I'm a woman with really high testosterone levels, to the extent that it affects my physical appearance. I'm not a hermaphrodite or anything, but I am abnormal physically, including with my genital area, and my voice for the most part sounds male.
I've been having a lot of difficulty recently when it comes to how masculine or feminine I really am. I definitely appear to be female to others, just a fairly masculine-looking one, but on the inside I find it tough to relate to the women around me. My pride revolves around being brave and standoffish and my female friends don't seem to hold this sensibility at all. I was on the softball team in high school and I'd frequently go off to train with the boys after all the girls got tired and sat in a circle to talk and gossip. I know not all girls are this way, or a hivemind, or anything, but it just feels like there's this wedge between me and other women that I can't break through. I feel a disconnect between my appearance and my insides, and it really makes me miserable, honestly.
I'm willing to accept that biologically, I am a woman, and that the reason I feel this way is because of my testosterone levels and not because I have the soul of a boy or any of that crap. I'm just not quite sure how to navigate my life. I want to be seen as man, I feel like a man, and yet I'm not a man. But as a woman, I stand out in a crowd, I look too masculine. I can't really be either. It just sucks, man.
That's really interesting OP, altough certainly an unfortunate situation to be in. I wish I could help you. Curiosity: do you feel like you have a high sex drive?
I dont see the problem. Just hang out with dudebros and pretend you are another dudebro with additional tits as bonus.
Gavin Martin
Yes and no. I have a number of fantasies and thoughts relating to sex, but I don't really have a physical sex drive.
Carter Scott
You on the pill? That causes manjaw and makes women ugly on the inside and out
Ryder Thompson
No. This was diagnosed for me at age 9 or 10 and was something I was born with.
Ethan Rodriguez
Your a tomboy nothing wrong with it, and there are plenty of them.so nothing unusual
Brody Robinson
Maybe hang out with some men that are less macho and more intellectual. Then you'll feel more comfortable in that space.
Andrew Russell
I find it tough to get into any group of guys, because there's a natural hesitation to letting a woman into the group that I completely understand, but yeah, maybe I'm looking in the wrong circles. Although I relate more to macho guys, they're hard to befriend.
Nicholas Wilson
Drink more $0¥. If it can feminize men, maybe it'll feminize you too. Pic related. Alternatively, get on some actual hormone therapy.
Be careful with onions products if you've a family history of breast cancer.
Connor Perry
Would you say that you are more attracted to feminine men?
Jack Fisher
No, but my sexual interests, for the most part, revolve around me aggressively dominating a man the same way many men would like to dominate women.
Nathaniel Reyes
This desu I played softball too and hated a large portion of girl culture, but I have hips for days. Why do you want to be seen as a man? Men suck too. No gender is better, this is green grass speak.
Dominic Butler
Ok? Why can't you into domme culture then? You can have the bear types I won't touch.
John Phillips
OP, not to be impolite, but have you spent time talking with a professional about this, and really working out how you feel, and who you want to be? Those kinds of fantasies aren't exactly totally normal for men or women, and could be part of a wider identity issue. I am sure you're a totally fine normal person, but coming to the *chans for this kind of stuff may not be as productive as a professional
Samuel Rodriguez
Can you peg me?
Parker Rodriguez
I don't like domme culture, it's not for me. I have almost no actual physical sex drive, and even if I did become aroused, my interests are more aggressive and macho than most dommes. There's also the issue of my body. Dommes tend to play up their femininity and female body, and I don't really have much to work with.
Really, I'm not too interested in the sexual talk. My hormone imbalance makes my sex drive close to nonexistant. I almost never think about it.
Owen Green
Make sure the said professional is bdsm/kink informed though, some professionals will just outright say it's wrong and you need to stop.
Cooper Diaz
Testosterone first and foremost makes you naturally more aggressive and competitive. I'd consider this pretty normal considering your situation, honestly.
Ignore Have you had any luck with talking to any transgenders, OP? As crazy as they are sometimes, they have quite a bit of experience dealing with the whole, masculine vs feminine thing and how it related to your personal and social identities. You might gain some insight and wisdom if you talked to a few trans folks if you were able to.
A lot of this though is something you're going to have to find out yourself. Society has expectations on who you should be, and it sometimes doesn't align with who you feel you are or want to be. That balance between masculine and feminine is something you'll have to find with yourself in time. You might have some issues with alienation though, it's unfortunately just kind of par for the source when it comes to those that feel they're outside the norm, especially with this day and age with all the gender stuff going on.
Jason Parker
I agree with you for the most part, but medically I was diagnosed and figured out pretty long ago. I know it's not normal for men or women to feel this way, but, as much as I dislike the fact, I'm not normal. A professional certainly can't hurt, but really, I find it helpful just to see what some anons have to say.
