Beating My Wife


>her and I met in college
>dated on and off for 3 years
>more serious relationship for 2 years after that
>get married
>been married for two years now
>I'm 25 she's 26

Was out with friends to grab something to eat and a few drinks last Friday, the conversation somehow turned to wife beating. I mentioned that on two occasions I'd physically assaulted my wife, the atmosphere at the table totally changed after that and everyone started talking to me like I was an asshole. I didn't even go into that much detail but somehow it was still enough to piss them off.

These are my friends that I've known for years, how cant they understand that if we're still happily married that clearly we've moved on and it isn't a problem? I've known this woman for almost 8 years and yet my relationship with her has to be defined by 20 minutes of interaction with her? I look after her, spend money on her and love her, but because I raised my hand to her a couple of times I'm a shitty husband? I tried to explain this to them but they were combative and changed the subject. I'm worried I've damaged my relationship with people I've called my friends since high school.

Am I in the wrong here?

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Because tons of people don't hit others to get their way, user.
You ARE an asshole.

no. you are not wrong.
dump your stupid friends and find other ones.

>I beat my wife and my friends didn't like that
>am I in the wrong here?

Wew lad

Yeah, because you admitted to it.

I've hit my fiancè once and I'm 100% sure she deserved it. She was picking a wound on my back while I was playing a game that needed focus. Fucking digging her nasty claw into an open wound while I told her to stop and recoiled several times. She would not stop so I told her I was going to hit her. She would not stop so I hit her (once in the ribs with the back of my hand,) and she ran into the bedroom and locked the door, crying.

I told this story twice irl: lost the friend I told it to and the other time branded me as an asshole to my mother/step father.

Even if it's reasonable people just don't want to hear that shit and you WILL be the bad guy.

Is this b8? No real man hits women.

If she deserved it then you are not an asshole.but you made a mistake by telling people about it since we live in a society where men are always wrong and it's ruled by feminist retards

Ya like those people who are against child beating, society is ruled by prochild retards, what’s wrong with smackin em around

>I told my long time friends that I did something amoral and probably tried to defend myself
>implying you didn't just invite all of your friends to fuck your wife purely because they know your secret now
jfc, inb4 OP gets put in a mental ward by his riteous friends and a gangbang version of sweeny todd begins.

>even if it’s reasonable

i’m not saying what she did was right because it was far from it, but a true man never lays his hands on a woman

>Hits women

you don’t hurt the people you love. If you hurt them you don’t love them.

>but because I raised my hand to her a couple of times I'm a shitty husband?

Yes, you're a piece of shit
Once maybe, twice, you're done son

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Lots of people hit their wives. Not everyone but a lot.
No one is gonna say hitting Is okay.
Just like no one is gonna say drugs are okay. What they will tell you is get therapy.
I hope you aren't looking for sympathy.
Anyways if you or if she is gonna hold it against you then dump the relationship.
Start over

I hope you never have kids. You sometimes have to hurt people BECAUSE you love them and it's for their own good.

Not OP here but, if he accepts that it was wrong, is regretful for it, and has changed his ways and has not done it ever again, then why should he continue to be judged for it in the present?

You can't just keep people in perpetual negative judgement forever. That kind of treatment should only be reserved for people like serial killers or child rapists.

People have to be given the chance to redeem themselves for their mistakes. It sounds like OP has done so. Maybe he shouldn't have been so forthcoming with the information in public with friends. But if you make a bad morally wrong mistake in the past, and you accept it, and you move on and redeem yourself, why is it wrong to then bring it up in conversation as if to say "I did that once, it was bad, but I learned my lesson"?

It's ok user. Women can be annoying.

I hit my girlfriends a few times. I've totally turned around and yeah; I understand you.

You are completely in the right here. The fantastic thing is that they, too, everybody, has dark secrets.

A good friend will respect your privacy, love you, and help you. This is where trust comes in and why trust exists. You put your neck out, in a way asking for help and also offering understanding, but they just took the chance to step on your neck. They are not real friends.

They might be fair-weather friends, or friends of convenience, but they're not real ones.

You made a mistake, like anyone else, and you deserve forgiveness. I think all you really need to hear right now is that yeah, you're right and OK to think and feel this. You are the logical one and they are subscribed to the status quo over your friendship. Give them a choice between status and being your friend, they'll choose status.

If you need someone to talk to, email me [email protected]

Every woman needs a little maintenance sometimes. They have to be reminded who's stronger and in charge. Don't leave bruises or draw blood though if you did that you're a shitbag. And never tell anyone it will always look bad especially in our feminized society.

Respect has to be earned, if you do disrespectful things, you should expect society to shun you for a while while they test if you're still worthy of your dignity. Especially if there was a traumatic event tied to a revalation...

You've got to stop doing this. Remember that people come here for help. They're vulnerable and sometimes weak and emotional. They wouldn't be here if they didn't have a problem.

Look at your post and ask yourself "How did this benefit OP? How did I make his life and problem better?"

Because from my vantage point, your post looks like hate.

I know you struggle with men, they've probably hurt you, and you feel like you escaped a huge oppressive society that's built to keep women down. I sympathize with your struggle I really do. But to accomplish your goals, you must help men; use kindness as your paintbrush. Let love be your canvas. Humans are attracted to love and beauty. Your desires will manifest in the world if you can turn your ideas into something beautiful.

I hope you get what I'm trying to say. I'm not sure you will. But I see a lot of potential in you. I love women like you. You guys are very strong and have a lot to offer.


If you’re asking were you in the wrong to bring it up then yes. Shameful things I’ve done in the past and tried to put behind me are difficult to talk about even with one close friend. The chances of being misunderstood are high. Bringing them up to a group of friends casually is wreckless.

The way you talk about this makes one wonder if you sincerely feel bad about it though. But it’s not like I can really tell.

Man, the internet really is law enforcement's best friend.
Thank you for sharing.

Are you retarded OP?

Gotta level up, Butters.
not one reply from OP

You have bad judgment if you can't read your friends. Also, if you are going to admit to hitting your wife, you probobly should have gone into the details. Then your friends can at least know the facts, if you and your wife were drinking, then she punched you in the face ten times before you shoved her is different than you came home and punched her because dinner was cold. Also, if you revealed this little tidbit in front of other couples or women you are a dumbass.

Wear a tank top to work. Stop wearing tank tops in the summer.

Hank Pym?

If she is dumb enough to stay with you then the least you can do is not procreate. Seriously, don’t even think about having kids.

It sounds like you are genuinely remorseful about this, and I don't think that this should be something that is held against you forever. But let's be real, admitting this in a social situation like this is pretty dumb. I'd be shocked too if someone I considered my friend since high school suddenly admitted to abusing women.

Yeah i know. I agree forgiveness can't come before restitution. In my case it was about a decade ago and I made things right a long time ago, the girls easily forgave me, and they still love me and I love them.

>veiled threat thinking police will follow up on this post
>not already knowing half the shit on Jow Forums is made up, if not all of it

>Beating My Wife

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Reasonable? Fuck off psycho, you don’t hurt someone on purpose when you’re angry, that’s what tards do. Your wife was just being a dumb ass and didn’t deserve shit

This is a pretty good answer.

My dad has had physical altercations with my mom in the past, and it's really hard to figure out. My mom's one of those "you can't hit me because I'm a woman" people, but will scream in your face within an inch, spit on you, throw the BBQ in the pool, hit you, etc. She once smashed a glass table on me and told everyone it was because I flung a barstool at her (I knocked it over in front of myself in anger, but 15 feet separated us). She broke a window on my house and reported my car stolen so I'd get pulled over by the police when she thought I was drinking and driving.

She unenrolled me from college in the middle of the semester.

I mean, bitch deserves to get hit instead of playing the "I'm a woman" card. But that doesn't excuse your shit, OP, and you shouldn't have brought it up to friends.

Your fault for being engaged to a literal autist.

Sure, you're and idiot. In my experience, you don't need to tell all your shit to "your friends", theya will judge you like they don't make mistakes. Human are like that, they're cunts that never fucked up, until they fucked up, then they want comprehension and care. Also, you are a faggot, never put a hand on a woman.

you WERE an asshole in those twenty minutes, and you WERE in the wrong. That doesn't make you always an asshole and shouldn't lose you friends, but own up to it nigga

My father told me that the only time he beat the shit out of mother was in a parking lot when they were college students. They were having a heated argument and my mom was taunting him to hit her, which I believe. They were both drunk and high on cocaine.

My boyfriend hit his ex once. She scared the shit out of him and he swung without thinking. It was 100% reflex, and he felt bad afterwards.

If my friend admitted to actually hitting his wife once under similar circumstances, he could be forgiven. If he did it more than once, there is doubt his account is even true. If he did it more than once without these justifiable circumstances, I would definitely think lower of him.

Just two cents from a chick, OP.

What if it does mean women deserve to get hit?

What is the hang-up western society has on physical violence against women when there is virtually nothing stopping women from being abusive? We're obviously dealing with a very small part of the population, both abusive and physically violent men and women. But why are we zero tolerance on one thing but not the other?

What does it make women if we are told they cannot tolerate any physical violence at all? Fragile children? Certainly not my equal. I don't want to hurt anybody, male or female, yet I fully expect and accept if one day I act completely utterly retarded to a friend, I might get pushed or slapped on the back of the head. Why does what you have between the legs change things so severely?

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>His wife is literally hurting him
>He hurts her back
"Fuck off psycho, you don't hurt someone on purpose..."

Because women were mercilessly beaten for hundreds of years by their husbands and couldn't do anything about it until fairly recently. The stigma about it now is purely reactionary. We might never escape it, though.

Oh and, in addition, men still beat the shit out of their girlfriends/wives. We've gotten better, but our domestic violence is still pretty up there. It'll take at least one generation who didn't experience men beating women for the reactionary stigma to fade, so it'll be a very, very long time.

Fuck off incel.

>What is the hang-up western society has on physical violence against women when there is virtually nothing stopping women from being abusive?
It's only been about 100 years since it was practically legal to marry women and kill them for their dowry.

>What is the hang-up western society has
It's an antinationalist strategy. The freer that women are, the less we have nations. It's one tool being used to depart the old world of nation-states and enter a new world that's globalized.

This isn't even a conspiracy. I've read it clear as crystal in a university textbook for gender studies.

You never beat your wife, you give her a solid slap. Anything more is abuse.

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In my opinion there is nothing wrong with disciplining your significant other. After all, at the end of the day, you do love her and she loves you, and more often than not not disciplining her would most probably do more harm than good for the both of you. Think of beating her from time to time as a means to maintain and test a healthy relationship. After all if she can still love you despite that you must have a healthy relationship.

You did ask if you were in the wrong but that's a moral choice and one that you will have to decide for yourself. It might help if you set down some clear rules pertaining to interactions with your wife so you won't feel guilty as long as you don't transgress those rules.

Discipling your children and hitting your wife out of anger who is supposed to be your equal are two totally different things

fuck off

Because the answer to this is "violence is never the answer." Think about it: short of cowing them and only them into absolute obedience, and you'd need quite a show in modern days to convince people a gun couldn't solve your ass good and fucking shortly, and that's not counting the idea that someone has a belt on you and your attempt to get your point across with violence ends in your ass being physically restrained by your talented superior.

The thing is, violence is one of "Those Things," you know what I mean? Of course not, that's vague as Hell. I mean things that are always, always, always, always 100% of the time, 10 cases of 10, more convenient for one party than it is for the other. The PROBLEM with these things is that roughly never wanting to be on their receiving end themselves, the onus becomes for us to ensure that any use, if any exists at all, is of the utmost judicious decision-making and that all other options are thusly exhausted.

Violence never works because the defeated swear revenge, and it's an empirical kind of gauge-- like, "I just need to be able to break that armlock and I can get him on the ground." Then you're in a totally different scenario. Or you use violence on your wife and her reply is to crowbar your ass when you walk in the door from work next, only to find the house pitch-black until you feel wrought iron fuck up your skull.

It's never an appropriate response because the only response to it is more violence, to which the response is also violence, to which... so and so and so, until someone ends up dead and the law has to get involved with all its dickery.

That's why violence at all has such a hang-up. That's why we get all bitchy when cops shoot people. Violence doesn't solve shit, it just plants a seed of revenge somewhere and turns someone else violent. That's it.

As for you I want the full quoted excerpts that identify your point or I'm calling "university student thinks they're smarter than anyone despite only reading a public, published work"

Le epin trol xDD
Here's your (you).

>her and I
It's 'she and I' you unbelievable mongoloid

>beat my wife
>am i an asshole???
Weww buddio. Not sure if dense or just an amoral sociopath. Probably both.

I'd post it if I still had the book