I've been tell this to a bunch of people this past week since it's really bugging me:
last saturday my friend and i were just sending memes while i was high. Later in the night i sent him a dick pic since we were fwb and i thought in my head it be okay or whatever (at least at the time. i sent him one before since we were joking about sending dick pics when i was drunk but he didnt really speak that he didnt want it till i sent the second one. now i learned i've should of asked, i really regret it). anyways, ive tried contacting him the following day when i was sober and another time 5 days after but i got no response, he hasnt blocked me or unfriended me on discord and phone number but i kinda want to stop thinking about it and move on since it's bringing me down and not to mention the thoughts in my head of "I wished I turned off my phone" or "I've should of told him good night so i wouldn't sent him that" or "I've of not gotten high". i think it's because i dont have any friends in college and with him being the only one that hung out before the incident, i didnt felt alone and happy for once. I've talked to a few people of what to do and all seem to just wait a while and it'll all be okay. But now it looks like it's not the case. I really need to move on before it starts effecting my work ethic. Still there is one side of me that wants to talk to him face-to-face on campus since i do see him sometimes, but i dont want make it seem like i am a creep or desperate to win him back. I also have one his shirts when he came over and i want to give it back so i dont seem like a dick but whatever.
point I am trying to make is i really need some advice: whether it's to clear my head or some way to talk to him, i just want somebody to talk to
>wait a while and it'll all be okay That is not how you solve a conflict - ever.
You obviously overstepped his boundaries. I mean, sending an unsolicited dp is never a good idea, but i guess you learned your lesson. The issue with this is that it feels very invasive to be shown someone‘s genitalia if you‘re not horny yourself and want to see them. Anyways, you can either pretend this never happened and never talk to him again, but i doubt that‘s what you want and it would be just you avoiding confrontation and taking responsibility for your actions. Look at it as a good way to improve your ability to endure unpleasant social situations. What have you texted him so far? Let‘s see if we could improve that to the point where he might be willing to talk to you again.
Adam Johnson
well, the past two messages i sent him were at first sorry of what i've done but for the majority of it i just thank him for being a good friend and helping me improve my self-confidence and image. An example of this was going to one of college's therapist but i was to shy/embarrassed to talk my situation in our last meeting. i've also sent him a meme i made since that's one the thing on how we begin friends
Matthew James
i also get a sense that saying sorry is going to make it worse. one thing i had in mind is if i ever see him is just to wave high and continue walking away
Joshua Garcia
Can you please post the exact text of you saying sorry? Because apologizing needs to contain a few specific things to feel genuine. If you haven‘t included them, he‘ll think you‘re not really sorry.
Ryder Scott
Hey, I just want to say I sincerely regret sending you that last night and made you uncomfortable. I thought at the moment it was alright to send them but after looking back I now realize it wasn't ok. I wish I have never sent them. While I think now you won't consider me as a friend, I still want to thank you for helping me the past few months. You stirred me in the right direction and I couldn't have done it without you if you weren't there. I'm sorry and if you could, I really want to talk to you on what happened last night. I still want to be your friend. Not really sure if it was the right thing to say since I didn't want to bother him.
Wyatt Reyes
Send a couple of butt pics and it evens out
Jeremiah Martin
i want to talk to the guy not get sent to jail for sexual assault
Joseph Johnson
>now you won't consider me as a friend That was over the top and a pure interpretation. The rest was pretty good. Maybe you rubbed him in a way that has triggered him deeper than you could have anticipated. Right now i‘d say to stop blaming yourself. You did a mistake but it honestly wasn‘t THAT bad, given you two have been sexual before. You‘ve done all you could, now the ball‘s in his court. If he doesn‘t reach out, it is definitely not your fault. Maybe there‘s a lot more going on that you know because it sure sounds like it.
Eli Morales
idk, i've always been open and honest how i feel towards him since the beginning like how i always find him cute or if im having a bad day i ramble on for hours to him but as for him sometimes it hard to get him to talk about how he feels. I hint i can always think of is how his ex treated him, but since he doesnt talk about it, it maybe thats the main reason. i could of reminded him about his ex
James Gutierrez
i always think it's fault. i remember one day in the library he noticed i was feeling sad that he gave me a note saying "Don't be so hard to yourself". I still have it in wallet so i can remember not to be so negative.
Connor Clark
*my fault
Brandon Gomez
I can see that. It‘s good to take responsibility, but definitely don‘t carry the world on your shoulders. Also, he sounds like someone who values his privacy and alone time. Maybe your hour long ramblings were just too much for him and the dp was only the icing on the cake.
Logan Jenkins
it could be, but im not really that sure about my ramblings pushed him to not talk to me anymore since i only did it a couple of times. he always said to me that the may reason why he likes a lot was because of my honesty and being sensitive
Jose Bell
idk, i always feel like i gave him too much attention but not the same with me. like i'll take a lot his advice, listen to his music, movie, and video game recommendations but when it comes to my stuff it's hard to know if he likes them
Caleb Collins
the more i think about our relationship, the more i think about if he really cared about me or if was using me for sex. i remember i use send him music from youtube right before bed but then i stop doing it since i figured he didnt like my taste. he nevered questioned why i stopped sending it so i figured i was right
Brayden Brooks
Sounds like he might have some intimacy issues. Again, that‘ll be none of your responsibility/fault. You should stop trying to always find the fault in you. It‘s good to analyze and not be afraid to own up to it if something IS your fault, but feeling responsible for everything is not sane.
Christopher Wood
Yes, that might have been the case. Maybe he wanted something casual (like fwb is supposed to be...) and then you started to try to get a bit closer so he used the dp as an opportunity to call it quits.
Nathaniel Morales
I feel better about myself now at least.
Joseph Reed
well he talked to me every day and he usually was the first to text in the mourning. he also kept suggesting we should go on a date and one time when were stoned ask if he wants to be boyfriends (he then said he wants to go slow before then saying he wants to be fwb atm) idk, i just cant really wrap my head on what he wants for sure since he's the one that usually approaches me for stuff.
also flip-flops a lot. one week he asked me out, then the day before he says he changed his mind and says he wants to go slow. again, im completely fine with what he wants since i didnt wanted to do what his did to him
Luke Adams
Maybe he‘s insecure about openly being in a gay relationship?
Or he‘s on the fence wether or not you are the person he wants to be in a relationship with. Nothing wrong with that. It‘s good to be critical of whom you want to build a future with. Maybe he saw that you two aren‘t compatible in the long run.
Gabriel Cox
we're both bi, but whatever not that it matters lol, he's very open about.
idk, i told him one time if he just want to be friends im perfectly find with it.
i on the other hand not really open out my sexuality because of my family (super religious, so if i do ever get in a relationship with another man i plan to causally tell them without making a big deal). I also was on the fence about the whole relationship thing and that was one the reason why i didnt approach physically since the majority of the time i just want to get to know him better to see if he be a good partner
