How do I learn to be more confident with women?

How do I learn to be more confident with women?

I've been working on my looks for some time now, and I've gotten to the point where I'm not immediately rejected due to my apparance. Now the problem is mostly my inconfident demeanor. I don't really have approach anxiety or anything, but I simply find it difficult to act naturally with a woman.

I've watched some RSD videos (which are basically PUA guides) online and I feel like there is some value to them. What would you suggest for me to try? Is it just a matter of learning by experience?

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You need to like yourself to be liked by women.

I understand the biggest factor is inner happiness. This has definitely imporved along my progress on my looks.

That said, I am asking whether there could be some conscious actions I could take to help my chances further.

PS. It kills me when I think about how I managed to get two cute girls to dance with me on separate occasions yesterday, but I botched both of them with my autism. What was most fascinating was how I managed to initiate the second occasion with pure primal energy: the right song just started playing and I had a immense burst of confidence, and voila, I have the girl with me. It didn't take long for the song to change and her interest to wither away. I feel like I am really close to figuring out the path to success.

>I feel like I am really close to figuring out the path to success.

If you feel that, you are not close. Women aren't a math problem. You got to dance because you were having fun and you actually tried. That's the whole trick. Trying and trying.

Conscious actions you could take are just that, trying.

>You got to dance because you were having fun and you actually tried. That's the whole trick. Trying and trying.
This sounds a bit contradictory. Do I just forget my end goal and try to enjoy the moment, or should I purposefully pursue the situations where I might succeed? The former probably helps with cultivating the right energy, while the latter gives a statistical advantage.

>This sounds a bit contradictory.

What's contradictory? The idea that having fun makes you fun to be around? It should be obvious.

Stop watching that guys videos. He will destroy your faith in the female gender by targeting sluts, almost exclusively.

Actually my faith has pretty much been destroyed by my personal experiences already. I am almost convinced by now that females do not understand or care about concepts of honesty or integrity. This doesn't even bother me anymore because I've simply accepted this reality.

>I am almost convinced by now that females do not understand or care about concepts of honesty or integrity.

How are you going to enjoy being with a woman if you feel so much hate towards them?

The problem is really just that my version of having fun is not attractive. The way I let go that is enjoyable for me makes me laughable. I've noticed that some restraint needs to be applied to have a chance.

I'm still able to enjoy the physical sensations of kissing and sex. I am not looking to commit to a woman at the moment.

>The problem is really just that my version of having fun is not attractive.

What's your version of fun?

Well 99% of females are whores

Buy a body pillow, that's how you are treating women anyway. Then you wonder why they don't like hanging out with you.

Erratic dancing and loud singing. The sheer intensity at which I would ideally party on is simply on another level to that of other people. I think it has to do with the way a club environment overstimulates my autistic mind. Thankfully this is an overcomable problem and I am getting better at calibrating my demeanor to the environment.

Should I just give the whores cash?

>Then you wonder why they don't like hanging out with you.
Funnily enough, there is absolutely no correlation (reverse or otherwise) with my thoughts on women and their attraction towards me. I am seeing constant improvement in my success with women, and never have my inner thoughts about them conflicted with the attraction I am able to cultivate with flirtation. I grew up thinking very positively of girls, without enjoying any attention from their part. Attraction is determined by completely different factors.

>The sheer intensity at which I would ideally party on is simply on another level to that of other people.

See, that empty arrogance is not helping you. "Other people aren't at my level" is a shitty way to have fun. Go to a punk or metal concert and engage in moshing, if that's what you want. BUt I bet you'll have an excuse to avoid doing that even though it's exactly what you say you want.

> Should I just give the whores cash?

You are missing the point. Picking girls up requires you to engage as people. Picking up prostitutes is only about having money, but that's not what you want.

>"Other people aren't at my level" is a shitty way to have fun.
I did not imply superiority.

>Attraction is determined by completely different factors.

Do women like spending time with you?

Sometimes. Definitely more now than they did before.

No, you just implied that everyone else is doing thigs too differently for you. You don't feel close to others.

Why don't you go to a place where dancing erratically and yelling loudly is expected? As I said, there are are places for that. You are just going to the wrong clubs.

Gotten laid yet?

Came with age for me.

Couple of times, yes. Look, I have to alterior motives to speak or think lowly of women. I have been blunt in this thread simply to help the discussion forward. I don't _want_ to think what I think of women, I simply _do_ because my experiences support those thoughts.

And what changed in you? Why are you successful now when you hate them?

just take a shower bro

What changed is I improved in looks, and in confidence as a result.

Do you have a friend with benefits?

No. I assume you'll say this is a result of my thoughts on women.

>I assume you'll say this is a result of my thoughts on women.

I mean, you are telling me women like how you look and you get a one-night stand, but you can't keep a relationship going, even a casual one.

So... you kinda prove my point. Women don't like being with you, they like jumping on a dick and then being done with the guy that owns it.

I'm not trying to build a relationship. Look, if it's the case that I am wrong about women, then time and experience will fix my perception.

not OP, but how do i like myself when

>33 year old khv
>manlet and 3/10
>have no social skills and friends (so no social life, can't get a good job)
>no money and live with parents
>nothing interesting about me
>behind everyone else at my age

>I'm not trying to build a relationship.

Great, because your method won't work for that.

And you don't have to change it, just trying to help you understand why people don't enjoy spending time with you if you hate them.

Well, you need to learn that looks are not everything and you need to build some self-esteem.

Hating on yourself won't help you, so why spend time doing that?

it's hard to build self-esteem when i have no redeeming qualities

nothing about me is good

>nothing about me is good

Then do something good. If you decide to be the same person everyday, then you don't get to complain. It's your choice at this point.

i'm trying to change myself. always trying to learn new things. looking into programming and finance to get a better job. trying new hobbies.

but progress is really slow, i'm already 33. seems like things will never get better

How long have you been trying to change? What have you achieved so far?

i've been taking salsa dance classes, once a week for about a year. i'd say i'm still beginner level
went to one actual social event, but only danced with one person

been taking random programming and finance related MOOCs and completed them

that's really it tbqh

So, a year is all the effort you've put into it. And you still got to dance with someone. You completed a couple courses, too.

What's the goal here? Meeting girls? You did and danced with one. Learning skills? You did, now it's time to put them to work.

>I've been taking salsa dance classes for a year and my life hasn't changed yet!:(

Dude stfu. If you want to change, make every aspect of your life centered around self improvement. Cut out all the bullshit addictions that are holding you back. Do all the things you know you should be doing, but aren't. Lean into your fears and overcome them. If you aren't doing everything you can, you have no right to complain. Self development isn't some hobby you do for an hour a week, it's the fundamental purpose of our lives.

bump