Good evening, Jow Forums
Tonight I want to talk about the lottery, tonight's Powerball drawings to be precise. The jackpot has has reached 4th largest ever, which makes me think many of you are playing. As a former winner I want to give you some tips should you win, because you faggots are my only friends. Here it goes
if you win DO NOT
>immediately sign the back of the ticket
Many people will say to do this instantly so no one can steal it from you. Do not do this. I'll explain more soon
>tell ANYONE at all
Not your wife, not your mom, not your kids. Do not utter a word to a single person for any reason than the ones I will list soon.
>try to cash it in the next day
This plays into the other 2 points. you don't want a single person to know you won.
DO
>hide the ticket and immediately get a safe deposit box at a bank
As soon as the banks open, get a box and put the ticket in it
>contact a business finance lawyer
He is one of the only people you will tell about the win. Some states don't allow a winner to claim the prize anonymously. The lawyer will set up a holding company, and trust for you. Then the holding company will claim the prize so your name isn't on the front page of the newspaper.
>take the fucking lump sum
The main reason for this is simply taxes. One thing that we can all be sure of is that taxes go up, as it is lotto taxes can be 50% or higher in some areas. On top of that, by taking the installment plan you get lottery tax and income taxes on it every year, now that 50% can become 80% or more.
>immediately move from your town to anywhere else
You can move back in a couple of years after "doing well on the stock market" or "striking it rich in crypto" or whatever. But anonymity is absolutley key if you win. Even if you don't claim the prize under your name, the location the ticket was sold at becomes public information, and someone will likely at least guess that you won. Roumors alone will cause problems for you if suddenly have a nicer car or
Cont:
Powerball
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youtube.com
youtube.com
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Start buying nice things.
>what to do with the money
Don't just keep it all in your bank account. Invest a very large sum into bonds and mutual funds. This keeps you from burning through it too fast, and helps it make you more money
I know there was more I wanted to add to this, but now I'm drawing a blank. I won't say exactly how much I won because I made the mistake of claiming it under my own name, which is now public, but I will say it was 9 digits, and I still a fuck ton of it.
>what did you do with the money, user?
Everyone always asks that so I'll get it out of the way now. I bought pretty much 1/2 of a mountain and built a hyper /comfy/ cabin and barn. I now live here with a half a dozen dogs, a couple horses and a bunch of livestock. I spend most of my time shitposting, tending to my garden, and enjoying my mountain with my dogs and a horse. The money has only been a hindrance for dating too. It takes a 2 second google search to find out I won, it only takes 2-3 dates before girls start asking how much money I have.
If by some miracle any of you win, and want anymore tips or anything you can reach me here.
[email protected]
>inb4 slide thread
>inb4 1 post by this ID
I'll check on the thread throughout the night, but I mostly just wanted to get this info out there to try and help any potential winners amongst us.
Faggot
The lottery is just the national stupid tax
I should of played the powerball today
YES YES PUT IT IN A BANK GOYS I MEAN GUYS.
you think you're gonna win don't you, and you made this post cause you CAN'T contian your excitement.
you aren't gonna win. keep baggin them groceries wagecuck
My name is Cletus and I spent $450.00 dollars on tickets
this thread sucks heres some random webms
What is this fucking shit?
Literally who gives a fuck, besides someone that can't do basic math?
What niggerism is this?
That poor dad. Yeah he let his wife raise a degenerate but good lord you can just see his soul leaving his body.
Do you regret winning?
>paying insane taxes foe lottery winning
What is this kvetch magic?
I’m going to use my winnings to bus all the LA homeless to rural parts of Texas and open like 10 holocaust museums
i think its a big scam but of course i had to get some tickets. wish me luck guys!
>The lottery is just the national stupid tax
Until you win
>if you win DO NOT
>>immediately sign the back of the ticket
>Many people will say to do this instantly so no one can steal it from you. Do not do this. I'll explain more soon
>I know there was more I wanted to add to this
Fuck you I played too, wish me luck
I was thinking of setting up a charitable fund that would give grants for home down payments to blacks and browns who move into huwhite communities.
Fuck you for this webm, I couldnt last long at all even though snackbar beheadings and gore doesnt phaze me.
Who cares if people know you won, whats the big deal? They are going to ask for money? Ill literally LOL in their face. Kidnap me? Fucking bring it on bitches I dont live in the ghetto
i asked first sucka. all the good luck wishes go to meh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jk good luck user
> until
Thanks user, if I win ill throw you a cool mill
>No one ever wins
>Who cares if people know you won, whats the big deal? They are going to ask for money? Ill literally LOL in their face.
...even if it's your family and friends? The knowledge that someone has money changes people.
Then again, people can find out with a trust, too.
Quick rundown?
I'm buying a ticket just for potential keks of winning burger lotto
its a long shot but its a only a few bucks so why not
I would buy Jow Forums and just start banning all idiots until I was the only one posting
If my friends started asking for money I obviously need new friends so yes, same with family, id take care of my parents anyway but if my aunts or cousins came out of the woodwork obviously they can fuck off. What fun is being super rich if you arent going to buy nice things? May as well stay broke if you are gonna just keep it in the bank
srry user. maybe this one will ease your mind
>Start buying nice things.
Classic European formula of the aristocracy was
1/3 land
1/3 precious metals
1/3 fine art
Personally I'd go heavier on the land
1/4 on precious metals
and the final 1/4th a mix of valuable objects that will appreciate or at least hold value over time (classic cars, real fine art, good tools, etc.)
how do i win?
What?
QRD of what? 5zOrzeZg sez: "it's a waste until you win"
kOd7/ub9 (me) says, "until", because 5zOrzeZg made it sounds like it's a certainty that he'd win, and I question that certainty. He replies, that /someone/ will win.
I know it's heavy discourse full of abstractions piled high, but, try to keep up willya?
>should of
Public school attendee detected
Problem is it's not just people you even vaguely know coming to ask you. Everyone, EVERYONE, wants a piece. Charities, investors, fucking kickstarter faggots all come hitting you up for money in every way possible. You basically need to recreate your entire online "persona" (i.e. email, fb if you use it, etc) in order to even have a chance to get away from it all. And just throw your phone away for the next couple years
i'm pretty sure you just confused him more
There is literally zero reason to invest any money if you actually won the jackpot. Jew financial advisors just say that so they get to play with your money. Just put it all in a bank account and you should be fine. If you think that you are too much of a nigger and fear that you will blow through your winning then consider the annuity option.
Guys remember if you win a large sum of money, e-mail op, some random stranger on the internet on an user board to let him know.. hell, he will even look after your ticket for you if you mail it to him.
This is worse than an Indian scammer...
I thought you were implying that no one ever really wins, which I have heard elsewhere, but never really looked into.
One of the weirder conspiracies surrounding the lottery. That and "it's only a method of catching time travelers".
>I've spent entirely too much time here
Probably :)
>(i.e. email, fb if you use it, etc)
I dont use social media anyway but if I won id make one just for my own entertainment of people begging for money. Id get a new number and make sure I pay those jews at verizion extra money to not list my number.
oh shit you're serious
go you dude
Came here to post this
>I dont use social media anyway but if I won id make one just for my own entertainment of people begging for money.
I'd just shitpost about it on Youtube.
All because the odds are extremely retarded does not mean you need to be a time traveler to win. The reason these pots get so high in value is because the odds are retarded but ill spend 2 dollars for the fantasy
I really wonder if you can do that with Verizon. I mean at some point there's gotta be enough money that they'll do anything you ask them to do. Hell they'd probably set up your own personal 5g tower just for you if you had the money.
bank CDs are really low interest but putting money into some of those wouldnt hurt. no risk of losing money on them
OP, u stole this all from arfcom
Solid agree. It's fun to think about shit you'll never have sometimes.
Not a bad idea, some kid does that by buying new cars every week with the money his dad made from the 2008 crash, that little faggot had stacks of cash in the trunk of one of his cars. I wouldn't go that far into faggot though
I was supposed to win but i got there to late tonight. I had a feeling that i was gonna win like ive never had before and all these signs about the lottery were showing up. after i got out of the shower i got this strong intuition that i should leave right now. but i thought nahhh ill leave when i planned to at 9. when i got there he started fooling with the machine then told me i got there too late. I kept thinking over and over again after i decided to leave later rather than sooner "what if i jinxed myself?" I didn't even get a ticket and now this fucking thread showed up.
In all seriousness though i'm at least partially convinced that i would've won if i left when i knew i should.
The drawing is going on right this second btw
You can pay phone companies to keep your number private, its nothing new, I think its only a few bucks a month
So...what's Jow Forums gonna do with the money if they win?
After I set up the holding corporation and all that, I intend to breed a new breed of dogs. Quarter rott, quarter GSD, half Black lab. The ideal result will look like a Black lab, merely 1.5 times the size, standing 30" at the withers and weighing 130 lbs, and moving with the speed of a cyclone and the strength of a bulldozer.
I intend to call the type "the American Buford", to carry on the name of the childhood who inspired me towards this goal. Shouldn't be too hard to finance, will only take a few million.
The ticket not the money you fool. In a safety deposit box
i might do this now. I've been getting a ton of spam calls lately.
*the childhood dog I owned
> (OP)
>Everyone always asks that so I'll get it out of the way now. I bought pretty much 1/2 of a mountain and built a hyper /comfy/ cabin and barn. I now live here with a half a dozen dogs, a couple horses and a bunch of livestock. I spend most of my time shitposting, tending to my garden, and enjoying my mountain with my dogs and a horse.
Sounds comfy af. This is what the wife and I agreed we would do and are already trying to do on a small scale on our salaries
>>contact a business finance lawyer
> the holding company will claim the prize
Who is listed as the owner of the holding company? The lawyer? How do you know that the lawyer won't run off with your money?
sometimes i dont check my tickets. i just wait to see if i hear in the news that the winning ticket was bought from the gas station i bought the ticket at
Nifty.
Since this is full larp; I'd buy a cabin and some land out in the middle of nowhere, build one of those bigass "Garage Mahals", fill it with a few exotics/muscle cars, get a helicopter and go to school and learn to fly it for keks.
Thats what I do, im waiting for the day its announced it was sold where I bought mine, checking my ticket and seeing it was not me, then killing myself knowing ill never get closer than that
>Everyone always asks that
I thought you didn't tell people you won
Someone won from the idiot tax?
Corrupt lawyers exist and weren't there some unfortunate lottery winners that got screwed over by the lawyer they hired?
If you want to hire a lawyer, probably have to hire the same kind of lawyer that works for Bill Gates, etc
Or just fuck it and cash your ticket, dont give it to some jew lawyer who promises to give you it back. People will know you won anyway unless you dont plan on buying nice cars and houses
Now every tweaker who knew you in grade school or high school is going to kidnap your parents and force you to gibs them some of the loot.
If I win I’ll buy Jow Forums.
HOLY SHIT I WON!
I'd put some in an offshore LLC.
Then buy a large island
Set it up with power, cell phone service and internet
Setup 2nd system with hidden cameras and password protected wireless systems
Invite Jow Forums Jow Forums Jow Forums /a/ /out/ and /b/ to live there to build the society
Bring raw materials
Give it 6 months
Cut the power, cell tower & internet.
Sell live feed on website for $5/mo.
wrong all wrong. you cash it next day and refuse to pay taxes saying you will pay them come tax time and if asked why you say you putting the money into investment options so you can flip all of it and if the government doesnt like it they can suck a dick because its your right as a american citizen to refuse and pay come tax time
then skip town. get on a plane and go to a country where your people are as common as sand and buy some one elses id from them with out of pocket cash. 10k is more than enough people will hand it to you. then tranfer the money in your bank account to a paypal account and from there to another bank account in another country and so on and so forth. make a fucking kickstarter with the name on the id and set up a pay pall for that kickstarter and dump the money in. then get some plastic surgery. not a insane amount just a little. square up that jaw some and have your eye color changed with lasers. if your anything but blue go blue and if your blue go green and if your s shit skin dont bother white people cant tell the difference between a paki and a beaner half the time. then go to another country and change your name after laying low for a year and living in random places like bed and breakfast type joints or places for rent. pay in cash. live like there are people who want to kill you for a year . then come back to america with a new identity
Thats when I pull a mel gibson and offer one million dollars to who ever brings me their heads. In all seriousness my parents will obviously be moving out at that point into another state.
You can see the pain in the dad's eyes.
bullshit post ticket
It will just end with Jow Forums and Jow Forums executing the others, especially those faggots from /a/ and /b/
Number one recommended advice is to go take a vacation after you win or move some place new
Sounds like you have a comfy life. I’m happy for you user. If I won I think I would hire mercenaries and start shit between countries. Basically be like the George Soros of Jow Forums. Which is why I don’t play. I don’t think millions upon millions in a windfall would do good things for me.
This. It's $2 and it's fun to think what if. I've spent more on stupider shit.
Why not sign the ticket immediately?
I forgot my webm. It just makes me laugh. It’s not related.
I checked the website and the winning ticket was bought at the same gas station I bought mine. I got excited/nervous, checked my ticket. Not even fuckin close. Feels bad.
is that a bomb?
delete this immediately
what state was it in
>The money has only been a hindrance for dating too. It takes a 2 second google search to find out I won, it only takes 2-3 dates before girls start asking how much money I have.
have you tried not buying half a fucking mountain to live in?
the chances of winning are slim as fuck but your concern is appreciated bro.
Thank you for this thread OP. I was already aware of a lot of this, but if you read this I have a question to ask. How come you only got in contact with one business finance lawyer? I'd be paranoid and get a lawyer to watch the other lawyer and another to watch them both.
fake and gay
>Don't sign the ticket
>Let the bank hold onto it for you :^)
i didnt win fml
:(
Everyone keeps talking about cabins. Sounds like something else ok
>divvy up 20-25 million for family and friends
>tithe to the Catholic Church once I become Catholic
>vacation around the US for a bit and probably do some degenerate sex tourism to get it all out of my system
>come back home, get a high rise condo, go to school, get a personal trainer, a cook and work on myself
>once i'm comfortable with myself I'll look for a girlfriend/ wife
>once Israel is destroyed i'm going to do some philanthropic work in Palestine and Syria and get a home in Jerusalem since I'm of Palestinian origin. I want to ultimately live in my ancestral homeland and have a large family
I'm going to win so I greatly appreciate you taking the time to point me in the right direction. Gonna make everything go much smoother. Thanks!