So, I asked out a girl I like. I bit into the whole 'better get rejected now than regret it later' meme some anons spouted here.
The worst possible outcome came to be, she said yes and we're going for a coffee soon.
What the fuck do I do? I'm 26 and I've never been on a date before, obviously khv incel etc.
I'm gonna embarass myself and everyone will make fun of me.
Should I just cancel?
I fucked up
Yeah, cancel.
You'll get plenty of other opportunities like this all the time, and if you're feeling self conscious and worried, the next one will totally somehow be better.
Go fgt go on a date the regret of canceling will eat you from the inside out
Don't cancel man, just go talk about whatever. The best thing you can do when chatting with people the for the first time is ask them about themselves. Think about how nervous you are, right? What do you talk about? Oh shit, who knows. But if she asks you questions like: "So what's your favorite movie?" or "What type of books do you read?" then bam, you've got your conversation material and you just run with it.
Just make sure you're both talking equal amounts. Every time she asks you something, answer in a reasonable amount of time, and then ask her the same question or a related question.
"I've never been to Europe, have you?" invites you to talk about any trips to Europe you've taken, what you liked (remember to mostly stay positive. Don't complain about what you don't like), and then you can ask:
"What about you? Have you been?"
"Do you like to travel?"
"Where in the world have you gone?"
"It's crazy how many different languages you run into traveling across Europe. Do you speak any other languages?"
Just do that and you can make it through an hour or two easy, provided you're an interesting person that has enough interests/hobbies to maintain conversation. That's the biggest risk is if you're a boring person that doesn't do anything but sit on Jow Forums all day.
Just be yourself. Make a move on her when the time comes. The fact that she agreed to go out on a date with you is a sign that she is interested unless you didn't make that clear enough for her. Good luck OP.
>'better get rejected now than regret it later'
I'm going to assume I was the one who said that.
>she said yes
great
>What the fuck do I do?
First off, ask better questions. Ask instead "How can I be a good date for this woman when I have no experience?"
The better your question, the better your answer.
Anyway, I'm not going to overload you, so I'm going to tell you two things I think are most important.
First -- listening. Really make sure you listen to her. If the conversation gets silent, don't try and save it, but find a way to listen to her. When she's talking, actually think about her, her life, her words, her experiences, how she must felt in the story. Really listen. That is huge.
Second -- Flow. You guys should chat back-and-forth naturally. Just a nice flow. Nobody overthing, nobody nervous. You can accomplish flow by being super honest. Straight from brain-to-mouth. Speak your mind INSTANTLY and don't think about what you're saying. What this forces you to do is be very honest, and lets her see your true inner character. It lets her feel you, the emotional "you", the real person underneath the words. It also gives her comfort and lets her do the same, so you can experience the real 'her'. All you have to do, to get this comfy vibe between you guys is being super honest, directly from brain to mouth instantly. The moment you start thinking about things, then the conversation turns distant. So just try and remember these two facts.
As a bonus: I'll also say don't expect sex nor a kiss. Just expect to enjoy the company of a nice woman and that's all you want. If you get physical, if it happens to happen, the treat it as a bonus. But for the first date, really just focus on the fact you're sitting across from a beautiful woman, who is happy, happy because she's with you, and you are talking to this human being. Cherish it
Best to you.
dude dont cancel. Just do it, fail and learn from your mistakes. Dont go into it thinking you're gonna fuck it up. Just have a conversation with her and dont answer any questions lolol the more honest you are with females the less they like you.
You can do it! Just try to get to know her interests, without probing too much. I assume you have basic common sense and human decency, if I'm wrong feel free to correct me, that should be enough to carry you through. I believe in you!
good advice bro. OP listen to this guy.
>Should I just cancel?
No, redpill her on the Jews
Cancelling is the worst thing you can do. A date isn't marriage. Just go.
Or don't. Then I don't have to think about someone 4 to 5 years younger than me being successful with women when I can't even do basic mood reading.
Don't listen to this monh
*more successful.
This is a terrible conversation
>dude movies
>dude travel
Might as well be stoners talking about weed.
I'm a walking, talking Jow Forums meme. I'm fat. I'm not particularly good looking.
My only interests are anime and videogames.
I just hid these things from the normies at uni.
I don't want her to find out about how much of a loser I really am, no matter how the whole thing goes.
>I don't want her to find out about how much of a loser I really am
The date hasn't even started and you're already trying to control things.
Well, I am quite baffled as to why she even accepted.
I'm not good looking. I might be if I stopped being fat, but as it stands I'm an average height fatass with no particular social presence.
There was absolutely no reason for her to say yes. It wasn't in the script.
>it wasnt in the script
kek most things in life aren't
just go on the date, unironically be urself, talk about the weird weeb shit you do or whatever, chime in with honest opinions with stuff she brings up, talk about interesting places in the area
you want her to find out about anime and video games, that's the fun part about meeting new people, you get to meet them.
If that's how you feel about yourself then how the fuck do you expect her to find you attractive?
There are reasons why people suggest an insecure person to work out, make money, and learn something new even though its a very generic response. What they are essentially telling you is to gain some self-confidence since women love that.That's not to say you have to have a complete makeover although that can help tremendously. You just have to be happy with yourself, that is all.
Don't cancel.
>I'm gonna embarass myself
Almost certainly.
>and everyone will make fun of me.
For a minute or two, just laugh along.
>you want her to find out about anime and video games
Fuck no, I don't want anyone knowing I actually like anime, especially at my age. There's a certain stigma to liking anime well into your mid-20s.
>how the fuck do you expect her to find you attractive?
That's the point, I wasn't. Which is why I was baffled when she said yes.
Not that poster, but with decent non-verbal communication and friendliness, the dumbest topics can be enjoyable. Sometimes people enjoy the very act of conversing with a fellow being, regardless of the content.
Go and get the succ user.
Okay good. Go in there with zero expectations then. That might help you to not give a fuck about the outcome.
That's reasonable. It's hard to be able to think like that when the time actually comes.
I just need to keep reminding myself that I had already given up on ever being with a female and keep it cool.
Motherfucker. You got what you desired and still complain?
What the fuck is wrong with you user? You need us to tell your to ask her out and now you're too beta to actually go on a date
If you cancel, you might as well chop your balls off since they're vestigial
What I desired was a clean rejection and to be treated like a creep and to reinforce my bias that I'm an undateable loser. Her saying yes made me do alot of self searching, but for all I understand I still don't know what she sees in me.
I won't cancel. Not sure if I wanna reveal what I actually am to her, but I will at least go.
The key is to not think. Once you do, you will become obsessed with how you should respond/react/blah blah blah. Just go with the flow.
>but for all I understand I still don't know what she sees in me.
Just have fun. You've got a beautiful date. Be proud you have one!
Let her talk alot.
When she says something your familiar with or like, say shit like "wow really? Me too!".
Once you have a feel for her or shes done talking. Relate yourself to her based on what you know/learned.
Find common ground...even if it's just the coffee.
Hell..let her order first and then order what she got (but larger size).
Pay for her drink.
That's called a loser mentality, aka the one thing you need to get rid of to be happy
Is there a single guy on this board who is not completely pathetic?
Go and have coffee with the girl and chat with her.
For absolute fucks sake, what are you so fucking afraid of you absolute beta piece of trash?
I know, but I don't want to be happy, it scares me, I like my self-pity!...
Fuck, whatever happens in the end, the self-realisation over this will remain. I never expected a girl saying 'yes' when least expected would make me grow as a person.
Revealing my power level. I played fake normie at uni where I met her, so she doesn't know what I really am. Even more than that, and only now I realise, I'm scared that she might actually like me. Regardless, I will change myself.
Op I was the same age and never been on a date. Then I started making an effort and got a few dates. Just go and try not to stress. Even though I get social anxiety normally it was fine (maybe because I met them on the internet, I guess this isn't your situation though). It was actually much easier than expected.
>No, redpill her on the Jews
When can you do this? Fourth date?
>doesn't know how every day conversation works due to CRIPPLING Autism
I feel bad for you, dude.
Repetition makes perfect.
If everything goes south, it'll still be an experience to do better on later dates. You can fail a million times and still be successful in the end.
As for this one, be chill and talk like if it were a dude, just mindful that it isn't one. Be yourself while also being pleasant and fun.
Ok OP, fuck what literally everyone else is saying, let's turn this around and get my man laid. You may be an autistic fat fuck, but it is called getting lucky for a reason, you got lucky. She said yes, and for some reason finds something redeemable in you. Now looks don't matter at all. She has already said yes, you can lose insecurity about whether or not she is interested. She said yes so she is interested, that is it. Next, I assume you have her number or at least some normie bullshit like snapchat. Women have so many different normie men texting them pussy shit all day, anywhere from tastless "hey"s to erect dick pics. Fuck both of those. You gotta stand out so she knows she is dealing with an alpha. Get up right now, look in the mirror, whip your flaccid cock out, and send her a limp dick pic. Show you aren't afraid to flaunt what God gave you, caption it something like "ready to wake up the beast? ;)" the winky face is fucking integral to your success. This is just a start, but after that a surge of testosterone will fill your veins and balls, and you will know instinctively what to do next to fill her womb with your chubby incel seed.
Fuck this advice. Get out of your comfort zone and go. Relax, breathe, she wants to go with you. Even if you fuck it up you will learn how to act on dates and get better at them. You have to start somewhere user.
fuck I want to punch your fucking face into orbit
>ahh bloo bloo she said yes even though I wanted to get rejected
don't worry man, It'll come. she's gonna see you for the weak piece of retarded shit that you are eventually
Why did you ask her in the first place then, you fat fuck?
No regrets.
That's literally it.
No matter how this ends, this has been a very enlightening experience for me.
Holy seethe buddy, thank you for this fucking KEK
>26
>need a hugbox to help you just ask a girl out
C'mon guy. You gotta be able to tackle the unknown at some point in your life.
You're just gonna trash anons attempt at help but not suggest better small talk topics?
>I'm gonna embarass myself and everyone will make fun of me.
Literally nobody will care. Nobody cares about that shit past highschool
You can't expect your life to magically get better. You have an oppurtunity now, take it
Go to the date
Joke about this being your first date, it'll make her feel special
Don't try to hard
in case it gets quite and borderline awkward, think of a topic you're passionate about, that is not too cringy, and tell her about it
Girls love when guys are passionate about something, literally anything, as long as it not something popularly associated with weakness or something
Also depends on what kind of girl she is of course
remember to keep us posted on this, OP. im pretty invested by this point
It's next tuesday, since I live in an Orthodox country and its easter this weekend.
I might make a thread about it.
Easter was last weekend... Did you already miss the date?
In the Orthodox churches Easter is a week later.
>Girls love when guys are passionate about something, literally anything, as long as it not something popularly associated with weakness or something
Elaborate please.
I have several hobbies I spend a Lot of time and money on and it gives me great joy personally, but maybe that is what makes women think I am pathetic.
I need to know...
chances are she will stand you up user. or cancel last minute.
Okay, didn't know that.
It is weird that so many share the same religion, yet we can't agree on the simple things like Sunday being in the weekend, when Easter is or what day the Sabbath is. It is a great scam to get an additional holiday, but other than that, it is pretty dumb.
If she is not a geeky/nerdy girl she will hate you talking about anything related to anime and vidya, but if she is try to find out what she likes and ask her to tell you about it, even if you already know more than her, they always love the though of introducing you to something they love
Movies, TV, home/self improvement, cooking are usually safe universal topics, especially if the girl know next to nothing about it, since it is likely to also interest her
But if you find it possible to get her to tell you about something she likes, you'd best make her talk as much as possible while showing interest, they love it.
One personal trick I found is showing some simple life hacks on your phone, like Brave and Youtube Vanced.
They always get surprise how simple it has always been to avoid ads and listen in the background.
this has to be a fucking troll
This is the only correct answer.
even if it goes awful and you make an ass out of yourself at least you tried. It'll make the next date you go on a little less stressful once you figure out that bad social interactions usually have no real world consequences long term
user, I was just in a VERY similar situation this morning, coffee date idea and all but she said she had a bf so it didn't work out.
So please, go on the date. I would have been scared too if she said yes but it has to happen if you really want it to improve yourself.
Don't spoil the chance!
>should I cancel?
The most retarded question I've seen on reddit. Get out of comfort zone you retard. Failure is pretty much what you're going for. The more you fail the better you get with women
act weird or socially awkward
most females are judgmental and more cruel than fellow males
>Should I just cancel?
Yes. 30 years old my self. I embraced monk mode at around 21. You made it this far right? Why nit just stick with it. You werent prepared for her to say yes are you prepared for this to actaully escalate?
How can people like OP exist? They want a gf, want to lose virginity----get a 1st date set up...then make a thread on Jow Forums asking if they should cancel? What the fuck? That's like being hungry for fish, getting a fishing pole and bait, driving out to the pond, then right before casting the reel going "Uhh should I cancel this?"
I think there is a serious epidemic of shutins not going after girls because they fap too much or play too many video games/watch too much anime. Those give them small doses of meager comfort which they choose to live on rather than the greatest comfort, a loving lifelong companion.
self-sabotage is a real thing
it happens when people dont believe they can succeed or fear failure.
>greatest comfort, a loving lifelong companion.
Its not healthy believing in fairytales you know?
I found my lifelong lover user. You can too, but you have to be very good at analyzing people to find the perfect wife. If you know how to analyze people, you can find a wife who will be faithful and the best wife ever. Or, you can be a a beta who thinks that stories about cheating, bad girlfriends, etc, represent the majority.
Yes, absolutely cancel
Imagine how embarrassed you'll be.
Cancelling the date is what I would do.
Remember
You can never have nightmare if you never dream.
>The worst possible outcome came to be, she said yes and we're going for a coffee soon.
Made me laugh. Go for it bitch. How are you ever going to learn how to not be autistic on a date if you never go on a date? Even if you don't want to be in a relationship this is good practice. Plus it's only coffee, it's like an hour at most. Ask her some questions about herself, tell a couple stories you have and everything will be fine.
All these faggotron primes lambasting OP for just asking advice on handling an unexpected event, in the goddamn advice-board on a site not known for its socially well-adjusted userbase
OP, you have some seemingly reasonable advice in this thread. Go for it, and if you feel like it, please post the results, I'm really curious, because sooner or later I might end up in a very similar situation
Just don't go and ghost her. You're going to embarrass yourself on the date, so just get the satisfaction of potentially hurting her feelings.
Op is an actual fucking loser kys nigga plz. This is one of the most beta shit I ever seen. really kys dude
Wtf? This is the same basic shit you incels hate on bitchs for.
Read the thread before posting anons.
I'm going to the damn date. No matter what happens, this has been a wake-up call for me.
Not good op. Not too late to cancel.
Are you actually retarded and can't read through the sarcasm?
That shit is for around 40% of dudes. The rest of us get the scraps at best. Just the way it is. Be realistic and don't do the reddit "hey everyone deserves happiness my dude" because the world isn't like that. Some men are genetic trash and should thus be kept out of the gene pool.
How did they get into the gene pool in the first place then?
Update us. How did it go?
Get to know her and really see whether she's worth anything first.
You wouldn't want to be the asshole who ends up marrying young because he thought it would make him look good... only to be on the brink of a costly divorce with a goldigger LMAO.
It always makes me smile how american NPC's talk about europe.
prostitution and women feeling sorry for them
FUCK that
Just go on the date and try to act casual. The fact that you got the date is evidence that you can get another in the future, use this as a means to take the pressure off, and just relax about fucking it up.
But don't ditch on her, you fucking pussy.
Sarcasm doesn't carry over too well in text, user
I r8 8 of 8
gr8 b8
'reveal what I actually am to her'
Bro, liking anime and games isn't a monstrous part of yourself you need to keep hidden. Everyone is into something, people usually like it when others talk about their passions with passion, not with shame.
If you're that worried about it being stigamtised, find another nerd who shares your interest. There are thousands of happy nerd couples out there.
Pussy just go on the date and don't be so nervous about it. The girl is a human being just like you and she'll have nerves just like you.
Hang out with each other, see if there is some level of chemistry and it'll either lead to more dates or it won't. That's the whole point of dating.
Nah, mostly comes down to alpha fucks beta bucks.
Many women will marry a guy for his money, stability, undevoted commitment or even out of fear of being alone. This despite not being physically attracted to him.
We've all seen objectively ugly men getting girlfriends and wives and thus reproducing.
Doesn't that bring the whole gene pool thing down anyway
Besides alpha and beta are made up term relating to false science
>girl
>human