Getting married in a few months. My soon to be husband told me he's loaded.
We've been together for 6 years. He never told me. I feel like he doesn't trust me. And I understand all the rational shit you're going to tell me, all the gold digger bullshit you're going to throw at me, but I do love this guy so much and I can't believe he doesn't know that I do. I took care of his dying mother. I was by his side through mental breakdowns. I'm financially responsible and quite well off myself. How do I help being this hurt?
I kind of want to ask him to go to therapy together.
>my future husband is rich not sure what the problem is here lol
My future husband didn't tell me for 6 years that he's rich. He hid and lied about his financial situation till today.
The very fact that he told you proves that he trusts you. It just took him more time than you expected to open up, that's human, and forgivable.
You dont know what experiences he or his family has made and being rich is not as great as it might seem (in terms of social contacts)
Also trust ist something that builds up over time. So rather than a shot at your trust see it as an evidence to him fully trusting you. You are someone extremly special to him.
And if that didnt convince you: when a dude hides a wedding ring, a present, something rather good which can backfire with the risk on his side;and someday proposes, are u angry about him not telling you he is gonna propose?
>be filthy rich >date this chick >don't really know if she's the one, been hurt before because of gold diggers, start lying to her about not being rich >fast forward two years >oh shit she might be the one >can i even tell her the truth ? i don't want to lose her. guess i'll wait for the right time. >fast forward 4 years >getting married in a few months >she helped me through a bunch of shit through the years, i know she's the one >finally tell her that i'm actually rich
you see where I'm going with this ? sometimes once you dug a hole for yourself it's hard to get out of with and you start digging deeper hoping that you end up on the surface on the other side.
I took time off college to take care of his dying mother so he could graduate. She didn't trust anyone but me, his sister and him, so I gave up on myself to help his family. And he was lying to me all along while I was doing this.
No. I'd be angry if he told me he never wanted to marry and then asked me to marry him. Like I'm angry because he lied about his finances.
I get what happened, but I feel so hurt that he didn't trust me. I never did anything to deserve not being trusted.
Too bad women can't hide their beauty until they know if a guy loves them or not. I wonder how many marriages that would save.
So you prefer not meeting him at all beacause he was honest to some other girl and she twirled him around her finger because of the money?
I don't deserve to be punished and lied to for 6 fucking years because some other girl maybe has been a bitch.
And why is that? What did you do to earn his financial trust?
I never asked him for his money. I am devoted to him. I am responsible with my money and I am a high earner. I never gave him a reason to not trust me. I would have trusted this guy with my whole life.
You weren't punished, did you? He didn't tell you he was poor. He just didn't tell you he was rich. Now he did. You may kiss the groom.
You are delusional. You were in no way punished. How the fuck do you expect people to empathize with you?
People can't read minds. No way to know if you are another gold digger. The time you put in showed you were not. How are you college educated but can't grasp this simple concept. This is trust issues 101. Come on now, use your brain.
I’ve been with my gf for years and she has no idea I’m wealthy. I live fairly modest so she doesn’t suspect anything. In my experience people treat you very differently if they know you have a lot of coin so it became a habit not talking or letting it show. I know I shouldn’t hide things from her, but I don’t really know how to tell her we don’t gave to work ever again if we wanted. Will she hate me? Will she demand a castle?
wow you are stupid and a cunt if you are holding a grudge for this
Being treated as a gold digger, despite being down to sacrifice myself for him at any given point, is a punishment. I feel so insulted for being thought of like that, to be honest.
I showed him at least 3 years ago that I was down to sacrifice myself for him completely, and he kept lying to me.
All those are reasons to not misstrust you. But trust ist not black and white.
>get lied to >I'm somehow still the cunt
I don't care much about the money itself, it doesn't change anything. I hate that he lied to me.
Okay, then we simply can't help you here. Go scream at him till you good, then let him scream too till he's good, then call it a day and enjoy life
I don't want to scream at him, I don't even want to talk to him.
No one can help you. You are fucking insane and actually stupid on top. The fact you can't see it from his perspective and the fact you don't understand that knowledge about money changes how people interact with each other astounds me. Don't go back to college, it would be a waste. Actually do, I'd love for you to have your time and money wasted.
Then what? You don't trust him already? Then why bother marry?
for the first five seconds, it was okay not to discuss his financial situation, right?
ok so like ten minutes, still cool?
a week makes sense, right? if he's looking out for gold diggers?
a month is reasonable
a year is probably reasonable too right?
maybe even two years yeah?
ah, jeez it's been two years and he hasn't told her, that's kind of a while, now he's gotta find a time to break the news
ah fuck she's taking care of his mom, is now the time? no, right? after?
ah jeez, he's gotta marry her, right? that's a good time to tell her
5 years? what's the harm, i'll tell her when we're getting married
6 years, here we are simple mistake with compounding interest, not 6 years of treachery
That's why he trusts you now, so much so that he is committed to spending his life with you. If you were in his shoes, pray tell: when would have been the opportune moment to divulge your financial state ti your partner? First date? First year anniversary? Personally I think his timing was appropriate. It is poor game to share your finances with anyone but your spouse. Now you get the man of your dreams and a bonus too - financial security, you'll never have to worry.
I understand that you're hurting but take a deep breath and a step back and try and look at this logically. You have not lost anything. Nor were you punished.
Kys gold digger.
>doing the reverse of the typical “I lied to my gf about my financial situation” bait goddamn you shitposters are getting creative
I already have my degree. No debt. I can see it from his prospective, but I still can't believe he doesn't know me well enough to know I am not that kind of person. There were so many moments in our relationship were we could have talked about this, and he chose to hid it from me till right before he really had to.
I obviously don't trust him now, I just found out he fucking lied to me for 6 years.
If he's really so bad, call off the marriage and forget him.
>protip: you got a good thing going, and you're gonna fuck it up
He shouldn't have lied when we decided to discuss financial situations. We were roughly a year and half in, thinking about moving in together.
No one knows anyone like you think people should. Were not mind readers and people change. Stop being so fuckig stupid and get it through your thick skull that he obviously had trust issues but trusts you now enough to do it.
Fuck why do woman always have the most irrational logic Jesus.
>he has no reason to mistrust me >he mistrusts me anyway even if I haven't done anything to deserve it >I'm the irrational one
I love this guy a lot. It's the first time in 6 years I actually think he did anything bad to me. I can't believe he lied to me.
>punished hysterical woman everybody
You are a lost cause. You are so stupid and hard headed you can't look at this logically or from his perspective. You are so blind it's amazing you can walk anywhere.
His behaviour isn't logical, he's the illogical one. I don't deserve to be distrusted yet he did. I understand his prospective. I think he is being an asshole and he hurt my feelings a lot by treating me like someone I'm not.
He's not being illogical, you are. Being rich is a huge social gamble. You think 6 years is long time? Sweetie, gold diggers work their clients for their entire life. The fact you can't understand this is baffling. You are dumb and can't think. Stop trying and leave him, he was clearly right to not tell you.
I think you just need to reread this thread, and try to understand how every single user has come to the same conclusion. You are the only one defending your emotional outburst. Calm down and sleep on it and if you value your relationship dont say anything to this man until you see where we are all coming from.
well then if you feel that way just break it off with him. he doesn't deserve to be mistrusted by you constantly.
It's not about him trusting you. It's about him being to feel loved because of who he is, and not what he has. He doesn't want the money to influence your decision at any point, which includes staying even after a big fight, moving in, going through a rough time, staying together when the money is tight, or saying yes to marriage. I can understand that perfectly well, because I'm loaded too. It's pretty awful to find out your GF stayed with you because of the money, and that shit stays with you forever. He didn't tell you until you were getting married because now you've moved past all the decisions. He did it for both of your sakes.
>he doesn't deserve to be mistrusted by you constantly. It's the first time I ever mistrusted him, and he deserves it since he lied to me. He had my unconditional trust till today. He betrayed me.
>He did it for both of your sakes. It might be like that from his prospective, but I just see the man I trusted completely and blindly lying to me consistently, for years. I feel like he had a really low opinion of me all along and he was scared of me. I thought he knew me - what kind of person I am and the kind of love I have for him. I feel like not trusting me in the same way I trust him just makes it all pointless. It's painful. I understand he probably didn't mean to hurt me, but I feel awful.
So your trust was conditional then. Unconditional means that no matter what you would always trust him.
Why women think in terms of 'forevers' and 'always' I will never understand. Everything in this life ends.
>His behaviour isn't logical, he's the illogical one. Imagine having so much money that everybody acts fake or butters you up trying to get close to you. Imagine how hard it would be to get a loving life partner like that, let alone make friends or acquaintances.
Yeah it's shitty he lied, but money changes the dynamic of all relationships. You're going to need to cope or leave, because if this shit is throwing you for a loop then your marriage is going to fail from pure retardation.
I can see that as well. If I hadn't gone through that scenario myself I would think it's just someone being more interested in his money than his wife.
But think of these things. What if he was a foreigner and his green card depended on him marrying you? Would you believe that he said yes just because he loves you? Or would you think his green card might have played a role in him saying yes? You'll probably think he said yes because he loves you, but you'll always have that niggling doubt in the back of the head. And when you have a big fight, you'll start to wonder a little bit more every time. And him? He'll feel dependent on you, and he'll also wonder if he said yes only because of you, out of the green card influenced his decision.
I understand that you feel betrayed, but long-term it really was the best decision.
Nobody trusts the new guy to dick around with the expensive equipment for an important client with a contract worth millions. It takes time for the new guy to prove himself slowly from doing shitty jobs until he is trusted to do the big ones.
Nobody rich trusts the new girlfriend to not dick him over once she finds out he's loaded. It takes time for the rich guy to learn she can be trusted.
If I found the love of my life I would still be extremely careful and untrusting. It’s too easy to lose everything over a simple mistake.
Ask him to call off the wedding. He clearly doesn't deserve you. Fucking rotten cunt is what you are.
easiest way to fail the shittest is by getting worked up over the fact that you got shittested to begin with
if you are going this crazy over it, you should just end the relationship because you’re never going to have a happy marriage, you should make the retarded mistake of making a mountain out of a mole hill and regret destroying a perfectly fine relationship that’s only looking to get better because of your stupid feelings of betrayal over nothing. You’re likely never going to have a relationship as good as this ever again so you might as well destroy it and ruin your life and his.
How the fuck did you not know about your partner's financial situation for six whole years?
You're really self centered and maybe that's why. You'll get over it. As someone who was born into wealth I can tell you he had a VERY fucking good reason not to trust you. Don't take it personally. Don't be short sighted.
This thread is bait yall.
No one really complains and gets hurt in any meanful nonegotistical way by their boyfriend being rich and keeping his status on DL
OP you should call off marriage
Then go to therapy together. It's hard to find a good woman. The consequences for accepting a shit wife are life ruining. If he had mental breakdowns, then I'm expecting those issues would cause him a lot of anxiety. I just had an experience where a woman wasn't was I thought she was, if i was loaded, I don't know how far would I go with hiding it either. I know 6 years is a lot, but it sounds like he's more anxious or paranoid than average. It doesn't sound to me like it need to be a big deal. Therapy sounds like a great idea.
No, my trust was not conditional. Whatever he told me, whatever he asked me to do, I'd do it because I had complete faith in him. I don't think of it in terms of forever, more in terms of "if he came to me and told me 'right now the best thing for you to do is to shoot your foot. do it now', I'd do it". Now obviously that I know he lied to me, I don't feel the same.
He trusted me to clean his mother's shit from her ass, but he couldn't tell me the truth about his money. I'm not some kind of stranger or some girl he doesn't know, I'm someone who proved him over and over how devoted and in love with him.
I got lied to for 6 years. Of course I feel betrayed. How else would I feel?
Because he didn't tell me and I didn't look into his fucking bank account.
I'd never think he doesn't love me. That's the thing. I have never had one moment of one day when I didn't feel absolutely certain of his love for me, and knowing he doesn't feel that kills me. It just kills me.
I'll ask him tomorrow if he wants to go to couple's therapy together. I asked him to leave me alone to calm down for a couple of days, I'm too angry to talk to him now.
>but I do love this guy so much and I can't believe he doesn't know that I do He does which is why he told you.
Even if you're married he could still hide it, he didn't need to tell you shit.
>My trust is unconditional as long as you follow my conditions Bitch, could you at least learn the English language before you post.
>I kind of want to ask him to go to therapy together. suggest it then. /thread
You r so f stupid it hurts. What is the problem in a man wanting to filter out gold diggers?! Probably he wanted to but didn’t know how to tell you earlier. Chill woman. Be happy you passed the test and look at the positive side of life.
You just feel entitled. That’s your problem. Instead of trying and understanding
Break up. He's better off without you.
>be a man w lot of money >tell the woman I love I’m rich >gold digger-breakup >not tell the second woman I love >still break up
Ffs you think like a kid. He’s better off without you. Just do him a favour and leave.
In all your self pitying sessions did it even cross your stupid mind to ask him why he did not tell you earlier?! All you think about is yourself
Well done, OP.
10/10 b8. Extremely well crafted. I fell for it. The only thing that revealed that its bait was your egoistical over-and-over "HE PUNISHED ME I CANT BELIEVE IT ZOMG!!1!" bullshit. I don't believe that such an unstable woman exists, let alone has a fiancee.
It's most likely rooted in his own insecurity, or didn't want to make it a big deal. Maybe he has dated gold diggers in the past and doesn't like telling people about his financial situation.
I don't think you can claim he doesn't trust you on this one if this is the only thing he has with held.
I suggest asking why before jumping to conclusions.
The best bait is constructed from half-truths. Whether or not somebody should reveal their richfag status to a potential partner is actually a very good question.
Valid points this had me going aswell until it went from genuine concern to crazyperson screaming at clouds
Only a masturbaiter would try to push it this far
Could be a woman thing, though. I remember this happening in two and a half men. She dumps Ashton Kutcher after finding out he lied about being poor.
Yes but had he told you he would loaded early on, how could you or he ever know you would love him if he wasn't?
>I kind of want to ask him to go to therapy together. Why the fuck do women always try to do this? Bitch, get a grip. You should be happy.
Thanks user, I tried really hard.
Have a good day anons.
Keep up the good work
>people falling for this bait again Newfags everywhere.
>I still can't believe he doesn't know me well enough to know I am not that kind of person. When should he have told you? First date? First month? First year?
>Because he didn't tell me and I didn't look into his fucking bank account. Never saw his car? Never saw his phone? Never saw his house? Never saw what he ordered for dinner?
I think you are retroactively mad he hasn't been spending money on you like you think you deserve. How dare he.
I was baiting. It's also a pretty old bait.
Jow Forums is the easiest board to bait. Pick literally any gun law and say you support it. Or pick literally any gun company and say they suck. Or pick any country in WW2 and say they were the most important.
Heck saying you like a certain caliber without insulting any other will cause trouble.
"I like 9mm pistol" is enough.
>I never did anything to deserve not being trusted. trust is something you earn, not something you deserve. this guy nailed it. i would try to just get over it
Okay yes he lied, but yes it makes sense. Could he have told you earlier? Yes absolutely? Did he? No. You said yourself you love him and went through a lot with him. Obviously you care about him and he trusts you now. Just be happy and move on.
You have something amazing going and you’re about to fuck it up because you can’t understand where he’s coming from. People aren’t fucking perfect him and you. Be angry but get over it move on and be happy damnit.
Yeh because he was making sure you're not in it for the money. How hard is that to understand? >wah wah I cared for his mother and did all those other things a partner does >wah how could he not throw money at me I DESERVE his stuff That's how your post fucking reads and it's beyond me how you're unable to see how fucking shady you sound. His financial situation should be of no issue to you as long as you're both doing well and he can provide for himself. What makes you think you're just entitled to your partners wealth?
Beside the fact I never claimed I was entitled to his wealth but only to the knowledge of it. I was baiting. I'm just trolling.
I'd run for the hills, probably would have done so a few years earlier, but that's just my 0,02$.
You are not being rational
This guy is based
This man has choosen you for a lot of qualities unrelated to material wealth, and he wanted you do choose him for reasons also unrelated to material wealth.
Get your shit together
>roastie has a chance at getting what all roasties want >somehow is going to fuck it up I love it.
Dude wanted to make sure you're in for the long haul and the first thing you do is freak the fuck out.
I dunno OP, in his shoes I'd kind of be vindicating myself and as his friend I'd be patting him on the back, complimenting his steady foresight and control in this matter.
I dunno what to say, it sounds like he was testing the waters for shit and found some. Are you really gonna be like that for him? He trusted you with valuable, exposing information; he stepped into dangerous territory. Money does things to people, Anonymous, even people who have twelve-year friendships and shit like that. Money is a powerful, powerful object in the modern world and imagining your Disney platitudes to have more value than the force that staves off your rent, bills, groceries, and emergencies is a dangerous sign that your husband was right about you being dubious around the concept of money.
What you SHOULD do is let this change nothing. What you ARE doing is proving that by holding the information off he was right, that you would react in a volatile manner and would not be readily presented the information without a significant margin of error-- IE you telling us that this makes you want to drag your husband to therapy.
Why's it so hard to be happy that he's loaded? Yeah he watched his ass, you have to watch your ass. If you can't respect that then fuck straight off; bitches are horrible and you can never tell what will awaken a woman's bitchy streak.
So like I said: you were somehow smart enough to get married (SOMEhow even though you need Jow Forums to give you fucking RELATIONSHIP advice), so why not continue pretending to be that smart, and roll with this new fact of your life since it hasn't changed anything horribly drastically. It certainly shouldn't have. Don't fucking do what every god damned fuck cunt woman does and somehow manage to make this all about you and your fee-fees. You are not above standards just because you have a bloated sense of self-worth.
He's a good catch
I read some of your comments OP and even after all you have done to help him at the beginning doesn't mean you were going to last till today and are going to get married. Your future husband could have been hurt by someone that used him for his money and that doesn't mean he doesn't trust you, it was just his way to feel secure and to be sure the you love him for who he is nothing else
This bait could be better
I mean, I literally said it was bait 10 or 15 posts ago and no one cared.