Get it off your chest

Because I just moved and have no job yet.

I’m a classical musician but I teach in a rural community. Hence the “thinking I’m gay” thing. I play clarinet.

I can’t enjoy my life because of how isolated I am from everything.

Why do people who accuse the other of having Borderline Personality Disorder often have it themselves?
What led me on creating this post was: I was having some flashbacks about this certain person and he always makes me feel guilty sometimes and I cringe about myself but then I realize how much of an ass he was and much more than me and I feel, while I admit I didn't handle the correspondence like a better person (ignore and/or block instead of associating and bathing in shit), I actually while shit wasn't the one with the cluster B personality disorder. I am not like r9k or a seething retard and blame it on a specific gender I rather blame it on people who project and internalize. *vents some more*
Redpill me on cluster B personality disorders in general though, and tell me if it is a tactic they use.
>mfw he had all of the red flags in pic related and called ME a bpd
Funny thing is he is also a bigger attention whore than me, an avid regular on here meanwhile this is my max 4th post EVER and I knew of this board's existence for a very long time.

Every time I think I have reached my lowest it turns out I feel even worse some time later. I'm worried this might mean I will inevitably kill myself some day. I also don't think I can be helped, I'm a lost cause when it comes to depression.

Sorry forgot pic. I try not to vent a lot and stick to the question, don't want to get bombarded with angry messages.

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For the first question, it could be projecting their own image onto another (no u!), or it could be them recognizing patterns they are familiar with in themselves (takes one to know one), or it could be a baseless label intended to insult you through demeaning generalization without grasping the entire content of your being/character.

What aspect of the interaction between you two are you hung up on? I think the main issue to solve is figuring out exactly what irked you and why, followed by soothing catharsis and more memeposting.

I was excited when it came out but after the initial reaction, I kinda forgot about it.
There was a game which was just barely similar to NMS in Roblox which I did play a lot as a kid where there were like 7 planets and you could build a space ship and fight other players in space so I was excited when I heard I could do that again but in a game made by someone who actually knew how to make a game because the Roblox one was kinda poorly designed. I felt pretty bad that NMS wasn't multiplayer though because one aspect of the Roblox game was trying to convince people to join your team and fight in your armada which was a whole lot of fun.
I also followed its development after some of the updates but it feels a bit too-- well, I don't know. I feel as though I'd get bored quickly playing it since upgrading your ship takes a long time (or maybe the livestreamer I was watching was just bad at the game) and I like cheesing things as a stress reliever. I did just look it up and they've been planning a multiplayer update since last year and also since March this year so maybe I'll get it. A few game sequels are coming out this year that I was already planning on getting so it better be FUCKING GOOD.
I did used to play another similar game called Shores of Hazeron? or something but desu I don't really play video games much anymore.

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Orcas are cute!
Also have a good Easter.
(Can't really say these things without beig joked at)

I decided to not go to church with my Mom for Easter so I could play with a church nearby my work and ask out a girl who I play with in the orchestra.
Rejected me.
No happy easter

They really are.

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I fucking hate myself and have hated myself for as long as I can remember.
Despise everything about myself. No confidence, no social skills, no physical ability. I have friends but I've always played the role in the group that everyone kinda laughs at/doesn't take seriously because I'm a bit off and I'm incredibly, painfully awkward. I've been that guy for years, in every social circle I've ever been a part of and that's just one of the many things I hate about myself.
I can't talk to girls, I can barely hold a conversation even with my friends, I have a shit relationship with my family, I regularly cut myself off from people because I convince myself that they hate me, I struggle to pay attention to anything, I'm hilariously bad at every single physical activity you could possibly think of.
Opening up makes me feel uncomfortable because I think everyone's against me so I do it on here because it's anonymous but no one here can fucking help me, I can't even help myself.

>Hit Church girl
>Get rejected.
>Swallow sadness
>send some faxes.

I hate you too

I wanna hate you for spending the time with him instead of me, even if I understand the distance is a big fucking problem... but I\m actually still in love. Fuck you L.

please make my pain go away

>Ages 30-39
>Substance abuse
>Pretty much telling me I'm going to kill myself.
Well I'm 29 this year. So got one more year to suffer and then bullet to the temple. I'm not going to fuck around.

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where does it hurt??
is it loss? longing?

Why do people make Wednesday out to be a goth girl? She was only goth in the reboot film which I hated. The Addam's were like Roma/gypsy folk more than anything. There was nothing goth about them.

Dude you have all the traits for Comedy. How do you think comedians become funny. They hate themselves to the point they laugh at themselves and then can use that to make jokes about their life. Start watching old school comedy and stand ups.

In my self esteem

>Why do people make Wednesday out to be a goth girl?
She is basically the female version of death. That is my theory. I thought it was Winoa Ryder in Beatles juice that sparked the goth genre becoming mainstream?

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I think it's fine like this, it has always been like this. The saving I was looking for was just a self serving dream of people doing shit for me.

I have to exist how I exist. I have to be fine with it.

Lol cheers mate. I admit I probably look really pathetic but it's anonymous so who cares.

I forgot to add I'm not even remotely funny. People laugh at me not with me, and most of the time I don't know why they're laughing at me. I've just accepted it.

You are not inadequate my friend.
What is it that you are striving for that seems so out of reach?

a body I feel confortable in

The image you attached is generic, and those symptoms can show up in many conditions which are far more common than BPD. People with BPD withdraw affection and pretend you don't exist, cheat on you, or or hurt themselves more commonly than accusing people of having their condition. Your person likely didn't have it and has something more common. If you cheated or randomly ghosted them without saying a word the accusation has merit, if you didn't then they likely said it during a fight baselessly like most people fighting do.

I can't control my binge eating disorder and that's killing me. I'm tired of this shit.

I'm sick of teenagers.

I know that feel. Another user mentioned No Mans Sky but I thought I'd also mention Starbound. It's a beautiful game imo even though not a lot of people like it.

My family is always doing the same things over and over again and I'm just tired of it.

lol, I understand why people don't like it. I have Starbound and I like it for what it is even though I've played Terraria more.
In fact, that sounds like a good way to waste time for a few hours. I'm going to play it now.

I'm never going to have sex

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>I forgot to add I'm not even remotely funny.
>People laugh at me not with me,
Who told you this fucking shit. Because i'm telling you something or someone did major damage control on your well self esteem. And in all honesty leave all the friend group bullshit. Like someone once said you got to put yourself out there and if people don't like it. Then fuck em.

is it definitively/objectively/theoretically possible for you to attain that image?
not necessarily the ideal image, rather the turning point of you being comfortable with your body as opposed to uncomfortable with it?

What the hell is wrong with people? I told my bf that if he wanted to have sex with someone else he just had to tell me beforehand and he could get my permission. But now after a fight he tells me he fucked someone else a year ago and was planing on never telling me

I don't understand what happened.
There are was with this guy and we have all these things in common and he's kind of a friend you know like I talk a class with him and he was the only other guy there that would stick up against the SJWs in the classroom.
So he's a friend now kinda but we hadn't hung out yet or anything.
I start talking with him by chance when we meet on the bus and there's this moment were I say I've been busy with some things and he says "yeah? Like what?" and there was something about the way he said it that just sounded strangely caring or charismatic or something so it caught me off-guard made me a little nervous and I didn't know what to say all of a sudden so I just said "well... just stuff" and he turns around with a sad look on his face...

Why would he be truthful to a whore?

>What the hell is wrong with people? I told my bf that if he wanted to have sex with someone else he just had to tell me beforehand and he could get my permission.

Why would you give permission? Seems kinda odd.

I mean...
Is it normal for a friend to make you nervous

Right I mean there are a lot of reasons why you would get nervous.

You are going to become like Dr.Cox and Jordan if you date him. I guarantee it. But i'm guessing it is a school yard crush at this stage. So have fun.

We're both males. So it's kinda expected we act like whores from time to time

I don't know but my environment tries hard to be an obstacle against me trying to find out

If you want some common signs though, BPD people shift between being clingy and caring (to the point they will be the most caring person you know) and they tend to be emotionally sensitive. They will at random then shift and pretend you don't exist and are the worst person alive unprovoked. That cycles back and forth.

If they are clingy and caring then they flipped their shit over you attempting to break it off, or over you legitimately spending little time with them/ignoring them (i.e. days or weeks and not out of the blue). Then it is far more common they have abandonment issues, or seperation anxiety disorder instead of BPD.

Kys child raper

I've thought about ditching everyone before, but I've known some of them for years. Part of me knows they care about me and want the best for me. I doubt they're malicious but I'm an extremely socially/physically awkward person and as a result I do a lot of weird/stupid/funny shit and get laughed at I guess.
I've lived in different countries and cities and I've experienced it everywhere. I've always experienced it and never understood it, so for a little bit I just decided to try and wear it on my sleeve but I'm not a child and I'm sick of being that guy now. Being the constant butt of the joke sucks yet no matter how hard I try, I can't escape it. Being painfully awkward, anxious, and depressed sucks and I'm getting to the point where it's gonna affect my life. I can't get girls for shit. I'll probably flop my interviews when it's time for me to get a job in my field. I have to force myself to not sleep the morning away, to not spend all my time in my room on my bed away from people. I just do shit because I have to, there's no enthusiasm or motivation or buzz or anything. Just grey.

My health is declining at 22 and I don't know what the fuck. Some things I have caused myself and some are happening on their own. Ive dealt with dwpression for a long time but I fianlly steppes up and decided to see a psychi. She gave me ssris but I decided not to take then since there's a 70% chance they cause sexual side effects, and ive already got a messed up dick from masturbating way too hard once a year ago. Now my glans constantly hurts and my orgasms dont feel good/lasr long. So im seeing a urologist too. Also my depression caused me to indulge in self destructive behaviour and Ive consumed alcohol and weed for a long time now, leading to mental problems that also manifest visually. Ive developed visual snow, and my eyes feel super stiff, like they are constantly stiff, they move very choppily. Reading has become a hassle. So im seeing a neuroophtalmologist too. Last but not least, hairloss is the last nail in the coffin. And all I can do is pay a fortune for meds that have been proven to degrade sexual health. Also, yes I suppose I have hypochondria, but just being really focused on my health doesnt make my problems any less real. Im seriously bummed out, because about two years ago I had none of these problems but the visual snow. Fuck

They said they have bipolar disorder/sensitivity/anger issues. What irked me is a lot of stuff. I can forget easily. What I want is that he stops talking about me, as he continuously did and 99% sure still does to everyone. I have forgiven his madness, and I hope he did mine. I can't control the content online so I got over it. I just wish I knew him in real life so I could beat him up lmao. He *keeps* insulting me and it got so far others in this other circle jerk pointed it out, all the while I was ignoring since I thought it was pointless. He blocked me, I was very thankful in a way. No I really was actually. I just found it sad he did it because of something very hypocritical and a harmless something. All in all he is much nicer than most people, even if he got called out by pretentious people, I know this website is full of assholes.
Well, someone who was neutral and truthful as they criticized me for not blocking from start instead of putting my hand in shit wasn't supposed to read our convos but they did. They said he's a liar, just as much and even more than me because it was in a perverted surreal crazy wanting to have someone but they cannot ever have it because they aren't supposed to have it nature. (They were angry at me and basically said that)
Did not cheat, he was not even my boyfriend! God. It's complicated, would rather not have bombarded messages and provoke the guy. I had my account on purpose not deleted because I'm such an anxious person. Hopefully they leave me alone for good.
He blocked me but
>randomly ghosted them without saying a word
Are you fucking for real? I don't know him! I regret even soothing him. Nobody owes anyone anything if they just talked online a few days or even months. We fucking never dated. To hell, if I'm supposed to take responsibility to a virtual contact then let me have a serial killer disease even, fuck it. I hate him, and his crew, with all my fucking heart. Obsessed weirdo cunt. (Not you).

Holy shit that is him. He said he'd dox me when I wouldn't respond within 5 mins. Fuck I hate him so much. He said he was just teaching me a lesson. God if only he was more interesting enough to just punch.

>If they are clingy and caring then they flipped their shit over you attempting to break it off, or over you legitimately spending little time with them/ignoring them (i.e. days or weeks and not out of the blue).
You know nothing about bpd either it seems btw. This is bpd as well. Black and white. Ugh fuck this board.

I don't have any friends, the people I socialize with are pretty much there because there is no one else... they are constantly bullying me, we don't share any of the same interests (I love History, Science, Politics while they are at the materialistic side) maybe an introvert talking to extroverts really isn't a good idea but... guess thats my only option.

You and her so damn dysfunctional and it'll be easy to prove. I don't want him around you two drama. When you going to wake up and smell the toxicity? She stank of negative thoughts and that's what she wants. Wait until you get the ruling. Shit going to be real then.

Not 5 mins sorry but within a few seconds*

I hope this works

What works?

Don't stalk me bro

I will and there's nothing you can do about it :) you will learn to love me, as you owe me your life and all because you said you love me.

If it doesn't bother you to be single (other than the societal angle) maybe just focus on self-improvement. Get your life in better order, iron out the kinks, visit family, find (another) hobby, you know. If you're a part of any social groups, do NOT neglect them, but try to branch out a bit.
Take a trip to the city, go to a concert there, enjoy being around people. See if you can take up dance classes or similar, you might meet interesting people. Initiate contact with small groups under casual pretense, but be ready to get out if you're unwelcome.
Keep in mind that if it works out, they can be your friends for the rest of your life. If it won't, you don't have to ever see them again. Distance has advantages to it too. Remember you can be whatever you want to be there. Don't be afraid to experiment. Go to a metal concert if you're feeling like it. No one will know.

I’m here rooting for you, never against you. I just wanted to know if it was between “impossible” or “difficult as fuck”. I too have similar though different challenges.

If it’s merely “extremely fucking difficult”, but not impossible, there’s hope.
I wish I could be that rock in your environment, that piece of stability that would stay by you during these trials (since I would want someone to be there for me like that), there’s nothing wrong with finding help to do something. If you can find help, and hold onto the fact that your dreams are realistic and realizable. and if you can manage to do it without help, then you can prove to the universe that you are the toughest motherfucker around.

I’m here in these threads if you need the support, I believe in you, in your virtues if anything. Strength and virtue are separate things, and strength is just as important; gather strength in any way you can, and make any steps in the direction that you know deep down will make you complete.

this

Is this your way of saying you love me?

Yes

Maybe you should simply confess to your POI instead of stalk them. Just saying. I am afraid we don't know each other but I think you are better off confessing than stalking

I'm an alcoholic, an unfit bumbling anxious reclusive brown mess with a laundry list of fears that's almost as long as my list of sins.

So it blows my mind that you like me as much as you do. It warms my fucking heart. Someone as busy as you still throwing time and attention my way. It goes without mentioning how beautiful you are too.

I miss you. I hope you get unbusy really soon. I hope we get back to the way things were. It drives me crazy

Thanks a lot for the advice. I also root for you, I hope you overcome those challenges. You sound like a really good person

Hint. She's not into you

I once broke up with someone when I found out they were an alcoholic. lol

The guy from the Chef Boyardee can looks like my dad and it makes me happy to see that because I love his face!

Happy Easter, dad. I love you!

It was the correct choice.

Your eyes speak louder than your words.

> Dr.Cox and Jordan
I haven't watched that show and years, never developed an opinion about it, and don't remember this Dr. Cox and Jordan thing.

You don't love them. If you loved them you wouldn't stalk them. If you are a girl, know that it isn't cute or like your animes. If you are a man you REALLY need to stop.

M8 i don't use this shit board this mentally ill person i talked to used it so i decided to blow off some steam because of his autism. Don't even know what POI means. No worries, I thought you were shitposting as well. But I didn't know these threads is just people talking to themselves.

Spot on. I was the user you replied to btw. Though I was wondering, do all stalkers not love their victims? It doesn't seem that they do because of the distress and selfish motives but it isn't possible that no stalker does, right? And we all stalk a lil bit (facebook) I guess but it gets creepy when you expose yourself and when it gets too far.

No, that is someone with a complex getting mad after being legitimately being ignored or ghosted. This psycho tier unprovoked shit is bpd.

What's the difference, though? I have all the rights to ignore him, I don't even know him irl, though if I did I wanted to since he was boring (for me) and annoying. Though I was too scared to do so. And he was correct, that I was intending on ghosting him since we have nothing in common and he was only holding me "hostage", despite me in the stage of not ignoring him yet as I "properly" responded 24/7 within a few seconds or minutes at most. Is the difference the way you react and the difference the way you feel a big difference? Since it says indeed according to multiple sources that BPDs have abandonment issues.

It's tough. Fasting has really helped me

While both types of people have abandonment issues, one reacts poorly only if you treat them like dirt by actually abandoning them or if you are not honest about your intentions.

The other demands your immediate attention at all times and still goes nuts through no fault of your own.

One gets upset at legitimate abandonment, or dont speak up about what you want (upset over a real hurt). The other is completely nuts and thinks you are abandoning them even if you aren't, and demands you check in and avoid friends.

But I did want to abandon this loony nutcase, so he does not sound bpd and I am, right? Honestly I was a retard as I said. But my problem was and still is to a smaller degree being too kind and helping a hand.

I never said that, you said he threatened to dox you because you didn't talk to him after five seconds. He is totally at fault. You asked for confirmation if he was bpd, yeah he probably was.

everyone left voice chat and it was just me and you
and we were quiet for a while
and i panicked and i said that I didnt know what to say
and you laughed
you laughed and laughed and said "you're so funny"
what do you mean?
I'm so confused

just turned 19 and i feel sht for pushing people away from me and at the same time wanting them

Third time seeing her this week and I ran out of shit to talk about.
No, I actually just Freeze up. I imagine all these conversations in my head but Freeze up and get awkward when I'm near her.
She was sitting across from me and I couldn't bring up anything outside of work. I swore I'd speak out more but I'm failing myself.

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>Be me
>Young guy just starting first job, two others hired with me, blue collar job
>like a month or two in
>Have meme disability adhd, really shitty short term memory and bit of focusing issues.
>someone left a notepad for me to use on toolbox
>Hey this shit is helpful
>Been drawing small doodles in margins of notepad because spent last three days watching paint dry
>Got some praise on one of the spotless, asked if I was hobby cartoonist
>Same guy decides to draw massive fucking smiley face in the middle of the notepad
>After no one looking at it but that guy in the last week, someone looks and goes wtf
>Notepad is removed at some point and it looks like I can’t be trusted with a fucking notepad without doing nothing but doodling.
>Now all shop math and material cut lists have to be written on scraps of cardboard I rip from boxes if I want to write anything down
>Because of like three doodles and a dipshit.
>Fuck
I know I If I didn’t draw anything at all I’d probably still have the stupid notepad and that it’s not really important, the stupid shit just bugs me because I’m a fucking spaz apparently. Also I have ended up asking coworkers for the same measurement several times within six seconds multiple times.

I feel kind of bad.
>mom was negligent and emotionally abusive raising me
>distanced myself from family after college
>she signed off for half of my loans (50k total 25k her side), legally in her name but I agreed to pay it
>graduated, can't find a real job, been living in abject poverty and can barely afford to eat (I do live on my own though)
>2 years later
>mom gave up on me, told me she'll just pay that half off and for me not to worry about it
>grandpa is dying this week and she'll get maybe 20k-40k, will use her inheritance to pay off my loan
>want to feel bad, but then remember how shitty my childhood was and all the issues I have because of it
I'm rather conflicted. also rip grandpa, he was nice. he's had a long happy life so I'm not upset he's dying. Am I a piece of shit? I should feel bad for being incompetent, right?

You sound pretty mentally yourself, seeing how you're larping as a stalker.

How? When you're done fasting don't you feel an intense urge to binge again?

>jbp has a podcast archiving his lectures
holy shit what a time to be alive. the sheer power of the internet amazes me.

My red lenses came in today. Man does it feel good to look outside and pretend it's the martian landscape though personally, I believe aerocities in venus would be much more habitable.

If you consider mild shitposting to bizzare venting as mentally ill you really need to stick a tampon in your poophole.

I don't. Its strange. Keeping busy really helps. It's amazing how long it takes for me to actually feel a hunger pain. I'm so use to eating so much.