>Can't spend more than two minutes in a room with dad before he "jokes" about what a useless freeloader I am
>Repress every urge to tell him that I can barely get out of bed in the morning knowing that I have to live in a world people like him built and that I think about killing myself every other day
>Two years ago saw the life drain out of both of my parents' eyes when I told them that it was their fault that I was alive and suffering in a world without an ultimate purpose or significance
I don't want to be this way. I try not to be, but I can't find any compelling reason to think that life is fundamentally preferable to non-life (and yes, I'm aware that the fact that I believe this and haven't killed myself means I either don't really believe it or am just an enormous coward).
Meditations of a Canadian Shitposter
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OP is truly a faggot
I just don't know how to relate to the world knowing what I know now. Nothing that I can do can escape from the Darwinian (Luciferian?) hold over the world. Everyone who might share my way of seeing things runs the risk of being a Fed. The people who I do throw in with (you guys) routinely celebrate things that I know are hideous. The job hunt is going, but it's all "3 years of experience" or "Mandarin / Punjabi preferred" (I'm serious). I looked at the airport want ads today and there's an entire section of jobs exclusively reserved for natives who are allowed to maintain their own pork barrel ethnostates, while the last of my English neighbors died almost ten years ago.
I can't even tell where my ideology ends and my personality defects begin anymore. It's all just mired in this never-ending flood of information pouring in 24/7 from all over the world, and I feel powerless to look away. I am also just waiting for the day that the other shoe drops - that every 3 letter agency releases a dossier on all the Internet activity they've ever gathered, and that it will be recorded in shocking fidelity exactly when I felt weakness, strength, hubris, evil. I worry that all the evil things I had thought and hoped for when I first discovered Jow Forums will be released like a yearbook in blackface.
What do we have now? Just fashwave and the hilarious transience of fashion in capitalism, constant ephermality, no guiding principle, no unitary ethic, no shared orientation. I would close with a thought from Maurice Bardeche:
>And we are free to protest, free, infinitely free to write, to vote, to speak in public, provided that we never take measures which can change all that. We are free to get upset and to fight in a universe of wadding. One does not know very well where our freedom ends, where our nationality ends, one does not know very well where what is permitted ends. It is an elastic universe. One does not know any more where one’s feet are set; one does not even know any more if one has feet; one feels very light, as if one’s body had been lost.
The in-store prices, you know what to do
Listen to Bowden and move towards a greater understanding of what you could become.
youtube.com
try to make a better life for your own kids and teach them the importance of family and genetics.
I am a NEET, I don't go in stores.
pull ur head out bucko
it gets better
Go to church... youll find your less of a faggot afterwards
I've listened to him a lot. Thanks for the recommendation.
Sincerely pray to Jesus Christ every morning for 5 minutes to show you your purpose and things will begin changing. Inb4 “kike on a stick.”
You've never been to a Canadian church, I see.
So look at life as your chance to have fun and make money, then go do it
>Go pray to jew jesus
Shut the fuck up kike lover
Pick goals and work towards them in whatever small but trackable increments you can.
I read all three posts and you're lost in solipsism, even if you don't *think* you are, or *want to be*.
You allow society/your environment to dictate to you instead of you setting your sights and dictating to it. Your initial assesment is likely correct and you are cowardly.
Being cowardly isn't the worst thing, being cowardly and refusing to change might be. You can defeat cowardice by realize bravery isn't absence of fear, but the resolve to action in the face of fear.
It will get better, you'll never understand everything, and you shouldn't bite off more than you can chew or expect too much too fast.
Put in the work to improve your lot in life, embrace the struggle, and you will find deeper rewards than the purely intellectual, as well as deeper appreciation for the intellectual rewards.
I can't say much else because it's all relative and personal, but you gotta quit the solipsism man.
Saying "inb4" doesn't exempt you from something. He's a fucking kike.
Holy fuck. Whatever happened to going to a bar with friends. Getting fucking shit faced. Break some shit. Run from the cops. Spend the night in a cardboard box in a ditch. Telling story for 20 years to make life fun.
goals are for losers you faggot. Next time i have any passion ill be sure to bang your mom with said passion. faggot.
Tried. Calvinists have convinced me that I'm actually just dead inside.
I appreciate your words, boomerposter. I know that you're right. The trouble, I suppose, is being surrounded by so many voices that are trying to tell me otherwise.
You're showing your age. The penal system has gotten very good at making sure no one with half a brain has any interest in stepping out of line.
Bump
>Blamed your parents for your existence and failure
The very concept that you are still living there boggles my mind. God I hate you fucking leafs
>The trouble, I suppose, is being surrounded by so many voices that are trying to tell me otherwise.
Yeah that's a bitch m8. Most people are fucking lost just the same and without their routines probably aren't much better off than you. It's a big reason why they don't question much.
You questioning things can give you an advantage, and comes with knowledge that you're at least brave enough to let slip of the guiderails everyone else clings to, but now you've gotta do something with that, or your suffering was pointless.
Have you tried labor?
Working out?
403?
Vote that fucker Socks out before you do anything drastic like offing yourself or going for the IRL FPS high score.
You could also throw your life away and start mining for gold, Jade or crypto currency.
Last time I checked revenue Canada cannot tax you for minerals or crypto.
Also, get your PAL or RPAL...unless you have an aversion to violence and are a pascifist NEET.
doubt you understand jesus or have even tried initating that relationship. Hes waiting for you with open arms.
Grow your own food, im in 403 and trying to remove myself from grocery stores as much as possible as well as any other kind of control system if i can avoid it
>wahh everything is everyone else's fault
Nice blog post, faggot.
Grow up. Read more, get shredded, make money, build something, enjoy the bread and circus; honestly, anything must be preferable to living like a such sad cunt.
Why not? Just as an experience go to confession and pray to God for a sign. It's not as if Jow Forums will get deleted in the interval or you will miss out on the greatest post ever made.
Just larp as a 'kike lover' for a day and see what happens, then go pray to Odin if it suits you
antinatalism is the ultimate blackpill. good on you for seeing the Truth OP
golas are retarted. nothing matters.
How’s your social life? Going to college has helped me with that sort of thing. Makes me feel better, being surrounded by frens
"Be a man!"
Slaps his godson, Johnny Fontaine
You are responding rationally to an irrational world OP. You'll either transcend or an hero
Last post by OP was half an hour ago? Has he necked himself guys? I’m starting to worry?
You need to give yourself purpose. Get a job you can tolerate and put that money to a hobby. Socialize. Meet a girl, have kids. Buy a cabin in the middle of no where and live a self sustaining lifestyle. Life isnt meant to be easy, but completing small goals, victory over challenge, gives life fulfillment.
Op, you're a Leaf and on a site like this, you're rare. We need more Leafs like you. Stop being selfish and be the best Leaf you can be, we all need to keep going, if not to just keep the flame going for the next generation.
1. leave Canada and become American so you can stop being a faggot
2. do whatever the fuck you want
you ever think about what flying might be like? you can build a plane for the cost of a Honda. life is what you make of it, and the pursuit of your own adventure is all the really matters. putting a smile on your own face is all the meaning you really need, everything beyond that is bonus content, fren