GIOYC

thanks fren

I don't love bdsm at all and fuck you. Really, fuck you. I didn't hurt anyone.

You're exploring many themes. Guilt, morals, religion. But most humans have empathy. They would not harm you unless you harmed them, and would feel bad if they did something others would not like if those were innocent, like stepping on someone's foot. If the guy you stepped on did you anything wrong earlier, then you justify it by saying it.

But from a law-perspective you can't justify killing others for the sake of it because "father punched me a lot"; he will justify it by saying his dad did it again, his dad says it's society's fault and it goes on for infinity.

>do actions need to be justified?
Some religions say that. You have free will, though, so you don't need an answer.

I will say this again. All philosophy is just semantics.

Everyday you are on your deathbed Grandpa you are the most important person in the world to me.

Most people take a turn for the worst in your situation, but you took a turn for the better.

This Easter when all the family is gathered I will make sure to say the blessing in your name cause I know everybody else will forget.

You are an absolute Hero.

Thank you for defeating the Soviet Union for us

youtube.com/watch?v=9pQo9OQlIB8

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If they didn't get consent, it was rape. Are you saying this person inflicted pain without consent?

Just remember, everyone killed in war was someone's beloved son fooled by people.

Okay, I'm pissed off again. I'm out.

One of the last things I remember of my grandfather before he started declining mentally is the disappointment as he introduced me to extended family that I hadn't met since I was small at my grandmother's funeral.

I've pulled things together a bit since then but he's too far gone...

I just realized Ive wanted to die for over half the time I've been alive.

I guess its gotten better but its also gotten alot worse than I ever could have expected.

I've been looking at the bigger picture, hoping for a balance to come, but it seems to be harder to find than I ever anticipated. Still I keep searching.

My grandfather is sharp as a whip still. He's seen war in korea, yemen, vietnam, and Iran

He is strong until the end and the entire family is pulling behind him, because even though he has had his asshole moments in life he was always there for us and kept our family as together as it could be.

He never hid the skeleton's in his closet and we are not disappointed, because even though he may have done some wrong things like leaving our blood grandmother- he made amends and meant it.

In my lifetime he has just been nothing, but supportive and free to give advice

I take mostly after him too

My head hurts and I’m disappointed.

Yes, it's true. Sort of. If you didn't want to fight you got punished. There is a saying that every people deserve their leader, although I think that sounds too generalized, I don't believe in that, but for fuck's sake's. They could have surrounded earlier.

But this doesn't justify most war crimes, and who perpetrated that? Germans nowadays play this card that it was only the SS-groups who did shit, but they were few compared to the whole of Wehrmacht who completely openly tortured people east, captives or civilians.

I legit hope my great-grandfather pray'n'sprayed everything he saw in Berlin with an auto. It sounds immature, but fuck those Germans.

Every single time you point a finger at me, it comes back on you. Go to hell.

Be glad he's coherent till the end. It's a blessing.

All you want is conflict, war, hatred and rape. Fuck you.

The saying's "every time you point a finger at someone, three are pointing right back at you.

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I have a lot of apprehension about moving away from where I've spent the majority of my adult life. I'd like to leave, but the thought of forming a new life for myself terrifies me. I won't be alone, family will be near, but forming new friendships, professional networks, and stabilizing emotionally, socially, and financially are not my strong suit.

There is little hope for me to find someone again. I was fucked over too many times. I cant even make friends anymore because I think anyone will try to hurt me.
All I want is someone to come home to and love. I guess I'm no longer capable.

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I have no idea why you're shutting me out. I know you're doing this to everyone and I hope it isn't personal, but I can only take so much of this before I move on. Spending your free time and limited energy on someone who doesn't appreciate isn't fun.

Get a job you lazy bum, mum's put more effort into getting a fucking job than you, you cunt

What actually happens at parties? I don't mean birthday parties, I mean parties within the scale between friends of adult age doing a party house and people of adult age going to fucking around at clubs.

I don't get it. It always seemed daft to me.
Same with concerts.
I know this sounds autistic as fuck, but I would rather sit around doing DnD or improv than going mindless at some dumb party cuz than at least you're doing something creative and fun instead of yelling and snorting coke just so you can yell more and fuck dumb women who will later regret it.
That's not to mention the fact that 95% of people all have a terrible and easy sense of humor that, I imagine, is awkwardly manifested at parties when people are acting like retards from alcohol consumption.

The entire concept of partying or clubbing is why I don't have a gf because I never understood whether I was missing something...
Okay I'm rambling now.
But basically, fuck 90% of people and that 100% of people that attend... what am I talking about... why don't I have friends...

I just guess you reply to the more edgyesque post here but I could be wrong. I don't know if you're sarcastic, it doesn't play out well when we're all user and with the amount of Nazis here.

To not want to empty a PPSH-mag into a guy whose "clique" gave you scurvy, shrapnel wounds that never got removed out, or loosing a few fingers, is just idiotic. Not to mention smart in case the guy is a fanatic and has a nade.

Some of my happiest moments in life was when I did not have any conflicts.

You must think me a monster

I just know that there are 3 billion + people on this planet. Most want what you say. I only want to tell you I understand the darkness and want to protect you from it.

There are a lot of evil people on this planet. Many, many people profit off of evil.

Just because I understand the world for what it is doesn't make me evil.

I want exactly what you want, but I am looking at the big picture.

I wish you would understand that I fight for good- really.

I wish you would appreciate a man that stands up for good for his worth, but peace has spoiled you

>fuck 90% of people and that 100% of people that attend
Well fuck you too for just enjoying my life and supporting my favorite bands. Damn. No wonder you don't have a girlfriend. You're a self-centered asshole.

I wish I was young enough to be "dumb", but I'm 30 now and even though I still am dumb with women because of lack of experience, its not expected now.
Now my brain slowly degrades. Human beings like intelligence? IQ slips with age.

Oh god I need to stop talking like this.

It must be the weed. Yeah I'm just rambling on weed. I'm okay. I don't need a new therapist after I stop seeing this one I just need to focus.

Okay so I'm off to forget I ever made these posts.

Dreams are incompatible with reality.

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I wasn't like this before and I'm not like this always. So far only Jow Forums sees this. Its embellished by anonymity. I need to quit doing this because its not healthy to think about these things this way. I need to control myself better.

Belle

Luv you too

-M (your Joe)

I'm not interesting enough to have friends. It's my fault. Now I lack the aptitude to work and change that anymore. People look at point at me like I'm an animal now. But now I feel like I'm becoming one. I can hardly take care of myself anymore. I pray that God takes me away before I lose the dignity to know I shouldn't be like this. Instead I'm slowly dying by losing my mind. I'm going to die without the ability to even understand that I'm a failure. The state can't help what it's citizens do not want. This is my fault for being what I am. I came here to write this so other people can see it and know because nobody would hear it unless it was their job before I die but I don't remember why I'm supposed to do this. Today I forgot my name. i feel sad. my heart hurts. when will this just end I want it to stop. make me be anything again something really bad is happening male i stop
but it won't

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Just pretend that a kid cutting off his cock is a good thing. It's not hard

There are a lot more than 3 billion on the planet. I am not stupid and I'm not spoiled. I don't need to see what you see to see the truth. Thanks for the sentiment but no thank you.

Complainers always gotta ruin my day

Then don't reply to my post. It's just that simple.

In the end I know I got some of the limelight because the older generations are looking to see who is going to lead the younger generations cause the younger generations are so fucking shit that they'll take anyone with promise.

I just happen to be one of those people so I gotta carry this weight

youtube.com/watch?v=WKnVaDwUg5s

Just because you have the audacity to give yourself the last word doesn't make you any less of an ass cause your substance is weak

I appreciate good men and I know what evil exists. I wish I didn't but I do. I know that a person must protect their safety but that's really as far as it goes.

You don't even know how many people are on the planet you live on so kindly fuck off.

Here's your Pulitzer

I'm going to bed. If you're a psychic, send me stuff to do in my dreams (preferably fending off zombies or having a mecha fight) so I don't have a boring sleep.

I never realized how much the anime Fruits Baskets influenced my personality when growing up until now. I'm watching the remake and I've found a lot of my life mottos popping up left and right...
Oh boy.

Did you just stalk me?

Oh god

I watched Fruit's Basket growing up.

I also watched Rumbling Hearts too so that might balance it all out

I'll let you have the last insult. Go ahead hot-shot, you need much more than I do.

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>Rumbling Hearts
Isn't that that coma anime?

Is that a recognizable face?

I wouldn't know.

thanks

yeah, the cheating was soap opera cheating and sex scenes were absolutely shocking to my 13 year old sensibilities

Christ this girl is driving me insane. Black and white

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youtube.com/watch?v=JQBfntE-yU4
He took down his most popular video but this is close enough.

Oh yeah, I don't think I made it passed the first episode lol.
I think little me thought it was Card Captor because of that one girl with the brown hair.

How do you guys feel knowing you'll always be okay at something but never the best?

For example, people who are born gifted with genius intelligence or superior genetics. certainly not me. when i see those people gifted like that able to do such incredible things with ease, it hurts my self-esteem. i feel like even if i spent my life trying to be like those people, i'll never catch up or be able to do the incredible things they do like go into space or be the best at a certain field. not for fame or fortune, but simply for the excitement of discovering new things and being a pioneer. I don't want to be doing the same thing over and over just because i'm not as smart as them.

maybe if i work my ass off and kiss family and friends goodbye i can, but idk. it just frustrates me.

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I'm so sorry. I guess you just don't want to see me again. I wish I could tell you how I feel that day.

I know I closed the fridge door, in fact, I remember closing it tight and double checking. Why is that I feel this overwhelming paranoia or whatever that I have the need to check. The upside to this is that I am too lazy.

Maybe we'll see each other today

I will fall in love with you all over again but you won't know it.

Please start to show it to them.
My ex did that to me and by the time they told me they loved me I finally moved on.
Felt really bad.

So happy for you!

If someone purposely ignores you, is it worth it to keep caring about them? Is it stupid?

OH MY GOD.. I ask you 1 time if you'd ever smack my butt and all the sudden I love bdsm? Did I ever tell you about my ropes, chains, leather and handcuffs collection? Oh yeah that's right NO because it doesn't fucking exist. You overthink everything. Didn't nobody tell you to look that shit up. I hadn't even done no shit like that ffs stop overthinking everything. I dont even watch that kind of porn, holy shit dude. You made a really big ASS atta U n ME

You shouldn't care.

You truly are the most beautiful, smart, creative and cutest girl I have ever seen. I love you.

Aww, that's so sweet.

Deep inside I still wish that she cared.

Maybe you upset them. Otherwise I wouldn't take it personal or be upset.

They might just be shy. Do they ignore you when you're alone with them? Or do they light up?

Don't lie to yourself. If she ignores you, she doesn't want you in her life.

Not always true! I'm ignoring a guy because another guy is harassing me at work. But I really like the first guy! It's just really hard to talk to him without rumors and gossip because of this other dude.
Try to spend some time with her alone and see how she acts.

I tried to hit on a girl that was working while I guard around and it ended up blowing up in my face.

I guess it is good to know that females consider this harassment- so I will just leave her alone now.

I don't think anyone gives two shits about me besides the boys

Do you constantly talk about sex with her? Stalk her and talk about how what she's doing outside of work? Who she's talking to other than you, and if she's fucking them? Trying to get her to fuck them?
I think you had a jerky reaction to my comment. I don't think of guys hitting on me as harassment. But if I'm avoiding them and all they do is stalk me and talk about sex then yeah, I consider it harassment.

I'm not happy
I had concerns way back before we started about how you would love me. There's been a lot of improvement but a lot has also stayed the same. You told me you would make up for the lack of intimacy and sex with cooking and doting, but I can count the times you've cooked these past six months in one hand and the doting is nonexistent. The complete lack of sexuality in our relationship is also depressing. I stopped wanting you the last time we did it a few weeks ago once I realized how boring it was to be with you. If I need to look at porn to get off while we're doing it, there's seriously something wrong. It doesn't help you're never "in the mood."
You don't want me physically and you never make me feel good about myself. You only like to smell my clothes and make suggestions about how I should improve myself. It makes me think there's nothing good about myself.

I don't feel happy. I'm bored being with you. The small happiness I get is just from your company and that doesn't last because you never pay attention to me. You're always absorbed by the TV or by the computer. You're lazy and rarely want to go out.
I know it's not your fault that you dislike intimacy and sex, but I hate this. I don't want to feel this way. I want to run away from you and my feelings but I know I can't because life is cruel like that.
I won't tell you any of this because you'd probably just threaten to kill yourself again and I'd have to convince you and me that you're fine and everything is fine when it's really not.

No, I bought her chocolates twice though

After 6 years of sleep issues, namely being that I cannot fall asleep without great effort, and then I will never sleep in intervals longer than 2 hours, I diagnosed myself as fucked up and saw a real doctor and got myself some sweet ambien.
"Now user, it's easy to get addicted to so only use it when you have a bad night ok?"
>Be me,
>have 5 bad nights every night

Poppin this low level shit like candy and it's been doing goood. It s starting to kick in which is why my posts may be totally illegible. But I already eel it, I need moar and more to get that Mike Tyson punch out to send me into tjhe series of bizzarre ass REM cycle dreams that terrorize my waking hours.

Anyway, I;m a big blowing babby in the drug word. How much/how hard is it to find ambien outside my script?

After not being able to seep properly for 8 years. Ambien isn't really the drug, SLEEP is the drug. Goddamn solid, uninterruped, seep is better than sex. Its better than food. It's better than drugs. Blanking out for 8 hours at a time is a coveted skill.

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i hate life

It's a good life

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Im a lazy loser. I dont think its that good tbhonest

Well now I know you don't like me anymore. That's great. I don't feel bad actually since I found peace in my heart.

6 YEARS

You just kept too much stuff from me, Ten. I showed you who I really was and you didn't because you were ashamed and so you hid your monsters from me.. in turn they grew and grew and grew and now they've overpowered you. I'm sorry for being honest (?) I guess... the truth is a sword. But I swear to God I never meant to hurt or fuck with you. I don't like this at all. I hate it that you're in pain. I hate it that you feel lost and hopeless. Even after you left me because you're vain and you wanted more and you wanted better, I don't think any less of you. I wish I was the perfect package for you. We could of ruled the world together.. or destroyed it who knows

Does she know? If not, I'm sure she'd love to.

Shit was in its infantcy around the end of high school. Had difficulty sleeping, but would usually sleep through the night once I did fall asleep.
then college ruined every aspect of my life and destroyed any hopes and dreams I had left, sent me into a spiral of suicidal depression and anxiety that made the idea of sleeping laughable. So for about 5-5.5 years I was going on 3-5 hours a night zombing my way through my last few classes. Graduated in december (still no job kek) and moved to my parents new home, been here for 1 year now. 99% of that year has been like, I take 4 hours just to get my brain to shut the fuck up long enough to maybe sleep, then wake 2 hours after that, repeat that process again, wake up 2 hours later, etc.
Then its kind of evolved into once I go down I'm good, I'll still wake up every couple hours but I'll go back to sleep immediately.

I have an issue with shitting too much since some years

I know you can do better, I'm simply trying to keep you so distracted with being happy that you might never notice.

I'm unironically open about my Mommy kink with my date/friend/ w benefits due to both parents who are severely abusive and i still live with and cant move out and i think it creeps her out

Celiac? Lactose intolerance? Go to a GI specialist.

I'm mixing Ambien and Alcohol every nigh to numb all the pain I am in.

I'm so fucking numb and every night I go to bed I think- well this might really be the end.

I guess I really am weak and everybody else is strong.

Tonight is no exception. I wanna wake up tomorrow, but I'm just so fucking done.

I really wish I had a girl in my life to keep me stable, but I don't and wish I could just not wake up the next day to be honest cause everybody gives me shit everyday and I try to be strong, but every day is so fucking much when you are in the hole I am in.

Guess he doesn't like me or he would have texted by now. Feel stupid for giving him my number.
I should just quit and focus on programming instead of this dead end job. All it's doing is giving me tons of stress and taking up more time than the paycheck warrants. I haven't even used the healthcare benefits because I'm too exhausted.

Are you a gay guy?

I am a woman.

Fuck man this hits home. Not specifically Ambien but I know this exact feeling and have lived it far too many moons.

I don’t really have much advice to offer except than when you are in this feelstate it is terrible and is near impossible to shake. To “force” when you feel that way, it is like you are being dragged and you are clawing away with all your might. When you are in a hopeful and optimistic mindset you can climb out, I swear. In order to flip your feelstate, I don’t know how to, but you know it when you feel hopeful, and that is precisely when you are at your most powerful for kicking your addiction.
Those who are dragged into the underworld are powerless against the pull of it; you can only leave the underworld by entering on purpose.

If you can do minor things to help flip your state, and those things cascade into something greater, it can launch you into that state. Do something small that you’ll feel proud of, not ashamed of, and know this; the shame you feel, you are forgiven brother. Pain fucking sucks, carrying this pain, it’s okay and I’m here feelin this with you