwards that I wasn't pleased and I couldn't stand it. She lived very far away so I just blocked her and ignored everything else.
Look no further than this very thread.
But I just find it funny that in the end those traits do very little for you while a good personality should be much more pleasant to have around.
And who the fuck told you there isn't a correlation? Do you think pic related has a good personality?
Use your brains for once.
That's not exactly what I'm talking about in this thread. On the contrary, I wouldn't date a 9/10 or 10/10 woman because I'd feel like men would hit on her constantly.
>I get that it's biological and that we're wired to find certain traits attractive. But I just find it funny that in the end those traits do very little for you while a good personality
And who the fuck told you there isn't a correlation? Do you think pic related has a good personality?
Because a man likes to FUCK
Your pic shows someone who went out of their way to be unattractive.
Some people are unattractive just because they haven't won genetic lottery. Just like yourself, you retard.
Because no one wants to date fatties
At first glance I seriously thought OP's pic was a centaur lady.