Back story on this. >met bf back in hs, fell in love promptly >want to marry and have kids with him and in general that is my goal >Two years later, he gets an offer from a college 5 hours away in a different state >its an offer I wouldn't even turn down >be happy for him, want him to succeed in life, but also dread the fact that I might have to wait 4 grueling years to finally live together and start a life. >he starts telling me how he asked this board, and how there's people he knows who had successful ldrs, he believes our love is strong enough to get through it. >the thing is, I can't bear the thought of this, all I've heard from ldrs from my experience and online is that it ends messily and in heartbreak.
So are ldrs really worth it? Or should I cut my losses with a man who could potentially lead to a happy life and just pursue my career? Any personal experience with ldrs?
About half of my 4 year relationship is an LDR, really not many issues caused by it.
Ryder Phillips
Why not just move with him?
Jaxon Harris
5 hours? Isnt that like 1 plane ride or a car ride away. Cant you meet up once every fortnight?
It seems like a simple solution
Christopher Lopez
>see eachother every other week Have you ever been in a relationship? After a while, they should be seeing eachother everyday. This. Just move. Having had my high school relationship end before college, I’d say it’s a lot simpler to just live together.
Luis Adams
>everyday
I meant for the 5 hour difference, i mean it shouldnt be that hard to just travel that distance, not easy sure but certainly not impossible.
Brayden Murphy
Lds are not real relationships. Both if you will find irl people to get physical attention from, you realize how much prime pussy college has, right? Unless you are you he’ll hae his cock wet each weekend.
Parker Phillips
Picture this: your girlfriend lives 90 miles away from you. You both work full time jobs/study full time. There’s 1-2 days you both have off, and you can see eachother if you have no other obligations or sacrifice much needed sleep. 90 miles. It takes 2 hours to see her. It takes her 2 hours to see you. 2 hours back. Maybe 2 hours for a round trip if you meet somewhere in between. This means you just barely have enough time to see eachother and maintain a relationship without moving in together. 2 hours. OP is going to deal with 5 hours.
Wyatt Hill
OP here, it's not simple to move in with him because I have responsibilities here, such as my job and school. And not everyone has the luxury and time to be able to take a plane ride or train ticket each week. If it was that simple I wouldn't be here
Josiah Gray
Exact concerns I had
Isaiah Murphy
My girlfriend said the same thing to me. She said there would be so many other girls living in walking distance of me that I would find someone else within a few weeks of college. I was with her for 2 years. I lived at college for not 4 but 5 years. I didn’t have sex once during that time period.
Aaron Carter
Well like either move in with him or move on. Long distance is fucking retarded, the whole point of being with someone is to be with them, spend time etc.
Ian Fisher
Care to give further reasons besides the "its fucking retarded" conclusion?
Cooper Adams
Like I said, the point of a relationship is to spend time with and commit to another person. In reality you're going to have very little time to spend time with him.
At the end of the day, best case is this: You're going to leave after work and meet up with him late as fuck on friday nights and hangout. Then you leave sunday afternoon. You will have very little time for hobbies as you have work and other shit you have to handle on the weekdays. Which is kind of unhealty and pretty stressful in my opinion on the relationship.
Also, its just not a lot of time to hang. When i'm seeing a girl and its getting serious we randomly hit each other up in the middle of the week because we just want to see each other. And you don't have that luxury, you will be forced to schedule everything with your guy, which again, is stressful as fuck.
Its just a shitty way to interact with someone. One of my best friends lives about a 6 hour car ride away. I FUCKING HATE GOING TO SEE HIM, and i dont anymore. I hate the drive, i make good money and i hate putting 150 in gas to see him, its just shitty. I love hanging out with him, hes my homie, but it fucking sucks trying to get over there.
Its not worth it lmao, move with him or break it off.
Gabriel Williams
I have a friend who lives 5 hours away and comes to visit once or twice a month for her friends/family. She leaves Friday evening after work, gets to her family before midnight, then has all of Saturday and Sunday morning to visit. It’s certainly doable for OP as long as she doesn’t try to visit every single week and gets burnt out
Bentley Brooks
Hence i suggested once evrry two weeks, i mean people do longer distances where they dont see each other for months
Sebastian Turner
>”my friend” We’re talking about a relationship here. Staying romantically involved with someone is not like hanging out with them.
Joshua Bailey
We are used to seeing eachother at least 4days a week and to switch that to once a week or whenever it comes will be hard to get used to. I really love him and never met a person like him, should I try to see if I can get used to it for a couple months before coming to a conclusion?
Nathaniel Howard
>5 hours away >bf posts on this board >should I cut my losses Wtf.... wtf...
1. 5 HOURS is fucking nothing you needy cunt 2. How the fuck can you post shit like “should I dump my bf?” on a board HE goes on. God damn
Blake Jenkins
Depends on you and him, really. My husband and I started as a LDR, across the atlantic ocean. No main issues with it beside the fact that I missed him a bunch since we went a couple of months without seeing each other, but we never argued much and were happy together all along. We moved in together after 3 years and half. If you're happy together and love each other, do it.
Ryan Butler
To add to this - if you have any concerns, honestly, don't do it. I sacrificed a huge part of my life to make this work because this guy is the love of my life and I couldn't bear a life without him. My friends, my family, my career and myself came second to him. This was my big project, the one thing I was all in and had no doubts on. If you feel like you won't make it and are filled with doubt, just let it go.
Elijah Young
Relax u petard, he went here once for... advice! Unless you're a neet with no grasp on relationships and no qualms on money and transportation and time management then I feel bad for you. There's nothing wrong with deciding on what's best for your own future over someone else.
Asher Parker
Ofc, if you were honest with this post you must tpgive this a chance. It might even strengthen your relationship.
Hudson Jenkins
Jesus christ this is heavy, but thank you I'll take it into consideration. I love more than my siblings because he's done so much for me, I feel like I have to get through with it sometimes because I owe it to him. I might need to lay ground rules if I want this to last, such as making it clear that I'm not in a relationship for just fun but also for a future.
Liam Barnes
I'll have to have a talk with him about if he really wants to be serious and settle down after this, hell, I'll even propose! If he's really serious about our love being strong as he says it is then I'll try it for him
Noah Watson
Complaining over a 5 hour distance is a joke. They could see each other every weekend
Juan Taylor
OP why does it not seem to be an option for you to move with him? This guys the one you want to marry but you act like either you do LDR for four years or break up. Why can’t you put your own schooling on hold for a bit to move with him? Or wait a year and transfer to his school?
William Wilson
I did it just because there was no other guy I could be happy with - he's the one. And I didn't even believe in the one before I met him, he's just the real shit. I had guys who liked me on my side of the world, even "good" ones, but this is the guy who made me light up when he smiled at me (and still does). LDRs are no fun and it's a lot of sacrifices. But if you have a person who's worth everything, do it. If you don't think he's the real shit, then don't bother because really if it's just for a quick fuck and hanging out you can find it in your town without investing on trains and rides.
I know it's heavy, but it's the truth to me.
Andrew Foster
What cunts were you from? I’m doing the across-the-Atlantic thing right now
Justin Diaz
He's from the States, I'm from the good ol' EU. I got my degree and then moved. Would have moved after 3 months we knew each other but I didn't want to spend several thousand dollars to get an education.
Easton Gray
Good for you user, hope it works out for you.
I am rooting for both of you..
Jeremiah Williams
how was your transition in the US? I know the change from EU-US isn’t huge, but how was adjusting to the differences that do exist?
Jackson Martinez
Read past posts nigger
Christian Peterson
I visited a lot (spent 3 months over here every year while we were dating) so it wasn't *too* traumatic, but it was weird. I still think people are really weird over here, and I feel out of place a lot. I'm getting used to it, but I still don't really like going outside without him.
Dylan Jones
Fucking retard don't break up unless you don't like him anymore it's pretty simple.
If you end up breaking up in the future, so be it; at least then you won't be constantly asking yourself "what if?". Let me tell you, regret hurts 100x more, and lasts 10x longer than a breakup.
Brandon Miller
If the talk works or doesnt work out, I'll update in another thread in two days
Kayden Russell
What state did you live in? Do you live in some irrelevant state that doesn’t have other euros? how’s the career search?
Wyatt Perez
We live in an irrelevant East coast state. Planning to move to Florida soon. He lived on the west coast but we agreed to move east so I can fly back without spending all my money and all 3 days on travelling. No Euros around, but probably will be easier in Florida. Work is fine. I have a decent part time job, make pretty sweet money considering the hours I work. I don't want to do anything spectacular with my career because we want to have children and I'll mostly take care mostly of them and the house, but I wanted to have an education and some work experience in case anything happens to him - I didn't want to be a 50 year old without a job, without an education, and with no support network if he got a stroke or some shit. I don't know if it makes any sense, I'm a paranoid planner.
Where are you and your SO from?
Jack Morris
Florida should be better (depending where in Florida) lots of euros do move there.
I live in a relevant east coast state with a surprising amount of euros. My gf is in the EU. We visit each other every few months
James Torres
>I didn't want to be a 50 year old without a job, without an education, and with no support network if he got a stroke or some shit. If you’re really worried about that. Make sure he has life insurance. Also, make sure to make friends at your work
Isaiah Carter
I did, asshole. All I saw was which doesn’t explain what I asked. Yes OP has a job and school but why is that somehow not an option to leave them for the supposed love of her life?
Daniel Murphy
Just go and live with him?? Dont see whats wrong with moving to another state with him while hes still in school
Jason Phillips
We'll both get one as soon as we have kids, we both agreed on that. Now it doesn't make any sense.
Christian Nelson
Yeah that is a good point.
I hope you will enjoy living in the US. You may like Florida better. There is a lot to do there.